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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response (58877 Views)
Dion Osagie Writes Open Letter To Wife, Winifred After Battering Her / Man Fakes His Career For 14 Years To Wife, Goes To Another Woman's House / Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response (2) (3) (4)
Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Greatzeus(m): 9:19am On Sep 25, 2015 |
My Dearest Wife To My Dearest Wife, During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often: We will wake the kids - 54 times It's too late - 15 times I'm too tired - 42 times It's too early - 12 times It's too hot - 18 times Pretending to be asleep - 31 times The neighbors will hear - 9 times Headache or backache - 26 times Sunburn - 10 times Your mother will hear us - 9 times Not in the mood - 21 times Watching the late show - 17 times Too sore - 26 times New hairdo - 6 times Wrong time of the month - 14 times You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we?? Love, Your Hubby ********************** To My Dearest Husband, I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year: Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times Did not come home at all - 36 times Did not come - 21 times Came too soon - 38 times Went soft before you got it in - 19 times Cramps in your leg - 16 times Working too late - 33 times You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?" Love, Your Wife Source: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q1/letter.110.html 133 Likes 24 Shares |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by chocolateme(f): 9:20am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Hahahahahaha!! Some people are so creative eh! The ones that got me cracking my ribz are that of lying still because he missed her as the bed sheet was bearing the consequences and that of choking on his fart ew!! Op nice one. FTC Chocolate cream 33 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by sinaj(f): 9:25am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Pbs4real come nd read diz o! Vaselinecrew Truckpusher 2 Likes |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Daffar: 9:28am On Sep 25, 2015 |
This is what u get when both husband and wife are professors of statistics. 64 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by falconey(m): 9:30am On Sep 25, 2015 |
funny |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Truckpusher(m): 9:32am On Sep 25, 2015 |
sinaj:Stop calling me to come and see these immoral things. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by eipreel(f): 9:35am On Sep 25, 2015 |
That wife must be very smart and intelligent 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by McCarlito(m): 9:43am On Sep 25, 2015 |
There has always been 3 sides to every story..
The Complainant's sides..
The Defendant's sides..
The real truth... Chai!!! The wife's reply was epic 34 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by sinaj(f): 9:47am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Truckpusher:lol the Lord is good 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Greatzeus(m): 10:13am On Sep 25, 2015 |
chocolateme:My favourite part was when she said "The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet" 10 Likes |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by johnlegend01: 10:35am On Sep 25, 2015 |
hmmm |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Bonapart(m): 11:15am On Sep 25, 2015 |
The wife gave lame excuses Ladies been deceiving men since after Adam and Eve 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by okooloyun1(m): 11:15am On Sep 25, 2015 |
This is what you get when couple live together like cat and mouse. |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by emmanuel596(m): 11:15am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Bboked |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by lilmax(m): 11:15am On Sep 25, 2015 |
dies |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Laveda(f): 11:16am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Fesomu(m): 11:16am On Sep 25, 2015 |
which one do u prefer "back or kneel? |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Aminat508(f): 11:16am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Pls check my signature 1 Like |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by oluseyiforjesus(m): 11:16am On Sep 25, 2015 |
. |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Suspect33(m): 11:17am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Hahaha |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Nobody: 11:17am On Sep 25, 2015 |
OK |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by dedons: 11:17am On Sep 25, 2015 |
A yolloba couple i guess... 2 Likes |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by ebengems(m): 11:18am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Hmmm...some stupid things we do on the process of love making! that reminds me my last bleep. She was on her knees and i was giving her doggy style. it was so hot, rough and pleasurable to both of us, not until she farted and i started gasping for air Do you want to learn AutoCAD on your own? check my signature 1 Like |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Viktor1983(m): 11:18am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Nobody: 11:19am On Sep 25, 2015 |
. |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Nobody: 11:19am On Sep 25, 2015 |
am very certain 90% of d pple dat will comment are d unmarried ones... smh 4u o ....somethins are just meant 4 married folks.. if u agree click like 30 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Mzjacy(f): 11:19am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Hahajajahaha, this is interesting. |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by wasco24: 11:20am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by Chris95(m): 11:20am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Funny couple |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by VickJames(m): 11:20am On Sep 25, 2015 |
Crazy |
Re: Funny Letter Of Husband To Wife About Their Sex Life And Wife's Response by ChappyChase: 11:20am On Sep 25, 2015 |
No no no!! This wife must be probed!? Laugh don kill me oo!!! |
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