damiso:


It is always easy to say other people's kids are dull or not academically inclined( especially less privildged children). Meanwhile same person who said house help is a dunce wont mind paying to 'work' special jamb centre for their own child as if a child you need to 'work' Jamb centre for is academically inclined.

All this issues also stem from the fact that nannies/maids/cleaners/security men/ drivers are not seen as human beings. So ordinary just giving them the basic fair working conditions is termed as being 'nice'. There is also no clear job description so its 'rude' if your driver decides that sweeping the compound is not part of his job description( note I am not saying people don't go over and beyond in their jobs my point it should be appreciated, rewarded and not taken for granted).

My sons nursery charges an arm and a leg and if he has an accident i.e. wets himself na so they will change him and pack all his p.oo filled clothes in a bag for me to handle when I get home,. That's cos I pay for them childcare and not for cleaning up his clothes.

Its an African thing. I know some people who are having issues with eastern European Au pairs who refuse to do anything after their working hours.

tearoses:

Dami I just got back from Naija
I still see the looks of shock on the faces of people who serve me in restaurants when I say thank you or I gather our plates up together after eating.
When I am served in the market, I still say thank you even though I am paying you my money. They are human too. Besides what does it cost to show appreciation. Maybe you will be the first person who has been nice to them all day.
Its really sad the way people of lower social class are treated like they are not human.
yet all these people were carried for 9 months like anyone else and they all have blood in their veins and feel pain just as everyone else. . . .and we will all go 6 feet under at the appointed time.
I believe one thing and that very rarely will you be paid back evil for good. There are house helps from hell, but most of thes time these house helps have been treated very badly in the past so they no longer have compassion.
Back in the day our house helps were "auntys" and God help us if any of them reports us to our parents for insolence.
Dami she you know that some people like doing follow follow and now they are all employing au pairs, but most of the ones I know of ends with fight. Why because they want the au pairs to do beyond what was agreed from the start.
I guess its a different mindset regarding labour in Naija. Driver fetches water for the house, madams police orderly carrys madams handbag in the market, students wash teachers clothes, secretary goes to buy amala for oga . . . . . all on the same salary.
It is well.

damiso:


It is always easy to say other people's kids are dull or not academically inclined( especially less privildged children). Meanwhile same person who said house help is a dunce wont mind paying to 'work' special jamb centre for their own child as if a child you need to 'work' Jamb centre for is academically inclined.

All this issues also stem from the fact that nannies/maids/cleaners/security men/ drivers are not seen as human beings. So ordinary just giving them the basic fair working conditions is termed as being 'nice'. There is also no clear job description so its 'rude' if your driver decides that sweeping the compound is not part of his job description( note I am not saying people don't go over and beyond in their jobs my point it should be appreciated, rewarded and not taken for granted).

My sons nursery charges an arm and a leg and if he has an accident i.e. wets himself na so they will change him and pack all his p.oo filled clothes in a bag for me to handle when I get home,. That's cos I pay for them childcare and not for cleaning up his clothes.

Its an African thing. I know some people who are having issues with eastern European Au pairs who refuse to do anything after their working hours.

iriskiki:
Please calculate and show us how to plan a home or do family planning where you can have kids and work without help from somewhere or someone?

tearoses:


Dami I just got back from Naija
I still see the looks of shock on the faces of people who serve me in restaurants when I say thank you or I gather our plates up together after eating.
When I am served in the market, I still say thank you even though I am paying you my money. They are human too. Besides what does it cost to show appreciation. Maybe you will be the first person who has been nice to them or made them feel appreciated all day.

Its really sad the way people of lower social class are treated like they are not human.
yet all these people were carried for 9 months like anyone else and they all have blood in their veins and feel pain just as everyone else. . . .and we will all go 6 feet under at the appointed time.

I believe one thing and that very rarely will you be paid back evil for good. There are house helps from hell, but most of thes time these house helps have been treated very badly in the past so they no longer have compassion.
Back in the day our house helps were "auntys" and God help us if any of them reports us to our parents for insolence.

Dami she you know that some people like doing follow follow and now they are all employing au pairs, but most of the ones I know of ends with fight. Why because they want the au pairs to do beyond what was agreed from the start.

I guess its a different mindset regarding labour in Naija. Driver fetches water for the house, madams police orderly carrys madams handbag in the market, students wash teachers clothes, secretary goes to buy amala for oga . . . . . all on the same salary.

I thank God for my parents and the family that I married into. I have learnt a lot from them.

It is well.

vascey:
People asking her not to go may be right.

But the girl threatened her son for goodness sake.

What kind of mother allows that to just slide.

If Na me, I will even involve police self.

Those capable of evil acts do not understand the language of "letting things slide".

She needs to be aware that if anything happens to Op son or family, she, her mother and rest of the family will be thrown in jail and the keys thrown away.

You don't back away from some kind of people o. You fight back. Who says she can't perpetuate her evil acts from the village.

She needs to write an undertaking self. Don't let this go. That girl may have some demonic forces working in her and you don't back down for those.

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

Acidosis:

My crush Dis wan you're attacking me naw ehn

cococandy:
Dem no dey do crush for this kind thing

iriskiki:
Please calculate and show us how to plan a home or do family planning where you can have kids and work without help from somewhere or someone?

glossy6:


Hmmmm. I laugh in Latin. last yr Oct, I brought an 11yr old naive girl from the village to help me at home. she bedwets and mop up the mess with the pillows.

I enrolled her in a private school close to my house where she was admitted in Basic 4. I bought textbooks for her & she started schooling immediately. But aside the bedwetting which has stopped after much coaching, she can't wash dishes clean enough even up to now. she sweeps the house using 2 hrs 30 mins on the average. At the end of the sweeping exercise, you will wish she never did.

She tell lies more than any human being living. I have been asking after her homework which she kept on saying she was not given. She will be idling away while my kids sweat it out doing loads of homework. I wasn't ready to confront the proprietress on this since I had confronted her when she was in Basic 4. I don't want to be seen as disliking her teachers. hers was the only school that admitted her in Basic 4, others went as low as basic 2.

About 5wks ago, I brought up the homework issue again and I sent someone to confirm from her classmate if they were not given homework and why?

2wks later the story remained same but she went to school to allege that house chores does not permit her to do homework. that she is being starved (she serves food to herself )......and lots of unprintable lies.

Conclusion: you hardly can find a good one. No matter what you do to them, you are not her biological mum and she can NEVER appreciate you.

tearoses:
Whilst you were away she would have missed 2 weeks of school whilst she was with your husband (you said he resided 4 hours away from Lagos)

She had only just started the school and was settling in and suddenly she is going to be off school for at least weeks. This could have been what upset her and made her to leave abruptly

I am not saying what she did was right, but officially she is still a kid herself so one has to expect some childish behaviour from a kid from time to time

Also how much notice did you give her about her change of location? Has she ever met your husband before now? All this is new territory for her too. She is only 15.

I am happy that your baby is Okay

unfortunately this is a fall out of the society that we live in where families are forced to live in different cities due to lack of good jobs and one person is left to deal with what 2 people should do.
OP, both yours and your hubby's primary responsibly is towards your children so you both need to work out what is best for them.

Eketem:


In our own wonderful jobs we stick to our job descriptions, if you are employed as a manager and your employer now asks you to be sweeping and cleaning the office they will rush to Nairaland and start a thread.

I have been shouting that a maid is different from a nanny, different from a cook, but we no go hear that one. Someone is counting less than 50k as one big investment on an "Ungrateful maid" that is registration and fees for a whole year oh meaning payment for all the services is about N4000 a month less than recharge card money or BlackBerry subscription yet the maid should be grateful else she won't "have a future"

People looking for cheap labour will keep dealing with these issues and even worse. What does a teenager know about caring for a baby? A nanny needs training, the right temperament and good working conditions: a nanny isn't a maid

Eketem:


Send your own 11 year old daughter to be a househelp then come back and tell us if your daughter was a " good one" to somebody.

An 11 year old child has no business being a househelp, she is a developing child who needs to learn and play not be saddled with your kids. Gosh, what is wrong with us? Stop this please. Hire a professional or get a creche, stop being penny wise and pound foolish not to talk of illegal, an 11 year old can barely take care of herself. If you are afraid of your husbands fidelity with an older girl then deal with your husband not make a child your maid abeg.

tearoses:


I also note that the househelps school hours are shorter than the 2 year olds hours
Thats why she drops him off before going to school and picks him up when she finishes

I was a the hairdressers the other day and a woman bought her kid housegirl with her. kid was about 12.
When she was asked why the kid was not in school she said the kid was a dunce and failed and she was fed up of paying fees for nothing.
. . . . Of course she will not mention the fact that the kid probably only went to school for 2 days a week and never had any free time to do her school work or study for exams.
At least now she has an excuse not to send the kid to school anymore
Yet the womans kids are studying for their Masters abroad.
It is well.

soonest:

Quote me properly if you are referring to me. Yes less than 50k. Did i pick d money. Can her parents afford the 50k sch. School fees in your village is per session and not per term abi? Help me calculate her feeding, clothing, housing and needs. Did i get my investment worth? She didn't stay up to 4weeks. her parents kept calling me to have her back why? Yes i expect gratitude because she had a better deal with me than where she was coming from.
Madam/Oga benefactor, take care of all these maids so that their parents don't have to send them out. Case closed. Thank you

Eketem:


Sorry you bought a slave and didn't get your values worth.
You refer to investment like she is a thing or good. It is well, I blame the parents who bring these kids into the world without planning to suffer such indignity

soonest:
@ eketem, Clap for your self for cheating your boss. Where are your morals? No wonder some of these cooperate bodies make their staff sign bonds to stay for a certain number of years before sending them for costly training. When you are the one at cheating/receiving end is fair abi? If he made you sign a bond, you cry blue murder. Abegggiiiiii

Eketem:


lol I don't know the kind of organisations you have worked probably slavery promoting ones, the highest that any organisation can expect is some notice and forfeting one months salary. It's a contract and not by force. People grow people move only witchcraft will want one to stagnate

soonest:

The way you mention slavery seems you know one or two about it. You are only concerned about your own growth why not the company that sent you for training too. Or you must be the one benefiting in any alliance you find yourself

Eketem:


Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

babygirlfl:


Parents would pay for extra lessons for their kids when they don't do well in school. Yet will not give another persons child a chance to read enough to pass and withdraw her at the first sign of trouble. As you said, it is well. I just wish people will only have the number of kids they can take care of.

Kachisbarbie:


The first thing I noticed was how she put the girl in a government school, a child you claim wasn't doing well academically. I decided to shut up kwa, before them go say I done talk.
She put the lil girl in govt. school so that she can close early and be "useful".

Alal:
don't trust you, you go f**k her hubby.

glossy6:


Please is there anything wrong with government schools in Lagos? I want to know so as to withdraw my kids from them.