Ayt

LookmanTalk:
suit yourself sir, you don't have to believe. thank you

mommyice:
No don't marry him, cos if u do, i see disaster ready to happen!

Is she dumb? People pray they don't lose interest in their partner after marriage, yet she is considering marrying someone she has no interest in even before marriage. Funny.

3 things to consider: THE 3C's U MUST CONSIDER AND PAY ATTENTION TO B4 MARRIAGE:
(1) CHARACTER: check if he/she is caring, loving and dependable. Is he/she cultured?

(2) COMPETENCE: is he/she educated? Are u OK with an uneducated person? Is he/she working? What's is the nature of their job? Are u OK WT it?

CONNECTION/CHEMISTRY: Are u physically attracted to him/her. Are u excited and happy when around them?
Are u OK with how romantic he/she is?

God fearing man. i have no idea of what that means or why it's even relevant.

No she is not dumb, thank you. Appreciate your contribution

harristo:


Is she dumb? People pray they don't lose interest in their partner after marriage, yet she is considering marrying someone she has no interest in even before marriage. Funny.

Nice guys always finish last. Even the so called spiritual ladies yearn for a bad guy and will hope to change them afterward.
In the long run, you will enjoy a spiritual man cause he won't cheat on you. all those thingy feelings will fade with time and the guy will be the one to tolerate you in the end.

Hmmm! My dear girl, attraction is NEEDED to spice up this marriage thing, especially, on the side of the girl. Like one of cousins once said, "I cannot marry a man I don't feel like 'jumping' at the slightest opportunity."

So, my advice is keep him as a friend because that's what he is, and will always be to you.

kay9:


Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but yours is just terrible. If the man is question was your brother, would you give this advice? Or better still, how about a guy keeps you close.. You know, just keep you close but not necessarily date you o, just keep you close. Yeah, very good idea, if I say so myself.

dont ,mind the mumuness of a girl...keep him close..

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close

In otherwords, friendzone him?

Just as much as ladies face this kind of decision, so do men. However, do not just pick for physical appearance, pick for longevity.

This is the major reason why she is confused. she says from her observations of him and what she knows of hi qualities, he will give her the longevity in marriage that she desires. However, her problem is herself, since she is not physically attracted to him that it might become a problem in the near future and the last thing she wants is to manage her marriage. She desires to be content with whoever she ends with and not manager because he is God fearing..

StPete:
Just as much as ladies face this kind of decision, so do men. However, do not just pick for physical appearance, pick for longevity.

why

Even though i am not married, i can say this with all conviction: only love can sustain a relationship, talk less of marriage.

Just had a phone call from my female friend, she is also now reading all your comments. Says Thank you to everybody.

Me too I say 'Thank you People'.. Especially the experienced (married) ones, no disrespect to the singles!

If you dont find him sexually attractive or imagine being in a romantic relationship pls dont marry him.
I believe he is a doctor, those ones are never appealing to me.

LookmanTalk:
I had a very interesting discussion with a female friend and she told me that she is in a dilemma on whether to marry a certain brother.. these are her reasons

1= He is ready to marry her although well behaved but she is not attracted to him physically and is not sure if she will ever see pass this... she said she will not be proud or comfortable showing him off as her partner

2= she only feels she likes him because he has the fear of God, has future prospects but she will rather keep him as her friend

She does not need him for any form of financial security but says she is confused and needs advise especially from married people, she does not want to go through any marital breakup

Open to all, please advise

This is my take. Its either the said lady isnt telling you everything or you are not telling us all she told you about the guy.
However from the little you have mentioned I will say clearly that the lady is not mature and not ready for marriage. You see the problem with many ladies is this ideology that her ideal man must have certain external physical attributes like height, facial looks, body structure, complexion and stuff like that and I would say that this is surely her dilemma.
She may have a group of friends who pride themselves in talking about or showing off their supposedly handsome boyfriends or husbands and she has subconsciously imagined herself presenting this guy as her husband when he does not compare to theirs in looks or because she already probably gave them an idea of her ideal man and they would mock her for her choice.
Why would any sane matured woman want to show off her husband like he is some accessory or like he is an achievement.
She has listed out some glowing attributes of the guy and this shows there is some interest from her but other factors which she has not mentioned are making her stop short.

My advice...go ahead with the guy if he wishes to go ahead with you and his glowing attributes which you have outlined will bring out the outer looks you seek. If she is pretty then her looks would rub off on him. No man or woman is bad looking its all about how well he or she is packaged.

My candid advice for the ladies

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don't be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time?,Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag or makes you unhappy?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really want you.

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen so the best part is that you will fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about because if a woman marries a man who truly loves and cherishes her,she is complete but if she marries a man she is crazy about but does not truly love and cherish her,she is finished.

Hope this helps

www.nairaland.com/2440267/costly-mistake-many-ladies-make

Unless she's ready to show the world what a platonic marriage looks like, she shouldn't marry him.

Nnemuka:
If you dont find him sexually attractive or imagine being in a romantic relationship pls dont marry him.
I believe he is a doctor, those ones are never appealing to me.

i know your type. You and mostly other immature girls, gangster, hooligans and cultists are the kind of guys you find attractive. No wonder your lives are all messed up.

LookmanTalk:
Your reasons please.. It is just the physical attraction that is her major concern. she says she doesn't mind dealing with every other imperfection as she is not perfect herself. But she is not just physically attracted to him in anyway

I want to know if she was attracted to him when they both started dating and later on the attraction vanished OR she didn't feel de attraction right from beginning??

Then how old is de relationship

Toks2008:
My candid advice for the ladies

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don't be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time?,Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag or makes you unhappy?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really want you.

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen so the best part is that you will fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about because if a woman marries a man who truly loves and cherishes her,she is complete but if she marries a man she is crazy about but does not truly love and cherish her,she is finished.

Hope this helps

www.nairaland.com/2440267/costly-mistake-many-ladies-make

girls of these days, if you treat them like a queen, they would friendzone you and term you maga.

LookmanTalk:
I had a very interesting discussion with a female friend and she told me that she is in a dilemma on whether to marry a certain brother.. these are her reasons

1= He is ready to marry her although well behaved but she is not attracted to him physically and is not sure if she will ever see pass this... she said she will not be proud or comfortable showing him off as her partner

2= she only feels she likes him because he has the fear of God, has future prospects but she will rather keep him as her friend

She does not need him for any form of financial security but says she is confused and needs advise especially from married people, she does not want to go through any marital breakup

Open to all, please advise

that's why most ladies end up as senior babes 35 and above with no husband.. Its impotant to know that no 1 is perfect in life.... And I bet you any man that is romantically very good to ladies you will find out that ladies porsue him up and down even if he doesn't want they nwill end up snaching him from you, and if you think if you marry him he becomes Ūя̲̅ property and u won't allow him do that I bet you you will be sharing him with some bigger babes weather u lknow it or not... I assure you the most important thing in a Man is the Fear of God.. Even if he's a broke guy no condition is permanent God will turn him 1 day.. And I want u to know that no matter how unromantic a man is 1001 of ladies are willing to have him like that coz its easy to work on him and trim him to Ūя̲̅ taste...

Gaborone:
Unless she's ready to show the world what a platonic marriage looks like, she shouldn't marry him.

don't worry, she would be ready to marry the devil when she turns 35. She should keep waiting o.

harristo:


Is she dumb? People pray they don't lose interest in their partner after marriage, yet she is considering marrying someone she has no interest in even before marriage. Funny.

what you have to understand is this, men age better when married because they are now eating good food ( well most men anyway lol ) while women go downhill very fast after the first kid, so it will get to a time when the guy starts looking good and she looks jacked up and he will be the one ashamed. point being a woman has to marry a man uglier than her because situation will definitely reverse AND THATS GAME I AM SPITTING

all the women i went to school with now look like iya apati. they look like my mother while i still look like a teenager lmao. ok maybe not a teenager but you get the point

shiinihost:


girls of these days, if you treat them like a queen, they would friendzone you and term you maga.

Those ladies with such habbit latter pray and fast for that same maga to come into their lives when they realize how myopic they have been.

Nnemuka:

mumu, what is wrong being 32 and single? is it a curse
kids everywhere

loool somebody is pained. Biological clock is ticking tick-tock.

From 32 to 35. from 35 to 39 just like the story of the assistant choir-mistress in my church, nobody wan marry am again because her age-group are married with kids.

Keep denying reality/truth. Being 32 and single as a woman is bad.

richie9093:


loool somebody is pained. Biological clock is ticking tick-tock.

From 32 to 35. from 35 to 39 just like the story of the assistant choir-mistress in my church, nobody wan marry am again because are age-group are married with kids.

Keep denying reality/truth. Being 32 and single as a woman is bad.

amen... the prayer of everybody is to grow old in good health. From 32 to 35 to 40 and 50.....
I pray you die soonest so you wont live to see a 32 year old single lady since being 32 is a taboo in your world.

Say amen to my prayers.

BTW if you think am pained or think am 32 then bro the joke is on you.
even next year i wont be 30. 30 yrs is a long time from now.
just replying a mad man's post.

bronzegoddess:
Quite a number of us ladies are in this situation. That guy comes along, is caring, God fearing, hard-working and all, but we don't get that romantic vibe with the person. I'll say keep him close, not necessarily date him, just keep him close



Y'all are allowed to read whatever meaning u want to this ^^

You mean she should keep him close as in a reserve bench goal keeper in case all other options fail abi?

Sometimes I think you fish-brained ladies deserve all the cruel treatments you receive from playboys.

why

Na Flavour Nabiana she wan marry.

Toks2008:


Those ladies with such habbit latter pray and fast for that same maga to come into their lives when they realize how myopic they have been.

Yes, almost all naija babes have the same atitude, case in point is the lady the op described. The other guy is ready to give her all she wants, treat her like a queen and he is a good man. But what does she want? A gangster that would treat her like trash but she's attracted to. No body wan dull again. Every guy in Naija should break bad and start treating these girls like the trash they are.

Nnemuka:

Bad boys rock.... Now mix rat poison with water, drink it and die

i pity the man that you would finally beg to marry you after we the bad boys messing you up. I fvckin pity all naija good men.