OP u are a bastard if u no tell your brother the truth if to say na me I for tell am since don't mind all this people go ahead and tell him they must pay for their deeds

let ur bro know d truth.........dat is d least u owe him.
nt telling him is even a greater betrayal.

OP forgive and move on before hatred kills you. Even your parents who suffered most have forgiven and you're carrying everything on your head. Guy move on jor, before hatred kills you.

Well, it seems like you're being petty and you're not a man!


I have no problem with you telling your bro, as that's actually the right thing to do. But what's your motive of doing so?

Is it to seek revenge?

The Dad offended you and not the daughter. You can't ruin your brother's relationship because of your inability to forgive even after your parents have forgiven him and forgotten.



I think a family meeting should be conducted. The Bride, his father, your bro, your parents (and if possible, you shouldn't be there except you can control your anger).

The man should be made to apologise and that's all.


The daughter is not at fault.



What of if the man is acting on a higher command?
Or he actually badly needs to sell the house to settle some stuffs.
Why don't you give him a chance to sort things and then he apologise.



You go sabi keep beef o.
It will rotten at a point tho, causing the 'keeper' bad things

yinkus4u2c:
Follow your heart hun

Off Topic:Your profile pic is gorgeous

Brother you need to forgive and forget.Remember the said lady has nothing to do with all that happened. Please let love rain.

All the best

therapistmrs. .com

scatter the marriage jo....
u spirit of destruction living in d OP

Hhahhh,when you see majority of nairalnders advising you to do a thing,it means you are about to do the wrong thing

SSpeter:
The thing is my dad had told my sisters a diluted summary of the whole event. He told them subtly that it was a court case one person must win. That I am only being over-reactive. And ladies go always believe hook line & sinker.....So the family meeting may not be a good idea cos sisters already thinks it's just a court case we lost

Guy let me tell you. If you keep this from your brother and he later finds out after wedding, he might blame you and never forgive you.

It is better you tell him. If he chose to continue with the wedding, then allow him. But you can refuse to be his best man.

EVILFOREST:

May GOD bless u.
U just said my mind.
It's better u open the pandoras box.
A broken Relationship is always better than a Broken marriage.

What's the essence of asking about FAMILY HISTORY, when some people here see it as being Useless...?
I encourage such people to Marry the Daughter of a Harlot.
I can compromise when it comes to anything but not MARRIAGE and where I visit to worship GOD.

One of the issue here is dat humans do pretend alot wen dey need something, d girl might know who dey r but she might be pretending all in the name of marriage, den after marriage she will bring out her real attitude just like her dad

Nd such father in laws r very greedy nd wicked, he might not accept d marriage proposal due to wat happened in the past, or he might accept it due to his selfish and greedy attitude, especially if d guy is well OK, he will use it as a means to reap or extort money from d guy

Only God knows how much he will demand for bride price

Bro! i know how you feel but i think you should tell ur brother the truth cos if u don't. u will be a wicked younger bro. After telling him the truth allow him make his decision if he decides to go ahead support him even if u don't want to be his best man.

For your parents, it's wrong to hide something this huge from a guy trying to make a long life commitment. He should be told no matter what.

Finally, this wedding may unite the two families but not without restitution from ur inlaws family.

bottom line put ur egbon on the know....no hiding things !

SSpeter:
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

Just drop this bitterness so that you can make HEAVEN.

lofty900:
we dey him back ooooo.

So u people have allowed his village people to use u as a weapons of destructions abi? Daris God oo

I think your brother has a right to know but then your father has begged you not to tell him anything.

You have your options. If you do not tell him, you have to protect your brother (the offspring of a devil may turn out to be a devil too), don't forget to apply sense. If you tell him but he decides to continue with the marriage, you have to respect his decision, be his best man and apply diplomacy when you deal with the wife. She is going to have your brother's kids one day. They will be your blood too. You can't disassociate yourself from them nor can you do that with your own kids.

And please do not become paranoid and become lucifer-in-law. If you do, you will causing her and YOUR BROTHER heartache not just the wife.


SSpeter

Since ur parents has forgiven them and move on,so i imploy u to also do,don"t derail his marriage,and don"t visit the sin of the father on the daughter,better allow the will of God to take place,her father will surely be the most unhappy father in law if the marriage is protracted all the days of his life.

SSpeter:
I am can never be God. I don't want any of those memories......My brother should know the truth. He deserves the truth!.....i can't be part of a family with a man that nearly ruined my family

Selfish schmuck. Are you the one getting married to the girl? Is the girl her father?

Abeg carry your bitterness alone and stop trying to ruin the lives of others with it.

Your parents are happy for your brother...only you are determined to spoil things. Nonsense

My concern is this,when your brother eventually finds out the truth later,how do you think he will react? He will definitely be disappointed @ his parents for hiding such from him....tell him so he knows the truth and makes his decision...This issue is extremely sensitive,one that can either ruin the marriage or make him unhappy,hate his inlaws,angry all through his married life.is a broken engagement not better than a broken marriage? He has to know the truth now,before the wedding than after.your parents need to understand,this is marriage not buisness.for everything to become water under the bridge,there has to be true honesty and forgiveness.not allowing him to ignorantly marry into a family he still feels bitter about.Let him know,and take his decision..then try to forgive and let go too.your bro too needs to forgive,thats why He must know! because hez still angry and bitter even though he does'nt know the family yet..my thoughts!!!

If you let your brother marry that daughter of jezebel I will personally place curse on you.


Your pare ts might have forgiven them but since you have not forgiven them you're within your right to tell your brother the truth.



Not only that, after you made sure your brother dumped her find a way to deal with her parents in your own way.


They must not go Scot free

SSpeter:
I am can never be God. I don't want any of those memories......My brother should know the truth. He deserves the truth!.....i can't be part of a family with a man that nearly ruined my family

If I was your brother and you withheld this truth from me before I married that lady, I would kill u.

The fact is you owe him the truth, he deserves to know..

That wouldn't stop them from marrying each other at least the whole family can have a meeting and reconcile

But you must let him know.

I'm even surprised you are pondering telling him

Naughtysite:

Just drop this bitterness so that you can make HEAVEN.

smh, even the bible says Olorun owu ni mi ti be ese baba wo lara omo

And don't listen to the mofos here saying you shouldn't tell your brother. you have to let him know

Op your brother deserves the truth about everything. If they are meant to be together, they'll still end up together. The lady's father has to learn a lesson that what goes around comes back around. If u deny him the truth now he would find it hard to believe anything u tell him later in the future. Call him and narrate the whole situation to him and tell him u are not interested in destroying his relationship but as siblings u owe him the truth about the past.
HE NEEDS TO KNOW!

Let it go bro, let it go,....holding the grudge makes it all worse. But letting go elevates you to a level they can't reach. They can have all d money and power but they can't still buy the class you have....let it go. But still tell your bro but don't advice against the marriage

At Op I want you to read this with an open mind.

I know how it must have being to see your mother cry so hard and your father beaten up, embarrassed and afraid. For a young child it would have been so sad and confusing. But honestly do you know the truth of what really transpired? Do you know if the person that sold the building to your father had a genuine claim to it? Do you know if the girls father was just a victim in all this. We all wish to see our parents as smart, perfect beings but is that really the truth.

Of all the girls in the world your brother had to bring this girl, God is interested in this story and truth will soon be out.

How would you feel if somebody wants to punish you for your father's crime? Do you think it is fair or right? If some of us were been punished for our great grandparents or grandparents deed many of us won't exist.

Like you said the girl might be as bad as her father but we have seen juju priest give birth to pastors, pastor giving birth to agberos and the examples go on.

Forgive and move on, tell your brother but not with sole aim of stopping the marriage. Let your brother make his decision. Revenge has fueled so much that u refuse to be happy for your brother.

The family already put u guys through he'll why let them do it the second time.

Revenge will drain you of everything good.

Well i'll say you tell your brother and leave the judgement to him, he is also bittered about the issue, and he comes to know of it, it'll be hell for the innocent lady, who would pay the price for her father's wickedness with her marriage, as it will surely be hell.

But come to think of it, God works in funny ways, what if her dad wills all he has to her, i believe your brother will be bringing back what was lost then.

SSpeter:
I think am digging three

With this type of bitterness, God forbid you kill someone in revenge, will you be ready to spend the rest of your life in jail ?

I repeat, just forgive. Some people have seen worst things.

On the other hand, YOUR BROS DESERVES THE TRUTH. I stand for truth because if he finds out later, he might feel you guys back stabbed him.

Just send him a text but dont be bitter over it. " Egbon, e be like say that ur babe nah Mr. Salami daughter. Ask am o "...

Guy tell ur bro, wats d guarantee dat wen she marries ur bro she won't turn him against ur family, a stitch In time saves nine ma brother.. If ur bro hears abt it afta d marriage dnt u tink he'll feel worse, tell him nd if he feels he luvs her, make him marry her, den comot ur body n forget d past..

siegfried99:


If I was your brother and you withheld this truth from me before I married that lady, I would kill u.

The fact is you owe him the truth, he deserves to know..

That wouldn't stop them from marrying each other at least the whole family can have a meeting and reconcile

But you must let him know.

I'm even surprised you are pondering telling him

God bless you bro

It is good to forgive, but the brother should know about it all. For how long can they continue to hide it. Sooner or later the truth must come out but the truth is better revealed now before it is too late. When the brother must have known the truth but decides to go on with the wedding, it is then his choice, and then the aggrieved young man should hold his peace. So OP, let your brother know and then leave him to decide for himself. Truth be told, it is hard to let go in this kind of situation.

adozie:
Your parents are right. You are WRONG!!!
You are pursuing a personal vendetta and you want to ruin your brothers joy.
The courts ruled in the case, that means that the man who sold the house to your dad erred. You should hold him and his family responsible, especially if you claim the original owner had a will.

Listen, am having the same problem now and I am going to court. My late father wrote a will and gave me, a big landed property, just like he gave my other siblings. I live abroad and before I came back, my oldest brother (first son) had sold more than 30 plots from the land. He claimed he is the first son and had the right to sell, despite a will from our father the owner of the property.
I will have my day in court and the people he sold the land to should not see me as the enemy.

Let your brother have his happiness. Your parents probably know a lot more about the transaction than you do.
Let peace reign.

My brother no hurt feelings but in this part of the world the person who won the case isn't really the person who is right.

what if i tell u to go hold ur brother for the land he sold not me the buyer who has the certification of ownership.

well i will simply put they lost the case becos the other ppl where richer and more influential that's simple.

obiorathesubtle:
Brother, you have to let it go.. You don't have to be bitter about it anymore.. Your parents have told you to forget about it.. This is an opportunity to reconcile both families together.. Please.. Don't do what you want you to.

it is not easy to let go, but believe me you will feel better if you let go. the girl is just an innocent victim of circumstance. if you believe in God, ask him to give you his spirit to let go. Remember that Joseph forgave his 10 brothers.

jahlove4jah:
it is not easy to let go, but believe me you will feel better if you let go. the girl is just an innocent victim of circumstance. if you believe in God, ask him to give you his spirit to let go. Remember that Joseph forgave his 10 brothers.

Joseph case is different