Mindfulness:
I am neither a self-proclaimed advocate nor expert so I am asking the advocate and expert to educate me on the history of marriage and how divorce was never part of it. You are such a perfect role model for Christianity, you won't deny a request, will you?

You are free to take up marriage advocacy. And no, you are not an expert in marriage, just in wrecking them ! Request? From a blasphemer .

Mindfulness:
Let me help you, divorce has ALWAYS been an option in the history of marriage and exclusivity is tied to the Christian doctrine but not universal to all cultures.

Indeed, divorce is an option even in a Christian marriage - does that make divorce the intent, or a logical outcome? Or mean that divorce is a good or desired outcome?

And exclusivity/mongamy being the Christian way does not mean it is only the Christians that practice it. Secondly as you continue to demonstrate your self-seeking and unthinking approach, monagamy exists in pretty much all cultures.

Polygamy being permitted, does not mean it's mandated. And even where it is extant it is always taken up less than monogamy or no-marriage.

Polygamy may appear to make sense in certain s/t situations, but I consider it an abberation, and not benefitting society as monogamy does. Anyway, you are not concerned with monogamy or polygamy, or marriage as such, just justifying exercising your willful unthinking desires.

Mindfulness:
Bukatyne, go a few pages back and have a look at all the research cited there that disproves all the sentimental statements made on this thread, especially with regard to females and math.

I wanted to take the topic further and show how some initiatives narrowed the gender gap in several fields and subjects but someone ran away.

Initiative can indeed change the "gender gap" - they don't change the wirting of men and women. We call that social engineering. I'm always here if you have anything to say - especially where you mirepresent na=marriage or blasphem the bible.

You can't build true happiness on anothers sorrow.


Learner !


TV

TV01:

You are free to take up marriage advocacy. And no, you are not an expert in marriage, just in wrecking them ! Request? From a blasphemer .


Indeed, divorce is an option even in a Christian marriage - does that make divorce the intent, or a logical outcome? Or mean that divorce is a good or desired outcome?

Has anyone said that divorce is the intent or logical outcome of a marriage? Did anyone say that it is a desired outcome? I have not come across such a post, yet.

And exclusivity/mongamy being the Christian way does not mean it is only the Christians that practice it. Secondly as you continue to demonstrate your self-seeking and unthinking approach, monagamy exists in pretty much all cultures.

Polygamy being permitted, does not mean it's mandated. And even where it is extant it is always taken up less than monogamy or no-marriage.

Polygamy may appear to make sense in certain s/t situations, but I consider it an abberation, and not benefitting society as monogamy does. Anyway, you are not concerned with monogamy or polygamy, or marriage as such, just justifying exercising your willful unthinking desires.

Why is polygamy an aberration and not benefitting society?

Initiative can indeed change the "gender gap" - they don't change the wirting of men and women. We call that social engineering. I'm always here if you have anything to say - especially where you mirepresent na=marriage or blasphem the bible.

What wiring are you talking about?

You can't build true happiness on anothers sorrow.


Learner !


TV

The sorrows of other people are none of my business.

Kimoni:

yeye woman. How's baby E?
I think I should have called Phema too actually.
Sup Phema, did you see that advice from blustreak? From a man to a fellow man?

Well, the ladies have been wearing red pant and bra since 1601 BC. High time the men took over. It sure will look nice on their muscular and toned bodies.



OP, I sense lack of communication in your marriage. You say you've been married for 12years but cannot tell your wife exactly how you feel about what she is doing and you are here talking to total strangers.

You are beating about the bush by telling her that you are only not comfortable with the late night sms, meanwhile you are not comfortable with the friendship as a whole. Please, go and discuss with your wife and tell her exactly how you feel. Ask her why she has suddenly become friends with someone she once hated. Why she feels the need to text him often even as she claims to hate typing SMSs. Discuss.

I do not believe in having close opposite sex friends as a married man/woman, especially if your spouse is not comfortable with it.

Mindfulness:
Has anyone said that divorce is the intent or logical outcome of a marriage? Did anyone say that it is a desired outcome? I have not come across such a post, yet.

So what is your point prating on about it? In as much as there are narrow accomodations, they are not for frivolous or selfish reasons like "I loff and want him", even though he's been married for years and has children

Mindfulness:
Why is polygamy an aberration and not benefitting society?

In the Christian wolrdview it is an abberation. Who said it did not benefit society?

Mindfulness:
The sorrows of other people are none of my business.

Of course, that's why you keep quoting "love does no harm" and "love does not seek it's own", or "thinks no evil" or "is kind", from the Bible.


TV

TV01:

So what is your point prating on about it? In as much as there are narrow accomodations, they are not for frivolous or selfish reasons like "I loff and want him", even though he's been married for years and has children

Since when does a third party, a lover or a mistress, decide about divorce?

In the Christian wolrdview it is an abberation. Who said it did not benefit society?

In the Christian worldview but not all of us are Christians. And since not all of us are Christians, your Christianity based definition of what a marriage is or isn't is not universal and not mandatory and not necessarily better or superior or the only right one.

You said polygamy didn't benefit society, didn't you?

Another question TV, do you think monogamy is natural?

Of course, that's why you keep quoting "love does no harm" and "love does not seek it's own", or "thinks no evil" or "is kind", from the Bible.


TV

You asked for a definition of love in our discussion and I chose this one because I knew that you are a Christian. It does not mean that I agree with the definition, even though it is a nice one, must say. Like you said TV01, I am responsible for what I write, not what you read into it.

Mindfulness:


I am neither a self-proclaimed advocate nor expert so I am asking the advocate and expert to educate me on the history of marriage and how divorce was never part of it. You are such a perfect role model for Christianity, you won't deny a request, will you?

Let me help you, divorce has ALWAYS been an option in the history of marriage and exclusivity is tied to the Christian doctrine but not universal to all cultures.






Bukatyne, go a few pages back and have a look at all the research cited there that disproves all the sentimental statements made on this thread, especially with regard to females and math.

I wanted to take the topic further and show how some initiatives narrowed the gender gap in several fields and subjects but someone ran away.

Will do and holla you

goldfishsk:
I had given my wife all the liberty to use facebook, whatsapp and other internet applications.

Pls can u xplain d above? So are u saying u can stop her 4rm using dem? Is it a Master-Slave relationship?
As far as I know she has every right 2 use dem with or without ur permission.

Also seems u're not comfortable with d guy, just come out straight 2 her, she shud understd.

Mindfulness:
Since when does a third party, a lover or a mistress, decide about divorce?

Such a one is a co-conspirator - and should be charged as such in the event of an unjustified marital break-up. I was pleased to see in the other thread this still obtains in Nigeria .

Mindfulness:
In the Christian worldview but not all of us are Christians. And since not all of us are Christians, your Christianity based definition of what a marriage is or isn't is not universal and not mandatory and not necessarily better or superior or the only right one.

True, it is neither mandatory, nor universal - unfortunately for you warped outlook, it is certified the best form

Mindfulness:
You said polygamy didn't benefit society, didn't you?

No, I didn't

Mindfulness:
Another question TV, do you think monogamy is natural?

Don't derail - or otherwise try and justify your wicked ways - I'm finding it totally natural, optimal and rewarding. Happy to slut shame you if you like.

Mindfulness:
You asked for a definition of love in our discussion and I chose this one because I knew that you are a Christian. It does not mean that I agree with the definition, even though it is a nice one, must say. Like you said TV01, I am responsible for what I write, not what you read into it.

No - l requested your definition of love. Obviously, it has no basis in reason or morailty, so you disingenuously presented the biblical one as your own.

Think of the error of your ways. The damage you've done and the harm you've caused. Even non-Christians are blessed with a conscience


TV

TV01:

Such a one is a co-conspirator - and should be charged as such in the event of an unjustified marital break-up. I was pleased to see in the other thread this still obtains in Nigeria .


True, it is neither mandatory, nor universal - unfortunately for you warped outlook, it is certified the best form

No, I didn't

Don't derail - or otherwise try and justify your wicked ways - I'm finding it totally natural, optimal and rewarding. Happy to slut shame you if you like.
No - l requested your definition of love. Obviously, it has no basis in reason or morailty, so you disingenuously presented the biblical one as your own.

Think of the error of your ways. The damage you've done and the harm you've caused. Even non-Christians are blessed with a conscience


TV

In the name of Jesus. Amen.

goldfishsk:
I had given my wife all the liberty to use facebook, whatsapp and other internet applications. She is not a regular user of these applications. One of her co worker(married with one kid) whom she had a bad remark, like he is always chatting with some other lady who is also married. She had a negative remark of this person. After few months this guy turn to be in her friend circle and occasionally she used to tell me details which sounds different from earlier comments and sound good about that guy.

Later he started to sent 'Hi', 'How r u' etc in Whatsapp and facebook and she used to show me and reply with my permission. I took this as a good friendship and did not noticed much about it. In recent one month somehow I started checking the messages. The messages were normal and nothing sounds different.

He got another job and maintained this friendship. What surprised me us in addition to messages in facebook or whatsapp, they communicate also in SMS but content is very decent. The count of communication has increased and now a days she dont tell or show his messages may be she might be thinking that I am convinced of their friendship.

My wife basically hesitate to send messages if I ask to send details of any things to buy from shop and also was very cautious of not wasting money by SMS. But now she replies to all his SMS and not bothered about cost.

Few days back I openely discussed this with her and she told you can check our messages any time and there is nothing of bad nature. Also she said since I dont like this she will stop sending messages. infact he used to send messages between night 9.30 to 11. Since I objected she messaged him in front of me that not to send messages as I dont like that.

what worrying me is whether this communication continues and if the messages are deleted I wont come to know.

So far both of them have not dealt in a wrong way. Reading above what do you feel whether this is a good relation or shall I put constraints on it. Also how will I bring back my wife from this relation though it is not crossed boundaries so far

let me tel u frm experience,it's not advisable cos not all women can withstand d pressure involved esp via d soc media.i intentionally disabled my watsapp n fb cos i have more of male friends bcs of my job's nature.there is a compelling spirit bhind watsapp in particular dat promotes intimacy n demand for nude pix even as a married woman.u can hardly hav a decent chat wt opp sex.it's a crazy world we r living in.u only c d chats she wants u to c n delete implicating ones.many married women hav their nude pixes littered all ova d internet al sent via watsapp.i still have my hubby's woman friend explicit pix wt me but d hubby wil still c her as a saint.urs may not b exceptional.i can boast of being a no nonsense woman but at a point i was almost lured by my boss.it led to my disabling my watsapp n oda forms m claimed my phone was bad.every woman has a weak spot including urs.don't cr8 d room.

goldfishsk:
I had given my wife all the liberty to use facebook, whatsapp and other internet applications. She is not a regular user of these applications. One of her co worker(married with one kid) whom she had a bad remark, like he is always chatting with some other lady who is also married. She had a negative remark of this person. After few months this guy turn to be in her friend circle and occasionally she used to tell me details which sounds different from earlier comments and sound good about that guy.

Later he started to sent 'Hi', 'How r u' etc in Whatsapp and facebook and she used to show me and reply with my permission. I took this as a good friendship and did not noticed much about it. In recent one month somehow I started checking the messages. The messages were normal and nothing sounds different.

He got another job and maintained this friendship. What surprised me us in addition to messages in facebook or whatsapp, they communicate also in SMS but content is very decent. The count of communication has increased and now a days she dont tell or show his messages may be she might be thinking that I am convinced of their friendship.

My wife basically hesitate to send messages if I ask to send details of any things to buy from shop and also was very cautious of not wasting money by SMS. But now she replies to all his SMS and not bothered about cost.

Few days back I openely discussed this with her and she told you can check our messages any time and there is nothing of bad nature. Also she said since I dont like this she will stop sending messages. infact he used to send messages between night 9.30 to 11. Since I objected she messaged him in front of me that not to send messages as I dont like that.

what worrying me is whether this communication continues and if the messages are deleted I wont come to know.

So far both of them have not dealt in a wrong way. Reading above what do you feel whether this is a good relation or shall I put constraints on it. Also how will I bring back my wife from this relation though it is not crossed boundaries so far

Permission to respond to text message? Women are suffering o!

Ama80:
let me tel u frm experience,it's not advisable cos not all women can withstand d pressure involved esp via d soc media.i intentionally disabled my watsapp n fb cos i have more of male friends bcs of my job's nature.there is a compelling spirit bhind watsapp in particular dat promotes intimacy n demand for nude pix even as a married woman.u can hardly hav a decent chat wt opp sex.it's a crazy world we r living in.u only c d chats she wants u to c n delete implicating ones.many married women hav their nude pixes littered all ova d internet al sent via watsapp.i still have my hubby's woman friend explicit pix wt me but d hubby wil still c her as a saint.urs may not b exceptional.i can boast of being a no nonsense woman but at a point i was almost lured by my boss.it led to my disabling my watsapp n oda forms m claimed my phone was bad.every woman has a weak spot including urs.don't cr8 d room.

This is a guy masquerading as a woman. You want to ruin the OP marriage abi...Dont create room indeed. msheewwww