ANSWER : Its because Marriage is worth quality time and investment !

One *GOOD wife or husband is worth MORE than 50 friends.

Doesn't it still hold true that..."birds of the same feathers flock together?"..like a friend in high school use to say it...

"ornithological specimens of identical plumage invariably conglomerate to the nearest proximity"

My people rendered it better...."Coat get size, look for your own size".

SarahGee:
I wish I knew a better way to rephrase this question. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? It is common among ladies. Some friends even cut ties with their friends once they have a boyfriend! Common b o y f r i e n d !!!

Some own’t even invite their single friends to their weddings or when they do, the single ones are made to wear a different type of asoebi as though they are wild animals that the wedding guests should be cautious of


I guess single people are really wild animals.


I wouldn’t be asking if I haven’t been a victim. A friend of mine got engaged 7 months ago and I was busy turning up and down for her. Her wedding is this coming Saturday and I noticed last night that she’s no longer on my BBM. I feel I don’t deserve it cos I respect people’s space a lot. No matter how close we were before you got hitched, I would respect your privacy once you start a family. I have never ever gone to the house of a married friend on my own volition and I am also quick to turn down invites once I sense that you are inviting me because you feel obligated to. Phone calls or chats once in a blue moon will do for me but there are still friends that will avoid any form of communication with you but run for advice from you as a single person that knows nothing when things get a bit rocky in their marriages. Some even go as far as looking for married friends pen pals on blogs and social networks like they didn’t make their bed.

Since this is now the in-thing, my new motto is ,”Cut the engaged ones off before they cut you!”

http://naijasinglegirl.com/why-do-people-abandon-their-single-friends-after-marriage/

Truth is they were never your friends to begin with
Just do like I do and let them mfkers walk

Most ex runs babes won't want to keep their ex colleagues around after they are now married to avoid 'stories that touch'

Specialbaby:
no i will rather be your semi

You don't want to live in face me I slap you, but a semi - detached?

Bollinger:


OOOooooh. You de find trouble. Temptations abound everywhere. You job is to limit it. Of course married men who hang around other married men cheat. But that is a different topic altogether. First you have to minimize your interactions with single folks. Then also, if you find out that the married individual you are hanging around also has tendencies to lead you astray you avoid them as well. Too easy.

"Minimize your interaction with single folks" This statement is disturbing. It doesn't matter if they are responsible or not, as long as the person is "Single" married individuals should not associate with him/her right? Don't you think this is discrimination? This is exactly what the OP's friend is doing to her. She is throwing away years of friendship because of her new status, at some point, after the excitement wears off, she will reach out to her again. The OP needs to move on from this kind of association as it is not based on sincerity or love. A single person today may be married tomorrow, a married person today may be a widow/seperated/divorced tomorrow, discriminating against someone based on marital status is quite shallow.

@OP I understand how you feel but the question is why did you think your friend deleted you because she's getting married? There might have been lots of factors of why you no longer see her on your BBM you know. If you are also a true friend why not call her and ask that you can't find her on your list again, I think you are also hiding something because to think to such extreme shows how shallow minded you are. I am not disputing the fact that some ladies drop their single friends i'm just saying what you said about your friend is not right and by now if truly she exed you it might be that she heard your bitter complains from another friend and decided she doesn't want that kind of negativity. Try to talk to her and if you are a true friend build back the relationship.

Now back to the issues of Married ladies dropping their single friends, you should understand its a different ball game entirely, I have seen homes get broken simply because the lady of the house refused to do away with certain friends or with friends her husband doesn't approve. The truth is most single friends still want you to continue the way you were before marriage which is not possible reason being that you have a lot to contend with, Family, inlaws, home front, work etc! They don't understand the concept of marriage and when most are asked for advice it always come down to telling the married one to fight back, show them etc. They hardly have patience to think things through and most times are ready to put the husband down. Some single ladies are not like this, some are focused and well put together and might actually help your life. If you are that friend that was dropped after a wedding then check yourself well, it might be the way you talk or act or your character totally that made your friend drop you. They might feel you'll have negative influence on them hence the abandonment. Sometimes it's not all about husband snatching it's about goals and character. If you are the type that talks incessantly and doesn't know when to stop, you might get dumped, If you are the negative type, the club type, the no man can dominate me type, party type, lots of boyfriend type, the rude type you might get dumped by your friend. Or if you are a leech then your friend will ex you. Because most married women still have single friends so if you are dumped repeatedly by your own married friends check yourself, your lifestyle and character.

Pidggin:


"Minimize your interaction with single folks" This statement is disturbing. It doesn't matter if they are responsible or not, as long as the person is "Single" married individuals should not associate with him/her right? Don't you think this is discrimination? This is exactly what the OP's friend is doing to her. She is throwing away years of friendship because of her new status, at some point, after the excitement wears off, she will reach out to her again. The OP needs to move on from this kind of association as it is not based on sincerity or love. A single person today may be married tomorrow, a married person today may be a widow/seperated/divorced tomorrow, discriminating against someone based on marital status is quite shallow.

Thank you so much for this comment. I totally agree with you that those sort of associations lack love. So shocking.. the responses here; they just make me realise most people don't know the meaning of friendship. They just associate with people who are within 'arms reach' for convenience sake and selfish reasons nd call it friendship. The thread makes me appreciate my bestfriend more, cos it's opened my eyes to the facts that many 'friendships' are fake and are as shallow as they come.

missdebs:
what relationship has light with darkness

I take that as a joke right? Since when does being married become being in light ?

My dear, you should not lose sleep over that as she is not sure of herself and sure friends are no friends. Sure friends are nothing but hypocrites. You should stay off so that your name will called when she is found wanting.

Specialbaby:
The world is evil hence friends and foes are almost intertwined.


Due to cases of husband snatching,friends wickedness and dubious acts,i dont think a married woman would want to keep singles friends knowing fully well jealousy is the order of the day even if,then the friendship must be at arm length.



My opinion tho.hope it make sense.

your very funny. So you haven't seen married women sleeping with their so called married friends husband

Op you are not alone in this matter. I think it has to do with society, family and even d husband. The society would accuse d friend of rolling with a single girl who may eventually snatch her husband wey fit no even chop belle full . Her mother inlaw may also accuse her of rolling with irresponsible girls cus that's how they see single girls. The church during marriage class are quick to tell you to edit your friends. Now you know y. What hurts me more is as soon as trouble strikes n they need assistance they are quick to run to you. I had a friend very close to d point I was the one who single handedly cooked for engagement, ran around for her wedding etc. Soon after her wedding she cut me off. Months latter she called to say... How far? We have not been chatting a lot lately...I was like...seriously? U took off as though being married was like winning a medal. Abegi!!!! So if you value your marriage that much by I equally value my selfrespect n sanity. What is good for a married woman is also good for a single lady.

It's a question of definition. You being able to define your present reality from the past. No matter how deep a friend is with you, the moment he/she begins to make Marital preparation you just need to subconsciously create space. Things will never be the same. I have been there. I usually take the first step. Give as enough space as possible. A friend's wife got to the point of reporting her husband to me and began to wonder why her husband didn't emulate some of my good qualities. I knew somewhere that something is wrong. I gave space. You will one way or the other be linked to issues in their marriage. So take the easy way out. It's a normal thing.

The ornithological specimen of identical plumage congregates within the same proximity in short bird's of a feather flocks together.how many likes for my soyinka's english

Pidggin:


Newly wed ladies abandon their single friends because they are under the illusion that they will never need them again. It's like they feel like they have moved on to better things and a more meaningful life, but sometimes this is not the case , and they will try coming back to you later, you just make sure you move on yourself so she doesn't find you when she realises her mistake.

Best advice, it happened to me too. I had two close friends while growing, when is more more like ma sis cos we related buh wen she got married she just changed even change her line without telling me, this was a girl that I almost gave all I had, stood up for her, she practically lived with us, I just cut her off cos I don't have time for fools. After a long while she started calling me, tryna be friends again, inviting me over to her place, buh It can never happen, u can ditch our friendship for no reason n think u can rekindle it anytime u wants.
Ma oda friend, till date we still friends, waxing more strong. Am proud to have her as a friend.


Truth is our lives ain't tied together, buh I always give ma best, so anytime a friend tends to walk away, me I just disappear, nobody can say am faulty.

u wan snatch there partner? end time people

You need to get the message. You see her as your friend, but you definition might be faulty. She may see you as a colleague at work or school. Your expectations of your friendship does not match hers. Besides, she might have been warned against friends if she would keep her destiny.

What makes you her friend? What can you sacrifice for the friendship? To what extent can you go for her.

@OP same sex ,opposite sex it's same thing.Human beings are emotional and sometimes blur the red-line of platonic and intimacy.This holds true for all permutations of friendships between singles and married.

Before you start seeing your friend's hubby/wify as your rightful missing rib due to excessive friendship and are prepared to damn all the odds n be with them.

My ex was one of my best friends,I knew we could never have a successful platonic friendship so after her wedding (which I didn't obviously attend) we had to endorse the divide to avoid avoidable temptations.So it's nothing personal a times.

yomi007k:


my love.


i been hustling

hustle is good#that the spirit.

It's annoying but this topic has two sides
1. A good friend snatched d friend's husband. 5days to their wedding here in PHC, as am typing this message she's leaving with the man and a sister got married and brought the younger sister to leave with her. Right now the younger sister is 4months pregnant for the sister's husband with out the knowledge of the elder siste. The young one packed her things and left the house to another apartment the man arranged for her.
2. I use to feel the same way about my friend until I got married, over 70% of men don't like their wives associating with singles reason best known to them. Family chores, work and business is not left out but for me, through the help of social media, I keep in touch via whatsapp, bbm, facebk and calls as well cos. U don't know what tomorow will look like

maryhaam:
hustle is good#that the spirit.

U don miss ur boy baa?

Pidggin:


"Minimize your interaction with single folks" This statement is disturbing. It doesn't matter if they are responsible or not, as long as the person is "Single" married individuals should not associate with him/her right? Don't you think this is discrimination? This is exactly what the OP's friend is doing to her. She is throwing away years of friendship because of her new status, at some point, after the excitement wears off, she will reach out to her again. The OP needs to move on from this kind of association as it is not based on sincerity or love. A single person today may be married tomorrow, a married person today may be a widow/seperated/divorced tomorrow, discriminating against someone based on marital status is quite shallow.

Don't mind all these girls that feels like life it's all about marriage.
Ma own friend n sis, during her prep for marriage, all of her friends were complaining about her change in attitude, I just kept covering for her telling em it was marriage stress, till after her wedding she come do me ma own.
She collected something from me and I needed to return it, called all her line it wasn't connecting, so I went to her parents house to collect her number, cos I don't know her husband's house (they changed house) and the mum told me that "now that V is married, they don't like giving out her number to people" this was a girl that practically lived with us, her husband never knew we weren't siblings till almost there wedding period. I was stunned, it was the elder brother that came out, ignored the mum n gave me d number and after I called her to return the stuffs I deleted her number n cut her off.

Any no one should say maybe her friends were bad, cos it's a big lie,she had the nicest friends n non was promiscuous she felt on top of the world, the was why she did it (her husband is damn rich). When she started reaching out again it was late, cos there's no way we can ever be friends again, not that kinda friend.

The truth is dat dey re nt ur real frnds right from d beginning it was u dat did not noticed it. Marriage is nt suppose to separate u from ur single friends cos when u re single na dem u dey see, and always do tins togeda .

asatemple:
It's annoying but this topic has two sides
1. A good friend snatched d friend's husband. 5days to their wedding here in PHC, as am typing this message she's leaving with the man and a sister got married and brought the younger sister to leave with her. Right now the younger sister is 4months pregnant for the sister's husband with out the knowledge of the elder siste. The young one packed her things and left the house to another apartment the man arranged for her.
2. I use to feel the same way about my friend until I got married, over 70% of men don't like their wives associating with singles reason best known to them. Family chores, work and business is not left out but for me, through the help of social media, I keep in touch via whatsapp, bbm, facebk and calls as well cos. U don't know what tomorow will look like

I get your point, the bottom line is u still kept in touch.
Buh some don't, will eve ignore their friends on social networks.

Chommieblaq:

I get your point, the bottom line is u still kept in touch.
Buh some don't, will eve ignore their friends on social networks.

that one is rubbish, are they with the key of marriage? What goes around will always come around

tayo60:
My married friends also did the same to me.

Really? I do hear about this stuff, but it has never happened to me. That is total bullshi.t!
I understand priorities will change, some may not slide away intentionally. Some will have varied reasons for doing that.
Except you noticed the person is jealous or potential husband snatcher, it's not good to cut off because your friend is not yet married..
My married friends disturbed me more for friendship while single, and they still seek my friendship more while married. I even feel I cut off from them sef. They do more of the let's chat, let's hang out stuff.
It will so pain me if I come near experiencing such. I will delete such person, before she deletes me.

yomi007k:


U don miss ur boy baa?

abi now

maryhaam:
abi now

eee yaa

Boy missed u too

birds of a feather flock together

This line of thought of cutting all ties with single friends upon marriage is quite allien to me. Close friends of mine who got married still come around and hangout with the boys, esspeciallly as a man you have to keep in touch because you never can tell where the next buisness contact could come from.

I don't even have friends, how did you guys do it?
Always with my phone/PC