Dear NLers

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me but he was more vibrant emotionally, like he will hug me tight, hold me and look into my eyes, roll his hands over me and kisses me too and sometimes I notice he will be so turn on, just that we have decided we want to wait and sometimes he will say baby i'm so turn on but I can handle it.

Now the issue I have with this one I am dating now is, he will not do any of that, all he does is look at me passionately, and if he must touch me, he will just hold my hands and play with my fingers, he can stare at me the whole day and gist with me, but I have never seen him at the point where he was turn on, whether in his face or actions, he is just there.

I know he is God fearing and can afford not to be turn on, but I am so scared, have slept in his house before, we were just like blood siblings, cook together eat and off he went to his room, no emotions or maybe a kiss to say good night and stuff, it was so neutral I feared he might not like sex or romance at all or maybe he is not all right.

Sometimes I want to bring up gist like, how far did you go with your ex, what is the most naughty thing you have done in a relationship or for love, and he will go like... I came back from work, I didn't have a car then, so I trek all the way to her house to cook for her.

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

How do I get to know all these about him, have starved myself enough of sex to please God, and to be a good girl my mother asked me to be and cannot "CANNOT" and will not be able to stand a slow or bad sex experiences in marriage, the thought of this is driving me crazy

No man wants to fvck u? u need help

I don't know

thats not a good comment to make you know? that was not what i said

donholy28:
No man wants to fvck u? u need help

Bhabe, I get what you saying but you need to decide what you want.. it's a good thing waiting till marriage but don't flog the poor guy if that's what you both agreed na..

Then secondly, the best way- always has been, I wonder why we all get scared- is talk to the guy.. If you considering a life partnership with someone, then no topic is off limit fa. Find a way of talking to him.

Try and kiss him one day and see..

Talk to him about it!.....na serious matter oh.If u guys go out....study his mood and express your fears,do it maturely but with all seriousness. Let him understand how you feel.I won't advocate for premarital sex but then.....no body holy pass.Sis I kind of discovered you aren't thoroughly in love with dis guy....u just referred to him as 'dis one I am dating now'....hmmn it is well

When dey touch problem. When they dont problem.

Guys can never win

Sorry i used that kind of word to describe him, but i love him dearly, he knows it and even as i speak now my heart is beating for him, he just called and i told him i love him to the moon and back

Swissheart:
Talk to him about it!.....na serious matter oh.If u guys go out....study his mood and express your fears,do it maturely but with all seriousness. Let him understand how you feel.I won't advocate for premarital sex but then.....no body holy pass.Sis I kind of discovered you aren't thoroughly in love with dis guy....u just referred to him as 'dis one I am dating now'....hmmn it is well

Gme01:
Bhabe, I get what you saying but you need to decide what you want.. it's a good thing waiting till marriage but don't flog the poor guy if that's what you both agreed na..
Then secondly, the best way- always has been, I wonder why we all get scared- is talk to the guy.. If you considering a life partnership with someone, then no topic is off limit fa. Find a way of talking to him.
Try and kiss him one day and see..

She will come back and say, "I tried to kiss my boyfriend and he went all violent on me"

Just kidding though!

Maybe one hell of a loyal guy and he thinks he is doing you righy by not showing any sexual behavior.

I actually agree with the try and kiss him part.
If you come out too obvious hr may resist and say .. " this is not you"

But Isn't this why they say girls are complicated? You said no to sex or its equivalent and he is following your rules. You saying maybe he has a problem

Whatever the case is you really don't want to have a boring sex life(married or not). Esp when married.

So for your sake pray he is alright

Swissheart:
Talk to him about it!.....na serious matter oh.If u guys go out....study his mood and express your fears,do it maturely but with all seriousness. Let him understand how you feel.I won't advocate for premarital sex but then.....no body holy pass.Sis I kind of discovered you aren't thoroughly in love with dis guy....u just referred to him as 'dis one I am dating now'....hmmn it is well

Talk to him about it

Reaaally doubt it will do you any good.

Some girls self !!!!!! After una don settle for no sex till after marriage na now u dey complain abt una decision. WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW?

Hian.

You want turning on, abi?

Don't start a fire you can't quench. Leave that gentleman alone biko.

---

And I ask, what's your most memorable sex experience, and he replied baby good night, this is not you so don't bring up the fake self, you've been talking too much to your girl friends lately I guess.

That nigga is wise mehn.

robedu:
Sorry i used that kind of word to describe him, but i love him dearly, he knows it and even as i speak now my heart is beating for him, he just called and i told him i love him to the moon and back

hmmmm,so romantic,jes learnt a line there"love him to the moon and back"would try it soon

To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

robedu:
Sorry i used that kind of word to describe him, but i love him dearly, he knows it and even as i speak now my heart is beating for him, he just called and i told him i love him to the moon and back

.....that's alright.I understand how you feel...and you have my best wishes.

prettysassygirl:

hmmmm,so romantic,jes learnt a line there"love him to the moon and back"would try it soon

....yeah....she gave a sweet line there......

donholy28:
No man wants to fvck u? u need help

Must you be Awkwardly Rude??


I seriously don't Get Humans this days!

prettysassygirl:
To the advise part,jes tell him,"guy I wan see your thing,show me if it dey work"so simple,when u see it,he puts it back,no touching.

Nice one......
Lovely advice....

u don't want sex in the relationship so whats d essence of d sex talk and romance.... don't u knw its a punishment to gt him turned on without drilling dat hole..... I like dat bros jare.... him sabi... hey sis, u shouldn't complain... at least he is Kiping to ur agreement.... and sorry to burst ur bubbles sis, that bros is drilling a better hole out dere.. I can swear on it.... don't feel bad abt it, its normal... lolzzz konji na bastard

He is trying to obey your rules.. Maybe u hammered the "no sex " rule to him in a very mean and serious manner!!!

Hehehehe!! Your partner is really a brother in the Lord as in all this jim jim brothers

He has to loosen up a bit, for crying out loud you've got marriage plans.

What are his reasons for acting this way? Are they religion based?
Even if they are, engaging in intimate talks and PDA's ain't a big deal, I mean this is someone you'd spend the rest of your life with and it's only proper you get past the normal brother-sister relationship.
Not like you're asking him to go down all the way, nah!! Just a little show of affection, hugs, pecks, kisses, cuddles does it..

Sister mi! Maybe you gat to find a way to break down those walls of his. Insist on getting a warm hug from him after a meet up, blow a kiss through the phone after a call session, he should reciprocate too. Just find a way to work things around....
Once you achieve this, push no further rather help take things to it's permanent site
Guide him well cos his likes are rare sort of, you only have to work around him a little.
Hope you get your desired results.

Topics like this give me hope. It shows that we still have responsible men out there who ain't in for just sexx and it's likes.
I'd choose a man who's got such mindset over another who's ready to try out different sex positions with you whether or not he's got plans of taking you to the altar.

Ok, now I'm confused..you don't want to have sex & yet you want him to be turned on. What for? He knows he won't be getting some, so maybe that's why he is avoiding sexual conversations & too much physical contact. It seems you're deriving pleasure, a kick or maybe an ego boost knowing they desire you. Let the guy be. Why must he torture himself to prove his virility to you when you're not even going to do anything about it. Tell you what, I guess you'll know the answer to that on your wedding night How about that? Mnxm.

I was getting more annoyed as I was reading your epistle. You are an adult who took a decision and now, you are being tossed about because of ur fear of his 's e x u a l status'. My points are:
1. Discuss with him if he thinks he can perform
2. Dont feel shy about the talk of his ability to satisfy u
3. Accept any thing he tells u [from his answer,u may know if he is honest]
4. If u doubt him, u should break d agreement between u and him by having a taste of d apple (which is not good)
5. If u ask him to 'show u his thing' as someone said initially, it is d same offence as doing d main act. Hugging romantically and kissing is a sin if u want to abstain totally.
Talking to a colleague, giraffing, borrowing a pen during exam, carrying a text book into the hall etc are ALL PROHIBITED during an examination. Don't indulge in any act that can arouse both of u. Na sin o

Op are u a virgin??

If NO, I c no reason y u would propose no sex till marriage


A girl once told me this, I felt like slapping her dat day!
Imagine I know er ex and dis guy has destroyed d hole


If u r not a virgin just park well


And if u r a virgin..
#my advice..

I think d guy is very smart, if I'm right, he's playing his cards right..
He knows u will get bothered and would want to know aw good he will be on bed..
He will definitely get u!
NB: am not sure ooo

And I still wonder y u r bothered

U made ur fu*king p*ssy so scarce for them stupid men u gat, now u are here moaning like a f*cking cunt u are. U gonna get married to a batti boy n u gonna have d worst sex live ever..... Waste man!

Na only God go fit help Nigerian girls. If to say the dude dey try to sex you, you for dey talk for your mind say all men want sex, now you don meet man wey dey emotionally matured you dey want to corrupt him mind with sexuality talk. op fear God o, fear God.

you folks are starting to look scary.

I am in a no sex relationship with this amazing young man, he is cool and has everything I wanted in a man.

Apart from him, have always been in a no sex relationship, the last man I dated, who died in the ill fated Dana Air crash was also in a no sex relationship with me

i wonder why you included this "piece of information" which has nothing to do with your thread or the rest of your post.

did somebody ask?

Hope!!! You don sabi things welu-welu. OP, weldone o, seduce him but dont complain when the 'banging' starts. Nonsense!!!

Luckygurl:
Hehehehe!! Your partner is really a brother in the Lord as in all this jim jim brothers

He has to loosen up a bit, for crying out loud you've got marriage plans.

What are his reasons for acting this way? Are they religion based?
Even if they are, engaging in intimate talks and PDA's ain't a big deal, I mean this is someone you'd spend the rest of your life with and it's only proper you get past the normal brother-sister relationship.
Not like you're asking him to go down all the way, nah!! Just a little show of affection, hugs, pecks, kisses, cuddles does it..

Sister mi! Maybe you gat to find a way to break down those walls of his. Insist on getting a warm hug from him after a meet up, blow a kiss through the phone after a call session, he should reciprocate too. Just find a way to work things around....
Once you achieve this, push no further rather help take things to it's permanent site
Guide him well cos his likes are rare sort of, you only have to work around him a little.
Hope you get your desired results.

Topics like this give me hope. It shows that we still have responsible men out there who ain't in for just sexx and it's likes.
I'd choose a man who's got such mindset over another who's ready to try out different sex positions with you whether or not he's got plans of taking you to the altar.

Toks2008
What's your take on this issue?

in a relationship a guy wants sex y'all would say he is after your body, now a guy wants to abstain. and you still complaining,. shoo



wetin man pikin go do for onna

nerodenero:
Hope!!! You don sabi things. Standing at akimbo, nodding my head and watching with keen interest

OMG!!
*facepalm*
What I do nah

Don't tempt him