Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by crackhaus: 2:53pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Haywhymido: dear delishpot, how many av u counted now dat av support d man Stop the hating, u will still get married to one. What is wrong/right will always be wrong/right oloyede252: abi o.nairaland will just kill some people. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by lilmax(m): 3:07pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Haywhymido: dear delishpot, how many av u counted now dat av support d man Stop the hating, u will still get married to one. What is wrong/right will always be wrong/right leave that one always crying for no reason 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Nobody: 3:31pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Your husband seems to be developing schizophrenia. One of its symptoms is paranoia. I don't want to scare you as I am not sure because I am not an expert but if I am right, you and your kids are in danger. He needs a psychiatrist as soon as possible. 5 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by byvan03: 3:36pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Don't ever sleep with your eyes closed before he wakes one night with his voices telling him to kill all supposed conspirators. 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Nobody: 3:39pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
byvan03: Don't ever sleep with your eyes closed before he wakes one night with his voices telling him to kill all supposed conspirators. I was thinking the same. It is scary, really. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by byvan03: 3:55pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Mindfulness:
I was thinking the same. It is scary, really. It's a dire situation, watched a program on DisD, the man exhibited these symptoms before he murdered his entire family, kids included. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Joy1706(f): 4:05pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
HateU2: That's what is causing problem in this marriage. Discussing what you encounter everyday with your spouse does not mean you are letting out secrets. Try to read 'Taiwo Iredele's' books. I'm not married but believe when I say I'm equipped with knowledge of marriage. My dear she has a professional duty not to discuss her clients with anybody including her husband. What's so hard to understand? 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Nobody: 5:13pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
byvan03:
It's a dire situation, watched a program on DisD, the man exhibited these symptoms before he murdered his entire family, kids included. I heard of such cases too. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Miami11: 5:21pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
Maybe he is tired of the marriage and seeking a way out by building conspiracies( to marry a Nigerian Just be on the look out, men are funny when they want to barge out 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by michaelwilli(m): 5:45pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
tortmistress: Ladies and gentleman I am at my wits' end and need some help. My hubby of 8 years, who used to be a lovely, generous man, has turned around to become someone I cannot recognize. I myself am not from Nigeria. I have started to wonder if maybe others may have a better sense of what is happening here - that maybe there are some cultural issues that I am missing.
To the meat of the story - my hubby and I have been living quite peacefully with no major problem with our two children. 2015 I started to notice that my hubby seemed concerned if I chat with any brother at church, even briefly. Because of my profession, some people at church will accost me after service to ask 1 or 2 questions and I will often give advice but of course there is nothing bad or immoral being discussed. My hubby has always been aware this happens, and had not problem but recently started being annoyed if the person asking a question is a brother. I tried to discuss with him but also reduced my habit to keep the peace.
Okay, I thought maybe that is all but then things started to get worse - my hubby started to ask me what did I tell this person or that person about him. And I said ah of course I cannot discuss you with this person, if you are mentioned it's just them asking how you are doing and asking to send their regards to you. He started claiming I am discussing him with people and that I am letting people know his business. I try to ask him to clarify what exactly I have said, and to who, and to tell me where he is getting this information but he does not answer. I just say eh sorry but really I don't know what he is talking about.
Things now have gotten seriously out of hand. He is claiming that he has it on good authority that I have conspired with some evil people that are targeting him and I am doing things on purpose to agitate him. I have tried everything I can try to explain to him that this is not true, and that I don't even know how one conspires with evil people. He says someone confirmed his suspicions and told him that I made a deal with the evil people that I will help them to make his life miserable, and in return I will get custody of the children. I have not idea who the person that told him that is and I have not idea where that theory is coming from because God knows my heart, I have never had any evil intent toward my hubby.
His behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and he wakes me up at all times of the night asking me to tell him about the conspiracy that is going on concerning him. When I say I don't know he get agitated and tells me I am such a liar. He claims the children are also being used against him to mock him (our oldest is 6). He says other people outside also mock him. There is no peace in my house, every day is a new story. I cannot have a simple conversation without being accused of mocking him or trying to manipulate him so I can laugh with the evil people. I have informed his family back home and they simply say we should pray for our marriage. I suggested to him that maybe we should try to speak to psychologist and he said a prophet already told him that the evil people and I intend to lie about him and say he is crazy.
Please can someone shed some light on this for me? It is sad and heartbreaking for me to even type this but the truth is that if I cannot understand what is going on soon and see a light at the end of the tunnel I will have to turn my back on my marriage. Please if anyone knows anything that can help me understand him and help him let me know. Thank you for reading this far. He's not angry at all, neither does he think you are cheating. Just don't reply him, he'll com to his senses. Someone has probably told him to change his behavior thinking that you will end up cheating on him. No just mind d man abeg. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Nobody: 10:02pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
lofty900: I said if he refuses help. He obviously has a problem but pride has made him blind to the fact. So the solution is to dump him unless you want the innocent woman to suffer Home breaker. Who told you that the man is a proid person. I figure you do not know what marriage is all about. Dump, dump , dump. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by freshvine(f): 11:51pm On Jan 08, 2016 |
HateU2: That's what is causing problem in this marriage. Discussing what you encounter everyday with your spouse does not mean you are letting out secrets. Try to read 'Taiwo Iredele's' books. I'm not married but believe when I say I'm equipped with knowledge of marriage. You're 99.1% correct. She should discuss with hubby her daily challenges, interesting part of whatever business she does with church brothers. After a while the husband will become disinterested when his suspicion has been dispelled. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 12:57am On Jan 09, 2016 |
tortmistress: Ladies and gentleman I am at my wits' end and need some help. My hubby of 8 years, who used to be a lovely, generous man, has turned around to become someone I cannot recognize. I myself am not from Nigeria. I have started to wonder if maybe others may have a better sense of what is happening here - that maybe there are some cultural issues that I am missing.
To the meat of the story - my hubby and I have been living quite peacefully with no major problem with our two children. 2015 I started to notice that my hubby seemed concerned if I chat with any brother at church, even briefly. Because of my profession, some people at church will accost me after service to ask 1 or 2 questions and I will often give advice but of course there is nothing bad or immoral being discussed. My hubby has always been aware this happens, and had not problem but recently started being annoyed if the person asking a question is a brother. I tried to discuss with him but also reduced my habit to keep the peace.
Okay, I thought maybe that is all but then things started to get worse - my hubby started to ask me what did I tell this person or that person about him. And I said ah of course I cannot discuss you with this person, if you are mentioned it's just them asking how you are doing and asking to send their regards to you. He started claiming I am discussing him with people and that I am letting people know his business. I try to ask him to clarify what exactly I have said, and to who, and to tell me where he is getting this information but he does not answer. I just say eh sorry but really I don't know what he is talking about.
Things now have gotten seriously out of hand. He is claiming that he has it on good authority that I have conspired with some evil people that are targeting him and I am doing things on purpose to agitate him. I have tried everything I can try to explain to him that this is not true, and that I don't even know how one conspires with evil people. He says someone confirmed his suspicions and told him that I made a deal with the evil people that I will help them to make his life miserable, and in return I will get custody of the children. I have not idea who the person that told him that is and I have not idea where that theory is coming from because God knows my heart, I have never had any evil intent toward my hubby.
His behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and he wakes me up at all times of the night asking me to tell him about the conspiracy that is going on concerning him. When I say I don't know he get agitated and tells me I am such a liar. He claims the children are also being used against him to mock him (our oldest is 6). He says other people outside also mock him. There is no peace in my house, every day is a new story. I cannot have a simple conversation without being accused of mocking him or trying to manipulate him so I can laugh with the evil people. I have informed his family back home and they simply say we should pray for our marriage. I suggested to him that maybe we should try to speak to psychologist and he said a prophet already told him that the evil people and I intend to lie about him and say he is crazy.
Please can someone shed some light on this for me? It is sad and heartbreaking for me to even type this but the truth is that if I cannot understand what is going on soon and see a light at the end of the tunnel I will have to turn my back on my marriage. Please if anyone knows anything that can help me understand him and help him let me know. Thank you for reading this far. He is mentally sick and you know it, he is paranoid, you better use your God given sense and get your kids and yourself out of that house before its to late. I have someone who is mentally sick who is close to me and its no joke. Move out and get him psychiatric help, the only alternative to what is causing his behaviour is drugs. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 1:16am On Jan 09, 2016 |
tortmistress: I am really very respectful toward him, and do not do things to aggravate him on purpose but now anything I say he takes it the wrong way. It is difficult to have a simple discussion. Op, please do not listen to most of these posters on here they will blame everything on you and tell you to pray and do nothing, I'm sorry but you didn't choose a very good place to come for advice. I have given you my two cents on a prior post. Whatever you do, DON'T blame yourself and for the sake of your children, yourself and your husband get that man some mental help NOW. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 1:25am On Jan 09, 2016 |
lofty900: Take him not to a psychologist but to a psychiatrist. He's suffering from paranoia. If he refuses to accept help, dump his arrogant sorry asssss Op listen to this one, this is the real deal. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 1:28am On Jan 09, 2016 |
bjcole:
Take it easy with him first, your husband is acting under influence, he has been told something like you conniving with people to tarnish him. There may some secrets he told you and at this point he is feeling unsafe. Now my advice is first for you to relax your discussion or whatever it is handle in church for now, you need to settle your home first. He needs every assurances now in deeds not just talking so as to put whatever prophecy he has been told to nought. See op, they will blame you. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 1:31am On Jan 09, 2016 |
Mintayo:
He is your husband, you should know when he will be stable for a simple discussion. Know his mood. Then commit him to your creator.
If you read her post entirely you should understand that her husband has an UNSTABLE MIND. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 1:39am On Jan 09, 2016 |
Ybaby: Schizophrenia !
Get him help quick Thank you thank you thank you. Paranoid Schizophrenia to be exact. Op pay attention because this one nailed it, my love one suffurs from the same sickness and behavior as your husband, no matter how much you love your husband you can't do it alone, he needs medical help. He's hearing voices and that's who's telling him all these things. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 2:11am On Jan 09, 2016 |
byvan03: Don't ever sleep with your eyes closed before he wakes one night with his voices telling him to kill all supposed conspirators. 100% on point. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 2:15am On Jan 09, 2016 |
jusRadical:
Home breaker. Who told you that the man is a proid person.
I figure you do not know what marriage is all about. Dump, dump , dump. If he doesn't get help, she had better get those kids and herself the hell out of there. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Nobody: 3:05am On Jan 09, 2016 |
He needs Psychiatric help. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by Mintayo(m): 7:21am On Jan 09, 2016 |
khiaa:
If you read her post entirely you should understand that her husband has an UNSTABLE MIND. Yes he is unstable. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by bjcole(m): 7:21am On Jan 09, 2016 |
khiaa:
If he doesn't get help, she had better get those kids and herself the hell out of there. Madam, cutting the head is not solution to the headache. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by pickabeau1: 7:59am On Jan 09, 2016 |
another religion bashing thread Op -have u been sincere to your husband -Has anyone of your friends or.family chucked out their hubby on 'flimsy' divorces to live fat on settlement - the issue here is trust |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by MurderX: 9:09am On Jan 09, 2016 |
OP, to be frank, I dont trust you. I suspect your husband knows what he is saying. Please leave him alone if you are tired of the marriage. |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by freshvine(f): 9:38am On Jan 09, 2016 |
khiaa:
He is mentally sick and you know it, he is paranoid, you better use your God given sense and get your kids and yourself out of that house before its to late. I have someone who is mentally sick who is close to me and its no joke. Move out and get him psychiatric help, the only alternative to what is causing his behaviour is drugs. O |
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Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 11:57pm On Jan 09, 2016 |
bjcole:
Madam, cutting the head is not solution to the headache.
Is killing his wife and kids a better solution to you? It is better that she get her kids and herself to safety and help him from a distance. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 12:04am On Jan 10, 2016 |
MurderX: OP, to be frank, I dont trust you. I suspect your husband knows what he is saying. Please leave him alone if you are tired of the marriage. See op, as a woman you will always be the blame for your husband/man's bad behavior on this site, some people are very repressive 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by khiaa(f): 12:12am On Jan 10, 2016 |
pickabeau1: another religion bashing thread
Op
-have u been sincere to your husband -Has anyone of your friends or.family chucked out their hubby on 'flimsy' divorces to live fat on settlement - the issue here is trust
The issue here is mental illness. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by pickabeau1: 7:23am On Jan 10, 2016 |
khiaa:
The issue here is mental illness. Based on a few one sided words ? Dr khiaa 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Me Understand My Nigerian Hubby by ifyalways(f): 9:19am On Jan 10, 2016 |
If my husband wake up one day and suddenly starts suspecting me, my first step is to suspect him right back!!! Madam, what does your husband do? Why has he suddenly become paranoid? Is he contemplating doing a shady deal ? Don't ask or Confront him yet but put your nose down and sniff. I don't subscribe to informing third parties when no violence is involved so initiate a talk. Seat down with your man and talk. No shouting , allow him voice out all his fears then address it as adults. Compromise if necessary , that's what marriage is all about. You won't be a fool or weakling for doing so, you simply are the bigger person plus he'll owe you one. If however there's no headway after the talk, thrn it's time to call in a third party. All the best. |