okontasamuel90:
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Walalhi you go pay me,Seun and lalasticlala for this advert...

Anyways no wahala,GOD bless your hustle.

Was gonna quote someone until I saw the date this thread was created

I always enjoy op's write up

Toks2008:
Adrenal rush of love a.k.a initial gragra...A dangerous precept

You meet a guy or a lady and you hit if off immediately with the person, both of you can't seem to hear enough of each other's voice,chatting became so regular and you just start to imagine being around the person always and every form of idiosyncrasies of that person feels so cool with you and you begin to believe there is a great chemistry between both of you and you just can't shake off the feeling that you have met the right person.

Then after a short while,maybe days,weeks or months the communication dwindles and you even care less if such person exists and you tend to ask if that was the same person you felt so magnetized to in just recent past.

You meet another person and then the circle begins just to go the previous way and on and on you experience this never ending tidal wave of affection

This is known as adrenal rush of love otherwise called initial gragra and many people have made serious mistakes confusing this for the real thing.

Many people have left a promising affair for another person as a result of this false feeling,many ladies have crossed the line to get pregnant for a guy who does not really want them during this stage and some people have destroyed their marriages by having an affair with another person just because of this crazy imaginary feeling while some men have proposed marriage to women during this stage just to realize latter that what they felt was just a flimsy wave of initial thunderbolt of a made believe affection.

No matter how crazy you feel at the start towards that person,please slow down and start as friends. Give it time like a year and make sure you observe that person keenly for red flags and you will come to know better if what you are feeling is the real deal or just a passing,flimsy,tidal facade called adrenal rush of desire which i call initial gragra.


Be wise

One whole year?
What if my intention is to hit and run? Why should I wait that long when I don't intent to stay with her more than 3 months?......

No level there....I should by myself keep myself in the friend zone for one year... Haaaa
God self go vex coz the area go don depreciate by some huge percent after one year na

Toks2008:


Walalhi you go pay me,Seun and lalasticlala for this advert...

Anyways no wahala,GOD bless your hustle.

Baba, you are the official love doctor on Nairaland. all your posts are always on point. you have a great deal of experience on so many issues and so at the age of 41, i don't joke with all your posts.

Infact, i am saying it loud and clear, any post by Toks2008 should be an automatic front page material. (lalasticala please take note)


Baba please, there are some questions i'll like to ask you on some stuffs (not on relationship matters though). can i send you a pm please?

cheers.

I can't read pls, I need help

Who ask you.. Sabi sabi

Toks2008:


Ofcourse you cant force yourself to love someone just that its most unfortunate that ladies usually love a guy who has no genuine feelings for them while friendzoning the guy who sincerely wants them

. Hav u now gone from adressing & tutoring EVERYONE to emphasizing on LADIES? Hmmm..u don com wit chauvinism now wen i was just beginning to enjoy d topic

manee2:
Did he jst say A YEAR?_ like 1..2...3





4..
5..













...60
















...365 days.










Wtf! Modify ur thread brU.

. Yea, i faulted that too

Toks2008:


YES I DO but Over the years i have realized that LOVE is the most wrongly used word in the dictionary.

I have seen many people who professed love to each other just to make a 360 degree turn and then i tend to wonder if they ever understood that word love.

I have even heard of a situation where a man found it so easy to walk away from his wife and children after many years just to conclude that what he felt all through the years was probably pity and not love.

It has become the norm for us to now see a million dollar wedding crashing down even before it began and then these same people who were all smiles and curdled up on the wedding day, exchanging vows will turn against each other with so much hatred.

Husbands kill same woman they made a vow to love and wives do same to their hubbies even when they have borne the same man children.

How many husbands can still tell their wives "i love you" even if she denies him sex? how many husbands will still love their wives if she refuses to do her duties as a wife in the house? and how many women will still love their husbands even if he fails to live up to his status?

Judging from all these happenings i have decided to stop using that word love and any one who uses such word to describe his or her feelings for the partner must really take a chill pill and think deep before uttering such.

If from the real life situation i see, i think it will be reasonable for anyone to wait for at least 20years of being with your partner before you can truly say those words "I LOVE YOU" even if we all know that even after 30years people can still turn against each other but at least 20years is good enough to pass that assertion.

I have come to believe that LOVE can only exist between GOD and man and what humans feel is just a temporary feeling of desire which can be in form of initial gragra(Adrenaline love), infatuation(Unreasoning love),Lust or maybe a superficial love as a result of what you are getting from that person and in the absence of such will diminish.

Yes maybe i am over-flogging it,maybe we still have true love between very rare partners but the truth is that i would rather seek for a true friendship, a true bonding which i have found to be more realistic than that facade called True love.

*Just thinking*

. Love is not a facade. Love is the realest thin ever. The problem is peopl tend to forget the origin of the word "love'. People mistake love for sexual feelings, people mistake love for fondness or attraction. Thats y u see true stories where men murder their wives & vice versa. My dear u dont hav to wait 20yrs to knw u love somone. Anyone dat wants to wait 20yrs will probably live forever without loving & being loved. For you to be able to love u hav to hav love in your life & in your heart because u cant giv wat u dont hav. And how can u hav love in your heart? By seeking to have the originator & founder of love in you, and that is Christ, i know many ppl might not want to hear this but dats d truth whether we accept it or not. You can never love truely without Christ in your heart. Try & search & watch d movie 'fireproof' pls, u ll understnd where am comin from

Nice one @Op, na Bbm and WhatsApp chat dey cause all these things.


People chat for just a day and feel they have known like forever.

no mind them they no dey hear word.

Sunshinelady:
. Love is not a facade. Love is the realest thin ever. The problem is peopl tend to forget the origin of the word "love'. People mistake love for sexual feelings, people mistake love for fondness or attraction. Thats y u see true stories where men murder their wives & vice versa. My dear u dont hav to wait 20yrs to knw u love somone. Anyone dat wants to wait 20yrs will probably live forever without loving & being loved. For you to be able to love u hav to hav love in your life & in your heart because u cant giv wat u dont hav. And how can u hav love in your heart? By seeking to have the originator & founder of love in you, and that is Christ, i know many ppl might not want to hear this but dats d truth whether we accept it or not. You can never love truely without Christ in your heart. Try & search & watch d movie 'fireproof' pls, u ll understnd where am comin from

u just spoilt a nice writeup, by bringing religion into it... whether u have christ or not, a marriage that will collapse, will certainly collapse... btw, Christ never had any relationship sexual in nature, just as the Bible affirms it. And I believe Apostle Paul shed more light on this issue about having & not having a partner.

I know the feeling! Sigh!

Nice one OP...

Has happened to me b4 and d guy was already thinking we were dating!


And wen I asked him wats with d boyfriend attitude, he then replied, "am I not ur boyfriend"? See me see wahala, immediately I just change am 4 d guy.


We're friends now anyway...

Sickstars see what am saying? Don't deactivate your account!

Toks2008:


YES I DO but Over the years i have realized that LOVE is the most wrongly used word in the dictionary.

I have seen many people who professed love to each other just to make a 360 degree turn and then i tend to wonder if they ever understood that word love.

I have even heard of a situation where a man found it so easy to walk away from his wife and children after many years just to conclude that what he felt all through the years was probably pity and not love.

It has become the norm for us to now see a million dollar wedding crashing down even before it began and then these same people who were all smiles and curdled up on the wedding day, exchanging vows will turn against each other with so much hatred.

Husbands kill same woman they made a vow to love and wives do same to their hubbies even when they have borne the same man children.

How many husbands can still tell their wives "i love you" even if she denies him sex? how many husbands will still love their wives if she refuses to do her duties as a wife in the house? and how many women will still love their husbands even if he fails to live up to his status?

Judging from all these happenings i have decided to stop using that word love and any one who uses such word to describe his or her feelings for the partner must really take a chill pill and think deep before uttering such.

If from the real life situation i see, i think it will be reasonable for anyone to wait for at least 20years of being with your partner before you can truly say those words "I LOVE YOU" even if we all know that even after 30years people can still turn against each other but at least 20years is good enough to pass that assertion.

I have come to believe that LOVE can only exist between GOD and man and what humans feel is just a temporary feeling of desire which can be in form of initial gragra(Adrenaline love), infatuation(Unreasoning love),Lust or maybe a superficial love as a result of what you are getting from that person and in the absence of such will diminish.

Yes maybe i am over-flogging it,maybe we still have true love between very rare partners but the truth is that i would rather seek for a true friendship, a true bonding which i have found to be more realistic than that facade called True love.

*Just thinking*

Hmmn

OlowoB:


Baba, you are the official love doctor on Nairaland. all your posts are always on point. you have a great deal of experience on so many issues and so at the age of 41, i don't joke with all your posts.

Infact, i am saying it loud and clear, any post by Toks2008 should be an automatic front page material. (lalasticala please take note)


Baba please, there are some questions i'll like to ask you on some stuffs (not on relationship matters though). can i send you a pm please?

cheers.

Thanks dude.

Sure you can send a PM yo me weneva

manee2:
Did he jst say A YEAR?_ like 1..2...3





4..
5..













...60
















...365 days.










Wtf! Modify ur thread brU.

Yeah tho i wrote about a year meaning may not be up to but i still think a year or even more is ideal.

No room 4 initial gragra

ahovi40:
I can't read pls, I need help

lmao, y yur life jst b like this?

This is my story...this is my song...currently am in dis type of thingy am just tired of the whole charade

Good to be here.

Nice one op..

Toks2008:


You be olodo if this is long for you to read,im sure you never did literature in school or read hardly chase.

Serious olodo!!! Lmfao

Toks2008:


You be olodo if this is long for you to read,im sure you never did literature in school or read hardly chase.

take am easy with the dude now.

Toks2008:


You be olodo if this is long for you to read,im sure you never did literature in school or read hardly chase.

he read easily chase

such has happen to me and its because she is not de kind of girl am looking for

99% of you guys have never experienced or perceived love....the good book calls that the motions of the flesh..aka initial gra gra

woowww.....dis is wat apen always this is an eye opener...

Nice one op

Loonyy:
This is my story...this is my song...currently am in dis type of thingy am just tired of the whole charade

Except if the person is far from you, why don't you meet the person physically and ascertain if your affections are really rooted and she meets what is compatible to you. If you spend more time with the person you will get to know more from her facial expressions even habits,mannerisms that she may not really communicate to you.