JustOzito:
I didn't know, thnks

Uwc

kilode100:
That your wife must be a learner.
Just negodu this golddigger?

How much of your money will be going into that joint account Mr brokeassman??

Smh*

See his mtn gworo stained he is using to thank nairalanders.. If I marry you eh, I go reformat, reboot and reshuffle that your yamayama head.


This Aunty has given this one license to cheat on her recklessly.

Na waoh
its like u dnt know d meaning of marriage

T

thotianna:

I was just about to say this.

OP's wife it sounds like your marriage is still young.
You see, the thing that makes women hide their money from husbands is because if they find out you have small money they will want you to spend it first and exhaust it before you ask them for theirs forgetting that it is their job to provide. Infact the more a woman has, the less willing the man is to provide anything for the family. So the woman ends up being both husband and wife, both provider and homemaker, hustler and childcarer, breadwinner and kitchen CEO.
Let me not draw wrong conclusions anyway.
@OP's wife: since you both are now operating a joint bank account and now jointly providing money for your needs, please ensure that you are also jointly running housechores and childcare and cooking.

I wish you happiness.

And she must go to mechanic too oh, do repairs in the house, fix light bulbs you know those little things men do that women conveniently forget like it does not exist and before you ask me if I am married and if my husband knows how much I earn? From the first day. It's a marriage what is the benefit of secrets? doesn't mean I don't know my role because I pay bills? Am I not an adult? In one breath we say the woman is not his property and in the next breath the man should take care of all the financial responsibilities without any contribution from the woman. Total BS. Smh

kilode100:
That your wife must be a learner.
Just negodu this golddigger?

How much of your money will be going into that joint account Mr brokeassman??

Smh*

See his mtn gworo stained he is using to thank nairalanders.. If I marry you eh, I go reformat, reboot and reshuffle that your yamayama head.


This Aunty has given this one license to cheat on her recklessly.

What works for one does not work for another doesn't mean she is a learner. She is putting her home first and they are figuring out what will work for them. We need to stop this behavior of putting everyone in a box and those that don't fit are ridiculed. I have always shared my finances with my hubby and we have been married more than 15 yrs now and u know what I know quite a few couples that their major problems are related to secrets regarding money. Money secrets broke my in-laws apart. Not worth it.

JustOzito:
I will not show my husband anything concerning my money. I don't want to kno his so he shudnt bother abt knowing mine. I only want him to provide his own quota to the family I'l gladly support him. Anyways Her family, her business. My life my business.

shikena!

But some men make one think twice b4 opening up to a man. I av an aunt whose father died and left her a land, and she decided to work on it. After showing her husband the plans drawn for the house, the husband stopped providing for her and children's feeding, clothing, etc and she can't even run to her husband for aid if she is broke. When the children ask for anything, the nxt thn is 'go to ur mother' even when he gives freely outsiders. U wld think some husbands dnt want their wives to do anything gud in life.
It's not gud to keep thns from one's spouse but some men wld use it against the woman shelving their duties, making the woman perform the role of both husband and wife in the family.
May God save one from men who take pride in irresponsibility.

HaneefahRN:
But some men make one think twice b4 opening up to a man. I av an aunt whose father died and left her a land, and she decided to work on it. After showing her husband the plans drawn for the house, the husband stopped providing for her and children's feeding, clothing, etc and she can't even run to her husband for aid if she is broke. When the children ask for anything, the nxt thn is 'go to ur mother' even when he gives freely outsiders. U wld think some husbands dnt want their wives to do anything gud in life.
It's not gud to keep thns from one's spouse but some men wld use it against the woman shelving their duties, making the woman perform the role of both husband and wife in the family.
May God save one from men who take pride in irresponsibility.

When a woman accept to marry a man, she's expected to value his position as the head of the family. Men has been raised as the Head of the home at least that's what the learnt from their respective household. You see, if a wife did anything in marital union against the knowledge of the husband it's understood by him as pure insubordination and lack of respect.

In this case, your aunt was using the husband as disposable income provider while her own money is being saved for capital venture. Your aunt husband spends a good fortune of his income servicing his responsibility while she hardly contributes but all of a sudden is now trying to go into capital project that's is supposedly not in his name. So the husband devised a means to manipulate her to spend her own stake on the family while he curtail and save for his own future project.

Their problem is TRUST ISSUES.

Your aunt believe that her money is hers to spend while the husband's money is for the family upkeep. If only she will carry the husband along and make him the chief PILOT in her house building project, then sanity will return.

freshvine:


When a woman accept to marry a man, she's expected to value his position as the head of the family. Men has been raised as the Head of the home at least that's what the learnt from their respective household. You see, if a wife did anything in marital union against the knowledge of the husband it's understood by him as pure insubordination and lack of respect.

In this case, your aunt was using the husband as disposable income provider while her own money is being saved for capital venture. Your aunt husband spends a good fortune of his income servicing his responsibility while she hardly contributes but all of a sudden is now trying to go into capital project that's is supposedly not in his name. So the husband devised a means to manipulate her to spend her own stake on the family while he curtail and save for his own future project.

Their problem is TRUST ISSUES.

Your aunt believe that her money is hers to spend while the husband's money is for the family upkeep. If only she will carry the husband along and make him the chief PILOT in her house building project, then sanity will return.

I try not to poke nose into their family affairs, but I relatively knw well abt them since I once lived wt them. Of course my aunt spend on the family even b4 then, she gives her own quota, feeding and clothing the family even beyond d allowances the man gives for the monthly upkeep wc is not even up to half of what is needed, she provides the provisions the children take to sch and also gives pocket money. I blive u dnt expect her to take up the children's sch fees too as a means of supporting her husband. They jointly bought her car. As regards a woman supporting a man financially, I give it to her.
I dnt see anything wrong with what she did, what of women that wld av completed the house or project b4 their husband even knows anything, but this woman shared her plans with the husband only for him to withdraw any form of financial wherewithal to keep the family's upkeep and became mean and all. If that isn't shelving his duties I dnt knw what it is. She hasn't been able to do anything reasonable on the land till nw, cos of the financial responsibilities she is facing alone. And financially the husband is ok even helps outsiders but I don't knw what his wife did to him o. The issue was putting ur trust in someone, seeking for support and advice on hw to do things, and being punished for it. And the husband is even a secretive being, anything he does, it's his wife that hears last, sometime even from a stranger. Their marriage sef. God I dnt pray for such o.
And what do u mean, doing it in her name, I don't get u. So when u marry or if u're married, if u were in her shoes, u wld av even handed the land over to him, made it in his name, and tell him to do whatever he wants with it.

HaneefahRN:

I try not to poke nose into their family affairs, but I relatively knw well abt them since I once lived wt them. Of course my aunt spend on the family even b4 then, she gives her own quota, feeding and clothing the family even beyond d allowances the man gives for the monthly upkeep wc is not even up to half of what is needed, she provides the provisions the children take to sch and also gives pocket money. I blive u dnt expect her to take up the children's sch fees too as a means of supporting her husband. They jointly bought her car. As regards a woman supporting a man financially, I give it to her.
I dnt see anything wrong with what she did, what of women that wld av completed the house or project b4 their husband even knows anything, but this woman shared her plans with the husband only for him to withdraw any form of financial wherewithal to keep the family's upkeep and became mean and all. If that isn't shelving his duties I dnt knw what it is. She hasn't been able to do anything reasonable on the land till nw, cos of the financial responsibilities she is facing alone. And financially the husband is ok even helps outsiders but I don't knw what his wife did to him o. The issue was putting ur trust in someone, seeking for support and advice on hw to do things, and being punished for it. And the husband is even a secretive being, anything he does, it's his wife that hears last, sometime even from a stranger. Their marriage sef. God I dnt pray for such o.
And what do u mean, doing it in her name, I don't get u. So when u marry or if u're married, if u were in her shoes, u wld av even handed the land over to him, made it in his name, and tell him to do whatever he wants with it.

You see there lies the issue.

I never expected you to judge on the favor of the man because your aunt is family. If I ask you about your dad now, you'd say he is an angel thrown from heaven just as you have absolved your aunt of any wrong doing.

The mentality your aunt have is what you've exhibited on your last paragraph. What happens in joint ownership of properties with the Mr. and Mrs. title? Are they not suppose to be one till date or isn't their children going to inherit it?

Tomorrow you'll open a thread here to claim abandonment when your husband become smart due to your deception.

SURElee:
God bless you, bless your wife, kids and everything/projects you embark upon. Show her my msg, am proud always of humble, loyal and supportive women as wives.

God bless you dear. You are one of the reasonable ladies on this thread.

freshvine:


You see there lies the issue.

I never expected you to judge on the favor of the man because your aunt is family. If I ask you about your dad now, you'd say he is an angel thrown from heaven just as you have absolved your aunt of any wrong doing.

The mentality your aunt have is what you've exhibited on your last paragraph. What happens in joint ownership of properties with the Mr. and Mrs. title? Are they not suppose to be one till date or isn't their children going to inherit it?

Tomorrow you'll open a thread here to claim abandonment when your husband become smart due to your deception.

I love your perspective.

freshvine:


You see there lies the issue.

I never expected you to judge on the favor of the man because your aunt is family. If I ask you about your dad now, you'd say he is an angel thrown from heaven just as you have absolved your aunt of any wrong doing.

The mentality your aunt have is what you've exhibited on your last paragraph. What happens in joint ownership of properties with the Mr. and Mrs. title? Are they not suppose to be one till date or isn't their children going to inherit it?

Tomorrow you'll open a thread here to claim abandonment when your husband become smart due to your deception.

To be sincere I'm being as open minded abt the 2 of them as can be. I'm nt trying to take sides, cos I like being on the fence most times anyway unless necessary.
Personally, I see nothing wrong abt joint ownership of things, but is the husband ready to do anything jointly wt her? A man that built a house and it was a stranger that told the wife abt it, or the myriads of land he has wc his wife wldn't av known abt if nt for some members of his extended family that told her abt them. A man who the wife gave money to, to buy a land for her, bought the land and stepped on it, she doesn't even know the location of a land she paid for. A man who neither his wife nor children are his next of kin. How can u be open with someone that is secretive? So it is that kind of man u expect the wife to hand over the only land she has to in the name of doin somethn jointly? And I avn't seen how what she did is deception, her dad died and willed her a land and she discussed her plans abt the land wt her husband, hw is that deception?
And no, I can't say my dad is an angel ryt from heaven cos he also has his own flaws but he is better off.

HaneefahRN:

To be sincere I'm being as open minded abt the 2 of them as can be. I'm nt trying to take sides, cos I like being on the fence most times anyway unless necessary.
Personally, I see nothing wrong abt joint ownership of things, but is the husband ready to do anything jointly wt her? A man that built a house and it was a stranger that told the wife abt it, or the myriads of land he has wc his wife wldn't av known abt if nt for some members of his extended family that told her abt them. A man who the wife gave money to, to buy a land for her, bought the land and stepped on it. A man who neither his wife nor children are his next of kin. How can u be open with someone that is secretive? So it is that kind of man u expect the wife to hand over the only land she has to in the name of doin somethn jointly? And I avn't seen how what she did is deception, her dad died and willed her a land and she discussed her plans abt the land wt her husband, hw is that deception?
And no, I can't say my dad is an angel ryt from heaven cos he also has his own flaws but he is better off.

Like I said : Trust issues.

If this man did all this things you enumerated, then something is wrong with the marriage.
1. The man doubt the paternity of his kids ( so he doesn't know who to will his property to)

2. Your aunt have been behaving funny with him threatening to leave with her children so he decides it is best to will off his investment. Fathers hate it when their grown blood turn against them because of their wives brainwashing them.

3. He suspect your aunt is cheating or not being real to the marriage.

If non of the above is the case, I suppose that man need help. You guys should chain him and take him in for deliverance

kilode100:
That your wife must be a learner.
Just negodu this golddigger?

How much of your money will be going into that joint account Mr brokeassman??

Smh*

See his mtn gworo stained he is using to thank nairalanders.. If I marry you eh, I go reformat, reboot and reshuffle that your yamayama head.


This Aunty has given this one license to cheat on her recklessly.

Children from broken homes.

freshvine:


Like I said : Trust issues.

If this man did all this things you enumerated, then something is wrong with the marriage.
1. The man doubt the paternity of his kids ( so he doesn't know who to will his property to)

2. Your aunt have been behaving funny with him threatening to leave with her children so he decides it is best to will off his investment. Fathers hate it when their grown blood turn against them because of their wives brainwashing them.

3. He suspect your aunt is cheating or not being real to the marriage.

If non of the above is the case, I suppose that man need help. You guys should chain him and take him in for deliverance

I know if u know this family u wnt judge her like that. The wife is the kind of person even outsiders are ready and willing to put their trust in, even mere colleagues. None of the listed is true. Sincerely, it's even cos of her children she has been enduring the marriage. And he is the kind of person that places his extended family above his wife, even the most distant of them all. He'll tell his wife of over 15yrs blood is thicker than water. Even if the children avn't eaten and a full grown family of his come, he'll rather give that family. And God help the wife make she talk where they are doing family meeting, she'll hear the history of her life. One of his extended family, a full grown man with his own family who doesn't even send anybody is his next of kin rather than his wife and children. Even at the early stages of their marriage, he once told the wife to remove her thns from her only box for his sister to take to sch. He doesn't beat her physically but the psychological abuse is there. As in I always pity her and pray for her.
The last part of ur reply is more like it.
I think from all I av said u shld get a picture of wht she is going thru, all we av to do is to pray for a person that best completes one not someone who will derive pleasure in seeing some1 sad who has no understanding of one's feelings

Understanding is the key here...

HaneefahRN:

To be sincere I'm being as open minded abt the 2 of them as can be. I'm nt trying to take sides, cos I like being on the fence most times anyway unless necessary.
Personally, I see nothing wrong abt joint ownership of things, but is the husband ready to do anything jointly wt her? A man that built a house and it was a stranger that told the wife abt it, or the myriads of land he has wc his wife wldn't av known abt if nt for some members of his extended family that told her abt them. A man who the wife gave money to, to buy a land for her, bought the land and stepped on it, she doesn't even know the location of a land she paid for. A man who neither his wife nor children are his next of kin. How can u be open with someone that is secretive? So it is that kind of man u expect the wife to hand over the only land she has to in the name of doin somethn jointly? And I avn't seen how what she did is deception, her dad died and willed her a land and she discussed her plans abt the land wt her husband, hw is that deception?

And no, I can't say my dad is an angel ryt from heaven cos he also has his own flaws but he is better off.

Walahi your anty no try. Since she knows what kind of man her husband is she should have kept it to herself.

freshvine:


You see there lies the issue.

I never expected you to judge on the favor of the man because your aunt is family. If I ask you about your dad now, you'd say he is an angel thrown from heaven just as you have absolved your aunt of any wrong doing.

The mentality your aunt have is what you've exhibited on your last paragraph. What happens in joint ownership of properties with the Mr. and Mrs. title? Are they not suppose to be one till date or isn't their children going to inherit it?

Tomorrow you'll open a thread here to claim abandonment when your husband become smart due to your deception.

When your wife's father or mother leaves her a property, do not covet it. Work hard so that you can leave properties for your kids too. Shikenna.

freshvine:


Like I said : Trust issues.

If this man did all this things you enumerated, then something is wrong with the marriage.
1. The man doubt the paternity of his kids ( so he doesn't know who to will his property to)

2. Your aunt have been behaving funny with him threatening to leave with her children so he decides it is best to will off his investment. Fathers hate it when their grown blood turn against them because of their wives brainwashing them.

3. He suspect your aunt is cheating or not being real to the marriage.

If non of the above is the case, I suppose that man need help. You guys should chain him and take him in for deliverance

You sound more ridiculous with each of your replies.
How about the only thing is that something is wrong with the man. No need to parambulate. The man is clearly sick. If u suspect your kids are not yours, paternity test is there. If he suspect his wife is cheating on her, confront her or catch her red handed and end the marriage.
Dunno how the man can have a rest of mind, knowing that if anything happens to him, his kids are not well catered for.

HaneefahRN:

I know if u know this family u wnt judge her like that. The wife is the kind of person even outsiders are ready and willing to put their trust in, even mere colleagues. None of the listed is true. Sincerely, it's even cos of her children she has been enduring the marriage. And he is the kind of person that places his extended family above his wife, even the most distant of them all. He'll tell his wife of over 15yrs blood is thicker than water. Even if the children avn't eaten and a full grown family of his come, he'll rather give that family. And God help the wife make she talk where they are doing family meeting, she'll hear the history of her life. One of his extended family, a full grown man with his own family who doesn't even send anybody is his next of kin rather than his wife and children. Even at the early stages of their marriage, he once told the wife to remove her thns from her only box for his sister to take to sch. He doesn't beat her physically but the psychological abuse is there. As in I always pity her and pray for her.
The last part of ur reply is more like it.
I think from all I av said u shld get a picture of wht she is going thru, all we av to do is to pray for a person that best completes one not someone who will derive pleasure in seeing some1 sad who has no understanding of one's feelings

Your aunt is better off with no husband.

fem29:


Walahi your anty no try. Since she knows what kind of man her husband is she should have kept it to herself.

Abi o, finally, someone who gets my point. The moral of all my story is, the woman shld knw the kind of husband she has well b4 opening all her case files for him. Not every woman is lucky in the marriage institution

Askseek:
T

And she must go to mechanic too oh, do repairs in the house, fix light bulbs you know those little things men do that women conveniently forget like it does not exist and before you ask me if I am married and if my husband knows how much I earn? From the first day. It's a marriage what is the benefit of secrets? doesn't mean I don't know my role because I pay bills? Am I not an adult? In one breath we say the woman is not his property and in the next breath the man should take care of all the financial responsibilities without any contribution from the woman. Total BS. Smh

I don't understand. So you are your husband's property because he takes care of most of your financial responsibilities? Safe to say a child who is responsible for his aged parents' finances can call his parents his properties?

You are getting it wrong. Most men shy away from housechores or childcare because they believe their only responsibility is financial provision. While the woman is responsible for the housekeeping, child care and other stuff. Really I could care less if a home is ran like this, if the wife is a full housewife. Because the wife can't bring any physical thing to the table per se
But if you as a husband is demanding to split bills with your wife ( am talking about the woman adding something very substantial), then be ready to split other household duties with her. Because if she helps you with your duties, the responsible thing is help her with hers too

DollyParton1:

You sound more ridiculous with each of your replies.
How about the only thing is that something is wrong with the man. No need to parambulate. The man is clearly sick. If u suspect your kids are not yours, paternity test is there. If he suspect his wife is cheating on her, confront her or catch her red handed and end the marriage.
Dunno how the man can have a rest of mind, knowing that if anything happens to him, his kids are not well catered for.

It cld be cos the woman's children are all female tho, 4 gals, didn't knw some men still take the children's gender to @, it's a wonder he hasn't gotten a 2nd wife. But nt to paint him in a totally bad lyt, he pays their sch fees and some other fees albeit partly. Thank God the girls are doin well, the 1st born recently got admitted in one of the prestigious unis for nursing.

HaneefahRN:

It cld be cos the woman's children are all female tho, 4 gals, didn't knw some men still take the children's gender to @, it's a wonder he hasn't gotten a 2nd wife. But nt to paint him in a totally bad lyt, he pays their sch fees and some other fees albeit partly. Thank God the girls are doin well, the 1st born recently got admitted in one of the prestigious unis for nursing.

Even that makes him more stupiid.
So because they are all girls, that makes them a lesser human being?
It is his responsibility to pay all their fees if he has the money. So paying half of their fees while being a father Christmas to his extended and distant family members means he is totally bad.

Lmao.
HaneefahRN

You go explain tire.

Your aunt opened up about her finances while the man is acquiring props only in his own name yet she's the bad one.
Or maybe she cheated on him and gave him other men's kid. Just find somewhere to pin it on your aunt that she's the problem with the marriage.
If you don't accept that the matter won't end.

Anyway goodluck to her.
It would have been worse if she can't support herself. But since she can, she should continue doing her thing. It will clear from his eyes one day.

HaneefahRN:

I try not to poke nose into their family affairs, but I relatively knw well abt them since I once lived wt them. Of course my aunt spend on the family even b4 then, she gives her own quota, feeding and clothing the family even beyond d allowances the man gives for the monthly upkeep wc is not even up to half of what is needed, she provides the provisions the children take to sch and also gives pocket money. [size=15pt]I blive u dnt expect her to take up the children's sch fees too as a means of supporting her husband[/size]. They jointly bought her car. As regards a woman supporting a man financially, I give it to her.
[size=15pt]I dnt see anything wrong with what she did, what of women that wld av completed the house or project b4 their husband even knows anything[/size], but this woman shared her plans with the husband only for him to withdraw any form of financial wherewithal to keep the family's upkeep and became mean and all. If that isn't shelving his duties I dnt knw what it is. She hasn't been able to do anything reasonable on the land till nw, cos of the financial responsibilities she is facing alone.

You read those 2 sentences and you dont think the woman has issues?

DollyParton1:


I don't understand. So you are your husband's property because he takes care of most of your financial responsibilities? Safe to say a child who is responsible for his aged parents' finances can call his parents his properties?

You are getting it wrong. Most men shy away from housechores or childcare because they believe their only responsibility is financial provision. While the woman is responsible for the housekeeping, child care and other stuff. Really I could care less if a home is ran like this, if the wife is a full housewife. Because the wife can't bring any physical thing to the table per se
But if you as a husband is demanding to split bills with your wife ( am talking about the woman adding something very substantial), then be ready to split other household duties with her. Because if she helps you with your duties, the responsible thing is help her with hers too

they split bills, the wife does childcare, the man does the heavy lifting like fixing cars, fixing electrical, and plumbing issues cut the lawn etc

How is that not sharing responsibilities

cococandy:

Lmao.
HaneefahRN

You go explain tire.

Your aunt opened up about her finances while the man is acquiring props only in his own name yet she's the bad one.
Or maybe she cheated on him and gave him other men's kid. Just find somewhere to pin it on your aunt that she's the problem with the marriage.
If you don't accept that the matter won't end.

Anyway goodluck to her.
It would have been worse if she can't support herself. But since she can, she should continue doing her thing. It will clear from his eyes one day.

Abi o my sister, I'm finding it hard to blive I had been answering a woman since sef, me sef get time o, sha trying to put the blame on the woman. Yes, u are ryt, she also taught me a lesson that a woman must know what she is doing.

DollyParton1:

Even that makes him more stupiid.
So because they are all girls, that makes them a lesser human being?
It is his responsibility to pay all their fees if he has the money. So paying half of their fees while being a father Christmas to his extended and distant family members means he is totally bad.

sadly that's the life some women live

raumdeuter:


You read those 2 sentences and you dont think the woman has issues?

Wc woman?

HaneefahRN:

Abi o my sister, I'm finding it hard to blive I had been answering a woman since sef, me sef get time o, sha trying to put the blame on the woman. Yes, u are ryt, she also taught me a lesson that a woman must know what she is doing.

Nairaland?

Man or woman? With nairalanders No one knows.

I could be a man for all you know. Don't look at the F in my moniker.

raumdeuter:


You read those 2 sentences and you dont think the woman has issues?

She is a Muslimah and Muslimahs are not mandated to/do not contribute financially in their homes

(What I gathered from the Islamic board)