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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: (3442 Views)
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:::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Talk2SeaL: 8:29am On Sep 22, 2015 |
I'm a 23 year old lady. I met a 29years old banker March 2012, he asked me out and after about 3 months I accepted his love proposal because he was really on my neck. I eventually fell in love with him and he dis flowered me. His parent rejected me cos of my state of origin (Ogun state), he's from osun state. He stood by me trying to convince his parents. Few... .... months to end of 2013, I got pregnant. I informed him about the news and he was so happy, his immediate sister got to know about the pregnancy when she saw the result in my room. In a nutshell, She told their mother about it and his mother invited me to her house and told me to have an abortion, telling me i must not tell her son what we discussed. I told my... ... BF about what his mother told me to do and he insisted that I should keep the baby. My Bf and his parents fought about the issue of me having an abortion, later on it was settled and a mini introduction was done between my family and his. My father rejected the wedding suggestions because he was very mad at me. Few weeks after the introduction, my BF started giving me... ... attitudes. I fell sick (first transmitted sickness), so I went to his place (another town in osun state) he sent me out in the rain back to school while I was sick because he wants to bring in a girl. He was even asking another girl if she misses him or not in my presence, he cheats on me and uses abusive words to describe me. I talked it out with him about the things... ... he's been doing to hurt my feelings, he always say that he is an african man. Whoever I tell the story will always be on his side because he is a man and he can cheat me but I can't (making me regret why I came to world been a girl not a boy). One day, I was frustrated with his acts and went to his parents to report him. Surprisingly, his parents said I was too... ... jealous, without talking some sense into his head. I made a decision that no matter what happens I'll keep things to myself and pretend as if I don't care even if it kills me inside. At the 7th month of my pregnancy my school went on strike, I was with him and I made sure he gets EVERYTHING a man wants from his wife. Most times I will cook and he won't eat... ... until I kneel down and beg him with food before he eats. A month to my due date, we resumed for exams, he insisted I stay with his parent so that they can take care of me. I gave birth to a baby boy a week after my exams in April 2014, the following month, I was suppose to start my SIWES program which I submitted to... ... UCH in Ibadan, I had to switch to LAUTECH teaching hospital in osogbo cos I just put to bed. I stayed with his parents throughout the four months program (SIWES) and he never supported me. Thank God for my parents. I don't feel anything for him again (love nor care); another school session came no support from him again. Last month, I don't know... ... what his parent told him about me, he came home to beat me in the presence of my one year old boy(have never for once cheated on him or abuse his parents) I don't know the cause of his action. He always feel insecure whenever am chatting with any of his friends. Last week, I was in my room praying, his... ... mother came in and she found out that I was praying and went back to her room. Surprisingly, she started giving attitude, if I want to help her do laundry or anything she would say I should leave it. 2 days later my baby father stopped calling till now, I tried calling him but he won't pick up. I know his reaction again was... ... something his mother might have told him. Now have apologized to his mother even though I know I didn't offend her yet he's not calling not even to ask of his baby nor ask me how my exams went. I'm tired of his attitude and am thinking of leaving him for good but am scared of my baby's future. I intend to go to my parents... ....house to inform them about moving out then I will find a job and get an apartment cuz presently i can't afford one but am sure I will eventually. I'm broken and I need help. Please I need your opinion or advise on this. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by RobinHez(m): 8:34am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by McCarlito(m): 8:39am On Sep 22, 2015 |
That is what u get for rushing to get pregnant and marrying without proper background check on the guy; now he beats u; cheats on u; u beg him to eat; etc.... Babe.... No one ate their cakes and still got it 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by freecocoa(f): 8:49am On Sep 22, 2015 |
OP at this point, I can't really think of anything else but you leaving that man, he obviously doesn't give a hoot about you no more, just try and get a job like you said and talk to your folks, the deed's been done, no gain crying over spilt milk, but why should you be begging a man that treats you as trash to start with? You have to love yourself to the point you won't take less than you deserve, you set the tone for how people should treat you. I am a lady and I'd want to be a lady a million lives again, true, we find ourselves in this world the way it operates but you can set your own rules and live by them, no point in regretting. 7 Likes |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Mustack: 8:51am On Sep 22, 2015 |
I hate to see faithful woman bean cheat by unfaithful man... I feel.like killing him... You need to talk your parent the know the reason why they were angry with you at first... Also they're still the person to solve the situation either by talking to your baby father or taking a walk out of his miserable life.. I will employ I to take your baby out of there stupid home because they will make that innocent boy to hate you... This are some factors why I decided to stay single for now because I haven't balance my.book yet.. My dear I wish you all the very beat with your choice of option. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Segadem(m): 8:52am On Sep 22, 2015 |
op, is this your story or are u writing this on behalf of someone? But if u claim this is your story, how do u want ppl to believe u when ur moniker sign shows that u are a man. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Talk2SeaL: 8:54am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Segadem:Not my Story |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Tallesty1(m): 8:56am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Women have always been and will always be their own worst enemy. Though, I blame your man for not being man enough to stand up for who he loves but his mom is the cause of the whole problem. BTW, that's no reason to regret being a woman, some have worst stories yet they are alive and happy. Get him behind you and look something to do, soon he will relealize his mistake but it will be too late. Don't cry when you lose someone that you love, rather pity them cause they just lost someone that loves them. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Segadem(m): 8:57am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Talk2SeaL:OK ,good |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by fr3do(m): 9:05am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Marry an Igbo man from a proper background and have peace of mind. But na wa o! Who requests for the abortion of their grandchild? 6 Likes |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Papasmal(m): 9:07am On Sep 22, 2015 |
I think u need a break from that marriage and move on with ur life,never allow it to weigh u down....because if u are too adamant and wanna stay in the marriage by force they can kill u because it is obvious they don't want u again. Bt believe me a day will come that man will come on his kneels begging u to come back to his life...If truly u have been just and sincere with him. Almighty God who made u a female has a reason for it and he never does mistake...A lot of women/ladies have endure d worst of this kind of travail yet they don't blaspheme bt gives thanks to Jah. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by KanwuliaJara: 9:12am On Sep 22, 2015 |
In this day and age, women are still careless about their REPRODUCTIVE health even WHEN FACED WITH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES? Talk about poor choices! 1. You dey school go carry belle? I don't think being a boy instead of a girl would have helped you much. No hope for people like YOU with your inability to use "common sense"! Good luck! 8 Likes |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Alvanify(m): 9:29am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Always pray with these two Bible verse, psalm 35,and 91. They have seen your glory,they want to subdue and reduce you to their standard. And you have a right to quit if it has reach the level of domestic violence it's a choice to be happy, it's a choice to live,it's a choice to say Yes i want this or no i don't want this. Make sure you achieve and come out successful in that career you have chosen,for everything you will need or be will depend on that. Be very smart until you are made,good luck. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Kimoni: 9:30am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Talk2SeaL: Whose story? |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by KanwuliaJara: 9:35am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by jashar(f): 9:38am On Sep 22, 2015 |
A major disadvantage of pre-marital sex; stories that touch. Ladies should realise that in this world, we are at the receiving end. The consequences of a combined action is manifested in one. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by freecocoa(f): 9:44am On Sep 22, 2015 |
[quote author=jashar post=38259664][/quote]It has little to do with pre marital sex and more with self awareness and common sense. Some ladies have been having sex since they became of age and have never been in such predicament. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Nobody: 9:48am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Mcthweeeeeeeeeeeeew! |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by IBBM(f): 9:56am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Abusive relationship is a huge no no for me. I advise you focus on your baby and career for now! Don't allow them to mess your life up. you are still young and future is very bright, just Find ways to improve yourself, career etc . I'm sure he will come back later begging. Pray also, for prayer is key to every successful marriage. Goodluck. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Nobody: 10:08am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by gidjah(m): 10:19am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Since the story does not belong originally to the op,i wont bother ma sef with some golden advice,rather keep 'em to ma self 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Talk2SeaL: 10:44am On Sep 22, 2015 |
gidjah:MarvellousGod, Kimoni, KanwuliaJara. Assuming this is the story of ur life, will u be glad if i publicise ur real identity? If u don't av a reasonable advice to give why not read n pass.... #WiseUpFellas |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by KanwuliaJara: 10:51am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Talk2SeaL: I know MOST of you sleep on NL to ope "dummy threads" and set up like some 100 IDs to reply yourselves. All na "employment" abi? Even the VAJIN for for BIBLE na OGBONGE DUNCE! Open NYANSH and borning for any MAD REPTILES with leaking blokos abi? |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Nobody: 11:05am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Just because you have a baby with a man does not mean you should marry him. The man has issues, his family is weird carry your child,go to your parents. You can come to a reasonable agreement on joint custody of the child but the way i see it is to drop him quickly you need to be in a good space mentally so you can be a good parent to your child. I hope all the prayers directed to God is for yourself because you need it. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Richy4(m): 11:53am On Sep 22, 2015 |
Hmmmmm mm did this kind of thing really happened? Did a graduate just threw herself to a man like a worthless piece of garbage just to answer Mrs? This man must be extremely handsome like the proverbial greekgod for her to allow him treat her with such disrespect. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Stillfire: 1:10pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
freecocoa: Na real something else. |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Nobody: 1:39pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
In as much as your story is trumped up and doesn't coincide with the gender near your moniker: I swear, me too. I just don't like having a difficult life and being a female is difficult. Annoys me. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Missmossy(f): 1:53pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
Too bad!!! He beats you, cheats in your presence. What else is she waiting for? She should flee from such a man biko. 4 Likes |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by gidjah(m): 1:59pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
Could you pls relate properly, my reponse to the quote you just made? Talk2SeaL: |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by Nobody: 3:16pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
freecocoa: No need to wonder further. As a yoruba man I can tell you with authority that it is a true sentiment. Hope you feel better now that I've struck out your myopic bigotry by confirming me and fellow yoruba men do change for the worse after marriage. 1 Like |
Re: :::::::: : I Regret Coming To This World As A Girl & Not A Boy ::: by MMotimo: 3:36pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
The one important thing your story is missing is where you both agreed to have kids out of wedlock. Yes, I get that you were in love however he should have put a ring on it first. Maybe I'm just oldfashioned but how can you get pregnant without a ring on your finger? And without a job? That is self inflicted accelerated devaluation 101. Hopefully, more young women can learn from your story and I hope you'll get some advice on the way forward from other Posters. The only thing I understand is "prevention is better than cure" but that won't help you now. Being a boy or girl has nothing to do with it, there are many girls out there who are not in this situation. Talk2SeaL: . . . . so the OP is male. Let me leave my post sha for those that may learn a thing or two |
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