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My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Niceiroko: 5:39pm On Jan 31, 2016
Hw can u b so wicked, u dnt luv him n u collect his kind n cash
Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by truetalknow: 5:39pm On Jan 31, 2016
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE O, ITS JUST THAT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM IS BAD YOU WOULD HAVE REPORTED FIRST. THAT MAN DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER DO, CAANE USED FOR THE FIRST IS STILL ONR THE SHELVES FOR THE NEXT VICTIM. RUN RUN RUN
Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by ednut1(m): 5:39pm On Jan 31, 2016
Every guy paying school fees for gals need to be arrested for stupidity

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Mattew690(m): 5:40pm On Jan 31, 2016
If una don GET better post I go comment joo
HAPPY NEW MONTH IN ADVANCE











FEB 14 ON MY MIND











ANY SURE GURL 4 HERE ?
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by god2good: 5:41pm On Jan 31, 2016
Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

I touch me when u re still saying ", I never said I won't marry him,
Marry, must u marry a man u don't love? what a great mistake, I guess, Sorry must b ur name?
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Nobody: 5:41pm On Jan 31, 2016
Toks2008:


Oh my...

I was actually going to advice you in his favour until i got to that threatning part.

Young lady,go to police station immediately and report him so that he will make an understatement regarding that threat to your life. Please dont take it with levity.

Secondly please leave him at once and move on with your life.

With that threat he made,he just revealed his true colour...A man who truly loves a lady does not issue such threat.

My humnle stand.

This is the Toks I like
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Toks2008(m): 5:43pm On Jan 31, 2016
daretodiffer:

This is the Toks I like
Na you sabi
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by olac21(m): 5:45pm On Jan 31, 2016
You shouldn't have allowed him to pay your sch fees in the first place going by the fact that you didn't love him..there's nothing much to say than for you to accept his marriage or else...He DeAlS with you!runs outa thread!
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by andyanders: 5:46pm On Jan 31, 2016
Marrying out of sympathy is the worst thing that anybody can do in any relationship.

Op, you said you never loved him and yet you were eating his money whereby he was even responsible for your school fees? That is where you got it wrong by eating from the devil. You knowingly knew you never liked/loved him and only cares of what you get from him with the hope you can do away with him one day and that never happened hence the situation you found yourself.

You have gone too dip with him considering that after what he has done for you, and he opened up to accept that he already got a child from another woman that she abandoned, you now want to abandon him cannot work as he might end up carrying out his threat.

I know you must have read about ladies that end up in hospitals or even in their grave as a result of acid bath or direct murder from such guys.

Never take his threat as nothing as he might end up doing what is in his mind.

OP, I feel your pain over this issue considering that the guy in question having gone to your sister to voice his mind is something you guys should not take kindly. The mistake has been done initially by you and having had a dream about this issue goes to show how God loves you by revealing what you never knew about him goes to show that He has a solution to it.Do not be confrontational with that kind of person as he is a time bomb.Only God can separate his person from you. In a civilized society, by his threat, he is a gonna as that alone will have the law enforcement agents to have him arrested. In our society, if you take his threat to the police, they will ask you 'when you dey chop the money and the thing dey sweet you, you complain?' That is Nigeria for you. Ask God to help you out through prayers.


For ladies out there, this is a big lesson for you as relates to collecting money from a guy when you do not love him and hoping to do away with him in future. It is always a two way something. It can work for you if you are lucky to have a guy who is cool and can let things go, but if you are unlucky to have the wicked type, you are a gunner.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Nobody: 5:47pm On Jan 31, 2016
olac21:
You shouldn't have allowed him to pay your sch fees in the first place going by the fact that you didn't love him..there's nothing much to say than for you to accept his marriage or else...He DeAlS with you!runs outa thread!

To marry a man that is threatening her?undecided


Where is your sense?

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by numericalguy(m): 5:47pm On Jan 31, 2016
OP has conveniently painted the guy as a monster while she is a saint,
but he was not a monster when he was doing practically everything for for you.
He was not a monster when he was very caring and saw you through school and was the one paying your school fees.
He was not a monster when he stood by patiently waiting for you for 8 years.
Now that Its time for him to reap the benefit of his labour, you now came out online to paint him bad.

Op, na God go punish you this evil girl.
I'm sure you have no use for him anymore and have most likely been cheating on him with another man on the side.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Nobody: 5:48pm On Jan 31, 2016
Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.
if u wanna marry him den.....make him understand that he did hurt u by having a baby wit another woman.....like u said it's a mistake....he. is partly human for not aborting d baby....alot of guys and girls advising u would hav done dat.......but Plzzzz don't marry him as return gift for d help.....marry him out of love. Not out of bully nor threat.....if u can't marry him.....plz u guys. should part ways amicably
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by peddybossi: 5:50pm On Jan 31, 2016
Hey dear, you really put up a touching story, you got me signing up here, have been a fan of fp for a while now. My advise to you is to let go, the fact that you had a revelation about the man having a child shows how much God loves you and wouldn't want you to end up miserable all because of you want to satisfy someone who isn't willing to pay the same for you.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Nobody: 5:53pm On Jan 31, 2016
Get him to be remorseful and then FULFIL your part of the contract pls. Either that or draw a plan to pay him back in cash or kind
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by DrDunamis(m): 6:01pm On Jan 31, 2016
Don't try yourself!!!
You're not married and he is threatening you like this, you get married to him and he'll kill you. You didn't put a gun to his head and force him to give you any assistance.whatever he did for you was done willingly and not under compulsion and im sure it's still not under contract of you marrying him as the end product.
Be wise.

4 Likes

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Tobium1(m): 6:05pm On Jan 31, 2016
we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,

Why whining and complaining? Ho, You got what u deserve
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by sammaxreal(m): 6:08pm On Jan 31, 2016
Marriage is not a day affair my dear
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by ZeeAfrica(f): 6:09pm On Jan 31, 2016
Dis guy sounds dangerous. He thinks he owns u on top of dis. He he neglects his own child, n expects u nt to b angry for him cheating? Forgiving him wud nt b a problem if u loved him, n if he was also taking care of his child, b him threatning to deal wit u, makes me blv dat shud u go on and marry him, u gona b in a jail marriage n contract aids, and end up depressed bcoz of all de abuse u wil suffer, while he wil b sleeping wit de whole nation and expectin u to b cool coz he paid yo fees. Find a way of paying him, and get out of dis relationship before its too late

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by V0lv0(f): 6:10pm On Jan 31, 2016
M4gunners:
You don't love him,but you let him sponsor your education. God is watching you. As of him gotten another girl pregnant, is a mistake that normally happened in long distance relationship.

How does one 'mistakenly' get someone pregnant. There is no such mistake. He knows what he should have done to prevent a pregnancy. Being in a long distance relationship is not a reason to cheat nor get someone else pregnant. This guy is also exposing her to all sorts of std's and ish.

Op best thing is for you to come up with the money or a payment plan to pay him back.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by byvan03: 6:10pm On Jan 31, 2016
Nothing good will ever come out of a man that can abandon his child and not look back. Marry him and regret.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by numericalguy(m): 6:16pm On Jan 31, 2016
I dont beleive this useless, evil OP is telling us the complete story. I can bet she has another guy is in her life that she's not telling us.



I pray someone does worse to you and also waste your time like you did the guy.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by jacy67(f): 6:18pm On Jan 31, 2016
You dated for four years and you just found out that he cheated with a child? smh
My dear it's not too late to leave for good. Though you made a mistake by accepting his assistance. From his action he merely sees you as a property bought on hire purchase. Things will only get worse when you marry him out of pity

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by oliidell(m): 6:20pm On Jan 31, 2016
Estharfabian:
shocked First off....
You made three Very fatuous Mistakes.

You Went into A Relationship with someone You do not Have feelings for. that is Very wrong. And kinda slutty...

Secondly, It's not always advisable to let a guy Spend way too much for yah..It fuels their ego and uh look? You're kinda paying for it! Plus-it's a Bit Gold-diggy-like...sad

Thirdly, You just had to be inna Relationship with someone with a puerile mentality!grin
It's Your decision And Your right to Quit A relationship if You don't wanna be innit anymore...No one wants a babydaddy!undecided
And Most especially NOT one that doesn't even care about his own Child......What a douchebag!angry

Just Call his bluff...He's just hurt. I guess?

Enuf said Op...It's difficult to top the above.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Blackops(m): 6:20pm On Jan 31, 2016
These Hoes aint loya one bit. After the guy don spend on u u wan kan leave unto say he don born 4 outside. Na ur cross ooo. U go carry am.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by olagbemi118(m): 6:23pm On Jan 31, 2016
You do not love him yet you dated him for 4 years, collected his money and even promised to marry him this year. Hmmmm ladies are unbelievable. Can you deny it that u didn't cheat on him in your 'long distance relationship?' if you do not want the wrath of God to visit you, You have to forgive him and marry him very fast. I don't want to call you an ingrate.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by M4gunners: 6:23pm On Jan 31, 2016
V0lv0:


How does one 'mistakenly' get someone pregnant. There is no such mistake. He knows what he should have done to prevent a pregnancy. Being in a long distance relationship is not a reason to cheat nor get someone else pregnant. This guy is also exposing her to all sorts of std's and ish.

Op best thing is for you to come up with the money or a payment plan to pay him back.
Your opinion i guess!
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Nobody: 6:37pm On Jan 31, 2016
oliidell:

Enuf said Op...It's difficult to top the above.
smiley
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by andyanders: 7:06pm On Jan 31, 2016
jacy67:
You dated for four years and you just found out that he cheated with a child? smh
My dear it's not too late to leave for good. Though you made a mistake by accepting his assistance. From his action he merely sees you as a property bought on hire purchase. Things will only get worse when you marry him out of pity

Exactly. She made a grievous mistake accepting gifts from him and knowing him for 8 yrs, yet she never loved him.

Too bad cus the guy would turn a Munster to her even if she ends up marrying him.If he can abandon his first child and the mother of his baby when he knowingly penetrated her which resulted to the birth of a baby, nothing the guy cannot do with her he finally marries her.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by Oilandgas1(m): 7:18pm On Jan 31, 2016
Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.

May God deliver us from selfish, greedy and wicked
women.
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by dapsonlou(m): 7:25pm On Jan 31, 2016
madridguy:
You don't have to be confused my dear sister. He is not your lover boy but your financier, so there is no point of giving yourself severe headache. They say " Do not marry out of pity " cos marriage is a life contract so you must look very well before you enter. Forget his initial gra-gra with time his body will come down and probably you can make him to love his baby mama. My kobo

Make him love his baby Mama? Is she a Relationship guru or his mother? What's her business with him getting back with his baby Mama. Don't marry someone you don't love period
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by oodua1stson: 7:27pm On Jan 31, 2016
Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.
that's the problem with people like you, you claim not to love him but you have no problem taking money from him?



You're a thief. Oloshi ole buruku
Re: My Fiance Cheated And Has A Child. What Do I Do? by cococandy(f): 7:36pm On Jan 31, 2016
Don't marry him.
You'll regret it.
Yes maybe you guys agreed you'll get married if he sponsors your education but he's ruined the arrangement with his own hands.
Nobody sent him to cheat
And nobody asked him to deny the child that came from it. Shows he's not husband material.
Move on jare.

1 Like

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