Lol. This is a classic case of mental laziness. For a man to have worked your a$$ for good five years and still interested in putting a ring on that damned finger, he truly has a thing for you. There is no such thing as a perfect man and if you could be in a relationship with a man for five years, you could possibly be in a union with him forever. You fought and reconciled? Don't you know that's another plus? The sole reason many marriages collapse is non-existent of capacity to resolve disputes.

This new guy has a potential, yes just a potential, to be as fantastic as the first guy IF his INTENTION is good. I must warn you though that 9 out of 10 men, regardless of what they say or promise, would just want to eat your ponmon and move on. Use your head, not your heart.

Leave your fiancé and go for the new guy, then come back here after another 5 years to wail. I pray that your fiancé find a new love or pay u back in your own coin.. This is part of the reasons why I am still a bachelor cos sluts ain't loyal

Her's is different. Her's is pure lust.

PastorOsamede:


A relative of mine had this same premonition few months to her wedding but she ignored it and went ahead with the wedding. Today the marriage has fallen apart.

I remember how much I raised my voice like a weeping prophet before the wedding because of some dreadful signs. No one listened.

OP, you may want to postpone the wedding. Also speak with a counsellor as well as someone who can hear GOD clearly. Some steps of faith can be disastrous!

The shame of cancelling a wedding cannot be likened to the myriad of pains you face when a marriage collapses.

I value long term relationships. It took you five years to know the first man you are planning wedding with. Sometimes, you're better off staying with a devil you already know than an angel you're yet to know. So, I'd say if ur differences can be fixed, pls work on fixing it and marry him when you guys think it's right.

Marriage is never a smooth journey anyways; differences are bound to happen through its course. How well you and your spouse can handle it will determine how happy you will end up. It takes maturity and understanding.

Long courtship/dating is not advisable!

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

[size=18pt]
Cancel the wedding. You cannot start a lifelong project like marriage in a half-hearted manner. You are either all in or all out. No in betweens allowed; unless you are just trying a temporary marriage arrangement that will crumple in 6 months.[/size]

SeverusSnape:
Oh Lawd!... Girls of nowadays.

First of all, I'm not married, Nor am I a marriage counsellor. But I'll tell you something. If you know what's good for you, Go ahead with your wedding, for goodness sake, You've been with your man for five years, five solid years; So because one nonentity came around you want to change your mind.

I know, this new guy has more money??... Offers better sex

Oh please!

better sex indeed. Did she mention anything about visiting the new guy let alone sleeping with him? Guys and sex like bread and butter....smh

Squig:
.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

My dear, marriage is for life, Don't make mistake

If yu want a happy marriage, go for the guy that makes you happy.

I rest my case

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

D devil u know is better dan d angel u dnt know.

honestly your situation is very difficult for me to advice you.Read from the comments given and choose the best

*

Pidggin:


Are u a farmer?

lmao

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

If not physically, it's clear that you're cheating on your SO at least emotionally.

Although a strong connection is important in any relationship, you have to understand that no matter whom you marry, you'll fall in and out of love with each other all the time - perhaps even months and years at a time, so it's really his/her TRAITS and the sustainability of the relationship that matter (and by "fall in love" here I mean that lovey-dovey, starry-eyed, pie-in-the-sky feeling plenty of people wrongly tend to classify as a 'forever' feeling when it just plain isn't). And yes, it's also highly likely that you'll each fall in love with others outside your marriage! So? Are are you going to indulge in that chemically-induced heady feeling of 'new love' every time you find the connection wanting? Though, in all honesty, I don't think there's anything wrong in that provided your partner is aware of it and OK with it, but assuming you're in a closed-off and committed monogamous relationship, is that in any way fair to your fiancé? Considering you identified him as being "everything I want in a man", what's so "amazing" about that other one (other than the new feels)? Or are you, more than likely, blinded by him? Lastly, what caused the deep connection between you and your initial "everything I want in a man" - man to fizzle out?

What you do next depends on how you answer these questions and what it is you're truly looking for, but I def don't think you should get married in a month's time. This is more than cold feet! If there was any physicality involved, you should come clean to your fiancé. IMHO, he deserves to know. Although you def deserve some of it depending on what exactly it is you've done, don't let the tedious sea of condemnation in the comments section baffle you as it did me, especially in how they somehow managed to assign gender flaws and indulge in women-bashing regarding this all too common scenario, lol. Many of them are obvious hypocrites and apparently abnormal beings.

Call me a cynic, but I don't think "falling in love" - even in ernest - is all that cataclysmic an event. In fact, I'd categorically say its more abnormal not to. It's more about what you do with it, and/or what you agree should be done with it as a partnership. GL!

My advice to u is to take two of them out ur mind. Your still young and never u think time is runing out on u. Jusa seek the face of God

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

M disappointed to note that a month 2 your wedding u r still talking abt LUST with another guy, which implies that u are not sincere 2 your hubby 2b . My former boss use to say on the day of his wedding he was not in talking terms with his wife,bt now they r happily maried 4 ova 12years! 4 ur own good,cut off from this new guy cos obviously he is a distraction,then focus b4 it will b 2 late!

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

Your case is a very simple one.

What you feel for your hubby to be is the real deal but just passing through a trying phase which is made somewhat complicated by the feelings of initial gragra that you are having for the new guy so snap out of it.

Please read my write up on how to avoid falling into the trap of fake desire a.k.a initial gragra and wishing you a happy married life.

https://www.nairaland.com/2432231/how-avoid-falling-into-trap

Rhea:

[size=18pt]
Cancel the wedding. You cannot start a lifelong project like marriage in a half-hearted manner. You are either all in or all out. No in betweens allowed; unless you are just trying a temporary marriage arrangement that will crumple in 6 months.[/size]

Soro niyen

Whenever a lady specifically is about getting married, devil always send a new man to the lady. That new man is from the pit of hell for destruction. Bewarned.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

You dey crazè

If you get man u go complain, you get man e no wan do wedding you go complain, you get man e wan do wedding you dey complain, you get man e wan do wedding you get issues you dey complain, you get man e wan do wedding you have issues together you don already get anoda man you dey complain. You get man e wan do wedding you have issues together you don already get anoda man and you no wan do the wedding. Haba you no even fear God

This woman you are a demon. Devil will punish you for this wickedness

Op,it is very obvious you are the problem. The new guy is a distraction. so after 5yrs,you want to dump the guy,you will regret it

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?

Did you meet someone amazing and you wanted him but decided to go ahead and marry your spouse?

How do you feel about the marriage now? Do you feel you did the right thing?

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm getting married next month, we've been together for almost 5years. He is the love of my life and I've never doubted my love for him or the fact that I wanted a family with him. He's got everything I want in a man.

The problem is we started having issues about 6 months ago, we stopped talking like before and we are completely disconnected now especially on my end but we're still going ahead with the marriage plan and I still want to marry him.

I met another guy I am really attracted to and we've been talking about a lot. He knows I am having issues with my man and I can't tell him we are planning to get married.

I'm having doubts about my man now, I'm confused, I feel I'll be happier with this new guy, I'm thinking it's lust but it's getting more complicated. Should I go on with the wedding?

Feel free to talk sense into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

tell d new guy d real situation pls, and try to reconnect wit d former one. but if d new guy is better, i wish u success.
u r almost like my babe dat disconnected frm me and ive been begging to come back to me since.

Squig:
@ all, the new guy or my man are not rich, just average guys. I met the new guy when my man and I had an issue and we didn't talk for almost 3 months and I thought that was the end even though we've agreed to marry before then. the wedding issue has been dragging on for a long time and I got fed up. I believe he's scared of losing me that is why he demanded we get married now.

I'm not a bad person or cheat, my man was my first. I just feel this new guy really cares about me and he's optimistic about having me in his life.

PS. the new guy doesn't know we've worked out our differences and we are not dating officially, we just spend a lot of time together and he's talking about getting married.

I have a simple solution - do not marry either. It seems you are marrying the first guy only because you both have been together so so long that you feel its just the right thing to do. You're not married and you're carrying grudges for 3 months. Better to stay single than to regret your decision later.

Tashaamania:

The nonentity might turn out to be Mr. right. I'm just saying..
She shouldn't ignore any signs. Staying with someone for five years isn't a guarantee just as knowing someone couple of months back isn't. Anyone can pretend for any length of time.

OP weigh both options. if need be, take time off the wedding planning, postpone and figure out what you really want. Marriage no be beans especially when you're going into it with doubts, that's alot of pending trouble.

u jux made a tangible comment, pple often times think dt d longer d r/ship d beta d marriage, I jux hope d OP gets to read ur comment. I feel for her cos its nt easy wat she's passing thru nw, jux pray God gives her d wisdom dts all. Marriage no b beans @all.

forget about the new guy, He's just got 20%, where was he before you started your wedding plans? see him as a distraction and that's just what he is. Your fiance is the guy with 80%.

He who let's go of the tail of an animal he's caught in order to catch the head always ends up with . . . nothing.

Platnum1:
Wow. For u to even consider another man I think u shld cancel d wedding cos your fiance deserves a better woman. No offense but it's d plain truth.

I totally agreed with you.

Humanly speaking you should nt be having issue at this point. Five years is no joke, i almost died wen i lost a Five years relationship alas a broken relationship is much better than a broken marriage. Time does nt mean you are the best for each other, the seperation about to happen might be divine to that you dnt regret at the end. This new man too might be the devil's agent to mare your future. My advise is that you seek spiritual advise. Talk to God yourself or let your spiritual fathers knw. Wish you well.

You know, you hit the nail on the head! Sometimes, it's good to cut the red tape and just say it as it is!

Squig, read queenfav's advice carefully and examine yourself!

queenfav:
Its very simple..You are not ready for marriage yet.Being with a guy for 100 years doesn't make you emotionally mature enough to handle the commitment of marriage.This is why I tell my friends I am not ready for marriage now.In your mid 20's you are still stuck up on the mills and boons inspired romantic fantasies of a 'perfect' man somewhere.My advice,call off the wedding.Anyways,I blame bellanaija weddings for making it look like getting married is all about the proposal drama,cute engagement ring and lavish wedding ceremony.Its not my dear..I am single but I can tell you authoritatively that marriage isn't as easy as its cracked up to be.It takes work,a total decision to stick with your partner and guidance from God.just face it,have you asked yourself why you even accepted his proposal?Is it because you have dated for 5 years and its only natural to get married?Or maybe because he is ripe for marriage ie has a job,his own apartment and the whole nine.Personally I don't think you even know the meaning of commitment.Its sticking to a person,through great and not so great times..Be honest,you stopped loving your fiance a very long time ago.If not,chance no go dey to even meet the new guy.I am in a relationship,and I keep just platonic male frnds that I discuss my career with.No time to waste in smiling over a guy saying 'good morning beautiful' and other sweet rubbish to me.Not when I have a committed relationship relationship.You created the allowance in your heart to fall for the new guy.Biko,I repeat you are not ready for marriage.I see you to be a lady who wants fun,experience and the thrill of being with other guys.Please do that if it would hit you with a healthy dose of reality.All this advice will not sink in cos deep down you want to be with the new guy.Even your fiance is tired too..a man that can go a week ..then 3 months without calling you simply doesn't love you!!!That's a fact.Just do what would make you happy.That's what counts.Sometimes you'll win,sometimes you'll lose.But more importantly you'll learn!

There is a 0.5% chance you will find happiness with this new guy leaving a whole 99.5% chance that you will not - which will you go for?
Trust me I've seen it happen over and over and over... I'm not just writing because I want to write; I'm writing from experience. It has happened to countless friends of mine and acquaintances. It happened to me & my spouse when we've dated for 7+ years and planning wedding for that year someone stepped into the picture and almost destroyed what we had. There was a huge disconnect between us but we managed to keep a level head and stayed together even with doubts before and during the wedding. Today, I can assure you, we are the happiest couple you'll ever come across.

Be wise girl, this is the true test of your feelings for your man. If you fail it now you may never find happiness.

Inbox me if you need to talk to some1

Squig:
Did you have doubts about your spouse before your wedding?
e into my head, I need to hear hard truths.

Many people who decide to get married these days don't really understand the word marriage,have you been seeing marriage counselor,marriage is not just saying" Yes I do"you are saying "Yes I do" to lots of thing on that day,your case is simple I will advice you see or talk to a marriage counselor it is what both of you need at this time feel free to Dm me happen to know a specialist on these issues,he's an online specialist and therapist on marriage am sure you will glad at the end of the session

emmyrichie:
Have you opened your legs to the new guy? If yes then cancel the wedding straight away. Your fiance of 5yrs deserves a better woman and not just

Where is your honour?

See JAMB question.

The new guy dey chop am longest tym. Or you think she's about ditching a 5-year relationship and marriage soon for a guy she never knack?

This is partly how 50% of all first born kids belong to another man outside (DNA test findings).

If by chance she gets preggy now and the new guy suddenly runs away, she will now take it to the fiance and marry him. Knowing that considering times & frequency of knacking the new guy, he probably owns it.

Platnum1:
Wow. For u to even consider another man I think u shld cancel d wedding cos your fiance deserves a better woman. No offense but it's d plain truth.

GOD BLESS YOU HERO!