Hey guys, I opened this account just for this reason alone, I just can't use my popular Nairaland moniker. I'm a very active and popular member on Nairaland but I'm using this moniker because you guys might give bias advise if you all know who I'm.

I'm 27, I work, not earning high though, but enough to keep me financially independent to some degree to fix my basic needs and wants.

I'm dating Daniel, I'm in love with him, he is 29, he works for an average firm, his pay is just like mine, just average pay. But enough for basic up keep and basic "flexing". Now I wanna tell you what's so special about Daniel, he is 6 feet tall, he is not too slim and not muscular, he has not just a handsome face but a pretty one, he makes my intelligence seem like ignorance with his high level of intellect and smartness, he has taught me a lot I couldn't have learnt even at Harvard University, calling him intelligent is an understatement! And about intimacy, ladies, have you ever met a guy who is so good in bed that you can hardly resist him even when you are in your worst mood? Daniel is just something else in bed, he is perfect in bed. His is a firm and loving guy, he doesn't tolerate me behaving silly but yet he still draws me closer if I behave silly. He has never hit me even when I get on his nerves, he acts calm and collected and goes silent if he is not in the mood to put me in my right place with his some harsh words.

Career wise Daniel has focus and has a vision where he sees himself in the next 5 years. He is my 3rd ever boyfriend and he is the type any girl would wanna keep.

Now the only issue with us is that Daniel has told me he would be ready to get married when he 31 years, that's 2 years from now, he has calculated everything for me to see how it would take 2 years before he is ready financially and otherwise, he is not a fantasy dreamer who thinks he would win a jackpot and marry tomorrow therefore his 31 years age mark of getting married considering his current job and future career prospects.

Now guy number 2 is called Joe, he is 32, he is a very high earner financially, generally he is a nice guy, handsome, neat and a gentleman.

I met him at my place of work some months ago, although he doesn't work there, he had a project with us which made him to frequently be at my work place a lot during that period. From the initial familiarity talks and all he stated it from the beginning that he wants me as a wife and he has observed me for about a month and I'm the one but I always sternly told him I'm dating someone else I love and nothing can happen between him and I. He has asked I follow him to his family house to see his mom on a couple of occasions, I refused on all occasions. I have never accepted to even hang out with him for once, we just talk on phone and chat.

I was surprised when one day at work during break at the cafeteria he came with his mom, he smiled and left us alone, his mom looked me straight into the eyes and told me that as a woman she gives me her word and she is telling me that her son is for real and not just after sleeping with me, she even told me that she already told her son she will not vouch for him if he wanted a sex involved courtship with me. And she also told me she liked me the first time he son secretly brought her to the office so she can see me. She also said if I agree the families would commence marriage plans after Joe and I have had about 3 months of courtship, after which we would do all medical tests and proceed to the actual wedding proper.

My dilemma now is this; In 2 years from now, would Daniel still love me and remain faithful to me and still keep to his promise to marry me? If I decide to wait for Daniel, in 2 years from now I would be 29, isn't that too much of a risk to take?

My parents and relatives keep pestering me about marriage and in my family all ladies get married before they reach 27, I'm the only person who has clocked 27 without being married yet.

I'm in love with Daniel, I'm crazy for that boy, but Joe on the other hand offers me what Daniel can't offer for now. I don't have feelings for John at this stage and to be fair he is the type of guy any girl can fall madly in love with if given a chance into her life, so my question is this- "Should I wait for Daniel or should I give Joe a chance?"

Please this is more complicated than the popular cliché; "If you are confused about two people to love, pick the new guy because if you really loved the former guy you would not consider the new guy". This is more complicated than that, please I need good opinion and advise, and your reasons for your opinions.

Thank you all!

Cc: Seun, lalasticlala, Rocktation, farano, Mymzcoli, agarawu23, firstEVA, Ishilove, INTROVERT, LadyF, Mynd44. Sveen, Naijaboiy, tosyne2much, Twaci, Dygeasy, Naijasinglegirl, buygala, MadCow1, Cutehector, FriedPlantain, safarigirl, MizMyColi, voltron, Tomfrench, englishmart, SUGARBEE, prettythicksme, RomanceLander, emusmith, wristbangle, Ghostlady, Kachisbarbie, EroticAngelina, dechandel, ireneony, freecocoa, MzNelly, elantraceey, Debby16, Creamish, ijebabe, KashBaby, MissyB3, Fynestboi, cococandy, vizkiz, cocoberry, standd, MrCork, Estharfabian, MrsPhyno, FlirtyKaren, Ladyboss1, debbie, whizqueen, Fabulocity, looseweight, IamMissMarvel, EggovinMma, misspicy, PunkyVeer, Lanicky

Note: I copied all the romance section commentators I know who I'm sure would not disappoint me in giving me good advice.

something about life is that you just have to take risks..
your present bf is the kind most Ladies only dream they have (except the financial aspect)

you also said he has great prospect..I will advice you stick to this girl since you have known him over time... unlike the supposed angel that you vaguely know..

Bringing his home to come convince you is something I ain't comfortable with...

in summary the devil you already know is better than the angel who not really know...

Hehehehe....women issues! Complicated sha! I'd say u tell us why u want to get married and the kind of man u want to get married to. In short, what u want out of marriage.

Oboy see novel... I will read later at night

Buh why do u hav to create a new moniker just to air ur problems...

Complicated issue hmmmm

Give the second guy a chance. No time, but try to study him very well.

Pray about it ,ask God for directions so you won't make mistake

My dear, God just used us to help someone in your situation. Please I do not want you to think that i am bringing God into this issue. I am in fact doing that, because HE instituted marriage for companionship, care, love and procreation, hence my suggestions;

Firstly, if you a child of God why not just consult God at this moment of crossroad in your marital decision. Pray simple prayer with faith and genuineness of your heart. And you will be amaze how God will answer.

Secondly, this is from the first, which is God could answer you via dreams, through a vision, men of God or He could just speak through someone known or unknown to you to deliver the message to you. On the case we just handled, the lady prayed as advised and she got answer through 7 people of her choice as mentioned in her prayers which include her mother, pastors and some friends and they never knew her prayer points.

Lastly, if you have your heart fixed to Daniel while praying you may simply be seen him and him alone. Most of us will only give you human advice but God's order in your marriage is everlasting...

May God help you.

K

CORDROSS:
My dear, God just used us to help someone in your situation. Please I do not want you to think that i am bringing God into this issue. I am in fact doing that, because HE instituted marriage for companionship, care, love and procreation, hence my suggestions;

Firstly, if you a child of God why not just consult God at this moment of crossroad in your marital decision. Pray simple prayer with faith and genuineness of your heart. And you will be amaze how God will answer.

Secondly, this is from the first, which is God could answer you via dreams, through a vision, men of God or He could just speak through someone known or unknown to you to deliver the message to you. On the case we just handled, the lady prayed as advised and she got answer through 7 people of her choice as mentioned in her prayers which include her mother, pastors and some friends and they never knew her prayer points.

Lastly, if you have your heart fixed to Daniel while praying you may simply be seen him and him alone. Most of us will only give you human advice but God's order in your marriage is everlasting...

May God help you.

Seconded.. like you know what m abt to type

I don't have much to say other than "the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know". For the first guy to tell you his plans and to tell you a specific time when he will be ready to settle down with shows how serious he is to you and as for the second guy, you don't know him. The fact that he brought his mom to talk to you shows how desperate he/they are. Three months is too short a time to know and understand each other. Don't be too desperate just because age is no longer on your side, don't rush yourself into marital problems. Marry the one you love, that loves you in return and understands you more and whom you understand as well. Finally pray about it and seek for elderly advise.

Hello sis, i am not a good writer so please get the point.
I love sincerity and a straight shooter but desperation i hate. ask yourself why joe is desperate sort-of? he could have get to know you well enough before mum thing na . you know what you want and and i will give you that but dont let anyone pressure you unnecessarily because you could be walking into a trap full of regret. i'll say take faith into the matter and stick to your guy and put mr joe under advisement.
My dear if you think 2 years is too long think of a lifetime.

This very complicated...u can't date them together @ the same time...
I know u want security in ur life & in urself but u have to choose one...if u have patience to wait for 2 yrs then plz stay, anyway he promised u already he gone marry u..
Love is a sacrifice..u both have to undergo such circumstances to test ur love..

The decision is yours... U know ladies days run with stop watch starting with hours instead of milli-second... so listen carefully the guy wey tell his mom U are pretty can change word and said U are no more we are human beings

Note .am not trying to stop your relationship but an adviser and your family or friends forcing quick marriage on U free them U don't look @other people's watch ok

Daniel Daniel and Daniel.
Babe don't be the one Chris Brown sang about :"these hoe.s ain't loyal .......... " Stay with Daniel and work hard to make the marriage a reality, if possible, contribute financially

Mathematical:

Are you mathematical for real? Then you shouldn't be confused. Do the maths

I really think it's a decision you have to make for yourself.... I have seen so many people that stick together for 10 years plus and got married and a guy that pull out after making it big time.. What am saying is simple as this..... Marriage is very complex, what is working for "A" may not work for "B".. .. I will tell you my mind... don't like what you are doing to my namesake Your decision

This is mind boggling.....

First guy.
Characteristics

Handsome
Intelligent
Good intimacy
Trustworthy
Decent pay
You've been dating for some time.
Has an ambition
His ambition is weighing him down from marrying you quickly
Hasnt introduced you to family?.

Second guy:

Handsome
Neat
A gentleman
Rich
Introduced you to his mum
Seems to be desperate for marriage( He sounds like that kind of guy thats underpressure from relatives to marry quickly as he isnt getting younger.
He observed you for a month and decided he'd like to marry you, though you guys have an option of courtship for three months. BUT you dont feel in love with him, but you do with the first guy.


My Friendly advice: Tell your guy(first one) to introduce you to his family atleast that would show his seriousness in you becoming his wife.
You guys can start preparing now, by going for tests, counselling and what have you.
Dont compare yourself with others who married at age 27, everyone has his/her own destiny.

The worst you'd do in life is comparing yourself with others rather you learn from them. ....
You're still quite far from menopause so pls dont let that weigh you down.


Gracias.

[size=30pt]joe[/size]

He seems desperate and ready to settle down but you need to investigate his past. He is financially OK? What stops him from getting married since? Did he just hit a jackpot that made him ready for marriage? Why bring his mum when the Lady in question isn't giving in? He wants to buy you with his wealth? Abi whats the bla bla bla thing they are saying concerning test and 3 month courtship?.

What his is elationship history? He hasn't dated before? I doubt if a guy like that (as described) won't have ladies he had dated that he can pick one from and marry. Questions you need to think about OP concerning Joe

[size=30pt]Daniel[/size]

If you ask me, I will tell you Daniel dont like you as you thought because if he really do, I don't expect him to give you such crap! About being ready in 2years time. If he doesnt want to lose you to another guy, He should come for you right now even if he isn't financially OK (which I blv things will be better as time goes on) or maybe you are in the group of lady who wants expensive wedding . both of you are working therefore the story isn't hard.

Forget JOE desperate search cos the result might not be positive to you in future because he is unknown.

make I wait for comments jor!

Listen and listen carefully...
Will you be happy marrying mr Joe?.. Put yourself in a cinema watching your life in two separate screens.. One for mr Joe and one for mr Daniel... What do you see?
Do you know that there is a possibility that mr Daniel might change his mind and pop the question sooner than later?
What is your reason for marriage?.. Love or just because others are getting married?
There is no right or wrong advice here, the truth is you alone know what you have to do because you alone know your situation more than everyone here..

Pray about it.. Fine.. But also THINK about it too..
Speak with mr Daniel..
Mr Joe just came from nowhere and pointed at you to be his wife as if its a point and kill restaurant in warri.. Life isn't like that..

I don't know either if them but something tells me in your heart of heart you want to stick with Daniel..

Even Mama Joe sef get her own question mark... She shud prolly know you are in a serious relationship but just cos her pikin get money and wan marry she thinks he can just enter market and point to the one he wants.. Haba!

Infact... Do what you like.. Just ensure that you factor in everything, including your emotions and that of others...
Because at the end
















Na you go suffer am if it goes sour

[s]Wait for Daniel!

Wait for Daniel!

Wait for Daniel!

I'm usually very crazy, but I typed "wait for Daniel" because I just saw a prophesy about you.

Wait for Daniel![/s]


So you want to carry that hole that Daniel has drilled countless times and gan give innocent Joe because he has money abi? All the moral investments wey Daniel invest for ya head wey you dy brag about. You wan carry everything go give Joe because he get money?

Do you think Daniel won't marry you if he had the money?
How is this confusing to you sef?

Because your sisters married before 27? Oya Robot! Follow the queue and marry naw!


Mtcheeeeew! Ode!

If you like don't marry Daniel, later you'll come and open another thread "I'm still in love with my ex" or "I made a mistake in Marriage" or "I married a man I don't love, please help me" and by that time. Nobody will help you because when they were talking to you, you and that your coconut head refused to listen. Smh! Women!

will comment at night....lemme book space.....OP has faith in me,i will not disappoint her

it depends on what you want. If you are desperate for marriage better marry Joe. because even In 2 years time things might not still work out for Daniel the way he wants, then no marriage.

He might end up hurt and all But believe me you are doing him a favour. let the guy pursue his dreams without you standing akimbo looking expectantly at him everyday pointing at your biological clock.

He is a focused intelligent guy whatever happens he will get over it. I am speaking from experience.

What if Daniel later disappoints you?

Dear Scented,

Your situation is a complex and complicated one because I know you will be so confused now.

However, from your analysis it shows that Daniel and Joe possess all the qualities a lady wants but the difference is their financial status and time for marriage.

1. Take this to God in prayer. You will definitely get a sign and indication of who will be your future man.

2. From your analysis, it shows you will love Daniel more to Joe. If Daniel is really serious about you,has he introduced you as his future wife to his family? Don't you think Joe as an edge in this area?

misspicy:
will comment at night....lemme book space.....OP has faith in me,i will not disappoint her

Scented = misspicy?

chaii... This knd lng sermon,
someone should hlp me and summarise abeg!

Lemme goan sleep