An EB reader needs our advice… Find her story below…

I am sure most ladies can relate to this, during my university days, my mum and aunties told me that after I graduate from the university and get a good job, guys will begin to run after me for marriage. There is always this mindset that when a lady starts dating in school, she gets distracted from her studies and passing her exams with very good grades.

Well as for me, I dated someone back then in school, but had it in my mind to end the relationship if it affected me in any way. Which eventually ended due to lack of concentration, at this point I decided I was going to graduate with good grades and proceed with my master’s degree after NYSC before considering marriage. Well, I ended up achieving a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree at the age of 24, got a very good paying job few months later, rented a comfortable apartment and got me a posh car.

Now, I am in my early 30s, and it is very difficult finding a man to settle down with as most guys I meet feel threatened by my achievements, once they get to hear the name of the company I work for and the position I occupy, they take to their heels without them getting to know me better.

Interestingly, I meet different guys, not like I don’t. But the problem is my achievements, as most men that shows interest in marrying me are either wealthy older men or already married with kids. This is not the life I want to live, I want someone to grow old with, I do care how much he earns because I am not ignorant of the job situation in Nigeria.

Sometimes I feel shouldn’t mention anything about my job and maybe buy a smaller car. But I have worked so hard to get me where I am today, I am so proud of my achievements. Do I have to go as far as pretending to be what I am not, all because I want a life partner. A man who loves me, should love me for me and not feel threatened by my success.

Please advice, I am in a tight situation.

Source: www.esther.ng

Looking for traffic

Ehhyaaahh! Your own man is on the way. Just keep the hope alive!

I earn 20k per month....marry me

Maybe u just gatu change something about the woman in the mirror... The way u carry yourself matters a whole lot y'know. . . I bliv u not attracting jahbles guys, so its not like they're fearful lol, they're rather careful so they don't get hooked in the nets af an egomaniac .

Op it depend on how you present yourself,btw your attitude speaks louder,make yourself humble and men wouldnt be your problem but come to think of it,,

what is the occupation of those guysconsidering your age i believe the toasters shld be in mid thirties if nt forties so there is a high possiblity that those guys are settled are ready for marriage...


Your achievement is not what is actually scaring them but the way you present yourself

krusdamax:
Ehhyaaahh! Your own man is on the way. Just keep the hope alive!

talking abt"her man" who is that man actually?is there a pre designed man for everylady

Pretend because of man? Tufiakwa. The problem is the kind of men you are meeting.

Her man is searching for her as written in the scripture. Bear you in mind the God's thought for us is only for good.

[NIV] Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Jollyjoy:
talking abt"her man" who is that man actually?is there a pre designed man for everylady

krusdamax:
Her man is searching for her as written in the scripture. Bear you in mind the God's thought for us is only for good.

[NIV] Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

that is another thing entirely boo......

IamLEGEND1:
nónsense wetin concern us with ur wahala.. na by force you must marry ni?

be your brother keeper

Jollyjoy:
that is another thing entirely boo......

How do you mean bae

krusdamax:


How do you mean bae

you choose your wife and show God

ladyF:
Pretend because of man? Tufiakwa. The problem is the kind of men you are meeting.

Ah! Madam! I have been asking of you in some of my post!

I missed that your "its LadyF again" (that's the 1st constant I noticed when I just joined nairaland)

Jollyjoy:
you choose your wife and show God

Maybe you rephrase your choice of word there... You search for your wife and find her.

whr d heck av u being... y was i not one of dose men dat met u

demarc001:


Ah! Madam! I have been asking of you in some of my post!

I missed that your "its LadyF again" (that's the 1st constant I noticed when I just joined nairaland)

hehehe thanks LadyF has been around.

Esthersblog:
An EB reader needs our advice… Find her story below…

I am sure most ladies can relate to this, during my university days, my mum and aunties told me that after I graduate from the university and get a good job, guys will begin to run after me for marriage. There is always this mindset that when a lady starts dating in school, she gets distracted from her studies and passing her exams with very good grades.

Well as for me, I dated someone back then in school, but had it in my mind to end the relationship if it affected me in any way. Which eventually ended due to lack of concentration, at this point I decided I was going to graduate with good grades and proceed with my master’s degree after NYSC before considering marriage. Well, I ended up achieving a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree at the age of 24, got a very good paying job few months later, rented a comfortable apartment and got me a posh car.

Now, I am in my early 30s, and it is very difficult finding a man to settle down with as most guys I meet feel threatened by my achievements, once they get to hear the name of the company I work for and the position I occupy, they take to their heels without them getting to know me better.

Interestingly, I meet different guys, not like I don’t. But the problem is my achievements, as most men that shows interest in marrying me are either wealthy older men or already married with kids. This is not the life I want to live, I want someone to grow old with, I do care how much he earns because I am not ignorant of the job situation in Nigeria.

Sometimes I feel shouldn’t mention anything about my job and maybe buy a smaller car. But I have worked so hard to get me where I am today, I am so proud of my achievements. Do I have to go as far as pretending to be what I am not, all because I want a life partner. A man who loves me, should love me for me and not feel threatened by my success.

Please advice, I am in a tight situation.

www.esther.com.ng

If from your heart of hearts,u believed that a man who loves u will still stay and marry u, then why is it giving u a sleepless night? U know the problem with majority of us? We will see something that is a treat to us/existence ( sometimes, it should not even be a treat,but society made it so) and it is affecting us negatively, but then we just choose to look the other way, we choose to tell ourselves what we want to hear and not the actual truth. I would have given u one or two piece of advice, but since u are very convinced that the man who truly loves you will stay no matter what, then all I will say is "GOOD LUCK" in your wait.

Yea, very true...

Jollyjoy:
Op it depend on how you present yourself,btw your attitude speaks louder,make yourself humble and men wouldnt be your problem but come to think of it,,

what is the occupation of those guysconsidering your age i believe the toasters shld be in mid thirties if nt forties so there is a high possiblity that those guys are settled are ready for marriage...


Your achievement is not what is actually scaring them but the way you present yourself

Its very wrong to pretend to be someone else...

ladyF:
Pretend because of man? Tufiakwa. The problem is the kind of men you are meeting.

Kindly share the advice. You never know...
Sometimes, we hide from the truth but hearing it from someone might give us reason to sit down and go back to the drawing board, and that's for those who have ears.

chigoizie7:






If from your heart of hearts,u believed that a man who loves u will still stay and marry u, then why is it giving u a sleepless night? U know the problem with majority of us? We will see something that is a treat to us/existence ( sometimes, it should not even be a treat,but society made it so) and it is affecting us negatively, but then we just choose to look the other way, we choose to tell ourselves what we want to hear and not the actual truth. I would have given u one or two piece of advice, but since u are very convinced that the man who truly loves you will stay no matter what, then all I will say is "GOOD LUCK" in your wait.

Esthersblog:
Kindly share the advice. You never know...
Sometimes, we hide from the truth but hearing it from someone might give us reason to sit down and go back to the drawing board, and that's for those who have ears.

Lol.



1. For u to even lie to yourself when u know the truth is enough to drive men away from u.(U know what I mean by "lie" to yourself).


2. @ early 30,its likely that men u were dating are between 35-40 or even above. Haven said this, such men are mature enough(wise/strong mind) to settle down.


3. They knew u had such job,posh car and classy apartment b4 they went into relationship with you, but could not stay to grow old with you, which means there is something wrong somewhere and that is. Certainly not about your career, but about your personality and how u see life in general.


4. I will quote u, "u were in a relationship with someone in your university days,but stopped when u tot it was affecting your academic life". U stopped doing something that makes u happy so that u can "achieve" your aims. Is it not being hypocritical on your part when u also said that u can not get a smaller car? If actually getting married is a priority? Just as your academic life back in skul, why not give a low life a chance?



5 if u could answer most of my questions truthfully, then, u will see that, it was not actually your career that is driving them away, but your person.




6. In the absence of all my assertions ^^^^, I will bring this stereotype to play. Women love "power more than anything in the world, forget "money", money is just a lather to climb up to power. From the way u have described yourself, u have more than enough,so, in extension, u also have the power, the question now is, "will u misuse it? YES you will, consciously or not, we all know women, they talk a lot,most times, it is just to win a quarrel which is inevitable in all marriages. Is the man willing to let his ego down? NO.




The summary of what I am saying is that.

1.It is never your career that is driving men away.


2.Men are scared of being reminded who the boss is when they eventually marry you,so they are avoiding you like a plague.


3. U are not the only lady that will be dating men they are richer than and eventually marry most of their poor bf. But, u didn't give your male companions that chance to know u better, I mean, how long does it take to know someone? The impression u gave the 1st two week will make them want to know u better or not to(stay to know u or waste a time trying to know u).

Even if u are faking being good to them, they will love to stick longer to know if u are for real or fake. But if u are bad from the on set(personality being zero) they will not wait to see if u will change,because we can't change anyone .so, they just bolt


4. Our opinions might differ so, my assertions might add no water to your sense of reasoning.

Or maybe u present urself in a higher class than your suitors, dress the way u want them to address you.

He ll surely come my dear.. very soon....have faith

Lol

marshalcarter:
I earn 20k per month....marry me

Bloggers sabi lie o

chigoizie7:


Lol.



1. For u to even lie to yourself when u know the truth is enough to drive men away from u.(U know what I mean by "lie" to yourself).


2. @ early 30,its likely that men u were dating are between 35-40 or even above. Haven said this, such men are mature enough(wise/strong mind) to settle down.


3. They knew u had such job,posh car and classy apartment b4 they went into relationship with you, but could not stay to grow old with you, which means there is something wrong somewhere and that is. Certainly not about your career, but about your personality and how u see life in general.


4. I will quote u, "u were in a relationship with someone in your university days,but stopped when u tot it was affecting your academic life". U stopped doing something that makes u happy so that u can "achieve" your aims. Is it not being hypocritical on your part when u also said that u can not get a smaller car? If actually getting married is a priority? Just as your academic life back in skul, why not give a low life a chance?



5 if u could answer most of my questions truthfully, then, u will see that, it was not actually your career that is driving them away, but your person.




6. In the absence of all my assertions ^^^^, I will bring this stereotype to play. Women love "power more than anything in the world, forget "money", money is just a lather to climb up to power. From the way u have described yourself, u have more than enough,so, in extension, u also have the power, the question now is, "will u misuse it? YES you will, consciously or not, we all know women, they talk a lot,most times, it is just to win a quarrel which is inevitable in all marriages. Is the man willing to let his ego down? NO.




The summary of what I am saying is that.

1.It is never your career that is driving men away.


2.Men are scared of being reminded who the boss is when they eventually marry you,so they are avoiding you like a plague.


3. U are not the only lady that will be dating men they are richer than and eventually marry most of their poor bf. But, u didn't give your male companions that chance to know u better, I mean, how long does it take to know someone? The impression u gave the 1st two week will make them want to know u better or not to(stay to know u or waste a time trying to know u).

Even if u are faking being good to them, they will love to stick longer to know if u are for real or fake. But if u are bad from the on set(personality being zero) they will not wait to see if u will change,because we can't change anyone .so, they just bolt


4. Our opinions might differ so, my assertions might add no water to your sense of reasoning.

You have said it all...

No be you blow me dust last week for Ikotun and you expect me to marry you? Marry you in return for the dust you blow me or what?

Esthersblog:
Lol

me dey serious oo..make she no break ma heart oo cos if she try am...me go break her liver