Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature ) how is the journey so far

only thing I would say to u is to be focused, alredy u av made up ur mind not to marry him but due to d fact dat he keeps pressurizing u...u want to accept.


if u know he z not attracted to u,don't let him in to avoid stories dat touch but..


if age no de ur side, sista run go Marry her

note..he loves u dat anytin u do , he sees it as a good thing, dat kind of a man will never let u down...


follow ur mind sha

My sister, run before it's too late if you think you can't cope with his looks!

Young03:
only thing I would say to u is to be focused, alredy u av made up ur mind not to marry him but due to d fact dat he keeps pressurizing u...u want to accept.


if u know he z not attracted to u,don't let him in to avoid stories dat touch but..


if age no de ur side, sista run go Marry her

note..he loves u dat anytin u do , he sees it as a good thing, dat kind of a man will never let u down...


follow ur mind sha

So he's the only one to be happy in the marriage, what about my own happiness?

That's selfish to me

Chaiii...see description

Bending head shaped, undefined complexion...man pikin don suffer, I wish I can drag that guy to nairaland so he can tap sense...op take heart in advance cos after marriage you go hear as blues go change to reggae

Omotayor123:
My sister, run before it's too late if you think you can't cope with his character!

The character for now seems nice but it looks fake or something that he's enduring just to get me, cos since I don't like him at all, I don't bother with all those visitations to really access him and whenever he invites and say no he doesn't complain about it.

If this guy were your brother, would you have loved someone to play with his feelings Its possible the dude wants to settle down, so i beg you in the name of whatever you believe in, stop wasting his time and wait for your mr handsome to come your way tell him to find his way for one mans poison is another mans food

Please don't marry him.,wait for your Mr handsome, he will surely come. Thou it tarries he will surely come. I hope you're not saying all these things because of your friends? But pray n wait. Meanwhile, men are suppose to love their wife more. Shallom.

This one is simple na... You don't love the man; end the relationship shikena! Don't marry anyone because of pity. Trust me you gonna regret it.

pet4ril:
If this guy were your brother, would you have loved someone to play with his feelings Its possible the dude wants to settle down, so i beg you in the name of whatever you believe in, stop wasting his time and wait for your mr handsome to come your way tell him to find his way for one mans poison is another mans food

Huh? So caring, do you care for his contact?

kagorba3:


The character for now seems nice but it looks fake or something that he's enduring just to get me, cos since I don't like him at all, I don't bother with all those visitations to really access him and whenever he invites and say no he doesn't complain about it.

Chai... He's probably waiting till you are hooked. If you don't love him pls. Let him go!

kagorba3:



Huh? So caring, do you care for his contact?

keep it with you and let him find his way........ Time waits for nobody

Op from your moniker do you drink that wine called kagor?





Lalasticlala help move her ministry to fp na this kind gist I dey like

pet4ril:
keep it with you and let him find his way........ Time waits for nobody

Babes keep your desperation for separate Lane cos I can't trade my lifetime happiness for a day ceremony

note: he is not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude i'm into his money

*scoffs* maybe i'm d only one who read dis d wrong way

Truth is that, there is something that attracts a woman to a man, his commitment, wealth, appearance, focus and determination, nobody really has it all. Secondly I believe that you can grow to love someone, ending up neglecting his or her obvious shortfall(s), but do not marry out of desperation. If you really do not have an iota of love for him, that can be nurtured and u think his appearance does not just cut it, you need to tell him on time and save they both of you a lot of problems in future. Thirdly, learn to bridle your mouth, ladies with uncontrollable mouth are turn offs, even to that prince charming you hope and dream for. Lastly, If you decide to end up with that 'young man' you just finished described, I hope that you are very very pretty so as to neutralise that his genes that will be passed onto your daughter otherwise....

whatever your reasons are, its not enough for you to give a man false hopes. you do not have a good heart @OP, if not you would not say that your man has fixed a date for the wedding, and you are still using the time left to hope that a better man will come. why not tell him outright that you do not dig him? so if the better man comes 2 days to the date of the wedding you will cancel it and follo d better man? at the end when such hrtbroken men revenge on u girls, e go b say sum men are wicked

Please send me his number.

I will help you put away your misery.

The young man deserves better. Only short sighted people discriminate based on what someone has no control over.

Please tell him you are not interested and he will find his level.

If tomorrow, there is an accident (God forbid), I hope you will have something to glory or boast of when the face is shattered.

In your write up, you didn't state how you are contributing to the union except the free gift of nature you are boasting of.

Don't get me wrong, you are entitled to what you want.

My point is no reason to string the young man along when he is not attractive to you.

This is all I've got to say to you kagorba3

It's much better to marry a man that loves you more than you love him than marry a man you love more than he loves you...

The "not loving him" thing, usually will change during the course of the marriage. But If you end up with a man that doesn't adore you just cause of kids wey you never born.. Na frustrated life dey wait for you.. Cause if a man doesn't love you he doesn't love you.

Thread carefully and don't make decision you'll regret with time.

Very funny gal.! I just pity d man in question, op u can get all wat u want n need in life. Just simply apply law of attraction. I've once been in dat state bug thanks be to God, I'm way better off now. Don't wana tell u how I survived, might be too risky for u besides how old are u?

All i can see is that the man love u and express it but you don't requite the love.
I will advise you to let him know that you don't love him. Let him move on so that he will stop living on forlorn hope. Trust me it's a win-win...

kagorba3:


Babes keep your desperation for separate Lane cos I can't trade my lifetime happiness for a day ceremony

desperation ke? Please let the guy go, keeping him may just be hindering your dream man

bellong:
Please send me his number.

I will help you put away your misery.

The young man deserves better. Only short sighted people discriminate based on what someone has no control over.

Please tell him you are not interested and he will find his level.

If tomorrow, there is an accident (God forbid), I hope you will have something to glory or boast of when the face is shattered.

In your write up, you didn't state how you are contributing to the union except the free gift of nature you are boasting of.

Don't get me wrong, you are entitled to what you want.

My point is no reason to string the young man along when he is not attractive to you.

Eod

She's foul mouthed and proud about it. . She hasn't 'entered' the marriage, yet anticipating the day she'll "yab" him during quarrels. .preparing for a fight already?

Op, please let the man go.. He'll find a better person.. His look is beyond his control!

And NO, it isn't bad you want someone handsome. .However, why leading him on? Why don't you let him go already? The way you even described him in ur post shows you have no love for him.. pls let him go...

March is only 4months away.
What did you set for March?

Why let it get that far when you're not really into him. You're even keeping him as a back up plan in case someone better looking comes knocking.
Put yourself in his shoes and see if that's a situation you'd like to find yourself in.

tweeby:
Very funny gal.! I just pity d man in question, op u can get all wat u want n need in life. Just simply apply law of attraction. I've once been in dat state bug thanks be to God, I'm way better off now. Don't wana tell u how I survived, might be too risky for u besides how old are u?

Please tell me how you managed the situation and come out of it, forget my age cos even if I was to be 35 have always choose happiness over desperation.

Op DON'T DO IT!you can't manage a man.Having some sort of attraction goes a long way..trust me on that!You agreed to him setting a date for march and he irritates you.I laugh in swahili.I give the marriage 6 months tops.You will come back to nairaland and give us the feedback.Even for a man you love,at times he can be so annoying that you just want to scream at him.Let alone the one that you are not attracted to,neither do you repect or have some sort of affection for.I understand your situation because I have come across many guys like that.There's a guy I have known since 2005.We have been friends all along.In 2013 he started professing love for me.He is a good guy,very godly and smart.He is someone I know I can call by 3.am in the morning if I am stranded,and he will run to my rescue.My sister,I tried.. the love did not come o.He practically dotes on me but I just didn't know why I couldn't feel a thing.He nags like a woman and acts like he owns me in a very possessive way.Imagine him showing up unnanounced to my school to see me from a distance of 3 hrs journey and other obsessive stuff.Most guys that try so hard to land a babe,even when they knoww she is not into him are mostly pretenders and very dangerous.Its when you get married you start seeing that everything was a set up to make you like him.That's where you discover he has a temper,wheras when he was still toasting you he never even frowned at anything you did.Don't fall for that shii o.I had to be blunt and tell him that its not going to work,because I can't marry someone I don't feel so happy being around.Funny enough,he is so persistent that I now have a fiance o,he is still entertaining hopes that we may still end up together.Please break up with the dude,he doesn't deserve to be led on.I advice you to relax and just do you,eventually you'll meet a man you can love and respect.This marriage thing is for life o.For me its the scariest thing after ebola virus,because you just can't afford to be dismissive about serious red flags.If you end up marrying him,have a child and all.Only for you to get divorced,you would have suceeded in being the reason for a child growing up without a proper home and loving parents.

why are you dating a man you are not physically attracted to? Why should a man you claim you haven't say yes to fix a date for 'the main thing' which i assume is marriage? well, if you know you don't love him and you are not physically attracted to him don't marry. you can never force it!

Don't marry that man please

The most abused word in the 21st century.... LOVE.

This thread is one of the reasons we have so many fractured, battered and disintegrated homes these days.

Lack of depth from intending couples.

Love has never and can never be equated to butterfly feelings. Until people get that part right, there will always be conflict in decision making and what love is.

You feel irritated in his presence and when you are with him you look at your watch because you want to quickly get away from him and yet you are considering saying yes to till death do us part? Are you mad?