glossy6:


Hmmmm. I laugh in Latin. last yr Oct, I brought an 11yr old naive girl from the village to help me at home. she bedwets and mop up the mess with the pillows.

I enrolled her in a private school close to my house where she was admitted in Basic 4. I bought textbooks for her & she started schooling immediately. But aside the bedwetting which has stopped after much coaching, she can't wash dishes clean enough even up to now. she sweeps the house using 2 hrs 30 mins on the average. At the end of the sweeping exercise, you will wish she never did.

She tell lies more than any human being living. I have been asking after her homework which she kept on saying she was not given. She will be idling away while my kids sweat it out doing loads of homework. I wasn't ready to confront the proprietress on this since I had confronted her when she was in Basic 4. I don't want to be seen as disliking her teachers. hers was the only school that admitted her in Basic 4, others went as low as basic 2.

About 5wks ago, I brought up the homework issue again and I sent someone to confirm from her classmate if they were not given homework and why?

2wks later the story remained same but she went to school to allege that house chores does not permit her to do homework. that she is being starved (she serves food to herself )......and lots of unprintable lies.

Conclusion: you hardly can find a good one. No matter what you do to them, you are not her biological mum and she can NEVER appreciate you.

Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

Now, this is intelligent!

fr3do:
Stop this slavery! Employ an adult part time to do chores for you.

How is accomodating, feeding and sending a maid to school slavery

Hmmm thank God sha.you too improve on yur family planning techniques.you very busy,oga very busy,child so so young(less than 2yrs), you already preggy with months,!thats not too healthy for both of you madam, the stress can be too much na

Sh0llypopz:
I'm so confused as to why everybody is feeling sorry for the op; da fvck??!!

How many of you would be fine if your employer tells you that you wouldn't be getting paid for two weeks while you're working because they need to travel?

Her education was the payment for her services. Btw, isn't Lagos State Public schools free?? How much is the op paying for tuition??


Secondly, we are dealing with a 15 yr old child here, not an adult. So, this young girl must be treated as such. Is she allowed to eat in the op's home?? If yes, then how did she steal meat and juice?? As far as I'm concerned, she took food to eat for her journey.


Thirdly, the op clearly dismissed the girls'd feelings and it's obvious that the op hasn't taking the time to get to know this young girl. Nigerians look down on their helps and talk to them disrespectfully, it's not far fetched for the neighbors to refer to her as omo-odo. The op is not the recipient of the insult, so she is not in a position to dismiss the little girl's claims.


Yes, speaking to the the mother would be the right thing to do here. Take time to build genuine relationships with those that work in your home. Especially, if you are going to trust them with your child.

The Op said she was to resume sch in jan, so how has that affected her pay or whatever you meant. Some house helps are devil's incarnate, their minds have already been programmed, probably due to their previous base.

Sh0llypopz:


The girl does not only do chores, she is also a nanny! A freaking 15 year old child! Working two jobs so she can go to school. Yet, everyone wants to castigate the young girl for getting pissed.

The child had already missed number of days in school, she is the last person to be taking a two-week vacation from school.

she is to resume in jan, did you read the op's write up at all? Or are you the girl's bf

Candybob:
Extremely annoying story! So you cannot manage your family properly?
You leave toddler with a teenage househelp to chase paper, and you are here talking nonsense!
You are even lucky, maybe if she gave your baby omo soap to swallow then your big eye will be clear.
See your life, why not just sell your child, the pregnancy, your husband and collect money! As you want to die for money! Nonsense!

Someone help this nigga, he probably needs a brain check

tearoses:
Whilst you were away she would have missed 2 weeks of school whilst she was with your husband (you said he resided 4 hours away from Lagos)

She had only just started the school and was settling in and suddenly she is going to be off school for at least weeks. This could have been what upset her and made her to leave abruptly

I am not saying what she did was right, but officially she is still a kid herself so one has to expect some childish behaviour from a kid from time to time

Also how much notice did you give her about her change of location? Has she ever met your husband before now? All this is new territory for her too. She is only 15.

I am happy that your baby is Okay

unfortunately this is a fall out of the society that we live in where families are forced to live in different cities due to lack of good jobs and one person is left to deal with what 2 people should do.
OP, both yours and your hubby's primary responsibly is towards your children so you both need to work out what is best for them.

Na wa o, when will NLanders start understanding what they read?

Did you by any chance see Jan in op's write up?

Oga seun, its like we have to open a Nland school, even if na evening classes

Thank God and let go!

We may be able to check a house girl's health state (blood tests etc) BUT never her mental and spiritual health.

For all we may know she might be possessed. Do not let her and her mother bewitch you.

You escaped from their wrath because God who alone knows the heart of man watched and guarded her actions on your family.

Next time send your child to your parents NO more house girl's or nannies please.

I sort of got tired of saying this over and over again. So I just ignore such posts even when they
Annoy me. Our people would rather support child labor than teach self control to full fledge adult males.
SMH.

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

People asking her not to go may be right.

But the girl threatened her son for goodness sake.

What kind of mother allows that to just slide.

If Na me, I will even involve police self.

Those capable of evil acts do not understand the language of "letting things slide".

She needs to be aware that if anything happens to Op son or family, she, her mother and rest of the family will be thrown in jail and the keys thrown away.

You don't back away from some kind of people o. You fight back. Who says she can't perpetuate her evil acts from the village.

She needs to write an undertaking self. Don't let this go. That girl may have some demonic forces working in her and you don't back down for those.

i do not support the use of an external people to come live on my entire privacy easily.

Why not use my blood relatives?

Sh0llypopz:


Stop making yourself look ignorant.

Yes, she was forced into child labor by her parents. A 15 year old who has not been emancipated from his/her parent or guardian cannot give consent in a situation like this; especially when those involved her adults.

She is not a thief. As long as the op gave her permission to eat in her husband's home, taking meat and juice for her journey cannot be seen as stealing.

When I work, I expect to get paid. The days of slavery are over!

Who is the ignorant person here?
So you were there when she told the parent she wasn't interested and they forced her?

What she did was wrong. How long is two weeks that she couldn't wait for her madam to come back and table her grievances.

What if the neighbours she dropped the child with were paedophiles or ritualists?
You keep going on as if that 2 weeks pay is much more important than the life of the boy she was given take care of.

Meanwhile, your uncouth words shows the kind of person you are. Am not surprised.

cococandy:
You took a big risk.
Or maybe I didn't understand your story well.

What type of risk do you expect a career woman always take? They always put their family in a big risk. This one is a near miss in safety terms.

ITbomb:
No need to go, she said she's pregnant

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

Can I hug you? Seriously, I was dumbfounded when I read that lady's post. Thank you.

Thank God for you o
. We have seen many of her type,. Most Nigerians, even adults are not prepared to make sacrifice , they just want to reap. One came go my house on a Sunday and was angry that she was not taken to school by Monday. By Tuesday she was on her way home with her widow mother's support . Fast forward, she had a baby exactly one year later.

Thank God you only 'wish' to 'visit' the mum, let it stop at your wish.
You may call and close her case honourably but visiting is not allowed, doing that will expose you to unnecessary sympathy which you will be obliged to bring back to your home the devil 're-loaded'.
A word in my own coin...

Zuris:


Who is the ignorant person here?
So you were there when she told the parent she wasn't interested and they forced her?

What she did was wrong. How long is two weeks that she couldn't wait for her madam to come back and table her grievances.

What if the neighbours she dropped the child with were paedophiles or ritualists?
You keep going on as if that 2 weeks pay is much more important than the life of the boy she was given take care of.

Meanwhile, your uncouth words shows the kind of person you are. Am not surprised.

@Zurin, a 15 year old cannot give consent. Can someone please explain to this person how a 15 year old cannot be found guilty of child labor because she isn't capable of giving consent at her age??

For example: A 15 year old cannot give consent to a 25 year old man that sleeps with her. He will be charged with r*ape; his actions would be seen as forceful because she cannot give consent.

She is a child, not an adult. She clearly isn't emancipated from her parents, so she couldn't have given consent.

You keep referring to the op as her madam, that is very offensive. You are the last person to question anyone's morals.

dyn1800:
Have you ever put yourself in the position of an house help before ?

Yea! Alot of times but these househelps don't have compassion atimes. Imagine enrolling a help in a private sec sch, d sch fees then was 18000. Books, registration, uniform etc cost 15000. I had to enrol her there cos her educational background was poor n govt sch won't do her much good. After 4weeks she said she wanted to go,that the sch was too stressful, shes always indoors bla bla. It was like film. My investment gone, she didn't even complete a term. So my dear, you can never be their parents just treat them well cos i no support maltreatment.

cococandy:

Really?
What did you change into Oga?
You took the girl as your younger sister who has more value than your wife and kids.

o yea! What value if I may ask? Does being a maid make her any less a human? Stupidity!!! People like you will have a maid who is down with malaria n ask her to go take panadol n when ur kids have just headache u take them to d hospital. N you call yourself a God worshiper. SMH. Dat he take her like a sister means he is accommodating n also knows his limits so don't get it twisted.

accept the lady does not want to be an omo odo cus she too has a right to dignity like all human.she did you no wrong aunty.she hates being called omo odo.simple

princeonx:

Dude leave the 2 years or more gap thing aside, that's not the problem. I have a 5 and half years old son and a 2 years old son still they're both kids. Even if one is 7yrs old and the other 2yrs old, I still can't leave them alone at home. In most cities in the US you must have a 13yrs or older person at home before you can leave the kids by themselves. As a matter of fact I wish my kids are 3 and 2 years old my life would've been easier. They would likely go to the same school, go to the same sports activities instead of me dropping off one at school then start heading to daycare which is another 15 -20 mnts drive apart! Same with sports and after school activities. So my point is even if they give 5yrs apart, a 6yrs old can not babysit, feed, or wash up a 1yr old.

U have said something reasonable bro... when I say family planning I knew exactly what I meant. Whether u space ur child bearing or not, once u don't plan ur home effectively one will always face situation that will becloud his or her imagination. Family planning encompasses all forms of planning within the home. Effective planning saves stressful & chaotic situations.

The problem with Nigeria is that most parents are downright lazy, they just want house help to do everything for them which heaven knows it's not possible. Some are breeding like pigs expecting God to come help salvage their situations for them.

I am using this medium to advice those lazy parents who don't know what parenting means to wake up from their slumber & act right.

As for the OP, u know very well that ur career is becoming an obstacle to ur home, so tread carefully. Emotional problem is the worst problem any man can face in life & this problem starts from the home.

ITbomb:

No need to go, she said she's pregnant

did you think she is a girl

Op some house girls are just naturally wicked, these days it's rather difficult to find a good one.

The house girl isn't clearly ready to have a future so allow her go.

ITbomb:
No need to go, she said she's pregnant

What do really mean by that?

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

What is the definition of a maid by the way? A child that grows along with my kids can't be said to be a maid but a helper. My daughter of the same age does the same chores when she is back from school as a boarder and does them fairer. You mean she is not meant to wash dishes or sweep in her mother's house? Well, my girl of 5 wash the dishes. My 13yrs old do the laundry for me.

Saddled ke? Sweep, bath herself eat and go to school with my kids. Return from school, get food from d flask for her & my kids. They do harder stuff in their home without being equipped for school and it is not slavery. Maybe 4yrs go to creche and not school as you have read my post with a biased mind.

Am supposed to bath her abi? Well I don't bath my daughter of same age and she does her morning duties as a boarder in a public school.

I applaud your response. By the way, I was only telling the writer that getting kids that age are needless and not worth it. For ur info, I don't have issue with my husband. Put a 25yr old unclad lady in a locked room with him & he won't fall for it. He is a very decent man.

I don't keep girls her age. This is d 1st trial and its not worth it. If your 11yr now 12yrs not being able to wash plates is ok by you, so be it.

Thank you much to everyone that took time to comment.

Sh0llypopz:


@Zurin, a 15 year old cannot give consent. Can someone please explain to this person how a 15 year old cannot be found guilty of child labor because she isn't capable of giving consent at her age??

For example: A 15 year old cannot give consent to a 25 year old man that sleeps with her. He will be charged with r*ape; his actions would be seen as forceful because she cannot give consent.

She is a child, not an adult. She clearly isn't emancipated from her parents, so she couldn't have given consent.

You keep referring to the op as her madam, that is very offensive. You are the last person to question anyone's morals.

My sister a lot of Nigerian women will argue with you till their last breath. They prefer this jankara move than hiring a professional.

I don't know why we refuse to see this as a real profession. Hire a real person and pay them well, state terms and conditions, respect each other. A maid is not your sister or your charity case, a maid is not your friend, she is there to do a job. Again differentiate between a maid and a nanny. I know what attention a child takes my maid has no business with my child she isn't a trained nanny, she does not know CPR, she doesn't know what to do when there is an emergency.

I hope more women will get wise and start doing the right thing.
I also understand the challenges of not getting a good trained adult maid, that is a serious gap. I am working on something like that. Security is another concern.

However these challenges doesn't mean we should subject children who should be in school to be in the labour market. These kids are not mentally prepared to do most of the things we demand from them.

glossy6:

What is the definition of a maid by the way? A child that grows along with my kids can't be said to be a maid but a helper. My daughter of the same age does the same chores when she is back from school as a boarder and does them fairer. You mean she is not meant to wash dishes or sweep in her mother's house? Well, my girl of 5 wash the dishes. My 13yrs old do the laundry for me.
Saddled ke? Sweep, bath herself eat and go to school with my kids. Return from school, get food from d flask for her & my kids. They do harder stuff in their home without being equipped for school and it is not slavery. Maybe 4yrs go to creche and not school as you have read my post with a biased mind.
Am supposed to bath her abi? Well I don't bath my daughter of same age and she does her morning duties as a boarder in a public school.
I applaud your response. By the way, I was only telling the writer that getting kids that age are needless and not worth it. For ur info, I don't have issue with my husband. Put a 25yr old unclad lady in a locked room with him & he won't fall for it. He is a very decent man.
I don't keep girls her age. This is d 1st trial and its not worth it. If your 11yr now 12yrs not being able to wash plates is ok by you, so be it.

I apologise for bringing your husband into this, forgive me just that it's the excuse some women give.

However my point remains, simple yes or no answer: will you send your 11 year old to be a maid? Since you insist an 11 year old is mature enough to work outside her home

Rukemi291:
I work with a very wonderful organization and as my job demands, one of my very crucial academic meetings is always held outside Nigeria.

I am also married with a 1yr 11 month old son and pregnant (few weeks gone).... My husband works and lives in a town that is 4hours away from Lagos where I work.

The need for a house help arose when morning sickness started. So I told a lot of people in the office that I needed a girl. Luckily one of the staff told me she could help me send down her half sister who is 15years old and her mum can no longer carter for because they are poor. She said she's also with the girl's elder sister.

I spoke with the girl's mum, she was so excited and prayed for me and all she requested was for her girl to go to school. I promised her that the girl would go to school. The girl was brought to me on 19th October.

So I went in search of a school and I was lucky she was admited into a Lagos State Government School that is close by. The principal said that it was late actually but she doesn't want the girl to be idle at home, so she could resume immediately but her academic session would be from January. I paid all d fees and got her two sets of uniform. She started school early this month.

My son has also started school, so she drops him in school and picks him up when she's back too.

Fast forward to this time, d official assignment that would take me away from the country was close. I couldn't risk leaving her in Lagos with my super active toddler for almost two weeks that I would be away. I had to take them to my husband.

Early on Thursday, 19th, I received a call that my girl had left home with her belongings and she left a note that she was angry with me that I did not let her go to school and that if not that she loved my son ehn.....

My husband's job is a shift- based job and he was on night duty to be back home by 8am the morning she left.

A neighbour called my husband who was at work that the girl took my son to them very early in d morning that we sent her on an errand and that they should borrow her N500. They took my son from her and told her to wait for my husband to return. They said they did not know when she left.

The girl scattered the whole house took all the pieces of meat in d pot, the juice packs at home. I Knew she wouldn't get money, my husband isn't as careless.

My husband spoke with her mum that didn't sound surprised and all she said was that she would scold her when the girl comes home. Yes, d girl is home now.

I was devastated and destabilized for two days. I never ever maltreated this girl. My conscience is as clear as a gallon of distilled water.

Well, my son is now with my mum.

My mum also spoke with her mum that the girl said neighbors were calling her omo-odo (house girl). She left the 6th day she got there. We stay in a compound of 5 flats where everyone minds his business. So who called her a house-girl.

I think the mistake we made was that we got her a phone and even loaded the phone. My husband said he noticed she was always calling someone and he once heard her telling the receiver the address of where she was.

I really wish to visit her mum when I return and I hope to see her and ask her questions.

I really appreciate my family for staying with me throughout this period and I'm glad I'm not hypertensive maybe I'd have lost this pregnancy. And I thank God most that she didn't hurt my son because I never hurt her.

Well, it's all good. Life goes on.

I am not trying to discourage people from getting house helps....

seun no greee oya lala do d needful
move all ds tales by moonlight to fictioon section