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How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by brownlolly(m): 5:33pm On Jan 30, 2016
She's quite crazy about me.

I'm sensitive to peoples feelings so its not obvious that I'm not into her. We're always busy sonwe hardly get to c.
Talph:


Please how does she feel about you?
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Wumine(f): 5:36pm On Jan 30, 2016
There is no force in love. Just tell him, he will get over it with time. The sooner the better......it will pass! i was once in this position but i took the coward way out, i avoided him and his calls till it fazed out (thank God we were not in the same state). Had to apologize later, if there's no chemistry, there's simply no chemistry!
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Talph: 5:41pm On Jan 30, 2016
brownlolly:
She's quite crazy about me.

I'm sensitive to peoples feelings so its not obvious that I'm not into her. We're always busy sonwe hardly get to c.

You might want to let her know on time even if you both dont get to see regularly.
You don't want her hoping on what's never going to happen, emotion is s crazy thing bro.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by cozy7(m): 5:54pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
We started dating last year november.
We haven't gone intimate yet and he doesn't even pressurize me.
Truth is, i don't love him, and i think i made a mistake accepting to date him.
I've found out we have literally nothing in common.

Throughout our relationship, i've never said the word "i love you" to him.
He called last night and asked me if i love him and i couldn't give a direct answer cause i didn't want him to get hurt.

Dear romancelanders, whats the best way i could tell him how i really feel?

I no how u feel bcoz I've been there b4, trust me, d longer u take to tell him d truth, d harder it'll become 4u 2do and d more hurt he'll feel. U got a good hrt n that's y u reluctant 2tell him. I consider ur inability to tell him 2mean that he doesn't deserve a breakup. Swthrt, plz don't hurt him more by playing with his hrt (not telling him), TELL HIM. If it were me, I'd want 2no. But u really need 2pray he forgives u bcoz 2luv someone is easy, but 2b her broken is d difficult part. TELL HIM!
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Nicepoker(m): 5:59pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
Is it that none of you nairalanders have ever been in this situation before,i need advice and not insults.
non of us only u.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by spoman: 5:59pm On Jan 30, 2016
Just stop Bitching around, thats the only solution.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by solesy: 6:00pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
We started dating last year november.
We haven't gone intimate yet and he doesn't even pressurize me.
Truth is, i don't love him, and i think i made a mistake accepting to date him.
I've found out we have literally nothing in common.

Throughout our relationship, i've never said the word "i love you" to him.
He called last night and asked me if i love him and i couldn't give a direct answer cause i didn't want him to get hurt.

Dear romancelanders, whats the best way i could tell him how i really feel?

my dear i've gone through such be4 and i did not date him because of money or material tins i dated him out of pity, we dated for six month with out sex and he was not complaning. during that 6month i broke up wit him like 4 time's but he wouldn't let go. The day i finally broke up wit him i left my area for 4month and that was when i find out i was in Love wit him but it was 2late he was already datin some1 very close to me.it's been a year now and am still in love wit him, still paying the dues for my mistake.... So my dear Act fast have a chat wit him tell him how u feel be blunt wit him and belive me he would not let go so easy and that is when u have to do the thinking and don't 4get to follow ur heart so u would not get hurt at the end.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Kay17: 6:08pm On Jan 30, 2016
efficiencie:


you are the definition of WICKEDNESS...you agreed to date him at the start and you did not realize that you did not love him then. Now after a while it dawns on you that you did not love him. I wonder what love means nowadays! So your love is variable, evolutionary and unstable. Your love changes with times and season. It is ladies like you that encourage the bad tendencies in men, "to hit and run"!

My advice, the same way you agreed to date him, you should also let him know his fate. The same way you boldly accepted his offer, boldly tell him to his face that you do not need him. It is better you hurt him a little now that his bond with you is relatively weak that cheat of him eventually when his bond with you is strongest and you end up making a monster out of a good guy! A monster that many ladies like you come here to complain about...

Narratives can be entrapping especially with what we call love. The man following the narrative, chases the girl and uses his "swag" and masculine charm, gifts and persistence to seduce the girl. The girl in response, falls in love. This narrative is found in all medium of culture -- movies, romance magazines and even moonlight tales

But this narrative is not always in touch with reality. The guy's pains will be from a sense of inadequacy. The girl also feels guilty for vying off her role in the narrative.

I feel sympathy for both.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by folks4luv(f): 6:08pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
Is it that none of you nairalanders have ever been in this situation before,i need advice and not insults.
actually, same thing has happened to me before, but I ended it in less than 2 weeks or so. I suggest u tell him, remember d matter is getting more complicated every single day, twas one month, den to 2months, d more it increase, d more complicated and d more guilty u will b. so let him no. if u can't find a common ground since last year. I doubt u will again.. I did mine through text message, though I was younger then. I knew he may hate me, but I took that as a punishment for my mistake. so tell him. ASAP
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Wowzer(m): 6:09pm On Jan 30, 2016
Don't know why some guys can't take no for an answer. Reminds me of a lady late last year who told me No.... few weeks after we started seeing each other.

She told me we should just be friends and nothing more. I accepted the offer and stopped chatting her. Despite that she calls regularly, until I told her there was no need for the call anymore and she needs to assume we never met. That I was moving on.

She was shocked and I stood my ground. Early this month, I told her that was our last conversation and was going to delete her after hanging up. This is 2016. Last year is by gone and history. Told her if you ring me and you not getting through ...know that I have deleted you as promised.

I deleted the time waster off. Don't need me...I Don't need you either. No time for bull****t.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by streetzdreamz(m): 6:14pm On Jan 30, 2016
no one determines or controls his or her feelings when its real,its not a crime to feel nothing for a guy doting over you,but its a crime deserving a death sentence when you make him feel you actually feel the same way,whatever happened to being blunt and honest??y'al justifying your lies with "ion wanna hurt him",tell him the truth and let him make a decision,either to stick to you and tryna win you over someday or dump your metallic ass,y'al saying you v had a broken heart hence can't love again,say;who ever told you that lie need be tied to a stake!!you just not patient enough to meet the guy that'l make your heart race!!now subjecting a dude to some emotional trauma all cuz of your uncertain emotional instability,now when the guy turns out being a shadow of himself y'al screams bloody murder, "all guys are heartless and wicked" tell that guy that thinks you make his world go round that you feel nothing for him,and set him free from your shackles!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder the kinda guys you dating that can't even read betwixt the lines,buncha confused beings.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by noblegrex: 6:18pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
Is it that none of you nairalanders have ever been in this situation before,i need advice and not insults.
how on earth do you think you'll type this kind of a thing and not be insulted.personally,I'll have insulted you but I perceived you're trully confused.well,all I know is that you're not settled.your mind is not ready for a relationship and that guy will really need to go extra mile to win your heart.of which, he knows nothing about it. But then,don't leave if you've not find someone else and if you must leave him,just show him green light you don't have to speak.but I hope there's no big bros somewhere.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by streetzdreamz(m): 6:20pm On Jan 30, 2016
Wowzer:
Don't know why some guys can't take no for an answer. Reminds me of a lady late last year who told me No.... few weeks after we started seeing each other.

She told me we should just be friends and nothing more. I accepted the offer and stopped chatting her. Despite that she calls regularly, until I told her there was no need for the call anymore and she needs to assume we never met. That I was moving on.

She was shocked and I stood my ground. Early this month, I told her that was our last conversation and was going to delete her after hanging up. This is 2016. Last year is by gone and history. Told her if you ring me and you not getting through ...know that I have deleted you as promised.

I deleted the time waster off. Don't need me...I Don't need you either. No time for bull****t.





lolz,she was obviously expecting a further plea and push from u,all those annoying lines like "you can't live without her and all those gibberish"now here is a MAN!!!
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Helloflife: 6:22pm On Jan 30, 2016
Mixty:

You are just 17 years old and you are already talking abt love and heartbreaks at your age. What do you know about love sef?
You better leave Nairaland romance section and go face your studies angry angry angry
See her post about a year ago:


that isn't me. This account is shared.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by missyQween(f): 6:27pm On Jan 30, 2016
Tell him the truth....Sometimes u don't go into relationship because of pity. .because at the end one will be hurt....Make I cry for d guy sef....Hohohoho
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by tosyne2much(m): 6:27pm On Jan 30, 2016
intbizoil:
I blame the poor guy, there is no way i would be with a lady for that long without knowing where i stand in the relationship. thats why I advised somebody in the other thread to be rugged and always be a step ahead when dealing with human beings. now this op after spending this guy's money wants to ball out anyway none of my bizness
I just blame the poor dude. I don't know if some dudes are not sensitive enough to know where they stand. Nawa oooo cool
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Wowzer(m): 6:33pm On Jan 30, 2016
Streetzdreamz. Yeah. You right. She never knew I'm the type that don't sit on the fence and don't force things to be. It has to be mutual and natural.

If you want me...I want you.
Trust me...I Trust you.
Love me...I Love you.
F***k me....Then it's F***k you.

No sorrow.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Kay17: 6:36pm On Jan 30, 2016
Maximus85:


Modern marriages don't last because the two parties have their different meanings to what love it. They tend to compare others to their partners. They haven't grown together in love. Therefore, they hardly agree.

But let's consider the oooooold school marriage process. Bode and Bose doesn't know each other. Baba and Mama Bode goes out in search of a good woman for Bode. They finds Bose after rigorous research.

Bode might never have seen Bose before. They prolly would meet close to the wedding day or even on the wedding day. This will be sounding like poo in some people's hears. But history says that divorce is a very hard thing to happen back then. Marriage lasts.

Bode and Bose naturally wouldn't love each other just like that. But they both respects the opinion and decisions of their parents. Each knows their responsibilities and carry them out. Love is not the primary basis for this strong union but being responsible. Bode and Bose will start to cultivate love together, love will mean the something to both of them. They are cemented. They become one soul.
Many will say this is barbaric but it works. Cos they follow the first process of marriage. God brought Eve to Adam.

Today the story is different and the next thing you hear is divorce.

OP, no one will force you to love this dude. But you have a golden chance to own a relationship / marriage that will last forever. Love isn't the major basis for marriage. Think about it.

Is he responsible, patience, self sacrificing, honest, loyal, forgiving, trustworthy, decent, kind, enduring? If he has all these and you don't love him..... Then I'm sorry, you don't know what you want.
See 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Such marriages had simplistic assumptions. A good wife was a woman who could wash, clean and cook. Basically a house maid with matrimonial functions of bearing as many children as possible. And the husband can and did marry many women. Within this polygamous setting, there was this gratitude sometimes mistaken for love for the man who was Lord over them.

But women of today see themselves more differently.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by P0intBlank(m): 6:38pm On Jan 30, 2016
Amberon:
we have a very similar situation. My bf who happens to be my best friend persisted and disturbed me for years, I finally gave in but I don't love him one bit. The thing is that he's crazy about me, before we started dating we'd sleep over at each other's houses a couple of times but he never touched me nor asked for sex. up till this day, he hasn't asked me for sex.

he's cute, dresses very very very well, neat and treats me like an angel. I told him countlessly that I didn't love him and couldn't date him but he came back begging and vowed that he must marry me. He even told everyone that we're engaged....

Anyways I made a promise to stick with him even tho I don't love him, after all the one I used to love didn't treat me well.

PS: before someone starts saying sh!t, I'm not dating him for money. I know I won't fall in love again, so I gave in simply because he loves and cherishes me, he's purpose driven and has good qualities which so many men lack. he also advises me like a sister.

I mean no harm but I think women are complex. Can someone be ur best friend and not be loved one bit? Is love limited to goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach? What's ur definition of love? Why do u think u love or loved your ex? Was there something he was doing or had that your current bf doesn't? Was it his physical appearance? Or is it just a case of loving what one can not have and not valuing what one has? Sorry, I have asked too many questions. I'm just puzzled.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by cr7lomo: 6:43pm On Jan 30, 2016
The mature and experienced ones will say stick with him because love will not seal a marriage or guarantee happiness

The kids and most ladies ( selfish beings) will say dont date out of pity , but u will b the one that people will end up pitying when u end up with the one that u end up loving but will be treating u like a b.itch


E b like say karma never do u or person way u no something


Their must b someone making u not to fall in love .... Either an ex or a new one that's catching your fancy ... Girl dont end up with HAD I KNOWN ... That's the language of most girls that was in your position at one time
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by pamellla(f): 6:53pm On Jan 30, 2016
2sex:
madam, you are wrong. She stated it clearly other qualities her guy has and besides, the ones she loved never loved her. She is wiser than you dumb fvck!
mumu.....thrash!
pls do me a favour, read all over again. undecided
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by P0intBlank(m): 6:58pm On Jan 30, 2016
Hermionegranger:
There are so many things to love about your boyfriend and I'm very sure he knows you don't feel the same way and that's why he doesn't want to make any sexual moves because he's waiting for the feeling to be mutual. Why You are yet to fall in love with him is because you have subconsciously refused to move on from your ex who probably doesn't care about your existence right now...you said under your other moniker that he(your ex) doesn't deserve you then stop wasting your feelings on him and give in to your boyfriend before it's too late..by then, you'll neither have him nor will your ex come back to you. Humans can only be patient for so long before they get sick and tired of waiting.

I'm with you on this. If her current boyfriend were to suddenly change she might discover she had actually loved him all this while

1 Like

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by brownlolly(m): 7:03pm On Jan 30, 2016
Hopefully time will straighten things...

The year has just started.

Talph:


You might want to let her know on time even if you both dont get to see regularly.
You don't want her hoping on what's never going to happen, emotion is s crazy thing bro.
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by solesy: 7:05pm On Jan 30, 2016
Helloflife:
We started dating last year november.
We haven't gone intimate yet and he doesn't even pressurize me.
Truth is, i don't love him, and i think i made a mistake accepting to date him.
I've found out we have literally nothing in common.

Throughout our relationship, i've never said the word "i love you" to him.
He called last night and asked me if i love him and i couldn't give a direct answer cause i didn't want him to get hurt.

Dear romancelanders, whats the best way i could tell him how i really feel?

my dear i've gone through such be4 and i did not date him because of money or material tins to be sincere i dated him out of pity. We dated for six month wit out sex and he never complain he was very gentle, gud looking ,careing and very romantic i dont no why i didn't love him then. During our six month's of datin i broke up wit him like 4times but he wouldn't let go. The day i finally broke up wit him i left my area for 4month's and that was i find out i was in LOVE wit him but it was 2late he was already datin some1 very close to me. It's been a year now and am still in love wit him, still paying my dues of mistake, thou we are gud friend's. So my dear have a chat wit him, tell him how u feel, be blunt wit him and belive me he would not let go so easy and that's when u have to do a lot of think. There might be some tin holding u back from loving him, i dnot wont u to get hurt at the End...
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by aprilwise(m): 7:09pm On Jan 30, 2016
I don't tell him yet until after valentine
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Amberon: 7:16pm On Jan 30, 2016
tnx.. this is a very beautiful advice.
Hermionegranger:
There are so many things to love about your boyfriend and I'm very sure he knows you don't feel the same way and that's why he doesn't want to make any sexual moves because he's waiting for the feeling to be mutual. Why You are yet to fall in love with him is because you have subconsciously refused to move on from your ex who probably doesn't care about your existence right now...you said under your other moniker that he(your ex) doesn't deserve you then stop wasting your feelings on him and give in to your boyfriend before it's too late..by then, you'll neither have him nor will your ex come back to you. Humans can only be patient for so long before they get sick and tired of waiting.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by minnato: 7:52pm On Jan 30, 2016
Mixty:

You are just 17 years old and you are already talking abt love and heartbreaks at your age. What do you know about love sef?
You better leave Nairaland romance section and go face your studies angry angry angry
See her post about a year ago:



I knew the op was just a child!!
#Rubbish
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by yunnyp(m): 8:05pm On Jan 30, 2016
i pity the poor niqqa, u used ur stupidity interest to waste someone's time....
why must u accept his proposal when u know u never av feelings for him at all? can u prove to me he never spend a dime on you?

my Only advice for you is to tell him and let the big load in your heart reduce....

you are a bitch!!!
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by danielnomzy(m): 8:19pm On Jan 30, 2016
Tel him u aint interested again on d 15th of Next month......
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by ladycomfort(f): 8:19pm On Jan 30, 2016
OP, tell him you are no longer interested , even if he starts sleeping wiith you, you won't still like him. Guys don't know that there is a difference between sleeping with someone you love and someone you don't love. cool
Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by 2sex(m): 8:33pm On Jan 30, 2016
pamellla:

mumu.....thrash!
pls do me a favour, read all over again. undecided
hey dumb fvck... repeat after me, "dumb fuvck"

1 Like

Re: How Do I Tell Him That I Am Not In Love With Him? by Amberon: 8:45pm On Jan 30, 2016
You haven't asked too n questions. Here is what you need to know

I like him as. friend and care a lot about him.
I don't have feelings for him.
I've never imagined us being intimate nor am I sexually attracted to him.

I just loved my ex for apparently no reason. It wasn't like he was superhuman or anything, I just had these strong feelings of attraction and selflessness towards him. It wasn't about money or anything of that sort. Definitely not his physical appearance.

Love isn't something I can explain.
P0intBlank:


I mean no harm but I think women are complex. Can someone be ur best friend and not be loved one bit? Is love limited to goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach? What's ur definition of love? Why do u think u love or loved your ex? Was there something he was doing or had that your current bf doesn't? Was it his physical appearance? [b]Or is it just a case of loving what one can not have and not valuing what one has? [/b]Sorry, I have asked too many questions. I'm just puzzled.

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