I am posting this believing that many guys visit the family section too.

My wife and I were chosen as part of the church committee on family issues. The committee has organized many seminars, talks and interaction fora for different family issues. Such include, family finances, child upbringing (children were participants too), in-laws wahalas, careers, and most recently sex as a means of oneness and procreation. The revelations from this last seminar (sex) and the discussions that emanated gave me and my wife a big shock.

It is very common to see or hear all guys bragging of their sexual prowess. On a forum like Nairaland.com, every guy (married or single) have a 7-12 inch dick, can go 30mins none stop, and can make a woman scream always. On the other hand, every married woman is highly satisfied with their sex life(I don't blame them though, afterall, it is a taboo in our society for women to talk about sex or desire satisfaction). But the reality is most married women are not getting what they desire in the bedroom from their husbands. To make matter worst, most of them had tasted good sex before marriage. But in marriage they had to pretend to be satisfied, otherwise they are labelled as sluts. Or, just lie there fantasising about their ex. Some have even contemplated getting it outside, some are doing it, while some opt for romance toys (secretly).

Out of 10 ladies that my wife interacted with, with strict confidence, 5 confessed to either having some form of satisfaction from other men by way of romance or full sex, 2 confessed of having intimacy gadgets to satisfy themselves without the husbands' knowledge, 2 had contemplated doing it (cheating), but are scared of the repercussion as they are from a place where the deities are set against such acts (Note: they are not scared of their hubbies), and only 1 said she is satisfied with hubby's strength in the bedroom. Please note, I can not take this to be a true representation of the of the society. This must be an unfortunate sample size, I guess.

In all these, I see that some women are not getting what they desire. Men are mostly blamed in all these cases. Some don't care if their women have the ability to enjoy sex too, some don't let their wives to contribute or suggest something with regards to their performance. All the 10 husbands to these ladies told me how wonderful they are with their wives in the bedroom. 7 confessed to getting BJ from their wives, but only one returned such favour to his partner. Are guys that selfish? Or these things only change after you are married? I believe "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". As a matter of fact, once you can give a good head, half of your job is done and done well.

If you have weak erektion, as some of the ladies complained, discuss it with your wife and look for solution together. Look for other ways to please her aside penetration. If you have quick ejakulation problem, delay penetration till she is close to her big 'O', while you seek medical attention. You can discuss and agree to start with a romance toy or finish it up with it. This is not the age to shy away or allow the male ego to spoil things for your family. Note, a sexually unsatisfied wife is a nagging wife or a pretender.

I wish all couples a satisfying marriage life.

Wow.

Eventually all marital matter still comes back to sex,even if publicly people never say it.

I have always said it,people getting married should be sure they are sexually comparable as this is the main cause of infidelity.

Couples too should be open to each other,they should be able to talk about Sex and be able to tell their partners about how it should be improved if the satisfaction is not their.

This does not make the man or woman a slut.

If a woman cheats, it is because she wants to cheat,and just looking for an excuse to blame the man. Every woman should be able to discuss all sexual matters with their husbands.

We are talking about the husbands here,and not some stranger.

Well said.

na today,12inches got me laffing...if u guys do a wider research u will find more shocking truths...then d men start making it look like women aint allowed to enjoy sex...this society ehn kills women every seconds...d ones dt get to thrive are d ones dt are truly determined.

Hw can they be satisfied when they are after a rich man who has enough money...

op, are u sure u are satisfying ur wife too? examine ursef too o.
like i have always said, we live in a world were we know and can profer solutions to all dat is wrong with others EXCEPT ourselves. isn't dat irony?
in d end, man or woman, most of us are hypocrites.

shegxi:
op, are u sure u are satisfying ur wife too? examine ursef too o.
like i have always said, we live in a world were we know and can profer solutions to all dat is wrong with others EXCEPT ourselves. isn't dat irony?
in d end, man or woman, most of us are hypocrites.

About most of us being hypocrites, I agree with you wholly. Hypocrisy is a Nigerian thing.

But on this topic and your question, I can't say that I am an expect, but we discussed our expectations and limitations with wifie before we got married. We are very open about our needs, and very curious about each others body. That has kept us satisfied of our sexual lives. We experiment on a lot of stuffs. At least wifie has the freedom to complain, but she is yet to complain.

Who's this?

injuredman:


About most of us being hypocrites, I agree with you wholly. Hypocrisy is a Nigerian thing.

But on this topic and your question, I can't say that I am an expect, but we discussed our expectations and limitations with wifie before we got married. We are very open about our needs, and very curious about each others body. That has kept us satisfied of our sexual lives. We experiment on a lot of stuffs. At least wifie has the freedom to complain, but she is yet to complain.

Your post is very insightful. Thanks

Ishilove:

Your post is very insightful. Thanks

Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

KingEbukasBlog:


Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

does this even make sense @ all?

darkenedrebel:


does this even make sense @ all?

You read the post upside down . Try reading it the right way with your glasses on next time

KingEbukasBlog:


You read the post upside down . Try reading it the right way with your glasses on next time

'most women bore men with their languid sex styles' is what you said

You were talking off point, & probably read the op's post blindfolded.

darkenedrebel:


'most women bore men with their languid sex styles' is what you said

You were talking off point, & probably read the op's post blindfolded.

my point is that the women are to blame not the men .

injuredman:
I am posting this believing that many guys visit the family section too.

My wife and I were chosen as part of the church committee on family issues. The committee has organized many seminars, talks and interaction fora for different family issues. Such include, family finances, child upbringing (children were participants too), in-laws wahalas, careers, and most recently sex as a means of oneness and procreation. The revelations from this last seminar (sex) and the discussions that emanated gave me and my wife a big shock.

It is very common to see or hear all guys bragging of their sexual prowess. On a forum like Nairaland.com, every guy (married or single) have a 7-12 inch dick, can go 30mins none stop, and can make a woman scream always. On the other hand, every married woman is highly satisfied with their sex life(I don't blame them though, afterall, it is a taboo in our society for women to talk about sex or desire satisfaction). But the reality is most married women are not getting what they desire in the bedroom from their husbands. To make matter worst, most of them had tasted good sex before marriage. But in marriage they had to pretend to be satisfied, otherwise they are labelled as sluts. Or, just lie there fantasising about their ex. Some have even contemplated getting it outside, some are doing it, while some opt for romance toys (secretly).

Out of 10 ladies that my wife interacted with, with strict confidence, 5 confessed to either having some form of satisfaction from other men by way of romance or full sex, 2 confessed of having intimacy gadgets to satisfy themselves without the husbands' knowledge, 2 had contemplated doing it (cheating), but are scared of the repercussion as they are from a place where the deities are set against such acts (Note: they are not scared of their hubbies), and only 1 said she is satisfied with hubby's strength in the bedroom. Please note, I can not take this to be a true representation of the of the society. This must be an unfortunate sample size, I guess.

In all these, I see that some women are not getting what they desire. Men are mostly blamed in all these cases. Some don't care if their women have the ability to enjoy sex too, some don't let their wives to contribute or suggest something with regards to their performance. All the 10 husbands to these ladies told me how wonderful they are with their wives in the bedroom. 7 confessed to getting BJ from their wives, but only one returned such favour to his partner. Are guys that selfish? Or these things only change after you are married? I believe "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". As a matter of fact, once you can give a good head, half of your job is done and done well.

If you have weak erection, as some of the ladies complained, discuss it with your wife and look for solution together. Look for other ways to please her aside penetration. If you have quick ejaculation problem, delay penetration till she is close to her big 'O', while you seek medical attention. You can discuss and agree to start with a romance toy or finish it up with it. This is not the age to shy away or allow the male ego to spoil things for your family. Note, a sexually unsatisfied wife is a nagging wife or a pretender.

I wish all couples a satisfying marriage life.

So so insightful and on-point

KingEbukasBlog:


my point is that the women are to blame not the men .

Yh yh, women are always to blame. Let's all blame the women, they are the reasons their husbands av weak erection, premature ejaculation or just lacks any sexual imagination or doesn't care abt their satisfaction other than penetrate, release, then sleep, etc
Yes, let's continue blaming women, men are infallible beings, women shld always be at fault

HaneefahRN:

Yh yh, women are always to blame. Let's all blame the women, they are the reasons their husbands av weak erection, premature ejaculation or just lacks any sexual imagination or doesn't care abt their satisfaction other than penetrate, release, then sleep, etc
Yes, let's continue blaming women, men are infallible beings, women shld always be at fault

I think my first post perfectly explains my post . How about improving- giving him a reason to go further than usual .

KingEbukasBlog:


Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

Is like you just read only the title and started commenting. The OP gave vivid example of men who receive BJs (Mouth Action) from their wives, but never returned the favour. Are those ladies boring? If you are a woman, you give your man BJ and ask him to do same and she ask you "where is it in the bible that a man should suck his wife?" what will you do?

I believe his post is insightful and a wake up call to some of us.

Curiouscity:


Is like you just read only the title and started commenting. The OP gave vivid example of men who receive BJs (Mouth Action) from their wives, but never returned the favour. Are those ladies boring? If you are a woman, you give your man BJ and ask him to do same and she ask you "where is it in the bible that a man should suck his wife?" what will you do?

I believe his post is insightful and a wake up call to some of us.

Lol . Im done here

Nice write-up op. But the truth is that, some women cannot be satisfied!

Mintayo:
Nice write-up op. But the truth is that, some women cannot be satisfied!

Because some men dont know how to satisfy their partner and it hurts alot.

African men need to buy video clips about sex and educate themselves on how to pleasure a woman. Its not enough to last 50mins in bed and yet each night when you crave for sex, madam keeps complaining about being sick just so she can avoid another terrible hour of nonsense with you.

@bold, Someone's future selfish husband loading.......

KingEbukasBlog:


Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

KingEbukasBlog:


I think my first post perfectly explains my post . How about improving- giving him a reason to go further than usual .

It perfectly explains nothing. Just last week a married woman amidst other complaints, complained abt how painful sex is wt her husband (probably the penetrate and release type, no pre-intimacy for the woman), she gives him MouthAction, when asked to try it wt her, he suddenly remembered all the diseases one cld get from mouth action.
Some men are just selfish beings, who feel it's only their right to be pleasured, as long as the woman keeps popping out babies, and like cococandy said, u seem like one in the making, no offence

KingEbukasBlog:


Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

Lazy Ode!

A woman who would end up with you is doomed!

HungerBAD:
Wow.

Eventually all marital matter still comes back to sex,even if publicly people never say it.

I have always said it,Couples people getting married should be sure they are sexually comparable as this is the main cause of infidelity.

Couples too should be open to each other,they should be able to talk about Sex and be able to tell their partners about how it should be improved if the satisfaction is not their.

This does not make the man or woman a slut.

If a woman cheats, it is because she wants to cheat,and just looking for an excuse to blame the man. Every woman should be able to discuss all sexual matters with their husbands.

We are talking about the husbands here,and not some stranger.

I hope you can say the same for a cheating hubby

That is why I don't take these men or PMS seriously.

Mintayo:
Nice write-up op. But the truth is that, some women cannot be satisfied!

Nah

The truth is most women do not enjoy sex with their partners.

OP, can we know the name of ur church?

Nnemuka:

Because some men dont know how to satisfy their partner and it hurts alot.

African men need to buy video clips about sex and educate themselves on how to pleasure a woman. Its not enough to last 50mins in bed and yet each night when you crave for sex, madams keeps complaining about being sick just so she can avoid another terrible hour of nonsense with you.

I still insist that some women can not be satisfied. I don't know what is there in the video clips that most men have not heard or seen before. The earlier you women understand that sex in marriage is a mutual thing the better.

doveda:


Lazy Ode!

A woman who would end up with you is doomed!

doomed oo... I just dey give am side eye. One minute man that still won't learn. Tufiakwa. One unfortunate woman will end up with him now. *sigh

MsGlobalwonder:
doomed oo... I just dey give am side eye. One minute man that still won't learn. Tufiakwa. One unfortunate woman will end up with him now. *sigh

The woman that is going to end up with him sef must have issues with herself.

God help her case

HaneefahRN:

Yh yh, women are always to blame. Let's all blame the women, they are the reasons their husbands av weak erection, premature ejaculation or just lacks any sexual imagination or doesn't care abt their satisfaction other than penetrate, release, then sleep, etc
Yes, let's continue blaming women, men are infallible beings, women shld always be at fault

Lies. Blatant lies. Truthless lies.

The sexual imagination in every man's head is overflowing. In fact they can give the creator a run for his money with it. But 98percent of the time the women are unwilling to try it. The women also won't even suggest one.

You are unwilling to try out a fantasy. You won't suggest one either and yet you expect sexual satisfaction. Who does that?