Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 5:50pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
LOClass: ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png)
This heart does not want future pain. Thanks but no thanks You make it sound like I was offering something. |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 5:51pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
MsGlobalwonder: it seems a chord was struck.. re u in d same shoes with op's husband? So u can't get the lesson right? Issorai ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Lol. No I am not. and the only lesson here is, nobody is perfect. reporting your husband to online folks, most of whom have a disjointed life and only love reading the lurid in somebody else's life isn't a good option. I guess what am trying to say is that her marriage is still salvageable. she herself said her husband is loving and caring. am sure you are married ma'am, is your husband perfect? No. So why not post his faults here So that we all can learn too... I'll bet you won't. 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by stonecoldcafe: 5:54pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
Ioannes:
How does posting this on Nairaland help your marriage weather the storm? instead of you to post your problems to God you are posting it here, were you told that God visits Nairaland ni? Do u know her personally? Y are u so pained? We are here to learn from her mistakes. Don't encourage the culture of slowly dying. Let her speak! 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 5:56pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) BoboYekini: You make it sound like I was offering something. Yes, an advice. |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by wristbangle: 6:02pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by mayreeh215: 6:04pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
Sweetie it will be well... don't give up and I have definitely learnt a thing or two |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 6:14pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
stonecoldcafe:
Do u know her personally? Y are u so pained? We are here to learn from her mistakes. Don't encourage the culture of slowly dying. Let her speak! OK o. I hear all of una. I Hope you too will post your spouse's faults and failings and mistakes here make we all learn. am not pained and didn't mean to come across that way, was just trying to advice her. 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 6:17pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
goldenruby: Hmmmmm. Looks to me like there's really no rule that governs the marriage institution. Well for me, A man's physical Beauty is absolutely irrelevant! Give me a 'gorilla-looking' man if he's got the most handsome heart and ready to lay down for his family, I'd be ready to compliment his looks but at least e go fine small...no go marry gorilla ooo... ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 6:20pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
This is something every guy should never try..never expect your babe during courtship to make provisions for stuff or depend on her for money...it shows the height of irresponsibility and that you might not be man enough to cater for the needs of your wife and kids..always have a default mind set that your wife would never work and that the sole responsibility of taking care of family needs rests on you..with that no time would a man ever act lazy towards his family... |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by kaboninc(m): 6:30pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
Ioannes:
How does posting this on Nairaland help your marriage weather the storm? instead of you to post your problems to God you are posting it here, were you told God visits Nairaland ni? Loool ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) Where does God visits if not Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? Very funny 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Abbey2sam(m): 6:35pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
bisifoundation: I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.
My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.
I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.
This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.
It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.
My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.
Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.
To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision. if everything you wrote here is correct,you're anything but lazy you're a very strong woman (in short you're a supper woman ) any man you should be proud of you and should be proud to have you as a wife |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Japhetbryan: 6:37pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
U late die....... |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by matingo(f): 7:16pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
Hmmmmmm, marriage is indeed another institution. No matter how well you know your spouse, living together makes you discover new things. Marriage takes a lot of patience, tolerance and per severance. Experience is truly the best teacher. I understand the op so well that I know that all she wants from the husband is for him to show a little bit of care, love and understanding but instead he nags and calls her lazy. Most times spending all the time is not the most painful part but not being appreciated. May God help all married women and also give the intending the wisdom to choose aright. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Tonytonex(m): 7:27pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
I love u and this post.God bless u |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:32pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
matingo: Hmmmmmm, marriage is indeed another institution. No matter how well you know your spouse, living together makes you discover new things. Marriage takes a lot of patience, tolerance and per severance. Experience is truly the best teacher. I understand the op so well that I know that all she wants from the husband is for him to show a little bit of care, love and understanding but instead he nags and calls her lazy. Most times spending all the time is not the most painful part but not being appreciated. May God help all married women and also give the intending the wisdom to choose aright. Married men and the ones intending to get married nko? ![sad](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/sad.png) 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:32pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
matingo: Hmmmmmm, marriage is indeed another institution. No matter how well you know your spouse, living together makes you discover new things. Marriage takes a lot of patience, tolerance and per severance. Experience is truly the best teacher. I understand the op so well that I know that all she wants from the husband is for him to show a little bit of care, love and understanding but instead he nags and calls her lazy. Most times spending all the time is not the most painful part but not being appreciated. May God help all married women and also give the intending the wisdom to choose aright. @bolded, Married men and the ones intending to get married nko? ![sad](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/sad.png) 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:32pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
matingo: Hmmmmmm, marriage is indeed another institution. No matter how well you know your spouse, living together makes you discover new things. Marriage takes a lot of patience, tolerance and per severance. Experience is truly the best teacher. I understand the op so well that I know that all she wants from the husband is for him to show a little bit of care, love and understanding but instead he nags and calls her lazy. Most times spending all the time is not the most painful part but not being appreciated. May God help all married women and also give the intending the wisdom to choose aright. A plate of suya and jollof rice is arriving momentarily. ![kiss](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/kiss.gif) 1 Like |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Nobody: 7:32pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
I can't be gay but I never liked the yellow or fine folks. I don't begrudge them their attributes, but I don't like the way they carry themselves owing to the attentions they get.
The attentions makes them very lazy, loose, greedy, superior, segregating, wicked etc.
To hell with em fine folks |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Rushna(f): 7:33pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
MrsChima:
I know of some women who are married to ugly men that are great husbands and fathers. Good characters are more important than good looks.
Unfortunately, some women don't get it. u are right..... I pray it's nt too late for us to understand cos beauty is nothing to me, I nid a true, pure and sincere heart...... |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:33pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
francizy:
Married men and the ones intending to get married nko? ![sad](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/sad.png) Look at this Igbo. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:33pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:34pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
udordike: I can't be gay but I never liked the yellow or fine folks. I don't begrudge them their attributes, but I don't like the way they carry themselves owing to the attentions they get.
The attentions makes them very lazy, loose, greedy, superior, segregating, wicked etc.
To hell with em fine folks You be worwor? |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:35pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
MrsChima:
Look at this Igbo. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Look at the Ghanian Toto.. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by tpiander: 7:36pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
Rushna: u are right..... I pray it's nt too late for us to understand cos beauty is nothing to me, I nid a true, pure and sincere heart...... who is looking for husband here? all this rigmarole you folks are spewing is obviously for that. i guess some rich dude with not so handsome looks is browsing the forum. Hope it's not a Nigerian politician looking to spend the national cake on some make up expert? ![](/faces/huh.png) |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:36pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:38pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by 001bumsa: 7:46pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
bisifoundation: I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.
My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.
I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.
This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.
It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.
My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.
Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.
To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision. wow, this is my story. when I started reading, my thought was who among my friends posted this. But I guess it's just a similar story. God is our strength. |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:48pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
francizy:
If not Ghana, then where you from?? ![](/faces/huh.png) Not Ghana! |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:51pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by Rushna(f): 7:52pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
tpiander:
who is looking for husband here?
all this rigmarole you folks are spewing is obviously for that.
i guess some rich dude with not so handsome looks is browsing the forum.
Hope it's not a Nigerian politician looking to spend the national cake on some make up expert? ![](/faces/huh.png) u are indeed funny....... I comment my reserve.........!!!!!!!!! |
Re: Lessons From My Marriage by MrsChima(f): 7:54pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
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Re: Lessons From My Marriage by francizy(m): 7:59pm On Sep 20, 2015 |
MrsChima:
This Igbo love-vendor. Muhahahahaha!!! Why did you change the bolded from "pímp" to "love-vendor"?? Oh, it was NL that did that.. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Yeye Femi-niece... ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |