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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. (3648 Views)
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Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 12:59pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
So I created this thread about The Married Women That Respect Their Spiritual Leaders More Than Their Husbands and many of us didn't waste time to type down our frustrations. Well, it is good because the women won't know how we feel about the ish if we don't speak out the way we did but have we taken out time to find out why it is so? Well I tried, and I traced the fault back to us. So I called us here to look for solution on how to end the virus before it eats too deep into our marriages. #My_Opinion. As a man, you are the head of your home. Being the head of your home also means you're the leader. And your responsibilities goes far beyond providing food and shelter for your wife and kids, giving her money and getting her pregnant etc. Leadership means responsibility of service to others – the people who follow you. A good leader is also a servant. That been said............ The problems facing many families today is the lack of leadership by the husband. (Quote me anywhere) we can blame the wife all we want but the problem is somehow our fault. We all know that women are emotional creatures and they love attention, they love to be listened to and this is where most of us fall hand. We are just too negligent of our responsiblity and thus we sell our worth and respect out. Do You Know Why Your Wife Respects Her Spiritual Leader More Than You ![]() I Will Tell You........... 1: You are not leading her spiritually. Leading our wives spiritually is an important area where we fall hand greatly. It is a man's responsibility to disciple his wife and serve in her sanctification. Women are more spiritual than men and they don't joke with religion. So if you are not doing anything to lead in this area, you need a plan towards leading, otherwise your pastor will take over. Lead her spiritually, pray with your wife. It’s tragic how many husbands never do. Rise early and call out to God for your own growth and then for wisdom in how to serve your wife in her growth. 2. You Don't Listen To Her, Talk To Her Or Encourage her When Necessary. Women love to be listened to and talked to especially when they are down emotionally. Pastors are aware of this so they always present themselves as those who are always ready to listen and advice. Do you know who she called/ran to that morning she asked for few minutes of your time and your said later? That night you came home and went to bed straight without touching her food, saying a word to her or asking her how she spent her day? That day you slapped stars out her eyes? That day she was sick and you couldn't call from office/shop to check on her? That day she was emotionally down but you were busy with work and didn't even notice? And other times you messed up?. Obviously her Pastor or Church member, and they listened to her, prayed for her and assured her that all will be fine. So who should she respect more? If you want to enjoy all the respect of your woman alone then you must be her leader in all ramifications. Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow. I am Out. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Nobody: 1:04pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Good one |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 1:06pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Oyind17:Thank You |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by tammie24: 1:33pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
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Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Nobody: 2:02pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
the lack of respect is due to lack of money. make money,and all other things will fall into place. a woman that respect the pastor is because she sees the pastor as more successfully than the hubby. make money and see how even pastors will worship you. do you think Dangote's wives will respect one silly imam or pastor than him? bottom line,make Doe. 2 Likes |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by babythug(f): 4:30pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Tallesty1: This is apt! |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by babythug(f): 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
This is apt!!! |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Epathra(f): 4:31pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Strongly disagree. Say. This from the perspective of girls who get married not women(age aside now). Money is important but not to replace leadership and care except u r paying her to purchase it outside. When she eventually finds someone who is willing to go all the way, she leaves. We then see thread topics like "she left me for another man after spending my money". From a woman's perspective, if you find a woman you want for keeps, give her attention and she's your puppet for life! Yomieluv: 1 Like |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 4:45pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Epathra:You are right. Money isn't everything and cannot buy everything. I have been with a woman who doesn't give a hoot about a man's money. I learned this@emboldened......... from keeping pets. (not tryna compare women to pets oooo) My first pet was very hostile when I bought it. She no dey allow me touch am and the dog no dey hear word at all....... Her favorite exercise nah to tear my clothes, bedsheets, curtains and carpet. But things changed when I started showing her the normal love n care we show to our pets. She became very respectful She dare not do what I told her not to do even if she really wants to. Now think about it, if pets(animals) can be that respectful because we show them love and care then imagine how respectful women will become if we should treat them nicely. No matter how much she loves and respects you, a woman will eventually get tired if you don't reciprocate the respect. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by bukatyne(f): 7:36pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Tallesty1: This is an eureka moment for you ![]() @Topic: Pastors truly seem more caring, having your best interest at heart and non-judgemental. Interestingly, they might not be that way to their wives and then we are back to square one... The wife 'respects'. her pastor more than her husband ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 7:45pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
bukatyne:Choi..... Serious trouble. Something I noticed bout some pastors is that they don't allow other men to get "close" their wives, unless in some places where the wife works in the church too. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 7:46pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Lalasticlala mezienu post nkea ka odi ka ibe ya.... |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by b3llo(m): 8:41pm On Oct 07, 2015 |
Yomieluv:Bro... You are right, if you have money and show your wife care she won't place any spiritual leader above you. Because, she is feeling secured and Loved. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by sauceEEP(m): 4:37pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Informative post... |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 4:40pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
b3llo:If you don't lead her spiritually then you ain't getting all her respect, unless she's an atheist. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 4:41pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
sauceEEP:I am glad you like it. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by xynerise: 5:57pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
#Raises Hand....Erm...I think I have some observations and adjustment....my opinion though. The part you talked about spirituality and leadership, I think for a man to lead his wife spiritually, he needs to be spiritually stronger than she is. Not everybody walks on that devoted route in dealing with issues. How about a man who is not that spiritual? These pastors are psychologist and women tend to believe that anything that comes from the pastor is always right. Argument in marriage is normal but you can't argue with your pastor. The same way they argue with their husbands in dealing with issues is not the way they listen to their pastors. A woman that listens to her husband doesnt fall mugu easily |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Aitee1: 6:05pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by NashvilleTN: 6:17pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Good topic, I think some men need to understand the difference between leadership and being the boss. In fact, leadership is not the same with being the boss. Leadership is about service and being able to give direction. As the leader in the home, you do not have to make all the decisions, in fact, a good leader should delegate some stuff and focus on the bigger issues. A good leader is also about communication - effective communication skills are very key in marriage. Most of the time, the way people respond to a message is dependent on how the message if sent. How you speak to your wife goes along way in determining how she responds to you. Now I am not saying you should beg and cajole your wife all the time, what I am saying is speak to her as a fellow mature person and with dignity. Now on the issue of wives respecting their Pastor more than their husband - I will say a wife should respect her Pastor but her husband is still the head of the home and not any Pastor. By respect, I want to assume you mean the wife listens more to the advice of her pastor than her husband's advice. Only a foolish wife will place her pastor above her husband. I don't blame husbands for that, I actually blame the gullible wives and some scammers in the name of Pastor. No Pastor should get in between a husband and wife - it is wrong. If your wife is more spiritual than you, it is not a sin, spiritually does not necessarily give you leadership skills. They are completely different. And as a leader you need to be firm sometime. Sometimes you may even take an unpopular decision that your wife and even kids may not like; as long as you have a good reason for doing it and you explain to them. 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by pickabeau1: 6:26pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
The crux of your post is tailored on one sentence Do/How many women believe the man is the head of the household? Then there is hope 1 Like |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Mintayo(m): 6:46pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
pickabeau1:True. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by nicerod(m): 6:51pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Readin posts 4rm ontop iya asimiyu's bed |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 9:20pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
xynerise:You are right, that's why Christians are warned to be very careful while choosing a spouse to avoid the issue of "Spiritual mismatch". ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The emboldened intrigued me in a special way, y'see eeh! Even in a situation where the woman is spiritually stronger than the husband, the man can still get the respect if he can @ least fulfill the role God designed for him in his marriage. If the man is spiritual at all, then one thing is established already. "They both deeply lov God". There is no better way to star than this. They should start building a spiritual foundation as a couple. They should start working hard to deepen their spiritual intimacy. Once such an atmosphere is set properly, the wife, instead of consulting her pastor every now and then, would seek her husband's opinion and will also listen to his suggestion. She will enjoy the journey of growing together spiritually. And that will make her to listen to her husband's instructions which brings us back to the benefits of the emboldened. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 9:21pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Aitee1:I am not sure. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 9:34pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
pickabeau1:A lot of them brother, the problem is most times from us. We lack the qualities of a good leader. Every woman stepping into the home of her husband comes in with some fear and good measure of respect. But the trash them quickly because the men act below the expectations. A good leader is first of a all a servant. Once you see yourself reminding your wife every ten minutes that you are the head of the home then you have completely failed already. To lead a woman, you should first of all assure her in your doings that your are the leader but yet she's an equal partner. When she's bout to do something you can say "hold it there" and explain to her the risks involved in what she's about to do and provide a better alternative. If you are gentle, she will listen to you. Call her in, table what you plan to do before her and seek her opinion, she will definitely have something to add, combine them with yours and do it. If it works, thank her mightily for her contribution and if it fails, don't let feel her feel like she's the one that ruined it. It takes gradual process to build. When she comes to you with a plan, suggest a better alternative if you have and is sure that it is better otherwise tell her that she should go ahead that you trust her judgements. Those little things means a lot to them and a woman would hardly let go of a man she can rely on. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by AfricanApple(f): 10:00pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Yomieluv:that is why girls will always 'chop' your money probably without remnants because of this mentality that you guys have really imbed into your brain 1 Like |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by pickabeau1: 10:25pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Tallesty1: I no gree When a woman makes that decision she accepts that she will respect the man Saying that the man acts below expectations hence she thrashes him say more about her. She made the choice |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 10:27pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
AfricanApple: |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Tallesty1(m): 10:30pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
pickabeau1: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Even a saint will get tired of respecting a disrespectful partner. |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by pickabeau1: 10:33pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
Tallesty1: But this is marriage and that decision is taken with the utmost seriousness... Christianwise They can't get tired They report to Holy spirit |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by Nobody: 10:36pm On Oct 13, 2015 |
pickabeau1: So even if at some point in marriage, let us say three years into the marriage, the man, for one reason or another, begins to behave insanely stupid and doesn't stop, she is to respect his foolish decisions? 1 Like |
Re: Husbands And Future Husbands, Please Step In. by pickabeau1: 5:54am On Oct 14, 2015 |
Mindfulness: Explain what u mean by insanely silly |
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