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House Help Abuse: Why Some Nigerian Wives Won't Make Heaven / "I Caught My Wife & Driver Making Love In My House" - Lagos Businessman / Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by maputohq: 9:25pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
fr3do:First sensible comment. 2 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by mradjoy(m): 9:28pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Momcherry:Ah aha Mommy Sheri wetin ur husband wan do with a 15 year old girl, abeg I be man too o, we no be dog na, ah ah what happin na? 5 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by bellong: 9:28pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
5minsmadness: Alright.... Don't need a support though... There was no reason for any insinuation. The Op never complained of her husband molesting or harassing the girl. If she wouldn't leave a 25yr old with her husband no matter how holy, she could have kept it to herself. No need for the suggestive comment. And I don't think my response was rude. Thanks 8 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Nobody: 9:29pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
OP you're a careless woman and that girl actually did you a big favour, she could have had se.x with your husband or kidnapped your baby |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by jasper83: 9:30pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Fast forward to this time, d official assignment that would take me away from the country was close. I couldn't risk leaving her in Lagos with my super active toddler for almost two weeks that I would be away. I had to take them to my husband. Early on Thursday, 19th, I received a call that my girl had left home with her belongings and she left a note that she was angry with me that I did not let her go to school and that if not that she loved my son ehn..... My husband's job is a shift- based job and he was on night duty to be back home by 8am the morning she left. A neighbour called my husband who was at work that the girl took my son to them very early in d morning that we sent her on an errand and that they should borrow her N500. They took my son from her and told her to wait for my husband to return. They said they did not know when she left. The girl scattered the whole house took all the pieces of meat in d pot, the juice packs at home. I Knew she wouldn't get money, my husband isn't as careless. My husband spoke with her mum that didn't sound surprised and all she said was that she would scold her when the girl comes home. Yes, d girl is home now. I was devastated and destabilized for two days. I never ever maltreated this girl. My conscience is as clear as a gallon of distilled water. Well, my son is now with my mum. My mum also spoke with her mum that the girl said neighbors were calling her omo-odo (house girl). She left the 6th day she got there. We stay in a compound of 5 flats where everyone minds his business. So who called her a house-girl. I think the mistake we made was that we got her a phone and even loaded the phone. My husband said he noticed she was always calling someone and he once heard her telling the receiver the address of where she was. I really wish to visit her mum when I return and I hope to see her and ask her questions. I really appreciate my family for staying with me throughout this period and I'm glad I'm not hypertensive maybe I'd have lost this pregnancy. And I thank God most that she didn't hurt my son because I never hurt her. Well, it's all good. Life goes on. I am not trying to discourage people from getting house helps.... @Op I really feel your pain from the bad experience you had as regards your house help. But some salient points needs to be raised here, irrespective of what you do for people a human being is still and will remain a human being. The young girl in question felt cheated that while will she be denied education! Remember this is city where education is priced. Forget that thing that they are poor, poverty those not take away common sense all the time. Even if you don't adopt her she may probably still find her way round school may be as an external candidate of sort. So you sending her to a conventional schooling method for her may not necessarily be viewed as a privileged by her. Hence the reason she absconded. Now considering the nature of job and that of your husby which gives little or no time to properly manage the home I doubt if any future househelp will want you to trade her going to school with your own career arrangements. It will surely backlash again, or what would you do if she is writing her exams nko? And how long do you wish to do this? Why not speak to your husband for two of you to review your work life, child rearing is serious work my sister. Ask our mothers then how they mould us in the 80's and be assured they gave us 100percent dedication that's why we panned out to be of good morals today. Everything is not money! Social vices abound nowadays that kids pick up things easily, let monitor our kids so as to give us peace of mind tomorrow. As my granny will say " always put yourself in a position in life where money is the one looking for you and not the other way round", So sorry for my epistle, it is well. 6 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by maputohq: 9:31pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
shndy:Another sensible comment. 3 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by bettercreature(m): 9:33pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
gabinogem:It is not possible to survive without house help,she just need to find a better one |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by maputohq: 9:34pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Sh0llypopz:Another sensible post. 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Jetjacky(m): 9:37pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291:you also are very detailed to what you and what you did not do for her... And I'm sure if she had done you wrong you wouldnt have forgotten, perhaps wouldnt have forgiven. I do not support what that girl did, totally not. But change your heart (we dont need to know all you did for her for you to win our gratitude, concern, affection. Whatever terminology that you can deal with) pride and ego are mistakened for right and proper |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by jasper83: 9:38pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
@Op I really feel your pain from the bad experience you had as regards your house help. But some salient points needs to be raised here, irrespective of what you do for people a human being is still and will remain a human being. The young girl in question felt cheated that while will she be denied education! Remember this is city where education is priced. Forget that thing that they are poor, poverty those not take away common sense all the time. Even if you don't adopt her she may probably still find her way round school may be as an external candidate of sort. So you sending her to a conventional schooling method for her may not necessarily be viewed as a privileged by her. Hence the reason she absconded. Now considering the nature of job and that of your husby which gives little or no time to properly manage the home I doubt if any future househelp will want you to trade her going to school with your own career arrangements. It will surely backlash again, or what would you do if she is writing her exams nko? And how long do you wish to do this? Why not speak to your husband for two of you to review your work life, child rearing is serious work my sister. Ask our mothers then how they mould us in the 80's and be assured they gave us 100percent dedication that's why we panned out to be of good morals today. Everything is not money! Social vices abound nowadays that kids pick up things easily, let monitor our kids so as to give us peace of mind tomorrow. As my granny will say " always put yourself in a position in life where money is the one looking for you and not the other way round", So sorry for my epistle, it is well.[/quote] |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by kweenkong(f): 9:45pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
I am tired of hearing this same arguments all the time. I don't think a 15 year old girl is too young to assist in the home. If she was the posters child shey the mom will be doing house chores and the daughter will sit down or taking care of a younger one is a big deal. And u all keep wondering why our girls are not better prepared to be wives and mothers. On this same forum your see women being bashed everyday for choosing to stay at home and take care of there kids instead of pursuing a career or starting a business. Not all women can be mediorce in there choosen field, should she sabotage her growth in the office so she is labeled a good wife. I really don't understand anymore 7 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by chloride6: 9:46pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Sh0llypopz: God will bless you for your analysis. Toying with the girls education...nonsense 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Osolo1(m): 9:47pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Ok I have read lots of good comments here need I just add,if you'll need someone to babysit while you're at work,get a creche close to your place of work or better still get an elderly nanny.Am totally against using anyone below the age of eighteen as a help in the house (there is a law against it in this country)Last line,if you cannot afford to pay professionals to do your home chores for you,then please consider enlisting part time people who can do tedious home chores on weekends. 6 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by chinchum(m): 9:48pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291:most young househelps are hypersensitive and believe you will maltreat them or are maltreating them, they are psychologically distorted even if you treat him/her fairly. Of a truth , every child is better of under his/her parents, no matter how poor the parents are. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by BTT(m): 9:53pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Well, this is your version of the story. By this report I still have blames for you still. The girl was right by calling off the contract. -you agreed she would be going to school in Lagos, so why was she to be trsfd off Lagos and school without holding a proper conversation with her? All the best, lady. Call us for chicken when cutie arrives. Cheers. 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by chloride6: 9:54pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Does your child go to a government school? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by BTT(m): 9:54pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Well, this is your version of the story. By this report I still have blames for you still. The girl was right by calling off the contract. -you agreed she would be going to school in Lagos, so why was she to be trsfd off Lagos and school without holding a proper conversation with her? All the best, lady. Invite us for chicken when cutie arrives. Cheers. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Barney11: 9:54pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Some women get mind sha,leaving ur young family for two weeks!oga is busy,madam is very busy,baba that money ur hustling for is it more important?abeg look for a job that will allow you to be with ur family ESP wen ur Oga is super busy. 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by texazzpete(m): 9:57pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
gabinogem: Why don't you keep quiet? You're such a Nasty, grimy little fellow. Women make these sacrifices to manage their careers and family, and it's a balancing act that we should not shame or guilt-trip them about. Rubbish 5 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Acidosis(m): 10:00pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Of what use is this form of marriage for God's sake? 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by id4sho(m): 10:02pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Get a matured woman between 50-65 to your nanny. Preferably older than yourself and hubby. best morning to evening shift ,she should sleepover when u travel out. I think u would hav time for family and career ............gudluckk |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Psoul(m): 10:07pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
I dnt buy d idea of those tellin u not to go to d mother. U went to dem wen u wanted d girl. U still need to go dia and explain tins to dem and let u and dem confirm dat d girl has come bak to dem in case of 2moro dey'll accuse u and even said u neva cared 2 come. It may be hard 4 u explain ur reason den. Majority of househelps 2day r evil. Imagine, a househelp forced a stone into d anus of a toddler under her care. Her reason is dat d baby poo a lot. Anoda one fed a baby with some quantities of kerosene alleging dat her aunty used to beat her. Well 4 us we r lucky wt d one living wt us. Though we dnt take ha as a house help. She's lik a daughter. Her parents (4rm Nasarawa State) gave her to my wife(Igbo lady) as a gift after ha Youth service dia. As at den we wia not yet married. Dey love my wife and asked her to make d girl be like herself. D girl was 5yrs den(2010). D girl takes care of our kids even more dan we d parents. 7 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by flamingREED(m): 10:07pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Okay. All those on the front page speaking against house-helps, imagine the helps are one of your own, would you easily degrade them the same way? Or, are you people trying to imply that your adolescence was saintly? Does being a house help automatically translate adolescents to adults? Even the lady complaining, if you're wanting in parent-craft, your own kids will do worse to you. Fine. Some helps may even be witches or wizards, okay. Are our own biological children free from witchcraft and the occult? Forgive the lass and move on. It's not the reason you people will condemn every help in hostile generic terms. Every child has a right to good life and environment. I bet you that the same help might live with someone else and not dream of leaving. Onesimus was a thorn to Philemon, but living with Paul the apostle turned him into a saintly servant. Did your husband bother to caution her when he noticed her odd calls? The heart of the young are like bare earth which must grow weed and thorns if not catered/cared for. I have heard of such horrible helps, but the attitude of some help mistresses is hateful. I'm not in support of the maid's misconduct a bit, yet I condemn the generalised condemnation meted out on helps in this thread. There are good helps, besides. Choose mature helps today 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by xtervaganza(m): 10:09pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
gabinogem:FALSE we once had a house help whom we named blessing ( may you see help and blessing all the days of your life) this girl is just everything. Smart, intelligent, hardworking and above all I've never met a bigger clown than her (despite being a joker myself). This girl would make everyone of us laugh so hard I cried bitterly when that bastard woman took her away when I even promised to double her money How I wish I knew where blessing is now. I would kidnap her and report my good intentions about her to the police station 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by godwin120alex: 10:13pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Madam just thank ur God cos some of d househelp can be bad whether treated well or not |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by treach(m): 10:13pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
gabinogem:Ur right abt child spacing.. Bt I feel, dat d factor surrounding nt following d rules is cos of Age... Most Nigerians marry late.... 2 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Acidosis(m): 10:14pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
The F.G needs to do something fast about under age nannies & career centred couples. If you know you cannot manage your career and your family, then don't even think about getting married. I think the institution called marriage should be the sole right of couples who are willing to give their offsprings adequate attention. Marriage is not a must, you should have stayed SINGLE. There is no dignity in avoidable stress. Nigeria needs to quickly utilize the Saudi Arabia strategy. Married women should be banned from taking on difficult and time consuming jobs. For those who want the stress, they should stay off marriage. I don't know why I hate young couples who live apart. I see them as desperate folks whose interests lie on WEDDING RING & MONEY. 3 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by netcomms(m): 10:21pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
you are lucky that your house help did not disappear with your son..................... http://neonetwirelessng..com.ng/2015/11/scholarship-in-practical-icttelecoms.html |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Thelma110(f): 10:26pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Thank God she didn't hurt your son. That would have been worse. As long as you know you didn't do anything to warrant her misbehavior, try to forget the episode. Anyone who decides to get a house help must do so with prayers and must remain prayerful. The devil use a lot of them to cause havoc and only a few of them appreciate what you do to help them. You must be very devastated considering how well u tried to treat her. It is well. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by soonest(f): 10:31pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Sh0llypopz:Howz op getting a better deal? Won't you calculate her feeding, clothing, housing, transportation, nuisance value and as you said all and sundry. 2 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by drnoel: 10:33pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Madam no vex but no house help. The atrocities they cause are more than the good. Imagine ur house help leave ur toddler with neighbours? I almost fainted hearing that. No mata how bad or difficult our kids stay with our parents. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by dyn1800: 10:35pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Ahahahahhhahahshshshshshahahahgsgs. Funny guy what are you insinuating..... Anyways he still be of help in the topping up things you know ITbomb: |
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