babygirlfl:


Sorry to hear about the bad news. Welcome back dear.

Thanks so much hun. Actually ill tell you what it is cos I don't think it's something shameful like my hubby's family seem to think. My daughter was diagnosed with autism. Though I kind of knew it's hard to take in black and white. I've assimilated it now she is doing well

HFOG:

But our inactions and actions could be a catalyst in their making up their minds to change or not to.

Yes that is true.

fem29:



Omg hun you sooooo rock.

To be honest if my hubby was really rich and cheating and we have kids, I would fight him but I wouldn't leave . I would double wrap it during sex, male condom on him, female on me. I would tell him straight up, I don't want to catch any diseases. I would stack my chips. Build my career /business save up lots 9f money. By the time the kids grow up , if he hasn't changed by then I would leave him and try to find love again or a toyboy.

Life is what you make of it

I am not saying women should leave cheating husbands. If should be their choice whether to stay out to leave. The society and its hypocrites must not dictate to them or shame them for sticking with their choice. Neither should they be pressured to make things 'right' or 'handle it maturely'/especially when it is no fault of theirs.

daretodiffer:


I am not saying women should leave cheating husbands. If should be their choice whether to stay out to leave. The society and its hypocrites must not dictate to them or shame them for sticking with their choice. Neither should they be pressured to make things 'right' or 'handle it maturely'/especially when it is no fault of theirs.

Very true I agree that women should be allowed to do what is best for them when confronted with a cheating hubby. In Nigeria they will be castigated for leaving. Every one has what they can cope with and they should be able to make that choice without condemnation.

But as for me cheating is not the worst thing . Being hit is the one deal breaker for me. Like a ghost ill be gone...

fem29:


Very true I agree that women should be allowed to do what is best for them when confronted with a cheating hubby. In Nigeria they will be castigated for leaving. Every one has what they can cope with and they should be able to make that choice without condemnation.

But as for me cheating is not the worst thing . Being hit is the one deal breaker for me. Like a ghost ill be gone...

Shhhhhh!

Don't let your husband know:oo

It may or may not be for be, I don't know yet but I will leave if I want to. I also would not beg regardless o

I can stand abusive people too

fem29:


Thanks so much hun. Actually ill tell you what it is cos I don't think it's something shameful like my hubby's family seem to think. My daughter was diagnosed with autism. Though I kind of knew it's hard to take in black and white. I've assimilated it now she is doing well

And she is going to keep doing well! How brave of you to be handling this, well done and may God shine His light all over your lives. That girl is a. blessing.
I believe there is a support group for autistic kids in Lagos, I know I've heard it mentioned. Please if you haven't found them, try and contact them.

And yeah, I'd do what you'd do with a cheating husband: if he's rich, I stay and we fight and I "endure" what I can. If he's not, he will know the marriage is over when I text him pics of me and some other dude in bed

Onegai:


And she is going to keep doing well! How brave of you to be handling this, well done and may God shine His light all over your lives. That girl is a. blessing.
I believe there is a support group for autistic kids in Lagos, I know I've heard it mentioned. Please if you haven't found them, try and contact them.

And yeah, I'd do what you'd do with a cheating husband: if he's rich, I stay and we fight and I "endure" what I can. If he's not, he will know the marriage is over when I text him pics of me and some other dude in bed

Lol I'm in London thankfully soo all therapies and treatments are available .

Yess ooo. One needs not be too emotional stack your chips before you leave . Make sure your kids are good first

daretodiffer:


Shhhhhh!

Don't let your husband know:oo

It may or may not be for be, I don't know yet but I will leave if I want to. I also would not beg regardless o

I can stand abusive people too

Ah I'm sure he knows oooo. I cannot allow someone to come and break my head I don't know how to fight .

@ fem29,

Sweetheart, she will continue to be fine. It's nothing to be ashamed off and with a great mum like you that God has blessed her with she will keep doing fine.Make use of all the support groups and help available and remain the great mum and person you are.

babygirlfl:
@ fem29,

Sweetheart, she will continue to be fine. It's nothing to be ashamed off and with a great mum like you that God has blessed her with she will keep doing fine.Make use of all the support groups and help available and remain the great mum and person you are.

Amen in Jesus name. Thanks soo much hun

daretodiffer:




Go through the thread, bitter man

I've read most of your comments trust me they ain't encouraging.......is like you can't do without insulting #so not good

Kockane:


You are lucky this is online and not real life. The beat wen I for beat you Ehn! So uncouth and Mannerless! All these children without home training. Kai! You are a shame to those who raised you...

You are a disgrace to men and the woman who raised you. Promoting violence. Bush man

bronzegoddess:



How did she insult her? She stated low self esteem abi na lie self esteem, and I totally agree. Only low self esteem can make a woman keep quiet like the aunt did. He said criticizing, u shld also criticize those insulting her for her comment too, don't forget to do so, mr critic.

Thank you so much. I am so happy when I read from people that reason like you. How does saying someone has low self-esteem relate to an insult? Especially as the aunt kept the fact that she had seen her husband with another lady for three months. If that is not low self-esteem then we need to coin a new term for that kind of behavior. Most of these men praising the op's aunt would not tolerate infidelity from their wives.

[quote author=Toks2008 post=39409626]


1.Can i remain a celibate forever?
2.Is there a guarantee that the next man will not do same or even worse?
3.As a sexually active lady who is out of my marriage is it really worth it leaving a cheating husband to start sleeping around with men that may likely be cheating with me on their ladies too?


These are the questions that make women stay in loveless relationships and then end up being bitter in their old age. What's the point in sleeping with a man who does not respect his matrimonial vows and thus putting oneself at risk of getting aids or STDs? What if by staying in the relationship the woman is missing out on experiencing what true love is? Women have left bad relationships and met good men thereafter. Also a woman can wait to make sure that she is in an exclusive relationship with a man before sleeping with him. Women are not firewood and there is no reason why they should not satisfy their sexual desires.

Hatrik:



I've read most of your comments trust me they ain't encouraging.......is like you can't do without insulting #so not good

Stop being biased. Your fellow men started the insults. She succinctly stated her opinion and being the chauvinists that you African men are they resorted to insults.

Hatrik:



I've read most of your comments trust me they ain't encouraging.......is like you can't do without insulting #so not good

Did you intentionally miss the part where people insulted me first?

I don't care. I am not here for you

Aude:


Stop being biased. Your fellow men started the insults. She succinctly stated her opinion and being the chauvinists that you African men are they resorted to insults.

You dey mind him

Read his initial post to me. He basically insulted me yet he didn't want moy to give him his due.

Why is everybody accusing daretodiffer?
Na she kill the aunty? ?

EggovinMma:
Why is everybody accusing daretodiffer?
Na she kill the aunty? ?

Your username is hard to find o

You know no say I be winch

.

@Toks2008

1. Can i remain a celibate forever?
2.Is there a guaranty that the next man will not do same or even worse?
3.As a sexually active lady who is out of my marriage is it really worth it leaving a cheating husband to start sleeping around with men that may likely be cheating with me on their ladies too?

1. How is it of any man's business? Why don't you ask the same of the foolish husband who wouldn't mind destroying his home because of sex
2. See 1
3. See 1

Because the society says that men are naturally polygamous does not mean that it is true. Ask the women around you if they wouldn't want to give another man a try without the society shaming them

daretodiffer:


Your username is hard to find o

You know no say I be winch

I love your response to those stupid guts lashing at you.
Did you notice, the topic now moved from the issue to just "you"?
It became an attack on your response to the "dead " aunt rather than the topic of discourse. That's nairaland guys for you o, except for the few who are well trimmed to respect women.

At a point I just tire for the woman wey die sef, abi na you kill am? Too much emphasis sure kills genuine sentiments.

EggovinMma:


I love your response to those stupid guts lashing at you.
Did you notice, the topic now moved from the issue to just "you"?
It became an attack on your response to the "dead " aunt rather than the topic of discourse. That's nairaland guys for you o, except for the few who are well trimmed to respect women.

At a point I just tire for the woman wey die sef, abi na you kill am? Too much emphasis sure kills genuine sentiments.

LOLZ. I could practically smell their fears and frustrations off the internet

Our men are scared

daretodiffer:


LOLZ. I could practically smell their fears and frustrations off the internet

Our men are scared

Yea,a very stupid topic at that aimed to "lecture" women to tolerate husbands that cheat.I don't even take them serious again sef because married women sef don dey cheat like kilode. And it's really spreading like harmattan fire.

EggovinMma:


Yea,a very stupid topic at that aimed to "lecture" women to tolerate husbands that cheat.I don't even take them serious again sef because married women sef don dey cheat like kilode. And it's really spreading like harmattan fire.

It is only going to get worse. And the institution of matters will be nothing but a mere joke.

Complicated issue... if what lead to the death of your Aunt isn't the issue of her hubby cheating and it something else out of the emotional then the guy is a free man but if her death has to do with emotions like nairaland-ers have said "put up with a cheating husband and die untimely"... he need to make sure he never go back into such...

Either way... www.nairaland.com/attachments/2513900_rip_gifd52ed37d40237fef21819c765b7fc88e to your Aunt

Aude:


Thank you so much. I am so happy when I read from people that reason like you. How does saying someone has low self-esteem relate to an insult? Especially as the aunt kept the fact that she had seen her husband with another lady for three months. If that is not low self-esteem then we need to coin a new term for that kind of behavior. Most of these men praising the op's aunt would not tolerate infidelity from their wives.

are u minding them? They will leave the issues that stare them right in d face and choose to insult someone who says it like it is.

She gave us a new term for it already...lie self esteem

sammaking:


Now I see reason with the guy who said you have a lot of "growing up" to do.

Quote me right. No man and I mean no man in his right senses will respect, love and treat you the way your confused mind is putting it to you except you first submit to him. Unfortunately I don't see your pride and arrogance allowing you listen to any man.

Idio.t

Men forming wise men

daretodiffer:


Bwahahaa

On the first point, you are right but you failed to look a the issue itself. The issue is that men justify their cheating. For them it is okay, they know they are going to get a free pass. They know people like you would caution the woman to take it easy and if she left her house because of that, you will call her names. Why can't she tolerate things for the sake of the greater good that is marriage(she is too petty, isn't she). And the circle keeps rotating. You won't declare marriage a state of emergency when men cheat and fail to see the inherent wrong in what they do. They keep getting away with it and their wives keep hurting deep inside. But it doesn't matter, they can get hurt but they must not leave.

However if it were a woman, OMG, she must leave that marriage today. The man must walk out o. There wouldn't be any state of emergency because it is a guy and he is justified.

Isn't that a hypocrisy? I agree that there are times we have to look the other way in a marriage but when the world and you believe that it is your birthright to cheat and it is your wives' birthright to look the other way to avoid disrepute, then there is a big problem. If we can't join hands to castigate hypocrites, please don't be afraid of state of emergency nor should be afraid of women cheating in their married homes. Because once you think a woman should/must stay with a cheating partner, you no longer have an opinion because you are biased.

My own palava is that I want you to recognise that a woman can have affairs too. If she can't discipline herself not to, then the man has no excuse. Also, women should be given a choice either to stay or not to stay without fools who think they have an opinion calling her names.




I didn't insult him, he threw the first stone with his ‘mature and learn'.



When the so-called leader lack self-discipline, how is the follower/partner supposed to respect him



Every woman that has an opinion is frustrated, depressed and unhappy abi. Yes, I am all the above if that makes you feel good as a man

When next you try to tackle issues, use your objective mind. If you can't please do not quote me.

I wish I cld give u a million likes. You are seriously making sense. Thumbs up sis.
Many men are hypocrites and our Society at large. Men will boldly find excuses for cheating, claiming it's in their nature. There is no respect for the wife or marriage. As if only the man is entitled to faithfulness from the woman in a relationship or marriage but It's perfectly ok, for the man to sleep around and the Society expects the wife to turn a blind eye and be 'mature' while she is being hurt over and over again by the husband's selfishness and lack of respect. But if the wife cheats all hell will break loose, such hypocrisy!
All those cheats that sleep around shld always put themselves in the wife's shoes, how wld they feel if it was the other way round? But no it's perfectly normal for the man to cheat, and the woman has to be the mature one and ignore the fact that the man LovePeddler she calls a husband is probably somewhere sleeping with another woman while she is worrying herself sick thinking of his wellbeing. And she has to turn a blind eye so the Society won't castigate her in the end.
The fear of God and self control is what many men lack, yet they'll find a way to claim self-righteousness for the evil they do.

PunkyVeer:


Well, the choice lies on whomever finds themselves in that situation. Some women are more tolerant than others. I pity them though

Personally, I don't subscribe to the school of thought that tells you, you should persevere & pray he changes his ways. I'm not interested in that. I don't want to. Hell, I don't care. He cheats, I'm serving his slimy conniving ass with divorce papers & we part ways. I can't be the only one holding down the home front, while he's swinging his dick having a care-free time, thinking only about himself.

Its easier said than done. When the time comes (if it ever does) you will understand. . .2 wrongs will never make a right!!
Permit me to say, shame on cheating men...

Men and Women are wired differently...

let the truth be told man is polygamous in nature. if u know ur husband has excess testosterone and wag is phallus at all the ladies in the neigbour hood it is simple allow him to legally marry those ladies as second wife or shut the Bleep up come rain come sun one woman can never satisfy a man....

[quote author=PunkyVeer post=39391660]Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.[/quote

exactly,thats what caused her death,the pains where too much for her to handle.

Our views and opinions abt unfaithfulness changes as we grow
older. As singles to Newly Married, to the Arrival of Children, the challenges of their Proper Upbringing and to the Later stages of Becoming elderly Married couple so much Happens that Completely Turns Previously held Stance and views.