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Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by sleek82(m): 9:38am On Dec 01, 2015
ideyhere:


Perfect answer to this question... Thank you for your honesty jare.
i would say theres nothing perfect nor honest in this answer he just gave (my opinion).What if she marries that very handsome man and gives birth to an slowpoke or a child with down syndrome? Why would you look out for looks in man ahead of his inner qualities? You need to understand that a man can easily look out for these things in a woman, focus on making his money and end up getting them even if he marries at 40....can a woman do the same?
You need to understand that if that guy was that ugly, she wont even be considering anything, let alone coming here to ask for opinions. I think being beautiful or handsome is a relative term. Kate henshaw is a beautiful woman but ugly if compared to beyonce. So is john terry a handsome man but ugly if compared to zlatan ibrahimovic. So many people say oshiomole is ugly but i would say he is handsome compared to aristide bance of burkina faso!

4 Likes

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nemesis99(m): 9:42am On Dec 01, 2015
Let's assume your kid sis walks up to you and needs yur advice on something like this, what wld yur response be? Another thing is that why stày with him this long when u feel nothing for him? Better don't act silly by breaking his heart o if u don't want karma to get vexed

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by jackpot(f): 9:43am On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:


I can't access my mail right now, you can call this number 0811 556 1380

Help me by not quoting it so it will be easy to edit
I don quote am. Bite me.

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by mradjoy(m): 9:43am On Dec 01, 2015
Mindfulness:
You feel irritated in his presence and when you are with him you look at your watch because you want to quickly get away from him and yet you are considering saying yes to till death do us part? Are you mad?
Funny, but logical! grin grin
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by attention007(m): 9:49am On Dec 01, 2015
You only described the guy but you forgot to tell us if you are beautiful or not-so-fine
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by id4sho(m): 9:56am On Dec 01, 2015
It's like u want to be an old spinster. You've not seen beautiful and pretty ladies seriously searching for husband lyk mad,willing to take others husband. Start attending Pentecostal churches where pretty ladies come to pulpit for husband prayers.



Receive sense IJN...
.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by amiskurie(m): 10:19am On Dec 01, 2015
Nigerian guys deserves better than all these hoe-low-shows.

Arrhh!

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by qtx(m): 10:22am On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:
Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature angry) how is the journey so far

lol, very funny u. U said u are fine, yet your mouth is terrible. u better not marry him so u wont use mouth to make him commit murder one day. Of course you cant marry out of pity. Just close your heart and tell him so you can live freely whoever God wants for you can come at his own time for you. Even though appearance alone does not make a marriage a good one but it counts to some extent. I stumbled into this site and i think it will help you http://courtshipandmarriage.com/courtship/important-courtship-marriage-part/
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by timmycris(m): 10:57am On Dec 01, 2015
The same way you are not attracted to some guyz u love!
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nobody: 10:58am On Dec 01, 2015
Thread such as this goes further to prove that NOT every lady out there who desire marriage will ever get married.

Dear Op, siddon dia dey wait for ur prince charming u hear? You can even write and apply to Ramsey Nouah to be his second abi third wife sef. Who cares? Abi no be handsome man u fine?

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Chigold101(m): 11:01am On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:
Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature angry) how is the journey so far

lolzzz your children will come out beautiful and handsome and lovely too.
I don't believe in the myth of girls taken after their father because my first daughter is a carbon copy of my wife. It is even my last daughter that looks like me...


But please do not marry because of pressure. I am a christian and I believe in praying for God's will when it comes to marriage. Marriage is not always sugar and honey. Sometimes it is bitter leaf and pepper. If you marry a person u don't have feeling for, time of bitterleaf and pepper might become very bitter.

If u a Christian make u go to God in prayer and fasting, if you be Pentecostal, make u go to ur pastors wife and share with her.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by InZA: 11:04am On Dec 01, 2015
I just don't understand why some people say all a lady needs in a marriage is a man who loves her...That's just torture - being in a relationship with a man who loves you but you don't love

Never settle for a lobe-sided relationship. Both of you must be crazy about each other for you to really enjoy your union. I was almost going into a relationship where the girl practically worshipped my whiff, but I didn't feel anything for her.


It's so thrilling to love someone... Never settle for a relationship where the other person loves you, when you can't even stand the person... Love doesn't always grow with time.

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by ghostwritter(m): 11:34am On Dec 01, 2015
kittykat1:


Take this from a big sister, don't say yes. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to marry a man with the qualities you want. Men rarely ever manage a woman who doesn't have what they want. Why should you manage?
Moreover, your fellow women that have had patience and married the men of their dreams don't have 2 heads. Write down the 10 qualities you want in man and stick to it. Be more out going . Make sure you meet a new guy every week. Be friends with them and be nice too.

Soon you will come across the man you desire.

-for ur mind abi?
-Meeting new guys every week abi?
-listing 10 qualities she want in a guy abi?
-she should be friendly and nice to them abi?

*shoro niyén?*

Wake-up 'BIG SISTER' and stop watching too much fake nolly/golly movies. Even Mr. Perfect is not perfect, and besides, no man wants an abusive lady (op) for a wife....i will kill her personally.

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by kunlexze(m): 11:46am On Dec 01, 2015
"he is not a rich guy"

had it been the dude is a governor(like oshiomole) the #op won't be here seeking for advice.ladies and money

#SMH
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Obaf16(f): 12:38pm On Dec 01, 2015
Mindfulness:
You feel irritated in his presence and when you are with him you look at your watch because you want to quickly get away from him and yet you are considering saying yes to till death do us part? Are you mad?
Thanks for ur question,i wonder wot is happening dis days to we youth, op u better let him go.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Curvinus(m): 1:10pm On Dec 01, 2015
There is no point in hating on the op as this is female hypergamy at its best. The op is fully within her limits to not want to marry this unrelenting schmuck that she is not one bit attracted to.

Female hupergamy it was in the past that helped ensure only the best specie survived, aka the strongest, cutest, toughest or whatever order the given ecosystem predetermined. But with the advance in medical science, every Tom, Dick and Harry, including the ugly duckling now have a chance of survival.

But trust nature and its way of ensuring that only the best specie is preserved which is why our lady feels nothing for this small time Charlie. Attraction is nature 's way of taking over you for sometime so that you can copulate. If this doesn't happen naturally, there's no point forcing it as the whole thing'll just end in bucketloads of tears. My humble submission.

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Ballmer: 1:16pm On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:


I can't access my mail right now, you can call this number 081

Help me by not quoting it so it will be easy to edit
alright
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nobody: 1:27pm On Dec 01, 2015
sleek82:
i would say theres nothing perfect nor honest in this answer he just gave (my opinion).What if she marries that very handsome man and gives birth to an slowpoke or a child with down syndrome? Why would you look out for looks in man ahead of his inner qualities? You need to understand that a man can easily look out for these things in a woman, focus on making his money and end up getting them even if he marries at 40....can a woman do the same?

She should marry someone she feels attracted to who has good inner qualities and is compatible with her and not someone she despises right from the get go. Stop acting like women have no right or shouldn't look out for the full package or what they desire.

You need to understand that if that guy was that ugly, she wont even be considering anything, let alone coming here to ask for opinions. I think being beautiful or handsome is a relative term. Kate henshaw is a beautiful woman but ugly if compared to beyonce. So is john terry a handsome man but ugly if compared to zlatan ibrahimovic. So many people say oshiomole is ugly but i would say he is handsome compared to aristide bance of burkina faso!

Some people will consider Kate more beautiful than Beyonce, same with John Terry and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Everyone has a different taste so she should free the man so that he can also find someone who appreciates him. Just because she doesn't find him attractive, doesn't mean another woman won't.

I can't understand how people will advise anyone to marry a person they so much despise.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by preetyb(f): 1:30pm On Dec 01, 2015
Dear I ve seen two gud looking couples that gave birth to ugly children. And I also have seen two ugly couples that gave birth to beautiful children. So my sister in the lord some times it is by luck.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nobody: 1:50pm On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:
Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature angry) how is the journey so far



Ma eldest bro is looking for a wife to marry, he is based in delta though, very handsome dude. View ma profile u see ma pics, picture a finer dude with similar resemblance, but the pro is you really have to be beautiful if u wan a handsome dude he ain't into ugly girls. So if u ready n fine make I refer u to am ASAP
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Kidswifty: 1:56pm On Dec 01, 2015
Omotayor123:
My sister, run before it's too late if you think you can't cope with his looks!

So your own problem is looks abi undecided may God help you sad
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by kittykat1(f): 2:33pm On Dec 01, 2015
9jaAmerican:
ashewo leleyi sha!

What does what I wrote have to do with prostitution? You guys never cease to amaze me!
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by kittykat1(f): 2:42pm On Dec 01, 2015
ghostwritter:


-for ur mind abi?
-Meeting new guys every week abi?
-listing 10 qualities she want in a guy abi?
-she should be friendly and nice to them abi?

*shoro niyén?*

Wake-up 'BIG SISTER' and stop watching too much fake nolly/golly movies. Even Mr. Perfect is not perfect, and besides, no man wants an abusive lady (op) for a wife....i will kill her personally.

10 qualities means that I accept that there is no Perfect man. If assumed that there are perfect men, I will ask her to list 100 qualities or 1000. Reducing the qualities to ten, helps one to put into perspective what characters really matters to one.

When you write it down, you are able to know if you are writing frivolous qualities or qualities that are important. When you have small number written down, you are able to focus on the people that have what you need. So you don't come back to Nairaland to say you met a man that is 97 years and stinkingly rich but kind. Should I marry him? But on your list you wrote 35 years as the maximum. Your list has already eliminated the 97 year old man.

Yes you must be friendly to people , even if you don't date them. Being polite and nice is a good character that everyone should imbibe. It brings good will. The people you meet can make or mar you tomorrow.

Finally, why do Nigerians get scared when they are told to go out and meet people?

Fuel attendants, Restuarant sales girls, bank marketers, air hostesses, governors, ministers, managers of companies meet several people everyday . Are they prostitutes?

Putting yourself in a position where you meet people everyday strengthens your network and networking skills. It makes you a better person. It helps you to broaden your choices and not focus on one person. It also stops you from being desperate .
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by tpiah99: 3:56pm On Dec 01, 2015
BoboYekini:
Word.
Of course only a woman can bring NOTHING to the table and yet make demands.

you are so bitter, wonder why you think you bring anything anywhere.

1 Like

Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nobody: 4:47pm On Dec 01, 2015
tpiah99:


you are so bitter, wonder why you think you bring anything anywhere.
Isn't it time you left me alone? Yes you'll miss me but you'll live. smiley I'm not your husband.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by iamdapsyj(m): 4:48pm On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:
Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature angry) how is the journey so far


My dear I can sense that u are highly mouthed and funny By the way......


If u can't cope with his physical appearance right now, you would eventually hate him when u get married. You have even in ur own wisdom sighted some of the eventualities.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by iamdapsyj(m): 4:56pm On Dec 01, 2015
Graxie:
Please don't marry him.,wait for your Mr handsome, he will surely come. Thou it tarries he will surely come. I hope you're not saying all these things because of your friends? But pray n wait. Meanwhile, men are suppose to love their wife more. Shallom.

Pls ma, I'm interested to know more about the last statement.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Baddo101(m): 7:55pm On Dec 01, 2015
kagorba3:
Right now I'm confused and frustrated at the same time still I don't wanna make lifetime mistakes.


Here is my plight...There's is a young man seriously in love with me but I'm far from liking him let alone love him yet he wouldn't stop, this his relenting spirit kinda attracted me to him but still I can't find a place in my heart to accommodate him, everything about him just irritate me, he laughs uncontrollably over my not so funny jokes, from the look of things he seems so happy and settled with me yet I'm at the opposite end, whenever we have a date I do keep an eye on my wrist watch and keep wishing time flies so fast.

But I discover he is serious and focused and sound to interact and have a meaningful convo with but his physical looks is just a big turn off, I really wanna give birth to lovely kids not some "oputu poyoyo" please y'all should not tell me to look beyond looks cos these things do come into play...I'm saying this cos my mouth no good oh, anyday we have any misunderstanding I might mistakenly yab away his future.

I have been postponing giving him a yes hoping for someone presentable to show these signs of seriousness but no way, now he has fix March for the main thing, all my thoughts now is how can I maneuver my way and make all my kids take after my beauty instead of his and it's my baby girl I'm so scared for cos most baby girls take over their dad.

Note: he's not rich oh just a struggling guy before y'all will conclude I'm into his money, the only thing is he acts different from the rest that will just act so sex starved, any focus girl wants a focused guy too but to tell y'all the truth I'm still in doubt since I don't feel a thing for him and he seem not to be bothered which I'm certain he will after the main thing.

Please to the lovely ladies that once said yes to a not so presentable guy(I mean a man with bending shaped head, undefined complexion and petit in nature angry) how is the journey so far

Eyaa.. Op from ur write ups U av concluded u arnt into the guy and i guess u av this pride, n feeling of high level chic or what will people say about me and dis ugly dude. its ok. its ur personality. however please follow ur heart desires abeg.

if ur mind doesnt go after him i think its better u let him know instead of u dyeing in silence. Note that No human is perfect.

Furthermore, Facial looks shouldnt be used to judge someone wat if the handsome guy u now end up wth eventually had an accident which resulted to a facial damage? will u still run after other men??

If u are a christian i guess u seek God face on the matter if it is God's will for u.

The Guy seems to love u but its unfortunate he has not sensed it that u dont love him back. I wud av asked how long av u been in the relationship cos as time goes on his eyes fit open and he will know he is the only one in the relationship.

If i were the guy i will borrow legs and run as far as i can from u cos to me u are capable of poisoning the Man one day if eventually u guyz get married.


However if age is still on ur side den Good luck to U. Cos i know ladies tend to fade after certain age..
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by sanctisam(m): 8:07pm On Dec 01, 2015
I read through and I just *SMH*

It's a good thing that you've sort for advice, for even the scriptures reveals that in the multitude of counsels there is wisdom/guidance. I just hope you've sort from the right place. It's not for me to say.

If you are a christian I'd suggest Jer. 17:9/10a, Matthew 15:19 and finally Prov. 3:5-7. Better than I'd advice I pray the Holy Spirit guides you through these scriptures and more.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by itstpia8: 8:26pm On Dec 01, 2015
BoboYekini:
Isn't it time I left me alone? Yes I'll miss me but I'll live. smiley I'm not my husband.

I told you I just got married this year and am currently on my honeymoon.


se this information no dey vex you sha?
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by Nobody: 8:31pm On Dec 01, 2015
itstpia8:


I told you I just got married this year and am currently on my honeymoon.


se this information no dey vex you sha?
cheesy Do you have a text file for all these your ids? I'm sure it's the same password for every one though.
Re: Dear Family Please Advice A Wife To Be!!! by itstpia8: 8:36pm On Dec 01, 2015
BoboYekini:
cheesy Do you have a text file for all these your ids? I'm sure it's the same password for every one though.

are you on eskimi and I hope my photos are not in your possession?


How did you get them if they are?

did somebody give them to you?

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