I have come across many, and here are few observations....

Those that lived with their mother;

- They pretend to be visiting either dad or mom, but if you find out the truth, it's either they're in another man's house or they are running things somewhere (unto ashawo packaging)

- They see relationship like prison (especially those that the mom is changing men like pad)

- They are not emotionally attached to their man

- They belief in divorce

- They cohabit a lot

- their mom supports their wrong behavior (my friend wanted to marry one, he even went for her introduction, she messed up big time and when he reported her to the mom, the only thing the mom said was to ask my friend... "are you a saint"? few months later my guy dump her because their wahala wa too much and now she is parading churches with my friends' picture.

- They belief marriage is only for having children

- Their demand is endless

- They see any man as their victim

- They are promiscuous (i know one that is married, but has a boyfriend that service her, she even introduced her boyfriend to her mom)

- If they don't undergo strong/serious deliverance, they will end up like their mom

- The corrupt at tender age, because some of them their mom's boyfriend do come and service their mom in their presence
if you are a man and you know that you have a child somewhere, please retrieve that child from the mom as soon as possible


my advice for you is, look for a man from a broken home too, though men from broken homes are 100% better than the women

calabardick

autaspakladi:
There is no need for too much argument here...the lady am dating now is a product of a broken family, initially I was having it in my mind to marry her,but now I have changed my mind,because she cannot cook,the only food she can cook is indomie,and even when she finished cooking she will want to leave the pot and plate for me to wash,except if remaind her,in addition to that,she is very poor hygienically,she doesn't removed her shoe if she wants to enter my kitchen....she is also an incurable liar,....those of you claiming there is nothing wrong with ladies from broken family should rethink...

Well I need to answer you cause I'm really baffled at ur line of judgement...so you're concluding dt this girl is like this cos she's from a broken home..I'm sure if she was a spoilt Senator's daughter spoiling u with money nd had ds same xtics u won't complain o...And are u trying to say dr are no people from 'together' homes who can't do house chores I tell u dr are a gazillion of dem so you just can't tie her not been homely to being from a broken home.


But seriously this thread has made me really know how shallow a lotta ppl think...offcos I'm not saying broken homes can't have psychological or emotional effects on kids..but wat of kids dt have used the negative situation to develop themselves nd made them even better ppl....my point is u can't just meet a lady,get attracted to her for a while nd immediately u find out she's from a broken home..u just take to ur heels,anybody u say u wanna marry u take ur time to know the person nd know if she has the values u think are good enough for raising ur future kids nd base ur decision on dt...neverquit said it all there are a gazillion 'together homes' specially in ds 21st century dt are not healthy nd the kids grow up even worse than those from broken homes so don't let broken or not broken homes be ur criteria else u might just miss ur missing rib..know ur woman's character nd let God lead you...
With this imma gerarahere cos some comments are really amazing me dt ppl in the 21st century can still think like dt. Top of the morning to Y'all.

Shymm3x:


Loool. I don't even count being a lighty as being beautiful (I've a younger cousin from North Ldn who thinks only lighties are good looking and all dark skinned chics are fugly lool - his dad is from Ijebu Ode, ya part of Ijebuland looool)...though a lot of them are. Moreover, most naija lighties are never even good looking...they always make looking light-skinned plain. Perhaps it's cos they're notorious for skin bleaching with Fela Kuti's "yellow fever" symptoms everywhere loool. I prefer my caramel and dark skinned chics with ridiculous bodies.

There are no right set of naij ladies...they're all the same. Let me check my family. My brother is married to a naija chic. Then two of my Uncles married naij women, and both are now separated from their wives. One is having fun, while the other is now with a Sierra Leonean chic...the rest are married to Ghanaians. Even my cousins aren't left out of the equation. Almost all of them are with chics from all kinds of countries, apart from two. The one that married very early at age 23 to a naij chic is now separated from his wife...but he likes his Yoruba chics and he has scooped up a next one. And the one that use to come on this forum is dating some Igbo or some chic from that South South part of naij. Round here, no one has time for naij chics...maybe me, cos I like clowning them loool. Even my boys aren't even into naij chics like that. True story.

Nah, ain't no one got time to defend the black race - that's a lost cause. I just defend myself and my blackness, while talking about my reality as a black man. It's just basically about trying to find what's natural to you as a black person, and not getting involved in other people's battle for supremacy. I already have my plate full as a black man in this white man's world - no time getting involved in other people's nonsense lool.

Hopefully. I'll see if I can get pics on the internet. There's also a next Ijebu group I have on my friend list on a dummy facebook account - I'll check it as well.

@ the Bolded nd all dose stuff u said in ur last post about there being no fine girls in naija...Biko I don't have strength to reply you..remember the song dt says: If you have nothing good to say,say nothing at all

JudgementHammer:

Hmmm op I wanna be candid with you. Children(male or female) from broken homes need lots of love b4 they can enjoy or be enjoyed in a relationship and they have the societal standard to contend with. By societal standard I mean the "its a mans duty to love always and a woman to be a recipient of love always OR its a woman's duty to show emotions and a man should always be hardminded". Its not always so.

Its only a person who's from a united home and has a stable emotion that can achieve that..not everybody. Like I always say, life is in twos. Its d side of d coin that life turns to you that you'll know and that's d side people think everybody knows 4getting that other people have a differnt view entirely. That's why its not good to compare one's relationship with others.

Joyce meyer was violated and disvirgined by her father who also maltreated her mother. She grew up hating men until she met her hubby who broke the so called societal norm and showed emotional love. In d case of a man, he won't even see why a woman should be loved but rather see her as liability who collects always and never give or add value to his life.

In my own case, my mum who is originally a choleric and rigid woman(popularly known as iron lady) always poisoned my mind about my dad. She dislikes men and she doesn't hide it. Infact men give her her space to avoid embarrassment but unfortunately me her only child is a man. She even said openly that she wished I wasn't a male child. I had a tough childhood under her..maltreats and flogs me naked to blood point and sometimes send me to bed at night without dinner. Abuses me and my father(who's nt in d home) on any little mistake I made and raised me with a perfectionist standard. But my dad on d contrary would say he gave her her space cus of her domineering nature. That's to mention a few by the way.

It took me a long time to appreciate women to the level I do now. To be frank I still need a lot of love to cope in marriage cus I can't give the love I don't have.

But I've learnt to enliven myself that inspite of the excessive demanding nature of a woman I will find my own woman who will desire to love me more.

So my dear, there's hope for children from broken homes. Just pray to find ur own man or woman. I'm talking of marriage level. There will certainly be problems for just bf/gf cases cuz most of them are young immature and don't understand ur situation.

Your mum told you bad things about men, thank God you didn't take that into your brain, I am from a broken home too but I really appreciate my mum, She never said anything bad about my Dad, She's a teacher and i have to say there are some mums that will also do same. So coming from a broken home should not be the problem of the children, you think they like that fact. Reading all these comments totally broke my heart cuz its just called discrimination. Is this really what people think about us?

BISIXCLUSIVE:
Please your candid advice needed. No insult

Absolutely not. Why, when there are millions of Ladies from loving homes.

TooNoisy:


Marriage itself is very discriminatory. If as a young lady, I have about 100,000 men that could potentially be a partner and I had to choose only one, then I will discriminate a whole lot. You will have to discriminate based on religion, height, weight, looks, character, feelings, culture, education, intelligence, background, etc

If you don't want to discriminate, you can go ahead and marry any man that proposes to you! The act of making one choice among so many potential choices is discriminatory.

typing.............
















EPIC...

Really can't tell if i can marry one, but I dated one and was going to marry her, but guess her reaction to every issue we have - "I'm not interested in the relationship again" or "Let's take a break". She did this like 3 times and I told her that the next time she does, it will be the real last time.

She did and I kept to my words. She begged all she could but my mind was made up. Wisdom told me that she will do the same thing when we get married.

Heaven knows that when I'm in love, nothing can stop me. I hate that divorced crap. Does it mean someone from a broken home will definitely want his/ her marriage to break? No, I don't believe that. These people have passed through emotional setbacks and challenges they would not want their children to experience. I have seen divorced couple whose parents are still living together.

Blade21:
nope staying married is a choice you have to decide dts what you want to do I. Am 4rm a broken home but ma marriage is solid cos I built it on de rite foundation nd. Made a choice not to end like ma parents wit ma hubby love. Nd support we are getting. Dere

You did that against all odds, not saying people should not marry others from broken homes beside there are many others things to conside b4 marriage, but fact remains that it's a risky venture which b4 anybody takes, it has to be worth it.

BISIXCLUSIVE:
Please your candid advice needed. No insult

Why not? The lady is not her parents. Even identical twins are totally different people with different personalities.
Everyone should be held responsible for their own action not for other people's action.

That she came from a broken home doesn't mean she'll break her own family. In fact, it may motivate her to work hard in keeping her own marriage intact. Nobody wants to be in a broken home. Her parents may not have come from broken homes themselves but they still broke theirs. So everything depends on someone's attitude and personality.

So don't hold it against her, it wasn't her fault and it was something beyond her control. I don't think you'll appreciate being linked to your parents misbehavior, if you were in her shoes. Or being blame for a relative who's a thief.

If you think the lady is what you would want in a wife, go for it.

Progress2468:


Madam it's not about been industrious or becoming an important figure in the society, rather mentaining a level head in the institution called marriage
They are totally 2 diff things

oh in marriage, they are blessings to their homes and help to buid up their family.

calabardick:
I have come across many, and here are few observations....

Those that lived with their mother;

- They pretend to be visiting either dad or mom, but if you find out the truth, it's either they're in another man's house or they are running things somewhere (unto ashawo packaging)

- They see relationship like prison (especially those that the mom is changing men like pad)

- They are not emotionally attached to their man

- They belief in divorce

- They cohabit a lot

- their mom supports their wrong behavior (my friend wanted to marry one, he even went for her introduction, she messed up big time and when he reported her to the mom, the only thing the mom said was to ask my friend... "are you a saint"? few months later my guy dump her because their wahala wa too much and now she is parading churches with my friends' picture.

- They belief marriage is only for having children

- Their demand is endless

- They see any man as their victim

- They are promiscuous (i know one that is married, but has a boyfriend that service her, she even introduced her boyfriend to her mom)

- If they don't undergo strong/serious deliverance, they will end up like their mom

- The corrupt at tender age, because some of them their mom's boyfriend do come and service their mom in their presence
if you are a man and you know that you have a child somewhere, please retrieve that child from the mom as soon as possible


my advice for you is, look for a man from a broken home too, though men from broken homes are 100% better than the women

calabardick

How old are u?

queebeediva:
oh in marriage, they are blessings to their homes and help to buid up their family.

You still don't get my point

You must not come from a stable home to be successful in life. But in the case of marriage, your believe system about the institution itself called marriage determines to a large extent how far u'll go, However most parents in broken homes indotrinate their children against their spouse (while the war is on) and this has a strong negative effect in those children.

The fact is it take a great deal of love and determination spiced up with a loving and patience spouse for people from broken homes to make it in Marriage

TooNoisy:


Marriage itself is very discriminatory. If as a young lady, I have about 100,000 men that could potentially be a partner and I had to choose only one, then I will discriminate a whole lot. You will have to discriminate based on religion, height, weight, looks, character, feelings, culture, education, intelligence, background, etc

If you don't want to discriminate, you can go ahead and marry any man that proposes to you! The act of making one choice among so many potential choices is discriminatory.

Very perfect answer.

to Mary from breaking home is not bad if the mother of ur spouse is not alive but she is alive pls is dangerous . Yoruba proverb says Owu Iyagbon Lomo Oran.

Shymm3x:


Nah, I'm not a Nigerian in Diaspora like these village ones - I'm a Nigerian from diaspora. So the experience speaks for itself.

Anyway, chics from broken homes do make great mums but in relationships and maybe as wives (not married so I don't know if they make good wives), they are just too problematic. Only a patient guy who doesn't care about being a dad and a partner at the same time can deal with them. If you don't have that type of patience - it is always better to stay away from them.

Are you from a broken home?

Damn she is. Can't u smell that?

Progress2468:


You still don't get my point

You must not come from a stable home to be successful in life. But in the case of marriage, your believe system about the institution itself called marriage determines to a large extent how far u'll go, However most parents in broken homes indotrinate their children against their spouse (while the war is on) and this has a strong negative effect in those children.

The fact is it take a great deal of love and determination spiced up with a loving and patience spouse for people from broken homes to make it in Marriage

I still disagree whit your point and I understand you well expecially the point where you said most parent indoctrinate their children against their spouse. I have lived and grow up with children from the broken up and to a very large extent they are succesful in the so called marriage institution than even those from a complete home. Like I will still say , they may be too researve due to their upbringing which most people will see them as boring sets of people but when the right heart meets them oh they are so lucky. Again some can be very harsh but offcourse they are smart. Infact children from a complete home divorces a lot because they feel their father's house is always there.

[size=10pt][/size]
No problem, personal experience.... They are more experienced and great in home management, good wife they are and tolerate better, because they don't want their past to repeat it's self.
But note : it's still depend on who u are dealing with, so please marriage is a serious matter, make all ur enquiry... Wish you all the best in your journey

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

and statistics will tell u that most of the break up in the world today occur at the home of children who grew up with there parents. There is no firm criteria for a happy marriage

A broken home is better than an abusive one.



It's better to marry someone raised by a sane single parent.......than one raised in a home where love is dead and violence/abuse abounds.

BISIXCLUSIVE:
Please your candid advice needed. No insult

Technically yes and technically no.

NO ooooooo i dont ever want to do that again and i pray my enemies doesn't fall victim. my ex wife mother inlaw had to leave her hubby cus they had misunderstanding for 2month and got pregnant twice for two different men. my ex wife wanted to do same and i cut out sharply. thank God no kids btw us. our marriage lasted 2months i am now delivered.

queebeediva:
I still disagree whit your point and I understand you well expecially the point where you said most parent indoctrinate their children against their spouse. I have lived and grow up with children from the broken up and to a very large extent they are succesful in the so called marriage institution than even those from a complete home. Like I will still say , they may be too researve due to their upbringing which most people will see them as boring sets of people but when the right heart meets them oh they are so lucky. Again some can be very harsh but offcourse they are smart. Infact children from a complete home divorces a lot because they feel their father's house is always there.

What you should know is that its not how smart or outgoing a person is that matters the most in marriage, its the believe of the person about marriage.

Some men believe when you beat a woman she loves and respects you the more and some women believe that if you don't beat dem you don't love them. Can u imagine?

Most of these believes are gotten from the home

If u have lived with people from a broken home, have you lived with them in their Marriage to know how successful they are as u claim.

I have two frnds from broken homes a guy and a lady. The guy belives that marriage is just a contract that's all, while the lady always tells me "it's a man's world"

Fact is our believe system is shaped by our environment and other factors

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you.

100000000000 likes

Sorry, I tot you are talking about marrying a divorcee....
The only advice my father gave me when I wanted to get married is, don't marry a woman that the mother is not under her fathers roof, marriage has it's ups and down the first person they will run to is their mother, then what advice will she give... The advice that can not keep her in her husband's house.

If u can watch this film u will understand the roles, advice & the position of a mother in marriage, SHORT BRAVE FILM... U can down load it and watch.

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

Simple.

okay now today you've met someone from a broken home without emotional baggage and who doesnt believe in using divorce as an escape. Update your checklist

Shymm3x:


I'm good, sis...and you?

Lmao @ how many people from broken families do I know and have I met.

Well, I know gazillion of them and I'd say I know gazillion of them. Heck, most of the folks I grew up with were from broken homes and if you know how the black family is out here, you'd know that there are more people from broken homes than folks who had their mums and dads in their lives.

Anyway, I agreed with him cos I've been with chics from broken homes and the emotional baggage that comes with them, is just too much pressure.

And you also have the nonsense their mums must have subconsciously instilled in them over time about men cos of their dads. So they always deal with guys based on the image they have in their heads about men. That's just the reality.

TooNoisy:


Marriage itself is very discriminatory. If as a young lady, I have about 100,000 men that could potentially be a partner and I had to choose only one, then I will discriminate a whole lot. You will have to discriminate based on religion, height, weight, looks, character, feelings, culture, education, intelligence, background, etc

If you don't want to discriminate, you can go ahead and marry any man that proposes to you! The act of making one choice among so many potential choices is discriminatory.

Good post

Forwetinnah:


..the Divorced/Separated parents might most probably come from stables homes with Mum and Dad intact for life, why then are the kids divorced? Has History forgotten to "replicate" itself . People and Situations change and when both parties can't handle their eish, it's best they call it a day.

I understand your point,which sometimes happen,however,most kids from a broken home are usually quick to see divorce/separation as an option like you said"call it a day" while kids from a stable home see having a stable home as a norm,they would always fix it cos they've seen their parents always fix their differences. If one is a product of a broken home,before you choose your life partner,pray like your life depends on it,the "God factor" cannot be underestimated,cos it could have just become a curse and history might just repeat itself.

Very daft question, in my view.
I do no care to go through all 11 page s but I am sure some have started attributing it to generational curses.
I dare anyone to use statistics to support their address argument. I hope your sample size is large enough to support your generalization?

Blade21:
lies lies nd lies again. I am 4rm a broken home nd I have a more solid idea abt marriage dan ma hubby sef ur bacvkground ddoesnt define u de choices you make as an individual you have to decide to stay married its a choice

Hmm very true, just like they say and act in the movies right? Well its still fantasies. I'm not against marrying offsprings from such unions, but it is as a warning. They more often than not end up same as their mums cos when faced with similar issues that put their mum in her status, she hardly give them advice to make them persevere in the marriage rather sees nothing wrong in her daughter toeing her footsteps.
Just be patient.

flokii:


I sense you are from a broken home and scared of how your man will take it right?

it wasn't ur choice or fault.. so why not

if it's d lady from a broken home that will give me rest of mind.. I'll marry her

And for d record... such ladies are usually well mannered and trustworthy contrary to what pple belief

Well........ it may be me (I don't need to hide that) and it maybe anyone, broken homes is not for Animals, while divorce too.