House help? Never again! My sister has had all shades of them. First one ran away just before Christmas. Second one started dating a neighbour and eventually absconded to another boyfriend's house. Third one broke into their bedroom, stole money and clothes and other things and disappeared. She abandoned the kids at school, left the key at the door and fled after breaking things in desperation while looking for money to steal. Fourth one decided to go for higher studies which is a good thing, however left with acrimony. Fifth one was a witch, second in command in a marine kingdom. Manifested just 2nd day after she came. Was sent back immediately. They were all above 18 and paid.

Points has been made and lessons learnt on this issue. Inasmuch as I don't want to prolong issues on this thread, I want more clarification on this "professional nanny" of a thing.

Please what make them professional? Do they undergo training as done in the US? How can we engage them? Pls don't tell me OLX.

I need to know and maybe one or two people here. Genuine info & not usual NL bashing.

@rukemi wow

Thank God she dint leave with your pikin

My first help stayed 9 months, I let her go cuz I was going back to work and wanted a live in

Hmm, series of bad luck, one even stole from me, the second was so damn loud I couldn't hear word in my house

The third her family wanted to be collecting her money- I'm not into baboon they work, monkey dey chop

But all in all I NEVER leave my child with my help o! Never

Their work is to clean not to take care of my child

I drop both nanny and pikin with my mom on my way to work and pick up on my way back.

My principle is 'if I can't trust you with my ATM card and pin and trust u won't defraud me, I will never trust u alone with my child o

Rukemi291:


See, I kept laughing at her ignorance. Maybe she wants me to start paying for malpractice too. I did my research before putting her there.

She spoke about 'closing early and be useful'.... Chai... If 3.30 is close early, then.... I reserve my comment. You can tell the IQ of a person from their posts.

And d poster that spoke about her dropping my son at school. My boy rather goes to school very early so that she's in school too before 7.30.

I ignored unreasonable comments like hers, acidosis' and of course madam of senseless posters'.

I have picked the very useful ones and moved on.

You are an FCA, wow. I doubt the likes of her know what that means... you are an achiever.

Thanks Ojugunrege. You were once in my shoes.

My dear even if you put the child in govt sch that closes by 2pm so that she can be useful. You don't let people make you feel bad. You brought her to be useful to you and you her. When there's no usefulness any more the person should go period. My children don't even stay in school beyond 1pm in the name of lessons, that's counterproductive.

Rukemi291:


See, I kept laughing at her ignorance. Maybe she wants me to start paying for malpractice too. I did my research before putting her there.

She spoke about 'closing early and be useful'.... Chai... If 3.30 is close early, then.... I reserve my comment. You can tell the IQ of a person from their posts.

And d poster that spoke about her dropping my son at school. My boy rather goes to school very early so that she's in school too before 7.30.

I ignored unreasonable comments like hers, acidosis' and of course madam of senseless posters'.

I have picked the very useful ones and moved on.

You are an FCA, wow. I doubt the likes of her know what that means... you are an achiever.

Thanks Ojugunrege. You were once in my shoes.

There is nothing wrong with public schools if that is what you can afford. I know thousands of people who passed through public schools and are outstanding in their respective fields today, at least Lagos I know.

Pls hire an adult henceforth, someone who is old enough to face you and negotiate her terms. Source them from an agency with a good reputation amongst your friends or colleagues and get someone who is happy doing the job and not forced to work.

Like Nihilist said, bringing in a child from her poor parents to a better environment is supposed to be a win-win situation for both the adopted and biological mothers, especially in a country with a high inequality index like Nigeria; unfortunately, this privilege has been abused by many and it is now easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a family to convince the world they are indeed treating these wards right. But that doesn't mean there are no success stories, of course there are. It's just a case of too many bad eggs...

If you are convinced yourself within you that you treated her right, pls move on and learn from this experience. Nobody can pass the guilty verdict on you if you indeed treated her right.

favoredgal:
@rukemi wow

Thank God she dint leave with your pikin

My first help stayed 9 months, I let her go cuz I was going back to work and wanted a live in

Hmm, series of bad luck, one even stole from me, the second was so damn loud I couldn't hear word in my house

The third her family wanted to be collecting her money- I'm not into baboon they work, monkey dey chop

But all in all I NEVER leave my child with my help o! Never

Their work is to clean not to take care of my child

I drop both nanny and pikin with my mom on my way to work and pick up on my way back.

My principle is 'if I can't trust you with my ATM card and pin and trust u won't defraud me, I will never trust u alone with my child o

This............

A maid is different from a nanny, we are being penny wise an pound foolish most of the time. What is more precious than the kids we bring to life? Yet we insist on cheap labour mostly unsatisfactory to the supposed care giver to care for our kids.
If they steal your food, money or even household items it can be replaced but God forbid if in carelessness they harm or even kill you child they may go to jail but your child cannot be replaced.

Poster if you don't learn anything from all the "Nonsense" we have said please learn that a maid isn't a trained Nanny

glossy6:
Points has been made and lessons learnt on this issue. Inasmuch as I don't want to prolong issues on this thread, I want more clarification on this "professional nanny" of a thing.

Please what make them professional? Do they undergo training as done in the US? How can we engage them? Pls don't tell me OLX.

I need to know and maybe one or two people here. Genuine info & not usual NL bashing.

Lol...it's not a formal training most times although I have seen one or two institutions that say they offer professional nanny trainings but I wasn't convinced about them.

The professional training in Nigeris is more about experience i.e someone who has worked previously with kids. The interview questions asked before she starts will bring it to light if she/he is truly experienced and loves the job or at least can tolerate kids. In other cases, they could also be mothers/widows who need to earn some income by taking care of other people's kids.

@favoredgal - what if your mum or any support system was not available - what would you do? Just a curious question.

glossy6:
Points has been made and lessons learnt on this issue. Inasmuch as I don't want to prolong issues on this thread, I want more clarification on this "professional nanny" of a thing.
Please what make them professional? Do they undergo training as done in the US? How can we engage them? Pls don't tell me OLX.
I need to know and maybe one or two people here. Genuine info & not usual NL bashing.

I am working on something though still at market survey level. Very thorough training including first aid, psychological checks and security check for Nannies and Maids. Something affordable too and fair for the workers involved. Including certification

Quick question though: how much would you be willing to pay monthly for a good Nanny or Maid?

Kimoni:
@favoredgal - what if your mum or any support system was not available - what would you do? Just a curious question.

Don't get me wrong I'm not passing any judgement o! I'm extremely fortunate to have my mom, my dad and my husbands family close to me

If I didn't however, she will be in crèche already and I will pay for 'after school' all near my office, that way we go and come back together. She is starting school in jan when baby no 2 comes and that's my plan by God's grace

Before I conceived her it was a roller coaster ride of tears, fears and prayers. Can't take any chances. She is most valuable gift/ asset

When my help stole my husband's wristwatch and valuables I didn't believe him; I thought he may have kept it somewhere and forgot about it, we even quarreled self ontop the matter, that's me, always giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, innocent till proven guilty but as God will have it, she left her phone and was at my mom's house, when I checked her sms I almost fainted, this girl was working with a corhoot of thieves. Our daily routine she had sent to them by SMS, she told them she has searched the whole house, mehn unprintable stuff. I just kept thanking God for exposing her

Also remember the Adeleke's, the ones that the nanny absconded with three of their kids, the guy is my husbands ex colleague

One can't be too careful..... My personal opinion

favoredgal:


Don't get me wrong I'm not passing any judgement o! I'm extremely fortunate to have my mom, my dad and my husbands family close to me

If I didn't however, she will be in crèche already and I will pay for 'after school' all near my office, that way we go and come back together. She is starting school in jan when baby no 2 comes and that's my plan by God's grace

Before I conceived her it was a roller coaster ride of tears, fears and prayers. Can't take any chances

Lol...I was asking just for curiosity sake really though I also wanted to establish that you were just lucky to have your support system around, many aren't that fortunate.

I tried the crèche option at a point but it didn't work. I was sometimes required to close late or travel like the OP, so I was left with little or no choice than to hire an experienced help. Even when I closed early, subjecting my infant to long hours of traffic daily was not a good choice for moi.

In all, that's why mothers are gold. It's a very trying period everywhere on earth for mothers with infants and it becomes even more difficult when you have to juggle that role with a career. The good thing is, it's just a phase that would pass away before we even realise.

We'll all get to that stage when all the kids would be out of the house either in boarding schools, universities or married. Then the second round of honeymoon with our hubbies will commence.

Everything in life is a phase that we must embrace and overcome as they come.



[size=4pt]Good morning favoredgal, did you just say Atinuke is on the way??

[/size]

@favoredgal - yeah it's a big risk but I try to do all the necessary checks and take maximum precautions. Not to talk of the prayers for guidance. But have you also seen videos of abuses at the crèche - there is this spiral video of a younger boy caught by CCTV punching and kicking a baby. Very gross to watch.

In all, one just has to choose the most comfortable and convenient option and make it work for you. Whichever option chosen, there are pros and cons attached.

Kachisbarbie:


The first thing I noticed was how she put the girl in a government school, a child you claim wasn't doing well academically. I decided to shut up kwa, before them go say I done talk.
She put the lil girl in govt. school so that she can close early and be "useful".

Government schools in Nigeria used to be good but not anymore. If the government school they mean is like the last one I saw the last time I visited Nigeria or like the one in this picture, then no child should be there.

Also my main point is that children should not be nannies. I got maternity leave after I had my child and trust me, looking after a child is a full time job. It should not be what a student does because she will have no time to study.
A student can help around the house because ideally, house chores do get to a point you can leave for another day but looking after a child is round the clock. I went for further studies after I had my child and even as an adult that I am, it was difficult. Hubby had to look after my cutie a lot of the time for me to be able to study. How then can a kid/teenager look after a child and study?

glossy6:
Points has been made and lessons learnt on this issue. Inasmuch as I don't want to prolong issues on this thread, I want more clarification on this "professional nanny" of a thing.

Please what make them professional? Do they undergo training as done in the US? How can we engage them? Pls don't tell me OLX.

I need to know and maybe one or two people here. Genuine info & not usual NL bashing.

I don't actually know as I don't currently live in Nigeria but I can find out from friends. I know my friend that lives in portharcourt told me she got a professional nanny and she seems fine with her.

Kimoni:
@favoredgal - yeah it's a big risk but I try to do all the necessary checks and take maximum precautions. Not to talk of the prayers for guidance. But have you also seen videos of abuses at the crèche - there is this spiral video of a younger boy caught by CCTV punching and kicking a baby. Very gross to watch.

In all, one just has to choose the most comfortable and convenient option and make it work for you. Whichever option chosen, there are pros and cons attached.

It's God at the end of the day. However, Iv done extensive research before I settled on the school she will be going to in jan.

CCTV covered & recording available upon request of the parents , activity log books, ratio of nanny to children, qualification of the nanny, etc

But it's all still God at the end of the day

favoredgal:


It's God at the end of the day. However, Iv done extensive research before I settled on the school she will be going to in jan.

CCTV covered & recording available upon request of the parents , activity log books, ratio of nanny to children, qualification of the nanny, etc

But it's all still God at the end of the day

@bolded - Ultimately my dear

babygirlfl:


Government schools in Nigeria used to be good but not anymore. If the government school they mean is like the last one I saw when the last time I visited Nigeria or like the one in this picture, then no child should be there.

Also my main point is that children should not be nannies. I got maternity leave after I had my child and trust me, looking after a child is a full time job. It should not be what a student does because she will have no time to study.
A student can help around the house because ideally, house chores do get to a point you can leave for another day but looking after a child is round the clock. I went for further studies after I had my child and even as an adult that I am, it was difficult. Hubby had to look after my cutie a lot of the time for me to be able to study. How then can a kid/teenager look after a child and study.

Not necessarily, won't the mother / father come home

The nanny will still get off the clock nah. You people make it seem like the nanny is on the clock 24/7

favoredgal:


Not necessarily, won't the mother / father come home

The nanny will still get off the clock nah. You people make it seem like the nanny is on the clock 24/7

Madam, if the mother and father come home and take the child, then it would be fine. But you and I know that's not the case. They come back tired. The nanny might not be on the clock 24/7 but will also not get enough time to study. Also in child psychology, children/teenagers need time for playing and other activities. It's normal part of growing. People should just look for a mature nanny and pay them well to do the job.

Can someone pls help me understand something. Is there any reason why people can't hire mature nannies?

babygirlfl:


Madam, if the mother and father come home and take the child, then it would be fine. But you and I know that's not the case. They come back tired. The nanny might not be on the clock 24/7 but will also not get enough time to study. Also in child psychology, children/teenagers need time for playing and other activities. It's normal part of growing. People should just look for a mature nanny and pay them well to do the job.

Can someone pls help me understand something. Is there any reason why people can't hire mature nannies?

Iv never had a help below 24, I don't do nannies just saying your point is not so valid.

You can't compare further studies where you have course works and all sort of research assignment with primary or secondary school homework / studying
A lot of us took care of our younger ones after school and still did our homework and made good grades
It's not that deep

favoredgal:


Iv never had a help below 24, I don't do nannies just saying your point is not so valid.

You can't compare further studies where you have course works and all sort of research assignment with primary or secondary scjo homework / studying
A lot of us took care of our younger ones after school and still did our homework and made good grades
It's not that deep

We talking different things here. I am talking about people who employ 11 and 15 years olds and not 24. A 24 years old is neigher a child nor a teenager.

Siblings usually are maybe 2-4 years difference in age gap. It's different from an 11year old child looking after an 18months old child and as a job.

The truth is that our children are our most precioius "asset"

Watches, food and jewellery can be replaced, but our children cannot be replaced if God forbid anything happens to them,

I am an advocate of making sure the children have the best where possible.
There was a point at which all my salary went on nursery fees. The kid in question is now in Uni. . . no more nursery fees! - no condition is permanent.
At the time I had friends only spending a quarter on that on abe ile child minders but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I also heard many unpalatable stories too even in obodo oyibo.

My little advise to people with young kids is to always go for the most quality care for your kids
These things don't last forever and its a sacrifice that one has to make once one has made the decision to bring kids into this world.
Treat care givers well as in many cases that will give them a conscience.

The parents should be spending more quality awake time with their kids than any caregiver and if this is not the case, then things need to be reviewed.
Arrange your hours/job/career as much as you can to live a healthy work/life/family balance.

I've worked part time hours for many years so I can be there for my family and I have just cut my coat according to my ankara.
The thing pains me small during bonus time, but I am at the school gates every morning and afternoon and that compensates.

I know its not easy with young kids . . ive been there so I know but things do get better with time. May God continue to be with them all.

Kimoni:


There is nothing wrong with public schools if that is what you can afford. I know thousands of people who passed through public schools and are outstanding in their respective fields today, at least Lagos I know.

Pls hire an adult henceforth, someone who is old enough to face you and negotiate her terms. Source them from an agency with a good reputation amongst your friends or colleagues and get someone who is happy doing the job and not forced to work.

Like Nihilist said, bringing in a child from her poor parents to a better environment is supposed to be a win-win situation for both the adopted and biological mothers, especially in a country with a high inequality index like Nigeria; unfortunately, this privilege has been abused by many and it is now easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a family to convince the world they are indeed treating these wards right. But that doesn't mean there are no success stories, of course there are. It's just a case of too many bad eggs...

If you are convinced yourself within you that you treated her right, pls move on and learn from this experience. Nobody can pass the guilty verdict on you if you indeed treated her right.

A sensible post. I have read of maids eating with different plates. I don't see the rationale behind that. My helper eats from the same pot with the same plates and cups with my kids on the dining. Uses the same toilet soaps with us but have her towels to herself.

The same tailor is making their Xmas dresses, although different styles and colours as some would want me to believe that I should use the same colours & styles to prove my "innocence" as if they are Aso-ebi lined up for a wedding.

My helper sleeps with my 9yr old kid & I see no big deal in date.

She might be a child but should do some basic chores not necessarily over burdensome. But inasmuch as she is outside her mum's care, she will feel bad.

Am not good & I don't intend getting some likes but merely stating the obvious. My 12yrs old girl washes my car pretty well & does it well but she will see it as ill treatment if she were living outside her home. That is understandable. But it doesn't stop us from handing the kids basic chores. My kids bring in d groceries with my helper and that doesn't make them lesser beings.

Oh my 9yr old is a human rights activist. Whilst taking her "mama oyoyo" she will demand for the helper's own. I don't create class or caste system in my home

As for choice of school, it's always "if it were your child could you have enrolled her in public school?". I had that challenges & wanted to change my husband nieces schools to private but he stood his ground. Today they are in higher institutions. Today my kids are in public school (though boarding ) and "no comments". It's like that.

My previous helper (19yr) was in a private school too because my kids were in boarding. There is no big deal in that.

Let's face the issues, take the learning and not necessarily pour venom because nobody is a saint.

@glossy quick question
I didn't realise that there are public boarding schools. I thought that they were all day schools.
Are these in Lagos?
Do you pay for boarding or is it free?
Thanks

babygirlfl:


Government schools in Nigeria used to be good but not anymore. If the government school they mean is like the last one I saw the last time I visited Nigeria or like the one in this picture, then no child should be there.

Also my main point is that children should not be nannies. I got maternity leave after I had my child and trust me, looking after a child is a full time job. It should not be what a student does because she will have no time to study.
A student can help around the house because ideally, house chores do get to a point you can leave for another day but looking after a child is round the clock. I went for further studies after I had my child and even as an adult that I am, it was difficult. Hubby had to look after my cutie a lot of the time for me to be able to study. How then can a kid/teenager look after a child and study?

Government schools especially in Lagos are not totally write offs. They employ qualified teachers unlike some 3 bedroom flats private schools that employs SSCE attempted graduates as teachers.

As for nannies stuff, babies should be in creche if there is no grown up to perform that task but keeping someone's child at home to look after your baby while her mates are in school is totally unfair.

But as for maids or helpers, they may not be totally avoided for the average working mother.

tearoses:
@glossy quick question
I didn't realise that there are public boarding schools. I thought that they were all day schools.
Are these in Lagos?
Do you pay for boarding or is it free?
Thanks

Enough tearoses

Lagos State Government colleges have boarding facilities - Kanko(hope I spelt right) and a host of others are primarily boarding schools. Even Federal government colleges are classified as publics secondary schools naa

It's not free oo at least in my days

something else we are not taking into consideration regarding this discussion is cultural and geographical differences.

Labour is not cheap and readily available in the west, so those who live here do everything ourselves. The hubby's are more hands on and we find ways to make life easier for us, however in Nigeria there are more hands available, be it relatives and house helps and so they get to do most of the housework

I have a 12 year old too and she cannot carry a bucket of water talk less of wash a car and that is because there is no need to. So if she comes to your house, she will cry 24/7
But I see where you are coming from because your daughter is able to do it, so you will expect any 12 year old to do it and you genuinely mean no harm.

I will be honest here and say that Nigeria life doesn't make it easy. i wash my car probably 8 times a year here why the cars in Nigeria have to be cleaned everyday, and everything in Nigeria takes that much more effort to do
I havent got a problem with having house-helps, but not kids and for them to be treated fairly and well as they are human beings too.

Kimoni:


Enough tearoses

Lagos State Government colleges have boarding facilities - Kanko(hope I spelt right) and a host of others are primarily boarding schools. Even Federal government colleges are classified as publics secondary schools naa

It's not free oo at least in my days

I honestly didnt know and I didnt connect the FCCG's as public schools
I had visions of the school that baby posted up there
Fair enough

tearoses:
@glossy quick question
I didn't realise that there are public boarding schools. I thought that they were all day schools.
Are these in Lagos?
Do you pay for boarding or is it free?
Thanks

I didn't know initially but stumbled on it while seeking admission for my daughter into Nigerian Navy Secondary School.

Lagos state have upgraded and model colleges scattered all over Lagos. No tuition fees but boarding fees is 25k per term. Most of them are full boarding with few day. When you get there you see parents with jeeps dropping their kids.

Admission forms 15k or more if go through your child's school are obtained from Fidelity bank and slips obtained from Lagos State exams board, near NYSC camp Ipaja. Then proceed to online application.

glossy6:


I didn't know initially but stumbled on it while seeking admission for my daughter into Nigerian Navy Secondary School.

Lagos state have upgraded and model colleges scattered all over Lagos. No tuition fees but boarding fees is 25k per term. Most of them are full boarding with few day. When you get there you see parents with jeeps dropping their kids.

Admission forms 15k or more if go through your child's school are obtained from Fidelity bank and slips obtained from Lagos State exams board, near NYSC camp Ipaja. Then proceed to online application.

This is one of the most useful pieces of information I have read here on NL

its useful in the fact that if someone wants to sponsor a child and for the funds not being diverted, there is an option.

Thank you

Kimono, favoredgirl My office is close to the house and quite close to My boy's daycare, he's now in the reception class. I don't drive yet (too scared), but will learn now.

My parents and Mother in law are in Abuja, I am in Lagos.... the reason I'm in this dilemma.

It's all good though. I will make my decisions by January.

babygirlfl I implore you to do some researches before commenting next time. If you see this girl's school, you will want to enroll yourself. It's not that picture. Haba. I wouldn't even want people to see me in that environment.

tearoses.. where you put all those words before?

soonest. people easily misunderstand others. Thank you.

Rukemi291:
Kimono, favoredgirl My office is close to the house and quite close to My boy's daycare, he's now in the reception class. I don't drive yet (too scared), but will learn now.

My parents and Mother in law are in Abuja, I am in Lagos.... the reason I'm in this dilemma.

It's all good though. I will make my decisions by January.

babygirlfl I implore you to do some researches before commenting next time. If you see this girl's school, you will want to enroll yourself. It's not that picture. Haba. I wouldn't even want people to see me in that environment.

tearoses.. where you put all those words before?

I didn't know I offended you o!
I just said it as I saw it

babygirlfl:


We talking different things here. I am talking about people who employ 11 and 15 years olds and not 24. A 24 years old is neigher a child nor a teenager.

Siblings usually are maybe 2-4 years difference in age gap. It's different from an 11year old child looking after an 18months old child and as a job.

That's child labor, what I was addressing was the ability to go to school and be a nanny as well

Anyways bo wahala. Do have a nice day