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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / This Is What My House Help Did To Me (93449 Views)
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Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by noblegrex: 10:38pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
5minsmadness:you have a house help of 15yrs taking your son to school and back from school and you think there's no need to get her a phone... |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by soonest(f): 10:38pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
chloride6:Is she the child's mother? 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by mickey45: 10:40pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Perhaps a distant relation will do this better? |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by dyn1800: 10:41pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
From your statement your family never sees Blessing as an house help but part of the family.... Some bosses are extremely terrible. God bless your family xtervaganza: 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by chivision: 10:42pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
This is very unfortunate! Sorry dear! |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by dyn1800: 10:43pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Have you ever put yourself in the position of an house help before ? soonest: 2 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by LEXYCOM: 10:43pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
So I wasted my time to read dis shit......I even thought ur house girl slept with ur husband and u caught dem.... Na this small tin she do u and u dey cry... 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by ststyreal(f): 10:44pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Pidggin:Please come again!!! what did you just say? Akwaibom or what ![]() ![]() |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by bellville: 10:51pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
She left your home because she shouldn't be there in the first place. She's just 15 and should be with her parents. I don't believe in "live with me, I send you to school" ish. Let every child stay with their parents. If you need a househelp, employ mature persons (21 and above). I'm sorry for being blunt. I once worked as a live out househelp just after secondary school. I was 15. I didn't like the idea and left unannounced. The woman visited my home to know my reason for leaving. No reason. I picked up an assistant teacher job instead. Though the pay was lower, I had time to hang out with my friends and act like a child. Today, I'm married with two kids. I have never considered having a househelp. I use creche/afterschool services and pay an elderly woman to help with weekend chores. If I have to travel, I take the kids to my mum or mother-in-law. Rukemi291: 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by francizy(m): 10:51pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Are housemaids domestic terrorists? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Oketwin(m): 10:56pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Madam u have told us your side of the story pls how do we get d side of d supposed maid so we can know the both side of the story 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by zutadire: 11:02pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
I will simply advise you take sometime off job so you can have time with your family while looking for another help. But this time do it prayerfully and don't rush into accepting any one out of desdesperation. Searching prayerfully is what I always do and it works for me. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Nobody: 11:03pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
ITbomb: To. take good care of the unborn |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by meemeetruth(f): 11:20pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
![]() 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Abbey2sam(m): 11:23pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: This story is seriously none of my business Is nairaland now a diary? BTW, how can your heart be that clean Even the person that invented the Nigeria vs India fabu will be surprise at this your lie Let other people's 15 yrs old child stay with them, employ a matured maid if you must get one, the story is also one sided where you painted yourself as a saint, maybe you should open a nairaland acct for the girl to come and tell us her own side of the story Bullshyt 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Orkpekyandega(m): 11:26pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Rukemi291: Its quit unfortunate the househelp misunderstood your good intentions for her. There is this ill feeling, children always have when they have to live with people other than their parents. They always believe such persons will always maltreat them, no mattrer what you do. I always advise people to get househelps from any of their relatives, with a strong warning that you will always discipline them just like your children. Forget all these stories about child spacing bla bla bla. Some people just feel others also have the same work environment and challenges just as theirs. You need to give birth early so as to train you children properly, now that you are still strong physically and financially, not untill you retire. I can tell the nature of your job from your signature. Lol 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by vexing(m): 11:33pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
First of all I was shock to have read this from nairaland. From d story I could guess that this lady is a colleague of mine in the office. I am shock myself because I know this house maid. She is very quiet and beside my colleague is very nice. Anyway we will talk when you get back to naija only that I may not be in d office then. Take heart. Its one of those things. On a lighter mood so this is ur moniker on nairaland. I don catch you today |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by porka: 11:44pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Did you explain the circumstance of her 'temporary' relocation to her properly? From what you have narrated here, it doesn't seem she understood the nexus between going to Lagos for 'education' and suddenly finding herself in a four-hour drive city away from Lagos and out of school. No matter how 'poor' you said the family is, she's not as stupid as you think. She was looking for an opportunity and not to be used. As 'rich' as you are, you won't want to be used by your EMPLOYER. Giving her a phone, loading it with credit and stuffs are to aid her take care of your child better to ease communication with you. Expecting her not to use it to call a 'male' friend is just very unrealistic in 2015. That would be living in an Hammurabi Era. It's like your company expecting you not to visit your friends or family while you are on your 'numerous' tours outside the country. From all indications, she did carry-out her assigned duties, dropping and picking your baby from his school plus some other chores. But the issue is her going to a far away city with a single man and out of the terms of her leaving home. It was considerate of her to have taken your son to the neighbors. Any smart person will do a similar thing - minus the threat to harm your son. No one wants to be used. Not many people can be caged for 26 years and get liberated from slavery when they are 40 years old. You just have to move on with your life. Every human is bound by his/her own conscience. A house help is generally referred to as omo odo in Yoruba. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Zuris: 11:50pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Sh0llypopz: Was she forced into child labour? If the arrangements did not favour her, why did she agree to it? Is it not better for her to stay with her poverty stricken family than to turn herself to a thief? The problem with people like you and the omo odo thief is you want immediate gratification. Can she quantify the opportunity she was given to be able to educate herself and become a better person in the future? I hope she will eat the meat and drink the juice forever as that seems to be the solution to her problems. 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by dennisbee(m): 12:05am On Nov 24, 2015 |
I love Nairaland! Whenever I visit Nairaland, I LEARN. I just read, learn and walk away. But I'll say something today. @shollypops, I love your analysis, and I believe there was a communication lapse between op and the 15yr old girl. That's one. Secondly, I also believe the girl wasn't comfortable in her new location. Perhaps, the kind of jobs or errands she was attending to under her new "OGA" must have startled her. Maybe oga wasn't treating her the way madam used to treat her. It's possible oga shouts or curses when she makes a little mistake. Many things we may never know becos she's not here to tell her story. Also her mum must have told her confidentially b4 she was taken away that if for any reason she wasn't registered in school that she should find her way back home. After all that was the agreement. So the little girl felt that that was the end of her schooling and so had to find her way back to her mum.. It's obvious there was a communication gap. OP didn't explain to her properly b4 taking her away. And becos they're just getting to know each other the girl probably didn't understand her madam. The only place I'll fault the girl is where she made comments or threats that she would have done something to OP's son. For me, that was EXPENSIVE.! 3 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by stanvesco(m): 12:06am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Asapcymg:# housejob 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Seventeen(f): 12:11am On Nov 24, 2015 |
My comment is for those condemmig the use of househelps, well, while having househelps are risky, its really hard to do without dem honestly, moreover whats without its own share of risks. Just as there are bad househelps and bad madams, there are also many good ones and good employers. Everytin in this world has good and bad. We dont throw away a whole crate of eggs just because we stumbled on a bad one or even a few bad ones. I believe a lot of househelps especially those from very poor homes who are lucky to hv good employers have had better lives than they would hv ordinarily had. So we shuldnt just condemm d whole process. Its all about luck shaa. Whether adult or child help, proffessional or u proffessional, its all about luck. There are evil adult nannies out there as well. Women should just be careful, cautious and prayerful. My girl has bn with me for close to 5yrs now. Am not bragging, but i believe she would hv probably left by now if i wasnt treating her right. And i honestly believe we have bettered her life. I dont want to start saying we did ds or did dat for her but she stays with us like shes a relative. I must confess she too has bn good evn though we also hv d regular madam/househelp moments.. U know hw teenagers are. Honestly i dint expect her to stay this long, I alwayz expect her not to return anytime she travels to see her ppl because dats what many of dem do, they keep jumping from place to place, but am alwayz suprised dat she alwayz comes bak, i guess she would rather stay with us dan in her village. (We hv bn to her place, we went to see her mum shortly after her cousin who was my sisters friend brought her to us. Kai, ppl are suffering oo abeg.) I would do the same too, if i were in her shoes. Well like i said its all about luck. If a househelp, (especially those from very poor background is lucky to hav a gd employer, its usually to d househelps gain and same goes for an employer whos luck t get a good help. Well, am enjoying her while it lasts cos of course she wont stay forever. Thank God my kids are growing and will be able to take care of themselves and d house very soon. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Nobody: 12:17am On Nov 24, 2015 |
xtervaganza: |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Emeka71(m): 12:21am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Rukemi291:Good woman. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Alal(m): 12:30am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Asapcymg:don't trust you, you go f**k her hubby. 1 Like |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by princeonx: 12:42am On Nov 24, 2015 |
kweenkong:You made a good point about a 15yrs old being able to help at home including caring for her younger siblings but you messed up your point comparing apple and orange. The thread or rather the point is about being a mother, raising, and caring for her own child/children not being a wife! That's a whole different topic but if you care to know, living 4 hours away from your husband is not being a wife in my own opinion but if na so they (her & her husband) want am make they carry go. And to answer your last line, the answer is YES! There are jobs and positions that are simply not for a married woman or a nursing mother raising a child under 2 and pregnant period. US vice president Joe Biden didn't run for president bcox of family reasons!! So are many prominent people out there. Let's just face the fact guys! Women especially African women come up with this career BS when the men/husband fail to step up. Why will my wife be walking in daily when the kids are in bed already bcox of one career? Who assist my kids with their homework? Maid, washed them up? Maid, read their bedtime stories to them? Maid! Why? Bcox my wife is a career woman? Abi bcox am married to the maid? To everyone and their own oh! Thank God my wife is in the medical field and makes her own schedule cux I don't think I can deal with this career thing or living separate from my family oh! I'll rather get a second job and pay her her exact income to raise my kids if need be. Am not against a lady having or building a career but some careers are simply not for married women or nursing mothers especially if the husband is also out there struggling to bring money home too leaving the kids to be raised by house maid or nanny. 2 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Sh0llypopz: 12:47am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Zuris: Stop making yourself look ignorant. Yes, she was forced into child labor by her parents. A 15 year old who has not been emancipated from his/her parent or guardian cannot give consent in a situation like this; especially when those involved her adults. She is not a thief. As long as the op gave her permission to eat in her husband's home, taking meat and juice for her journey cannot be seen as stealing. When I work, I expect to get paid. The days of slavery are over! 4 Likes |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by ginggerxy: 12:52am On Nov 24, 2015 |
ITbomb:oh boy! Dats bomb. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by miqos02(m): 2:24am On Nov 24, 2015 |
my dear, you will do yourself a lot of good by distancing yourself from the girl and her family, you are too soft, treat this matter like a professional that you are, if u employed a staff and the staff decides to resign and steal your property in your absence, will you go looking for him/her? Rukemi291: |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by Mentcee(m): 2:38am On Nov 24, 2015 |
I deeply appreciate your dilemma and confusion, disappointment and loss. I know you'll read this belated comment. My advice is; it could have been worse. Take it in good faith. Let her be. See her not. You'll only make yourself more confused and embittered. There are more weird people out there these days. Just buckle up and thank God and face the future. The world has become ill. I wish you luck especially in a full term delivery. |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by justmenoni: 2:41am On Nov 24, 2015 |
Exactly Bobbyjay001: |
Re: This Is What My House Help Did To Me by justmenoni: 2:41am On Nov 24, 2015 |
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