Hello guys, it’s Feature Friday! Every Friday I would be sharing a real life experience and situation of a reader who needs my opinion. If you have a situation that you need my opinion on, email me on featurefriday@alocovivavoce.com.

Read the situation and my opinion below. The names have been changed to protect the identity of the person being featured. Enjoy!

Hello OUR,

My name is Elvina and I am engaged to the man of my dreams. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man and he treats me so well that I need not ask for more. The only problem I have with him are his Facebook uploads.

Not just once or twice but at least once EVERYDAY, my fiance uploads pictures and memes where he is professing his undying love for his mother. Some of them read “I will love ONLY my mother till the end of time”, “No woman can ever take the place of my mother”, “I can never love a woman the way I love my mum” and so many others.

Click on the link below to continue reading

http://alocovivavoce.com/2016/02/05/he-says-he-can-never-love-me-the-way-he-loves-his-mum-help-2/

ok

Not just once or twice but at least once EVERYDAY, my fiance uploads pictures and memes where he is professing his undying love for his mother. Some of them read “I will love ONLY my mother till the end of time”, “No woman can ever take the place of my mother”, “I can never love a woman the way I love my mum” and so many others.

As much as I love a man that shows his mother continuous love and affection, isn’t this a bit too much? Isn’t it a bit scary that my fiance is posting pictures that says “I can never love a woman the way I love my mum”? What about me – his wife to be?

This clearly means that he could never love me as much as he loves his mum and he could never love our daughter (when we have one) as much as he loves his mum. Isn’t this something to be worried about? The fact that I would always be second in his life after his mum of course?

Every time I see those uploads, I constantly worry and I have not been able to summon the courage to ask him about it because for someone who loves his mum that much, I would hate to present myself as the enemy for suggesting that he should include his wife in the list of those he loves the most.

But then again, if he needs to be told to include his wife then maybe there’s no point after all.

Please advice me OUR. I need to know that I’m not crazy for thinking his uploads are a bit too much for someone that is engaged to a woman he supposedly loves. Tell me what you think OUR. Am I really crazy?

REPLY:

WOW! As I was reading your story Elvina, I couldn’t get past the “I will love ONLY my mother till the end of time”. WOW! ONLY HIS MOTHER? That’s really deep!

If I were you Elvina, I would borrow a leg from Ben Johnson and run as fast as I can. That guy spells trouble. I might be wrong but I refuse to stick around to find out.

I don’t know if you have met his mum yet but I can bet a lot of money that she wouldn’t like you and even if she did, she would be in total control of your marriage and when you try to deny her control, you would automatically become the enemy and you know whose side he is going to take when that eventually happens.

To be honest, you really need to summon up the courage to talk to him about his uploads. Ask him exactly what he means by them all and ask him where he places you in his life.

You might be surprised that there is a very reasonable explanation for all of it. Maybe he lost a bet or his account was hacked or maybe he would reiterate the posts and tell you to your face that he couldn’t even love you the way he loves his mother.

If the latter is the case then need I say more?

The ball will then be in your court. You either stick around and deal with whatever comes your way or you move and and find someone else who will treat you with as much importance (if not more) as he treats his immediate family – given that you are going to become his family as well.

I hope I have been of help. Thanks for sharing!

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PS: Words are an expression of opinion; WRITING is SPEAKING!

-OUR

Dyt:

Let the cat outta the bag

Chop knuckle

Social media. Phew.

women, always feeling insecure!
Summon the courage and ask him.
He has explanation for it. Me too ooooo, i love my mum like kilode

Would you rather he loves his mom the way he loves you.

shior women bothering there head over silly issues. A mothers love is the next thing after Gods love. Can you honestly sacrifice for him as much as a mother would. As long as he loves all of us ( his mother,his wife and children), i pray he never has a reason to choose amongst us.

Ladies hate truths and truths must be told...
The place of a wife is different and incomparable to that of a mother. Why would a wife want to be loved by her husband more than her mother in law? E gba mi ooooo

olagbemi118:
Ladies hate truths and truths must be told...
The place of a wife is different and incomparable to that of a mother. Why would a wife want to be loved by her husband more than her mother in law? E gba mi ooooo

Hmmm I am currently separted from my husband awaiting divorce but I pray it doesnt get to that. I took mine likely. When my fiance will say his mum his is all. Some how she had total control of the marriage when it comes to issue surrounding me but her son, she wouldn't put an eye on the things he does. Learnt the hard hard way.

kweenkong:
Would you rather he loves his mom the way he loves you.

shior women bothering there head over silly issues. A mothers love is the next thing after Gods love. Can you honestly sacrifice for him as much as a mother would. As long as he loves all of us ( his mother,his wife and children), i pray he never has a reason to choose amongst us.

Risking your life to bear his child. You have to shuttle between work, familybn church and most times when the man is down financially, she supports. In sickness she will run up n down with him. Alot sacrifices as well.

cionon:


Hmmm I am currently separted from my husband awaiting divorce but I pray it doesnt get to that. I took mine likely. When my fiance will say his mum his is all. Some how she had total control of the marriage when it comes to issue surrounding me but her son, she wouldn't put an eye on the things he does. Learnt the hard hard way.

The great restorer will restore ur marriage

cionon:


Risking your life to bear his child. You have to shuttle between work, familybn church and most times when the man is down financially, she supports. In sickness she will run up n down with him. Alot sacrifices as well.

You mean your child, that is not a sacrifice.
he does the same thing for you too
he supports u when you are down too
you would expect him to do same if you were sick

Na wa o, madam all u have quoted is no biggie and it shows you have no idea of what marriage is . when you love someone you just want to give and give to that person not count how many you have done for him.

i still maintain that a mothers love is one of the greatest thing ever. we as human beings can compartmentalize our love , i want my husband to love his mom so he can appreciate why his children loves me more or shows it more. stop dragging with his mom and show both of them love , a mother can never leave the side of a child but a spouse can.

I pray God restores your marriage, marriage is never a competition on who has the biggest balls.

Why is the woman in question bothered? Doesn't she have a mother as well? Let her shower love and care for her mum too more than she does for her husband and let her mum have all the say in their marriage. . The man will feel good right?

Mummy's boy that refuse to grow up.. the Bible also says that a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife! !

Op, i can't marry such a man because before he does anything in the family, he seeks the consent of his mum.. and will report you to his mum at any slightest argument. . Can't deal.. the man needs to grow up!

Showing love to a mother is different from being a mummy's boy.. the latter is immaturity!

You never can say or know what his mother went through for him to be and still be alive, maybe when he tells you, you will relate with the feelings. So, don't be nervous yet.

My advice, be a good wife to your husband and a good mother to your kids and by the time you hear your kids telling their spouses the same, you will understand better.
Moreso,loving his mother does not mean you're not also loved.
Peace!

kweenkong:



You mean your child, that is not a sacrifice.
he does the same thing for you too
he supports u when you are down too
you would expect him to do same if you were sick

Na wa o, madam all u have quoted is no biggie and it shows you have no idea of what marriage is . when you love someone you just want to give and give to that person not count how many you have done for him.

i still maintain that a mothers love is one of the greatest thing ever. we as human beings can compartmentalize our love , i want my husband to love his mom so he can appreciate why his children loves me more or shows it more. stop dragging with his mom and show both of them love , a mother can never leave the side of a child but a spouse can.

I pray God restores your marriage, marriage is never a competition on who has the biggest balls.

Like I said I was never in competition with anyone. If you read my post well you will see where I said I ignore when he told me his mum was his all. Not until I got into d marriage and started seeing tins for my self. And you don't know d degree of love i showed her so u not. U never know where d shoe hurt till you were it. Ciao.

olagbemi118:
The great restorer will restore ur marriage

Amen

Simple. You have never sacrificed the way his mom did.