Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by piphunter(m): 9:47am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Dont do it bro. Nothing is worth doing that for |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by missKiffy(f): 9:47am On Feb 13, 2016 |
For me, I think you just have to move on with ur life since she said she has made her decision, it's obvious she wants a better life compared to what you can offer, but honestly is dat the kind of woman you want, who wouldn't understand ur predicament BT rather jump to the next available man and I see u keep making excuses. Let her be and move on with ur life |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by orobs93(m): 9:48am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Hi 3 Likes |
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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Aplaudez(m): 9:48am On Feb 13, 2016 |
You guys are not meant to be together! Keep working hard, and the right one will locate you! Cheer up bro! |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by lordmagic(m): 9:49am On Feb 13, 2016 |
As a prophet I can tell u dat she has not been faithful to u all dos yrs! 3 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by loomer: 9:49am On Feb 13, 2016 |
So na woman wan make u kill urself? If I stop u na me know. I fit supply u with rat poison.
You get good health, 2hands, 2eyes, everything some people dey pray to have and u wan kill urself. I beg go ahead. 8 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Topsyvic(f): 9:50am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Hmmm!7 gud year..I can feel ur pain dear buh jst try to forget abt her..within her or without her,lyf goes on.
We ladies re sumhow scaring. |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Owliver(m): 9:50am On Feb 13, 2016 |
just like i always say. there's nothing like love"
its just selfish interest which is applicable to every human
you don't have what she(her selfish interest) wants and she moved on.
get over it 4 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by DonTim1: 9:50am On Feb 13, 2016 |
That girl just needed a reason to spend valentine with someone else, you lost her the moment she started seeing someone else behind you, forget the years gone, women seek marriage more than men, in fact in Nigeria here, it's a goal! She could have married you irrespective of her background of "want", a woman who wants to be with you will Damn the consequences and do so.
She probably met a new guy at the work place which you got for her and she is carried away by the initial gra gra.
you are better off Bro, very better without her 6 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by oodua1stson: 9:51am On Feb 13, 2016 |
So why are you unhappy? If I were you I would be happy.
I've seen working ladies who stick to their men when they were jobless and now the tori don change. S9 what's wrong with her? It's not as if you're entirely jobless.
Please I beg you. She has never been faithful to you. She has been kpanshing another guy behind your back, it is only now that she has the spine to tell you she's moving on
Let her move on forever and you'll end up happier. 5 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by oodua1stson: 9:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
And pls, for the sake of yourself, parents and all the men in the world over; stop begging her. How do you intend to relate with someone you begged into staying with you? What kind of fxcked up marriage do you want to have with her? Let her to forever. I'll advise you burn bridges with her so you can focus on your life
I know a man who actually married a lady who later left him because he's broke. Today the man is 100 tines better than the man she ran to. And you know what? The fxcked up lady has been sent packing by the man he ran to
Dust yourself up and be a man for once. She could even be the source of bad luck in your life and why you couldn't get a better job
Grow a pair of steel 9 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by sharonorg: 9:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Hi I will try not to Judge you but your first mistake was living together while you were not married. She knows everything about you already and nothing to discover in Marriage. Marriage is about discovery getting to know your spouse everyday, it's what keeps marriage moving.My advise is to pray and let her go, try and improve yrself (Job, business etc),and fully commit all to God's hand and he will guide and lead you.Tell him to take away your pain and bro you can't take what you can't create.Its well with you. 4 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Bgorgeous: 9:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Cry your heart out its good for your situation but suicide? Noooooooooo it will take some time but you will pull through. Trust me, don't even hate God will see you through |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by ogawisdom(m): 9:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Decker: Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back. To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?
The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with, is the best person out there, but that's not true. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes. So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find a right girl who really deserves you. U ve a job of 40k n she calls u jobless, meanwhile u got her 80k job. By d way hw come u got her a good paying job n can't get one for urself ![embarassed](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/embarassed.png) Advice: move on n sort ur end first b4 talking abt marriage. D girl is not really as good as u painted her, its jst dt u r blinded by love. She thinks a combined income of 120k can't start a family ![](/faces/huh.png) She is ahead of u in d dating game n has moved on, learn ur lessons n move on too. If I hear suicide again ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) d kind slap way I go give u will surely reboot ur brains 7 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by eendada: 9:55am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Bro, i suggest you focus on getting a good job for now. if your girl really likes you, am sure you will stay. Never think of killing yourself. you didnt create yourself. Dont let your heart over rule your head. |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 9:56am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Dreamflyin: OP, thanks a lot for being honest about her. Some dudes will start off by painting her up as unfaithful and all. Thanks Op. You're on the good path. Thanks again. She loves you, no doubt about that, but sometimes, life throws things in our path that even the strongest emotion can't withstand. She's gone, but she's still there. Don't hate her. She did her bit. Dust yourself up. It's hard, and I wouldn't claim to know how you feel, or understand your feelings. If you commits suicide, you lost. You lost her, and the world/life defeated you. She always loved you and will still do, but if she grew up in want, that phobia will always get her apprehensive of the future. She wants better for her kids. I'm not God to tell you that a job is on the way and make you feel good, but you'll be a better man if you pull through this. Best of luck, bro. I'm in deep sorrow with you. God keep you. even if we all insult her, it changes nothing and everyone has the right to leave or stay. But you said she loves him and will still do. I disagree. She loved him, but stopped at one time and doesnt anymore. She was earning less and the guy was struggling and meeting all their needs. As soon as she gets a better paying job, shenow remembers her phobia and abandons him. Remember thay have been together for 7 good years. Where is the part about seeing how hardworking and good this guy is. Why cant she support him and even get him a better job tru her connection as she now earns better. My opinion is that she now earns big and sees herself in a different class and doesnt wanna roll with a "poor" guy. Its so unfortunate Op the only solution is to move on. Keep working smart and hard. And please be careful when she comes back, cos she may come back after being hurt by the other guy and dont be tempted to rush back to her 4 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by iffydave: 9:56am On Feb 13, 2016 |
[size=18pt] Be strong enough to love after you’ve been hurt, but smart enough to guard your heart and be careful of whom you let in it. [/size] 3 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by ecosanders: 9:57am On Feb 13, 2016 |
this bitches aint loyal at all, am currently in d same mess, though mine was just a year old before she start misbehaving, am seriously hurt right now, but i have to move on, i cant just imagine what i have not done for dis bitch, school fees, accommodation, laptops, phones family expenses etc..
its now she know her boyfriend in abroad have return.
dont kill urself o, she is not worth it. 4 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by femifemo123: 9:57am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting: Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.
I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.
After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.
Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.
This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.
She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.
Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit. Pls help a brother.
pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.
P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.
Get money my nigga! Girls will come! 1 Like |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by oodua1stson: 9:57am On Feb 13, 2016 |
I wish I could have you around me ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) Get a hobby man...it's not the end of the world. Once you're over that b1tch(yes she's a b1tch) you'll realise you're happier 1 Like |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by midehi2(f): 9:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
@ Decker, God bless you with your words, thats just it, i really saw tears in my eyes reading this thread....what i do tell people is 'Destiny, the op should believe they are not meant to be, if not i see no reason she will just dump a 7yrs relationship just because of finance, one thing she dont know is 'the rich guy she accepted today might become poor tomorow while he will rise from scratch to stardom, thats just life.
i really feel for the op
*deep sigh* 1 Like |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by xxgig(m): 9:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Op, I don't have any advice for you, but this is for her. "One often finds his destiny in the path he takes to avoid it" from kung fu panda 1 2 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by AdeMoss: 9:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Mr. Hurting, I will list things you need to know 1. Never allow anyone place conditions in your relationship 2. No one is indispensable 3. She is sleeping with the other man 4. She did not make up her mind to dump you last week. 5. She only had the courage to tell you last week 6. You need to focus on yourself 7.Killing yourself will not make her regret dumping you, getting married, and having kids 8. You story will be on Nairaland and people will comment "stupid man 9. Be with someone that will add value to you 10. Officially date your side chic, I am sure you have one 7 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by freecocoa(f): 9:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Having loved someone so selflessly myself, I can understand how you feel OP but you just have to understand that this lady doesn't love you as much as you love her, neither does she believe you can make it, therefore, why kill yourself over someone who doesn't think you good enough? I would've called you stup1d for even entertaining such thoughts but then, we are all human with a tendency to be weak, even in times when we should be strong so OP, I know it's not easy to just let got, but you need to love yourself more now.
Don't relent at looking/working to be better financially and believe me, it gets better eventually.
Never forget that, anyone who isn't willing to love you the way you love them, is not the one. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by freshkid144: 9:58am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Decker: Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back. To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?
The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes. So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you. |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by flokii: 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
2sex: the emboldened is where many of them fail to reason or see things differently they'd readily pick comfort & wealth over 'genuine feeling' or Love.. I wouldn't blink tho.. to hell with her buh 7yrs investment gone is not easy o... make we dey honest 1 Like |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting: Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.
I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.
After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.
Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.
This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.
She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.
Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit. Pls help a brother.
pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.
P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.
Bros, i've been there too I have that girl during our schook days, suddenly she started acting funny nd she later tokd me her pastor said we aint good for each oda. I got miserable for more than 2mnts. I tried begging her, went into fasting nd prayers, sir, she even went farer to me. Not until one day i decided to stop crying and moved on. I wasnt calling her and even snubbed her anytime i meet her. Meanwhile, i got to understand that she is going out with a guy. I can boldly say this to you today sir. She is begging to come back . ( sorry to say this, she is even asking me to reopen her shop for her) This is someone i used my schoik fees to pay hers when we were in school. I nearly missed exams that year if not for God. And here i am today, im with a woman that cherish me and love me. Helped me travel on tour whenever i want to. She is all i can hope of. She is my life. And Damiloka is dere begging me to come back nd open her shop again. Think straight bro. U are better than that. She is just a story in your life, let her not determine your life. Sorry, but u need to hear ds. She is not straight with u, u might have problems if you finally decide to marry her in the future. She would go infidel at tge slightest opportunity. Im sure, God is cooking something delicious for u. He never fails and yes your wife commeth soon. Be wise. 5 Likes |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by freshkid144: 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Decker: Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back. To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?
The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes. So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you. I like ds guy |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by makabulchi(m): 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
Decker: Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back. To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?
The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes. So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you. Best advice so far.... 1 Like |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
midehi2: @ Decker, God bless you with your words, thats just it, i really saw tears in my eyes reading this thread....
Thanks. |
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by readerson(m): 9:59am On Feb 13, 2016 |
hurting: Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.
I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.
After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.
Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.
This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.
She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.
Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit. Pls help a brother.
pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.
P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.
my brother, nobody is worth dying for. You have FULL life ahead of you. kill your fears and face tomorrow. she's gone and nothing would bring her back. I was once there but I've moved on by God's grace. I'm happier than before because I'm not living for anyone rather for God. May the peace of God be with you. |