There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitter When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.

They reap what they sow. It is very simple but how does it concern you 5minsmadness?

Mindfulness:
They reap what they sow. It is very simple but how does it concern you 5minsmadness?

I guess I sympathise easily.
I have a little secret. I can't stand to see women cry. It hits me somewhere. The suffering this lady is going thru now, the ridicule, disgrace etc. All cos she wouldn't tell the truth. And it's made worse cos for a long time she made it look like the husband was the monster. Like he changed suddenly and no one knew why. All the shit was on him until he finally blurted out the true story. So it's like she knew what the problem was and she was bad mouthing him all over the neighborhood. Which makes her actions much worse.

Its just sad.

Sorry but I don't feel sorry for couple no.3: guy has a fiancee but decides to cheat (because he's feeling "smart". Side chick decides to play him and trick with a fake pregnancy (because she's feeling "smart". Two immoral people ended up together. I'd congratulate the ex-fiancee for being lucky that she got saved from a silly situation. Why didn't he buy a pregnancy test stick and ask her to come to his house to use it, in his presence? I guess his "smartness" was really going for him.

First and second cases are really sad. Deceitful people are everywhere.

5minsmadness:

I guess I sympathise easily.
I have a little secret. I can't stand to see women cry. It hits me somewhere. The suffering this lady is going thru now, the ridicule, disgrace etc. All cos she wouldn't tell the truth. And it's made worse cos for a long time she made it look like the husband was the monster. Like he changed suddenly and no one knew why. All the shit was on him until he finally blurted out the true story. So it's like she knew what the problem was and she was bad mouthing him all over the neighborhood. Which makes her actions much worse.

Its just sad.

You have a good heart but your sympathy won't help them. You better focus on good marriages, it will make you feel better.

Women deceivin men since esau and jacob


That issue of blood group..I sumhw blame the man but lemme leave matter for op

N lying and deception pre marriage is only done by females, right? I know a lady that dated a guy for bout 8 years with assurances he was AA n wen it was time for wedding, after blood tests, it was 'discovered' that he was AS.

Wat bout guys that lie bout their personal worth, where they work or their preferences as in I don't care if u wear make up or trousers and then change after wedding?

Don't get me wrong, deception on the part of females AND males pre marriage is horrible and sadly enuf, it's the woman that often lives with the consequences as she ends up either in an unhappy marriage or becomes an old maid.

There is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed!


The marriages of couple one and two were based on deception, therefore, it can be annulled.


The man in couple 3 got what he deserve He cheated on his fiancée, but was well paid for in abundance.

marshalcarter:
Women deceivin men since esau and jacob


That issue of blood group..I sumhw blame the man but lemme leave matter for op

You think he should have found out earlier right? You'd be surprised how ignorant some people can be.

The third story though. Guy thought he was trying to do the 'right thing'? Hmmmm.

Why I 'sympathize' with 1 & 2, I do understand how sleeping around is supposed to be a solution to their problems.

1. A man discovers his wife lied about her womb. It is either
* He forgives her and they adopt and/or expect miracles
* He marries a second wife
* He divorces her and remarries.

Ditto the SS palava.

People are deceived into marriages daily and I do not know why the deceivers think they will not be caught.

That no 3 should literally keep quite. He got served.

That is why I always want to know how they started.

RiloKiley:

You think he should have found out earlier right? You'd be surprised how ignorant some people can be.

The third story though. Guy thought he was trying to do the 'right thing'? Hmmmm.

@ bold:

You sef De wonder.

same advice am giving my friend to come clean to her fiancee and she's saying never I will refer her to this page

@op, I can relate with all what you wrote above especially with the issue of blood group and forging health certificate. I signed a fake lab result for a friend, never knew what he wanted to use it for but he coerced me into signing that he was AS meanwhile he was AA. It was after the whole deed was done i figured out the whole truth, when i confronted him, he didn't deny. Why he did that was because he had already impregnated his own fiancee's friend ( long story). And he had done introduction with his fiancee, friend to fiancee he impregnated said she will not abort and he was caught in the middle. He knew his fiancee was AS and he knows she could commit suicide if he dares break up the relationship and not continue with marriage. So the only solution was forged blood test result and it worked. The fiancee he wanted to marry had to let go while he finally settled with his fiancee's friend. She has four kids for him now.

There is another case of a woman that deceived my friend. The lady had done surgery to remove fibroid once before, I don't know the type of soup she cook for my friend o, they ended up marrying each other despite several warnings from my friends family. At the end of the day, after about 7months after marriage, she was always complaining of stomach ache, stomach ache, friend thought she was pregnant or she had ulcer or something Meanwhile all her lab test results before marriage were all forged. It was at the hospital they did scan, did all sort if thing and it was discovered that the second fibroid was growing in her womb. My friend spent huge amount of money to get her operated upon and rehabilitated. After a while, he filed for divorce. He relocated from his house straight up. Lady started begging us to settle the matter. We all said OK. That was how they divorced. Prelude to marriage, women may be deceptive, men may be deceptive. You have to pray hard, open your eyes, apply wisdom when looking for a spouse.

marshalcarter:
Women deceivin men since esau and jacob


That issue of blood group..I sumhw blame the man but lemme leave matter for op

Why do you blame the man?

bukatyne:
Why I 'sympathize' with 1 & 2, I do understand how sleeping around is supposed to be a solution to their problems.

1. A man discovers his wife lied about her womb. It is either
* He forgives her and they adopt and/or expect miracles
* He marries a second wife
* He divorces her and remarries.

Ditto the SS palava.

People are deceived into marriages daily and I do not know why the deceivers think they will not be caught.

That no 3 should literally keep quite. He got served.

That is why I always want to know how they started.

Maybe the sleeping around is the process of looking for a second wife na.

No 3 is just as pathetic. Maybe the man wanted goodbye sex and the girl used the opportunity to trap him. It happens. Happens a lot.

Gloriagee:
N lying and deception pre marriage is only done by females, right? I know a lady that dated a guy for bout 8 years with assurances he was AA n wen it was time for wedding, after blood tests, it was 'discovered' that he was AS.

Wat bout guys that lie bout their personal worth, where they work or their preferences as in I don't care if u wear make up or trousers and then change after wedding?

Don't get me wrong, deception on the part of females AND males pre marriage is horrible and sadly enuf, it's the woman that often lives with the consequences as she ends up either in an unhappy marriage or becomes an old maid.

Certainly, some attires are not ideal for married women.


When you're off the "market," you dress to please and appease the sanctity of your matrimony, not some f*kboys.

Things are happening o

5minsmadness:

Maybe the sleeping around is the process of looking for a second wife na.

No 3 is just as pathetic. Maybe the man wanted goodbye sex and the girl used the opportunity to trap him. It happens. Happens a lot.

No 3 has the guts to talk because the society treats men's adultery with kid gloves.

A man planning his wedding wants goodbye sex from another woman and he can speak out?

Let's not kid ourselves. Bleep.ing around is not the process of a new wife.

Acidosis:


Certainly, some attires are not ideal for married women.


When you're off the "market," you dress to please and appease the sanctity of your matrimony, not some f*kboys.

I agree totally with your statement, but I think it is much better to lay your cards on the table and be clear about preferences.

Excellent7:


I agree totally with your statement, but I think it is much better to lay your cards on the table and be clear about preferences.

That's right, prior knowledge is necessary

5minsmadess,@ story one,i taught the lady said,hubby has 30% motility and that she is ok.
I just don't get anymore.

Acidosis:


Certainly, some attires are not ideal for married women.


When you're off the "market," you dress to please and appease the sanctity of your matrimony, not some f*kboys.

Can you give examples of attires that are not ideal for married women but ideal for unmarried women?
Thank you.

marcjane:
5minsmadess,@ story one,i taught the lady said,hubby has 30% motility and that she is ok.
I just don't get anymore.

What r u talking about?
I have never discussed story 1 before.

greatgod2012:




Can you give examples of attires that are not ideal for married women but ideal for unmarried women?
Thank you.

Walking on the streets, markets, with tight (fitted) shorts. I see young single ladies on that all the time, but I've never seen such on a married woman (and yes, I won't be cool with such).

Acidosis:


Walking on the streets, markets, with tight (fitted) shorts. I see young single ladies on that all the time, but I've never seen such on a married woman (and yes, I won't be cool with such).

See, whether married or unmarried women, nothing will happen if we all dress decently and modest.


Half nak3d dressing and co, are not part of fashion but indiscipline and lawlessness.

greatgod2012:




See, whether married or unmarried women, nothing will happen if we all dress decently and modest.


Half nak3d dressing and co, are not part of fashion but indiscipline and lawlessness.

You're right, but women won't listen to the truth. They equate the spinster-hood with FREEDOM.

Now, since you believe that some attires are not ideal for married women, shouldn't this be communicated clearly before marriage? What I'm against is acting like u're cool with whatever the chick wears be4 marriage n then after marriage, insisting on a diff dress sense.

Acidosis:


Certainly, some attires are not ideal for married women.


When you're off the "market," you dress to please and appease the sanctity of your matrimony, not some f*kboys.

[quote author=5minsmadness post=44261738] What r u talking about? I have never discussed story 1 before. [/quote hahahahahahahaaa

5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

Don't talk too much! This 1st one is very rampant! Even when the womb has not been removed, still they can't bare kids for some medical reasons and yeah, shit happens! But why can't this our women simply come out and say the truth so that the hubby can atleast know what he is dealling with! But taaah! Na packaging + plenty smart lies they would put up. It is then u'll hear statements like: my husband doesn't f***k me hard enough, thats why i'm not pregnant or he is impotent!

I've witnessed all sorts of cases like this and in as much as i like to sympathise with women, i am anti-bullshit! If there's one thing i hate and can't tolerate, it is deception/dishonesty!

Op, @5minsmadness, are you sure about Story No.1? I'm able to deduce the woman being referred to there, and she has posts on Nairaland in which she referred to having had miscarriages as well as fibroids; that wont be possible if her womb had been removed nah.

InformedLola:
Op, @5minsmadness, are you sure about Story No.1? I'm able to deduce the woman being referred to there, and she has posts on Nairaland in which she referred to having had miscarriages as well as fibroids; that wont be possible if her womb had been removed nah.

I didn't get any of the 'stories' from nairaland. So you deduced wrong.

Onegai:
Sorry but I don't feel sorry for couple no.3: guy has a fiancee but decides to cheat (because he's feeling "smart". Side chick decides to play him and trick with a fake pregnancy (because she's feeling "smart". Two immoral people ended up together. I'd congratulate the ex-fiancee for being lucky that she got saved from a silly situation. Why didn't he buy a pregnancy test stick and ask her to come to his house to use it, in his presence? I guess his "smartness" was really going for him.

First and second cases are really sad. Deceitful people are everywhere.

So true. How come they never went to the hospital to do a pregnancy test. I would have thought if someone you don't want to marry says she is pregnant for you, you would do all tests possible to make sure she is pregnant before you marry her. This story get as e be