Well said.

vizkiz:
just because she's gat good attitude doesn't mean I should marry a vulture

To those guys quoting me to type trash. Na me talk say make una go marry fugly girls abi?

I just typed what I am gonna do mehn, an educated girl is "beauty" she is successful in her business which means she's gat brains

So what else do I need apart from a pretty girl who knows what she truly wants, forget about the manner, she go learn

Make I come go marry illitrate cuz she dey always wash cloth Seems you guys think marriage is all about house chores abi? FOOLS

freecocoa:
Nah! I don't need any safety pin, I am a good judge of character.

How does one live like that?

Its simple dear .
Always have it at the back of your mind that humans are too complex to predict and every person you come across could be your nightmare or your sweetest taboo.

mistabiola:



★★★Bet y ★★★~ ©Mistabiola®

y u jxt dey open tonque 4 all ur posts??

tido77:
I am limping between decisions, I need your piece of advice to buoy my wobbling senses. A well educated lady is in my radar, I like ladies that control grammar very well, in fact I am a sucker for such ladies. This my lady controls grammar so well and she is beautiful, a graduate.

Now, I also have a young lady that comes around, and I observed that they are both different in manners. She is not a graduate, she stopped at secondary school level due to finance problem.

When this not so schooled lady comes around she always notices disorganized things and would arrange them, would notice dirty floor and mop up,wash dirty dishes etc. She would not greet me without bending her left knee slightly to show respect. She is not as beautiful as the educated lady though.

The graduate lady do none of these things, all we do is just gist.

Lately the school cert lady makes me feel the warmth of a caring lady, I am beginning to notice her more.

I am a graduate with tastes, I don't know what I want again, I am confused, somebody advise.

Dude, a ni66a is almost in the same quagmire but somewhat different from yours....I mean, save for the secondary school cert thing. But i'll advice you settle for the educated lady.... She can learn all those things you mentioned. But some ladies do feel they owe you nothing until you put a ring on it. Don't be swayed by the constant cleaning of the house and the fact that she cooks food for you. Marriage is more than that. As a guy, you should be more concerned about marrying a prospect; that will complement you, not a slave who has little or nothing to offer. Not with the current global economic recession.

Truckpusher:
Peeps like me want it all in one package .

Lol you can have it all na. God still gives complete packages to people

I'm still trying to understand why the OP thinks the educated, beautiful girl is ill-mannered. When did cleaning up after a slob () become the new parameter? And why does he think the Angel of Chores is a contender for his ring?

If the niqqah wants a house help he can hire one na. It's better one doesn't use this domestic thing as a yardstick for wife-ing a woman. If you want to judge how homely she is, pay a surprise visit to her home. If she treats her home right then be assured she will do the same with yours.

Truckpusher:
Its simple dear .
Always have it at the back of your mind that humans are too complex to predict and every person you come across could be your nightmare or your sweetest taboo.

I don't have to predict people, I just have to study and deal with them accordingly.

freecocoa:
I don't have to predict people, I just have to study and deal with them accordingly.

You're now seeing yourself as a psychologist abi?

Dem never cook character give you before, Na wey you dun enter - you go see the real guy man.

Truckpusher:
People can fake character though true love will always show her ugly head.

If guy dey die for you , you sef go feel am nau.

Believe me, I can see right through bullshit and I believe everyone can, you just have to pay attention.

The problem no be whether guy dey die for person, na if the guy na the right one or not.

Truckpusher:
You're now seeing yourself as a psychologist abi?

Dem never cook character give you before, Na wey you dun enter - you go see the real guy man.

No be matter of psychologist me dear, na just having your head in the right place.

I don't judge a guy based on how he treats me. How he treats others is what I notice first.

freecocoa:
No be matter of psychologist me dear, na just having your head in the right place.

I don't judge a guy based on how he treats me. How he treats others is what I notice first.

Yeah , you're right but that's not a guarantee that you'll end up having the same treatment from him.

You've also forgotten that he's not romantically involved with those people and there might just be a shift in attitude and character that you didn't notice after all , all your assessments were based on how he treats ordinary folks around him.

jomoh:


Guy manners can never be thought the one you have can only be preserved and maintained. There's no school that teaches manners.

The illiterate however can be trained or sent to school for education.

BTW is it compulsory she gets a formal education? The richest woman in the world Folorunsho Alakija was a tailor before making her money.

Personally I prefer the mannered girl. It could be hard at first but once she's trained to your taste, she would handle the house better than the ill mannered one.

OP didn't tell us if he has actually started dating either of them he just said he has them in sight. Also OP should not conclude that the educated one is ill mannered. Just that you don't expect an educated lady to commit herself to such things until they learn that the relationship is real.

thanks for ur brilliant input, actually, I have not spelt open to either of them that I would like to date. However, we have been friends for like 2years now, they come around and we eat and spend time together. I have been watching them, the graduate will never wash even the dish she ate with, and she parades this air of pride when relating to less educated persons. I want to take time to watch them and I will apply nairaland suggestions combined with prayers in making my final decision. Note? The sec cert lady is not an illiterate, she just didn't get university education.

freecocoa:
Believe me, I can see right through bullshit and I believe everyone can, you just have to pay attention.

The problem no be whether guy dey die for person, na if the guy na the right one or not.

Well, you can also agree with me that if this guy is dying to keep you while his perception towards others are completely not what you would wish for , in this case I think it is important to understand that this is about you and himself and not you, himself and others for the long haul.
We all do see through the bullshiit but sometimes get distracted by some other features and attributes that are rare or simply amazing to ignore an entire package - It's an imperfect world out there.

Truckpusher:
Yeah , you're right but that's not a guarantee that you'll end up having the same treatment from him.

You've also forgotten that he's not romantically involved with those people and there might just be a shift in attitude and character that you didn't notice after all , all your assessments were based on how he treats ordinary folks around him.

Lol, you dull this morning o.

Ofcourse he won't treat me the same as everyone, but how he treats people he isn't romantically involved with, will give me an insight into the real him, the real him is who I want to see first, not the side biased by emotions.

Truckpusher:
Well, you can also agree with me that if this guy is dying to keep you while his perception towards others are completely not what you would wish for , in this case I think it is important to understand that this is about you and himself and not you, himself and others for the long haul.
We all do see through the bullshiit but sometimes get distracted by some other features and attributes that are rare or simply amazing to ignore an entire package - It's an imperfect world out there.

Nah, not for me atleast.

One day I will get on his nerves and that high feeling will fly out the window, how would he treat me then? I know my relationship with him will be a tad different with that of him and others but I don't want it to be that different.

I don't see what other amazing attribute he'll have, that will make me take him, despite the fact that he treats others in ways I completely don't like.

freecocoa:
Lol, you dull this morning o.

Ofcourse he won't treat me the same as everyone, but how he treats people he isn't romantically involved with, will give me an insight into the real him, the real him is who I want to see first, not the side biased by emotions.

Lol, Gerara hia....

tido77:
thanks for ur brilliant input, actually, I have not spelt open to either of them that I would like to date. However, we have been friends for like 2years now, they come around and we eat and spend time together. I have been watching them, the graduate will never wash even the dish she ate with, and she parades this air of pride when relating to less educated persons. I want to take time to watch them and I will apply nairaland suggestions combined with prayers in making my final decision. Note? The sec cert lady is not an illiterate, she just didn't get university education.

Personally I would prefer the schl cert lady just will try and send her through school. At the minimum an ND.

Its obvious the graduate girl has pride in her. Irrespective of if we're dating or not any girl that comes to my house and refuse to wash her dish is a no no for me. You don't expect me to cook for u and still wash d dish for u.

I won't end up with kids looking like Australian chipmunk. Peace!

Most educated people will rather marry someone who is educated like them than marry for happiness.

We (im also educated) seem to bow to societal demands and expectations, as a matter of fact, thats how we live our lives, we do things because of what others might think, putting our joy and peace on the line. Putting it in perspective, We live to impress others.

There is this unspoken education passed from one "enlightened" person to another on marital demands which are usually unchecked but are strictly adhered to even by the so-called christians.

The society teaches the wrong things about marriage, things that are totally irrelevant are given 1st class emphasis, one of them is education. There are others; height, size, social status are others

Education has nothing to do with marriage, regardless of the isolated experiences some people have had, it shouldnt form the basis of our reasoning. Education is viewed wrongly in some quarters, it is about enlightenment and relevance which you can all agree that some people who dont have formal education or certificate can also boast of.

Marriage is about companionship, service, loyalty, love, it has nothing to do with education. Some people dont believe in God and destiny so there is no point talking about both. Marriage should give you happiness, anyone who can give it is marriageable to you regardless of his\her education status. Fellows who are regretting their marriages because of this kind of decision of putting education far ahead would strongly and openly defend it

If the girl can give you happiness, marry her. Marrying the 2nd girl only crossed your mind because of what you think people might say.

The way we take education sometime is apparently appalling. If even among educated people, there is status and supposed quality discrepancy, how much more while dealing with someone who doesnt have formal education, this is not the purpose of education. Its not about destructive pride.

scarffield:
y u jxt dey open tonque 4 all ur posts??

★★★Bet y★★★~ ©Mistabiola®

Mariojane:


i think you should go for the graduate. in your write-up there is nowhere you said the graduate is rude or uncultured. you only said she visit and gist with you while the school-cert visit and clean and bend her knees to greet you.
your girlfriend not bending to greet you is not a sign that she disrespect you. she is already familiar with you and may not take it to mean anything. and why should you leave your house dirty for a lady to come clean up? she is suppose to be a companion not an househelp. am not saying she shouldn't clean up your house but it shouldn't be a complusory thing like you won't clean your house if you are single. assumming you are married to the graduate and you have an househelp who does the cleaning of the house will you be asking for option to date tha househelp since she cleans the house?
and i believe the other girl coming to clean your house for you and bending to greet you is just doing that as a sign of respect for an area brother but if cos of house cleaning you go for the other girl by the time she start showing her true self, don't come here for advise ooooo

have you tried talking to your girlfriend about the house cleaning? what was her response? though it is womanly to keep things cleans but also it is gentlemanly to keep things clean too not waiting for your girlfriend like she is your househelp. the only issue you have with the graduate is cleaning no other issue so what is your problem? to me you dont have any issue you are just looking for excuses.

yoruba people says 'kneeling is not character' yorubas in the house abeg help with that adage

Thanks for ur comment. I want to make it clear here now that the fact that the school cert lady bends her knee slightly when greeting doesn't sway me to assume that she is respectful, she does that to any body her elder . Many comments here seem to harp on that, I am not basing my judgment on that, I was only trying to paint the way she appears. One the other hand, i am not a dirty man as some comments suggest. I am fund of having kids around me. There are some kids in the neighborhood that do come to play in my house, most times they litter and disorganize things. I am a very busy man coz of the nature of my job, my attention is constantly needed round the clock, I only have some fresh air during the weekends, even at that I work remotely from my laptop at times. So when I have the time I clean up thoroughly. My graduate friend doesn't even wash her dish after eating, but I am attracted to her.

elantraceey:


Nope I don't.

Where do u school now, that background resembles my dept

elantraceey:


Nope I don't.

Where do u school now, that background resembles my dept

sunnyt1:
Most educated people will rather marry someone who is educated like them than marry for happiness.

We (im also educated) seem to bow to societal demands and expectations, as a matter of fact, thats how we live our lives, we do things because of what others might think, putting our joy and peace on the line. Putting it in perspective, We live to impress others.

There is this unspoken education passed from one "enlightened" person to another on marital demands which are usually unchecked but are strictly adhered to even by the so-called christians.

The society teaches the wrong things about marriage, things that are totally irrelevant are given 1st class emphasis, one of them is education. There are others; height, size, social status are others

Education has nothing to do with marriage, regardless of the isolated experiences some people have had, it shouldnt form the basis of our reasoning. Education is viewed wrongly in some quarters, it is about enlightenment and relevance which you can all agree that some people who dont have formal education or certificate can also boast of.

Marriage is about companionship, service, loyalty, love, it has nothing to do with education. Some people dont believe in God and destiny so there is no point talking about both. Marriage should give you happiness, anyone who can give it is marriageable to you regardless of his\her education status. Fellows who are regretting their marriages because of this kind of decision of putting education far ahead would strongly and openly defend it

If the girl can give you happiness, marry her. Marrying the 2nd girl only crossed your mind because of what you think people might say.

The way we take education sometime is apparently appalling. If even among educated people, there is status and supposed quality discrepancy, how much more while dealing with someone who doesnt have formal education, this is not the purpose of education. Its not about destructive pride.

Brilliant, appreciated.

tido77:
[b]thanks for ur brilliant input, actually, I have not spelt open to either of them that I would like to date. [/b]However, we have been friends for like 2years now, they come around and we eat and spend time together. I have been watching them, the graduate will never wash even the dish she ate with, and she parades this air of pride when relating to less educated persons. I want to take time to watch them and I will apply nairaland suggestions combined with prayers in making my final decision. Note? The sec cert lady is not an illiterate, she just didn't get university education.

Not to hold brief for the graduate but you are not dating her which means she comes to your house like any other visitor that comes around. Do you expect your visitors to wash their plates? She has no stake in your life or your house for all you know if you ask her out she may turn you down why then should she wash plates in your house?

The school cert girl now that is green light she is showing you. If you like her you should go for her already she can further her education in your house if she so desires.

I see you you want to do a further study of the gals honestly I believe you should do a further study of yourself if you know what you want when you see it whether graduate form or school cert form you will recognize.

You've been studying these women in close proximity for 2 years yet you seem confused I feel it's time to study yourself for what you desire in a wife.

andromida:


Not to hold brief for the graduate but you are not dating her which means she comes to your house like any other visitor that comes around. Do you expect your visitors to wash their plates? She has no stake in your life or your house for all you know if you ask her out she may turn you down why then should she wash plates in your house?

The school cert girl now that is green light Thushe is showing you. If you like her you should go for her already she can further her education in your house if she so desires.

I see you you want to do a further study of the gals honestly I believe you should do a further study of yourself if you know what you want when you see it whether graduate form or school cert form you will recognize.

saYs. I ou've been studying these women in close proximity for 2 years yet you seem confused I feel it's time to study yourself for what you desire in a wife.

Thanks for your input, the graduate lady is not just a passing friend to me, she has taking me as a real friend, she tells me things before even tells[][email][/email][email][/email][email][/emai herself,n I am not a baby, I could decode her moves. I am talking about a lady that sometimes grab my keys too nap in my house. What kind of lady given the background of our friendship will wait for me to tell her that we are dating before washing the dish she ate with ⁉ I have sisters who graduated too but they don't behave that way. That's supposed to be a basic home etiquette. I am sampling opinions here on NL before cutting the chord. The Bible says in the multitude of counselors, there's wisdom. I appreciate everybody. Thanks.

andromida:


Not to hold brief for the graduate but you are not dating her which means she comes to your house like any other visitor that comes around. Do you expect your visitors to wash their plates? She has no stake in your life or your house for all you know if you ask her out she may turn you down why then should she wash plates in your house?

The school cert girl now that is green light she is showing you. If you like her you should go for her already she can further her education in your house if she so desires.

I see you you want to do a further study of the gals honestly I believe you should do a further study of yourself if you know what you want when you see it whether graduate form or school cert form you will recognize.

You've been studying these women in close proximity for 2 years yet you seem confused I feel it's time to study yourself for what you desire in a wife.

A "matured" lady knows what to do when she comes to your house more than once, it doesnt have to involve dating before a lady shows her homely part, our parents will tell us more about this

tido77:
Thanks for ur comment. I want to make it clear here now that the fact that the school cert lady bends her knee slightly when greeting doesn't sway me to assume that she is respectful, she does that to any body her elder . Many comments here seem to harp on that, I am not basing my judgment on that, I was only trying to paint the way she appears. One the other hand, i am not a dirty man as some comments suggest. I am fund of having kids around me. There are some kids in the neighborhood that do come to play in my house, most times they litter and disorganize things. I am a very busy man coz of the nature of my job, my attention is constantly needed round the clock, I only have some fresh air during the weekends, even at that I work remotely from my laptop at times. So when I have the time I clean up thoroughly. My graduate friend doesn't even wash her dish after eating, but I am attracted to her.

we are saying the same thing. The girl bending her knees to greet elders cos that is the way she is brought up and that has nothing to do with attitude or manner just yoruba normal way of greeting. You still did not say the graduate is disrespectful which means the only issue you have with her is her inability to tidy up the house. You can correct her and hopefully she will listen. But I still think you should go for the graduate not cos she is a graduate but cos you are attracted to her and you can change her cos no lady is perfect. Am sure the school cert. Lady will have her commas and you may be able to live with your graduate untidiness but may not be able to live with the other Lady wahala.

mistabiola:


★★★Huh! Says who ★★★~ ©Mistabiola®

Says me.

u can't buy manners.....upbringing matters a lot...Home training...home training ...home training ......sometimes we need to apply brain and sense together ..as a woman u no need jesus to come down before we do certain things...so she cum my house ,I cook,wash plate for am,she go watch dstv finish dey go..thunder go fire am be that,...so when I marry am ,I go don indirectly turn myself to house boy say I wan marry graduate....

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mistabiola:




★★★Happy Birthday dear...... Wishing you long life and prosperity ★★★~ ©Mistabiola®

Awwwwwwww tanx

kween911:
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