Ladies and gentleman I am at my wits' end and need some help. My hubby of 8 years, who used to be a lovely, generous man, has turned around to become someone I cannot recognize. I myself am not from Nigeria. I have started to wonder if maybe others may have a better sense of what is happening here - that maybe there are some cultural issues that I am missing.

To the meat of the story - my hubby and I have been living quite peacefully with no major problem with our two children. 2015 I started to notice that my hubby seemed concerned if I chat with any brother at church, even briefly. Because of my profession, some people at church will accost me after service to ask 1 or 2 questions and I will often give advice but of course there is nothing bad or immoral being discussed. My hubby has always been aware this happens, and had not problem but recently started being annoyed if the person asking a question is a brother. I tried to discuss with him but also reduced my habit to keep the peace.

Okay, I thought maybe that is all but then things started to get worse - my hubby started to ask me what did I tell this person or that person about him. And I said ah of course I cannot discuss you with this person, if you are mentioned it's just them asking how you are doing and asking to send their regards to you. He started claiming I am discussing him with people and that I am letting people know his business. I try to ask him to clarify what exactly I have said, and to who, and to tell me where he is getting this information but he does not answer. I just say eh sorry but really I don't know what he is talking about.

Things now have gotten seriously out of hand. He is claiming that he has it on good authority that I have conspired with some evil people that are targeting him and I am doing things on purpose to agitate him. I have tried everything I can try to explain to him that this is not true, and that I don't even know how one conspires with evil people. He says someone confirmed his suspicions and told him that I made a deal with the evil people that I will help them to make his life miserable, and in return I will get custody of the children. I have not idea who the person that told him that is and I have not idea where that theory is coming from because God knows my heart, I have never had any evil intent toward my hubby.

His behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and he wakes me up at all times of the night asking me to tell him about the conspiracy that is going on concerning him. When I say I don't know he get agitated and tells me I am such a liar. He claims the children are also being used against him to mock him (our oldest is 6). He says other people outside also mock him. There is no peace in my house, every day is a new story. I cannot have a simple conversation without being accused of mocking him or trying to manipulate him so I can laugh with the evil people. I have informed his family back home and they simply say we should pray for our marriage. I suggested to him that maybe we should try to speak to psychologist and he said a prophet already told him that the evil people and I intend to lie about him and say he is crazy.

Please can someone shed some light on this for me? It is sad and heartbreaking for me to even type this but the truth is that if I cannot understand what is going on soon and see a light at the end of the tunnel I will have to turn my back on my marriage. Please if anyone knows anything that can help me understand him and help him let me know. Thank you for reading this far.

Take him not to a psychologist but to a psychiatrist. He's suffering from paranoia. If he refuses to accept help, dump his arrogant sorry asssss

I am not sure I understand your Naira part, but from my understanding of your op, I think your husband has trust issues, he is also insecure.
Perhaps he has been visiting some wrong places where they have been telling him things about you and this could be as a result of him suspecting you of discussing him with your church member.
I think you two should have a talk, husband and wife talk. Then,i don't know your profession or what you discuss with your church members, but why not try and invite him or tell him to stay with you when you are discussing with one these 'brothers' if he won't mind just to clear things up.
And lastly, like his family said, please pray for your home, don't mind anyone that tell you otherwise!
All the best!

If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. So says d Bible. If anything you're doing is upsetting to ur hubby especially as it regards ur interaction with men, pls reduce it. That's all

@ Op, your husband has been told something about and that is why he is acting that way. I do Pastoral and prophecy too but I don't just go breaking people homes, unfortunately there are too many fake pastors these days. From your post, you seem to be a church/spiritual person, you have to handle it from that angle and you must put that mind of turning back on your marriage. You have to fight for what belongs to youm

Naira or nig?
I see no reason why u can't discuss anything with ur husby.
Even counsellors wey dey keep shut about things discuss it with their husby.
You are making him feel insecure.
You can even get advice from him concerning all this stuff you deals with in church

Where is naira?

mavany:
I think she meant, Nairalander.

Nigerian false prophets have struck again!

Thank you, I have just changed it to Nigeria to make it easier - I misunderstood how to use the term.

I am really very respectful toward him, and do not do things to aggravate him on purpose but now anything I say he takes it the wrong way. It is difficult to have a simple discussion.

tortmistress:
Ladies and gentleman I am at my wits' end and need some help. My hubby of 8 years, who used to be a lovely, generous man, has turned around to become someone I cannot recognize. I myself am not from Nigeria. I have started to wonder if maybe others may have a better sense of what is happening here - that maybe there are some cultural issues that I am missing.

To the meat of the story - my hubby and I have been living quite peacefully with no major problem with our two children. 2015 I started to notice that my hubby seemed concerned if I chat with any brother at church, even briefly. Because of my profession, some people at church will accost me after service to ask 1 or 2 questions and I will often give advice but of course there is nothing bad or immoral being discussed. My hubby has always been aware this happens, and had not problem but recently started being annoyed if the person asking a question is a brother. I tried to discuss with him but also reduced my habit to keep the peace.

Okay, I thought maybe that is all but then things started to get worse - my hubby started to ask me what did I tell this person or that person about him. And I said ah of course I cannot discuss you with this person, if you are mentioned it's just them asking how you are doing and asking to send their regards to you. He started claiming I am discussing him with people and that I am letting people know his business. I try to ask him to clarify what exactly I have said, and to who, and to tell me where he is getting this information but he does not answer. I just say eh sorry but really I don't know what he is talking about.

Things now have gotten seriously out of hand. He is claiming that he has it on good authority that I have conspired with some evil people that are targeting him and I am doing things on purpose to agitate him. I have tried everything I can try to explain to him that this is not true, and that I don't even know how one conspires with evil people. He says someone confirmed his suspicions and told him that I made a deal with the evil people that I will help them to make his life miserable, and in return I will get custody of the children. I have not idea who the person that told him that is and I have not idea where that theory is coming from because God knows my heart, I have never had any evil intent toward my hubby.

His behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and he wakes me up at all times of the night asking me to tell him about the conspiracy that is going on concerning him. When I say I don't know he get agitated and tells me I am such a liar. He claims the children are also being used against him to mock him (our oldest is 6). He says other people outside also mock him. There is no peace in my house, every day is a new story. I cannot have a simple conversation without being accused of mocking him or trying to manipulate him so I can laugh with the evil people. I have informed his family back home and they simply say we should pray for our marriage. I suggested to him that maybe we should try to speak to psychologist and he said a prophet already told him that the evil people and I intend to lie about him and say he is crazy.

Please can someone shed some light on this for me? It is sad and heartbreaking for me to even type this but the truth is that if I cannot understand what is going on soon and see a light at the end of the tunnel I will have to turn my back on my marriage. Please if anyone knows anything that can help me understand him and help him let me know. Thank you for reading this far.

mistake

I guess he didn't get the revelation by asking God if what the prophet said is true

HateU2:
Naira or nig?
I see no reason why u can't discuss anything with ur husby.
Even counsellors wey dey keep shut about things discuss it with their husby.
You are making him feel insecure.
You can even get advice from him concerning all this stuff you deals with in church

what ever is said in counseling unit stays in counseling unit

tortmistress:
I am really very respectful toward him, and do not do things to aggravate him on purpose but now anything I say he takes it the wrong way. It is difficult to have a simple discussion.

He is your husband, you should know when he will be stable for a simple discussion. Know his mood. Then commit him to your creator.

lilmax:
what ever is said in counseling unit stays in counseling unit

That's what is causing problem in this marriage.
Discussing what you encounter everyday with your spouse does not mean you are letting out secrets.
Try to read 'Taiwo Iredele's' books.
I'm not married but believe when I say I'm equipped with knowledge of marriage.

tortmistress:
I am really very respectful toward him, and do not do things to aggravate him on purpose but now anything I say he takes it the wrong way. It is difficult to have a simple discussion.

Take it easy with him first, your husband is acting under influence, he has been told something like you conniving with people to tarnish him. There may some secrets he told you and at this point he is feeling unsafe. Now my advice is first for you to relax your discussion or whatever it is handle in church for now, you need to settle your home first. He needs every assurances now in deeds not just talking so as to put whatever prophecy he has been told to nought.

lofty900:
Take him not to a psychologist but to a psychiatrist. He's suffering from paranoia. If he refuses to accept help, dump his arrogant sorry asssss

Na so dem dey dump "dump his arrogant sorry asssss"


Have u ever been married?

HateU2:
That's what is causing problem in this marriage.
Discussing what you encounter everyday with your spouse does not mean you are letting out secrets.
Try to read 'Taiwo Iredele's' books.
I'm not married but believe when I say I'm equipped with knowledge of marriage.

I will like to read that Taiwo iredele's book. Communication in marriage is very important. I do counseling for married people and single and I try to carry my wife along.

bronzegoddess:

Na so dem dey dump "dump his arrogant sorry asssss"


Have u ever been married?

I said if he refuses help. He obviously has a problem but pride has made him blind to the fact. So the solution is to dump him unless you want the innocent woman to suffer

bjcole:


I will like to read that Taiwo iredele's book. Communication in marriage is very important. I do counseling for married people and single and I try to carry my wife along.

That is it. You carry your wife along and with that she does not feel insecured. You can get her books in the bookshop. She's a good writer and her area is just relationships and marriage.

Watch how men will support husband and blame op.
My sister he has started visiting fake prophets or juju priests who are feeding him shitty stories to squeeze out offerings and seed for the gods.
OR

He has friends who do not want his home tovbe happy and he is allowing their negative talk influence his home. He has someone that doesnt like you.




You cannot help him per se. Just call his attention to the wahala those amebos are causing you.



OR


He has married a Nigerian wife and wants to dump you.
Do you live in Nigeria with him?

lofty900:
I said if he refuses help. He obviously has a problem but pride has made him blind to the fact. So the solution is to dump him unless you want the innocent woman to suffer

Smh, dump a man who needs help. If she dumps him, who will now help him. Imagine ur wife dumping u when u need help the most. If people dump their spouses cos there's a problem, I wonder how many couples wld still be married.
If he refuses help, obviously its becos he's got a problem.

Schizophrenia !

Get him help quick

Ma... Two angles to this issue.1,he is feeling insecure with you or suspecting that you mean evil towards him.. Meaning lack of trust.all u have to do is convincing him again and again that ure on his side till he fully believes.. If he his not comfortable that ure talking with brothers after service.since we can't pursue the innocent brothers from coming find a way of guming urself to him after service so if any brother comes to ask anything he will be dere too. To hear the conversation.. It will help him to an extent.. At home be very transperant to him... Cook special dishes for him.. Show him enough signs u don't mean evil n hopefully he will get it.... 2.u had better start serious prayers cos that man is under bewitchment.. Spiritual things. Draw close to Jesus... I know many homes that broke n the men started exactly this way.. Started suspecting their wife after they have been given wrong info's... White woman u had better pray...

tortmistress:
I am really very respectful toward him, and do not do things to aggravate him on purpose but now anything I say he takes it the wrong way. It is difficult to have a simple discussion.

Your husband is just trying to blame you unnecessarily for his troubles. .. I think he may have other motives because people start finding faults here and there so as to have excuses for their misdeeds...

If all you typed is true, I will say you be very watchful cos he maybe upto something!

I don't believe any prophet told him $hit but even if a prophet did, ur husband believed that because he already conceived that in his mind... who believes what any prophet says if you already didn't have that in mind? The thought of even going to the prophet shows something must have gone wrong prior to the visit. ..

Sit down and talk with him and get what's in his mind... Some men hardly talk about their challanges, they bottle up a lot.... he maybe having some financial crisis or something; then heaping the blame/anger on you! You both should make amends where necessary. ..

Don't exclude prayers too!

I am not a fan of prophets, 90% of them are charlatans who know how to read people and then give a "prophecy" based on that. I have had experience with it.

OP, since you both attend church, take him to your pastor and his wife. Let him explain the prophecy that was told to him to them and let the situation be thrashed out. Everyone should speak their minds. And he refuses, and keeps acting bizarre, tell him that he is being manipulated by someone very clever who wants to benefit from him being out of his stable environment (that's how most "prophets" work, destabilize you and bring you closer to them then start siphoning your money and talents into enriching themselves). And if he does anything, absolutely anything to jeopardize your health or that of your children, LEAVE.

He said you're using his 6 year old to mock him and that his prophet told him that everyone would question his sanity, my dear, he's being manipulated cleanly and brainwashed by a duplicitous animal masquerading as a "prophet".

PresVA:
Your husband is just trying to blame you unnecessarily for his troubles. .. I think he may have other motives because people start finding faults here and there so as to have excuses for their misdeeds...

If all you typed is true, I will say you be very watchful cos he maybe upto something!

Or is he having some financial crisis or something?

What is your advice youngie? give an advice that you can gi

Dear Op,

Your hubby probably has some personal issues before. But it has been aggravated by a man who called himself a prophet which is not good for your marriage.

Am sorry, you prayerfully need to approach these even as you use wisdom and understanding to manage the situation physically.

God be with you and take care of your home...

N.B

Any prophecy you hear that does not bring peace and comfort to you.. Abeg discard am sharp sharp.

tortmistress:
Ladies and gentleman I am at my wits' end and need some help. My hubby of 8 years, who used to be a lovely, generous man, has turned around to become someone I cannot recognize. I myself am not from Nigeria. I have started to wonder if maybe others may have a better sense of what is happening here - that maybe there are some cultural issues that I am missing.

To the meat of the story - my hubby and I have been living quite peacefully with no major problem with our two children. 2015 I started to notice that my hubby seemed concerned if I chat with any brother at church, even briefly. Because of my profession, some people at church will accost me after service to ask 1 or 2 questions and I will often give advice but of course there is nothing bad or immoral being discussed. My hubby has always been aware this happens, and had not problem but recently started being annoyed if the person asking a question is a brother. I tried to discuss with him but also reduced my habit to keep the peace.

Okay, I thought maybe that is all but then things started to get worse - my hubby started to ask me what did I tell this person or that person about him. And I said ah of course I cannot discuss you with this person, if you are mentioned it's just them asking how you are doing and asking to send their regards to you. He started claiming I am discussing him with people and that I am letting people know his business. I try to ask him to clarify what exactly I have said, and to who, and to tell me where he is getting this information but he does not answer. I just say eh sorry but really I don't know what he is talking about.

Things now have gotten seriously out of hand. He is claiming that he has it on good authority that I have conspired with some evil people that are targeting him and I am doing things on purpose to agitate him. I have tried everything I can try to explain to him that this is not true, and that I don't even know how one conspires with evil people. He says someone confirmed his suspicions and told him that I made a deal with the evil people that I will help them to make his life miserable, and in return I will get custody of the children. I have not idea who the person that told him that is and I have not idea where that theory is coming from because God knows my heart, I have never had any evil intent toward my hubby.

His behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and he wakes me up at all times of the night asking me to tell him about the conspiracy that is going on concerning him. When I say I don't know he get agitated and tells me I am such a liar. He claims the children are also being used against him to mock him (our oldest is 6). He says other people outside also mock him. There is no peace in my house, every day is a new story. I cannot have a simple conversation without being accused of mocking him or trying to manipulate him so I can laugh with the evil people. I have informed his family back home and they simply say we should pray for our marriage. I suggested to him that maybe we should try to speak to psychologist and he said a prophet already told him that the evil people and I intend to lie about him and say he is crazy.

Please can someone shed some light on this for me? It is sad and heartbreaking for me to even type this but the truth is that if I cannot understand what is going on soon and see a light at the end of the tunnel I will have to turn my back on my marriage. Please if anyone knows anything that can help me understand him and help him let me know. Thank you for reading this far.

This is an onset of a psychiatric/ psychological disorder. He needs help, if you are in a developed country push him to seek assistance. Don't argue with him, show him love and hold him by the arms in a cross link when outdoor together. If not serious, it might be a sign of insecurity. How is his finance and job?

delishpot:
Watch how men will support husband and blame op.
My sister he has started visiting fake prophets or juju priests who are feeding him shitty stories to squeeze out offerings and seed for the gods.
OR

He has friends who do not want his home tovbe happy and he is allowing their negative talk influence his home. He has someone that doesnt like you.




You cannot help him per se. Just call his attention to the wahala those amebos are causing you.



OR


He has married a Nigerian wife and wants to dump you.
Do you live in Nigeria with him?

dear delishpot, how many av u counted now dat av support d man Stop the hating, u will still get married to one. What is wrong/right will always be wrong/right

Haywhymido:
dear delishpot, how many av u counted now dat av support d man Stop the hating, u will still get married to one. What is wrong/right will always be wrong/right

abi o.nairaland will just kill some people.