@Thread, I have some quedtions:

Do seperated /divorced couples have only female children?

Are we saying a wife rather stays with a cheat or abuser than leave so that her daughters are not stigmatized in future?

Are we saying everyone who grows up in an 'unbroken' family makes Good wives? Nevermind What type of home it was.

Why don't men consider this when they break up with cheating wives? (we know men are prone to divorce cheating wives than vice versa)

Thanks in advance

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

Well....its good u said most but I still object.I've met quite a number of ppl from broken homes who are opposite of wat u just described...cos the know first hand the effects a broken home can have on a child...they're determined to make theirs work cos dy don't want dr kids to pass tru what they passed tru...nd about parents teaching them or not...a lot of ppl learn nd develop character even outside the home...bottom line is dt u need to take time to understand the values of whoever u wanna marry nd wat principles the person stands for,either from a broken home or not..i used to tel guys especially take care of the values of the woman u wanna marry cos she's gonna instill those same values in ur kids nd no matter how hard u try,u rarely can make dem go against wat dr mama tot dem....

BISIXCLUSIVE:
Please your candid advice needed. No insult

Hmmm op I wanna be candid with you. Children(male or female) from broken homes need lots of love b4 they can enjoy or be enjoyed in a relationship and they have the societal standard to contend with. By societal standard I mean the "its a mans duty to love always and a woman to be a recipient of love always OR its a woman's duty to show emotions and a man should always be hardminded". Its not always so.

Its only a person who's from a united home and has a stable emotion that can achieve that..not everybody. Like I always say, life is in twos. Its d side of d coin that life turns to you that you'll know and that's d side people think everybody knows 4getting that other people have a differnt view entirely. That's why its not good to compare one's relationship with others.

Joyce meyer was violated and disvirgined by her father who also maltreated her mother. She grew up hating men until she met her hubby who broke the so called societal norm and showed emotional love. In d case of a man, he won't even see why a woman should be loved but rather see her as liability who collects always and never give or add value to his life.

In my own case, my mum who is originally a choleric and rigid woman(popularly known as iron lady) always poisoned my mind about my dad. She dislikes men and she doesn't hide it. Infact men give her her space to avoid embarrassment but unfortunately me her only child is a man. She even said openly that she wished I wasn't a male child. I had a tough childhood under her..maltreats and flogs me naked to blood point and sometimes send me to bed at night without dinner. Abuses me and my father(who's nt in d home) on any little mistake I made and raised me with a perfectionist standard. But my dad on d contrary would say he gave her her space cus of her domineering nature. That's to mention a few by the way.

It took me a long time to appreciate women to the level I do now. To be frank I still need a lot of love to cope in marriage cus I can't give the love I don't have.

But I've learnt to enliven myself that inspite of the excessive demanding nature of a woman I will find my own woman who will desire to love me more.

So my dear, there's hope for children from broken homes. Just pray to find ur own man or woman. I'm talking of marriage level. There will certainly be problems for just bf/gf cases cuz most of them are young immature and don't understand ur situation.

Sparkles003:
kini big deal.
not her fault the separated or divorced.
they are even the best to get married to especially the spiritually grounded ones they give all to their married so as no to be labeled
like daughter like mother or father

Good Answer

was it he/she's fault dat his/her parent separated see talk ooo ova 60% ve broken homes/separated or divorced

lezz:
A lady who walks away from her first marriage is 90% likely to do so again in her second.

NO ! DEPENDS ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF SURROUNDING THE SEPERATION.

At your own RISK

BISIXCLUSIVE:
Please your candid advice needed. No insult

DEPENDS ON THE AGE THE KIDS WERE WHEN THE PARENTS GOT SEPERATED OR DIVORCED.WHAT IF THE PARENTS GOT DIVORCED WHEN THE KIDS WERE IN LATE TEENS OR EARLY 20'S CANT AFFECT ATTITUDES OF KIDS AS THEY ARE MATURED AND CHARATRS HAVE BEEN BUILT ALRREADY

I Grew Up In A Broken Home, But It Shaped Me And I’m Blessed For It.. tough though... sometimes, i see my friends talking to their moms, laughing and sharing good moments.. it seems kinda strange to me.. i always be like why u dey tell ur momc/popc about ur love life, etc i envy them sha, cos i never had such priviledge.. it affected me and my siblings emotionally.. thats why i have a different view about marriage/married life, etc..
i can also marry someone from a broken home, cos we go understand our feelings better..

My parents got divorced when I was in sec schl. It was pretty tough growing up without my mum in d house. The experience made me a very strong woman. I got married early and I promised myself that I will make it work no matter the situation. My marriage will be 7yrs dis year by God's grace. My friends that av their parents living together got married and most of them are out of it. Its not by coming from a broken home. Its an individual decision. Just pray to God for a wonderful partner.

flokii:


I sense you are from a broken home and scared of how your man will take it right?

it wasn't ur choice or fault.. so why not

if it's d lady from a broken home that will give me rest of mind.. I'll marry her

And for d record... such ladies are usually well mannered and trustworthy contrary to what pple belief

cool story... @bolded, its as if u re playing my script... no matter how i try to please them, they keep saying the love is not enough..

JudgementHammer:

Hmmm op I wanna be candid with you. Children(male or female) from broken homes need lots of love b4 they can enjoy or be enjoyed in a relationship and they have the societal standard to contend with. By societal standard I mean the "its a mans duty to love always and a woman to be a recipient of love always OR its a woman's duty to show emotions and a man should always be hardminded". Its not always so.

Its only a person who's from a united home and has a stable emotion that can achieve that..not everybody. Like I always say, life is in twos. Its d side of d coin that life turns to you that you'll know and that's d side people think everybody knows 4getting that other people have a differnt view entirely. That's why its not good to compare one's relationship with others.

Joyce meyer was violated and disvirgined by her father who also maltreated her mother. She grew up hating men until she met her hubby who broke the so called societal norm and showed emotional love. In d case of a man, he won't even see why a woman should be loved but rather see her as liability who collects always and never give or add value to his life.

In my own case, my mum who is originally a choleric and rigid woman(popularly known as iron lady) always poisoned my mind about my dad. She dislikes men and she doesn't hide it. Infact men give her her space to avoid embarrassment but unfortunately me her only child is a man. She even said openly that she wished I wasn't a male child. I had a tough childhood under her..maltreats and flogs me naked to blood point and sometimes send me to bed at night without dinner. Abuses me and my father(who's nt in d home) on any little mistake I made and raised me with a perfectionist standard. But my dad on d contrary would say he gave her her space cus of her domineering nature. That's to mention a few by the way.

It took me a long time to appreciate women to the level I do now. To be frank I still need a lot of love to cope in marriage cus I can't give the love I don't have.

But I've learnt to enliven myself that inspite of the excessive demanding nature of a woman I will find my own woman who will desire to love me more.

So my dear, there's hope for children from broken homes. Just pray to find ur own man or woman. I'm talking of marriage level. There will certainly be problems for just bf/gf cases cuz most of them are young immature and don't understand ur situation.

Lemme ask this question. I need a response please.


Is it possible for a man and a woman from different broken homes respectively to get married or fall in love?

If they both grew up without their fathers but under their mothers care.

sorextee:
I Grew Up In A Broken Home, But It Shaped Me And I’m Blessed For It.. tough though... sometimes, i see my friends talking to their moms, laughing and sharing good moments.. it seems kinda strange to me.. i always be like why u dey tell ur momc/popc about ur love life, etc i envy them sha, cos i never had such priviledge.. it affected me and my siblings emotionally.. thats why i have a different view about marriage/married life, etc..
i can also marry someone from a broken home, cos we go understand our feelings better..

You grew up with your mum or dad?

udmbat:
Lemme ask this question. I need a response please.


Is it possible for a man and a woman from different broken homes respectively to get married or fall in love?

If they both grew up without their fathers but under their mothers care.

I think it a better option cos you both will understand each other being that you're are from same background!

yetseyi:

okay

you know I wont let this go.

Its just that I don't have the stats I am almost certain we have more muslim-Ijebu than christains. You hardly find a purely christain extended family and a sizeable number among the christains were converted.( Ojude-Oba is on saturday I think)

Looool. Though I still need to see ya pics - you are definitely not in the group. You know I will always give you a pass loool.

But really and truly, most naij chics aren't good looking and 99.999% of them have attitude problems. Yes, you'd see a few nice ones from time to time, however, the overwhelming majority of them are basic - yet they don't know how to act lool. Folks talk about travelling to different countries for holz citing beautiful women as one of the reasons...but I don't know anyone who talks about beautiful women when talking about naij. That alone should paint a perfect picture for you. Also, only a naij chic would see a guy somewhere, send folks to go get his number, and still give him that nasty attitude when he rings her...just to prove a point looooooool. My Uncles call them crazy crack head biitches loool.

True. I have got different layers of Muslims in my family as well. Heck, I have got a Muslim name on my BC (stopped using it in College but a few people from my pops side still call me by the name). Anyway, that's why I don't get involved in all the religious crap - I let Arabs and Europeans battle on ideology supremacy and focus on my blackness.

KanwuliaJara:
Na who 'break' the home?
Nor be the MEN?

....i wonder?? And na dem shout "No" pass for here

They will answer you in future

bukatyne:
@Thread, I have some quedtions:

Do seperated /divorced couples have only female children?

Are we saying a wife rather stays with a cheat or abuser than leave so that her daughters are not stigmatized in future?

Are we saying everyone who grows up in an 'unbroken' family makes Good wives? Nevermind What type of home it was.

Why don't men consider this when they break up with cheating wives? (we know men are prone to divorce cheating wives than vice versa)

Thanks in advance

What is wrong with someone from a broken home? Is it the person's fault that day parents are divorced?

The guy never ready for you.. hence the excuse..

irishCream:


I think it a better option cos you both will understand each other being that you're are from same background!

Don't you think the man wouldn't be able to satisfy the woman with the high amount of love she requires since he never learned how to love.

Blade21:
All d ppl saying NO y ? Are de not human beings hmmmm @ op ben from a seperated home doesn't matter de most important thing is de lady involved nd her ideas about marriage not de home she comes from #peace#

Don't worry, when she starts to manifest the traits that led her mum to be kicked out of her father's house you'd know whether it matters. Women are easily bonded to their mother, hence she subliminally teaches her her ways to outwit the husband. Show me your mother and its not far from who you are!

cococandy:
They will answer you in future

Never say never.

The future can be now

udmbat:


Don't you think the man wouldn't be able to satisfy the woman with the high amount of love she requires since he never learned how to love.

I don't think so, remember love isn't always enough to keep a relationship, all that matters is friendship and understanding and these can be easily achieved considering they're both from same background!

Adortem:
I can't. History most times repeat itself.

..the Divorced/Separated parents might most probably come from stables homes with Mum and Dad intact for life, why then are the kids divorced? Has History forgotten to "replicate" itself . People and Situations change and when both parties can't handle their eish, it's best they call it a day.

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

Gerara hier mehn shhi.....no offfeinse.
Many ladies and gents from broken home are very well understood what it means to have a broken family.Hence,they are very careful in choosing a partner because they definitely don't want their future kids to have same harsh experience.
I know of a monogamous family in abuja where the woman is already advising her children the ladies abt what kind of men they should marry and if any problem will erupt in the future in any of their marriages,they shouldn't hesitate to file for a kwik divorce.
And this said woman has for kids to one man but I understood that the father of those girls have no say at all on his children but only as a figure head.
So it never really counts what kind of home a lady or guy came from but his or her general belief in marriage.

irishCream:


I don't think so, remember love isn't always enough to keep a relationship, all that matters is friendship and understanding and these can be easily achieved considering they're both from same background!

I am a victim of this and truly we can't just understand each other at all even after a year together. She desires too much attention which I can't even give myself. Do you have any advice for me?

does it really matter?

udmbat:

I am a victim of this and truly we can't just understand each other at all even after a year together. She desires too much attention which I can't even give myself. Do you have any advice for me?

I think yours is just an individual thing not basically cos you two are from broken homes, everyone loves attention but only when one is insecure and immature at heart that s/he will expect you give 24/7 of your time.

For instance if your workload is time consuming it unreasonable on her part to expect you forfeit your job for her, except you on your part don't give in your best, remember there's something called emotional cheating!

this same question was popped up last month in the midday oasis on cool f.m. call me a show stopper if you like but am just thinking out loud.

Shymm3x:


Looool. Though I still need to see ya pics - you are definitely not in the group. You know I will always give you a pass loool.

But really and truly, most naij chics aren't good looking and 99.999% of them have attitude problems. Yes, you'd see a few nice ones from time to time, however, the overwhelming majority of them are basic - yet they don't know how to act lool. Folks talk about travelling to different countries for holz citing beautiful women as one of the reasons...but I don't know anyone who talks about beautiful women when talking about naij. That alone should paint a perfect picture for you. Also, only a naij chic would see a guy somewhere, send folks to go get his number, and still give him that nasty attitude when he rings her...just to prove a point looooooool. My Uncles call them crazy crack head biitches loool.

True. I have got different layers of Muslims in my family as well. Heck, I have got a Muslim name on my BC (stopped using it in College but a few people from my pops side still call me by the name). Anyway, that'swhy I don't get involved in all the religious crap - I let Arabs and Europeans battle on ideology supremacy and focus on my blackness.

Your stats is amazing but I don't agree with you at all, Kai ladies have suffered ooo, see the way you are describing Nigerian ladies, that's not fair at all. I will still say (as I have always said) you guys need to move with the right set of Ladies and the fake stats you have up there will drop drastically besides the average Nigerian description of beauty is primarily being fair, so for most naija guys as long as you are not "yellow" you are not beautiful.

You know you need to get involved in religion, you were a proper religious Ijebu guy. Shymexx defender. of the black race loool.

Hope you will create a thread for ojude oba this year.

irishCream:


I think yours is just an individual thing not basically cos you two are from broken homes, everyone loves attention but only when one is insecure and immature at heart that s/he will expect you give 24/7 of your time.

For instance if your workload is time consuming it unreasonable on her part to expect you forfeit your job for her, except you on your part don't give in your best, remember there's something called emotional cheating!

That's exactly what she wants. She wants me to give away everything.