Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much - Family (3)

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Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 6:44pm On Mar 09, 2016

tiwiex:
Who can satisfieth a woman? Job no dey, na lazy man. The man dey move up, na relocation man. You have your papers now and well grounded in the US, you can make mouth na. Seems u had this planned a long time ago. Let her make her choice. Her reason is not due to the relocation IMO. Just an excuse. I smeel a rat.

You can see what i saw bro.
She don get a boo there grin

Lol! Even ur boo get a boo! Eh! Ehh!

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by banmee(m): 6:48pm On Mar 09, 2016

eyinjuege:

It's actually selfish of the man uprooting his family over and over again.

What of the children?
Having to start the whole process of making new friends and forming new attachments over and over again? I think it affects kids psychologically.

Everyone needs stability in their lives, especially at a young age.

Your friend should learn that money isn't everything.

Didn't you notice the movements were vertical movements of progression rather than lateral stagnant movements?

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by byvan03: 6:51pm On Mar 09, 2016

BigElEddy:

I am a pile of crap!

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by danot1030: 6:55pm On Mar 09, 2016

This man should beg the woman otherwise he will lose her or get his life stock.

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by SassyGee(f): 6:56pm On Mar 09, 2016

einsteino:
This is one of the reasons why I have been single for a while. If you are ambitious, you would know how much of a stumbling block marriage and serious relationships are. I cherish the freedom of being able to leave for space the very next second, if thats the next goal to conquer.

I have no advice for this couple cos either ways one person would get hurt.. If the husby compromises he would see his wife as "his enemy of progress", if the wife does she would see the husby as the reason why she never amounted to anything more than his wife.

My advice is rather to young men like myself and ladies. Love is a great feeling but hey it isnt as important as compatibility. Know your partner well, be sure you fit into each others plans well. To yall accusing the husby of being selfish, there is nothing wrong with what the husby is doing, the prob is his kind of wife is equally ambitious. some ladies I know would give an arm and a foot to shuttle from city to city with a husby that is successful, some wouldnt mind being full time housewives so long as the money is rolling in. His only sin is not choosing a wife that fits into his plans... The wife also has every right to be ambitious, I love ambitious women... But she too never reached any agreement on what next after wedding.

For guys especially, make sure u achieve the fundamental goals first before talking about marriage. If at all you are in a hurry to wed a gal cos u love her too much to risk losing her, endeavour to point out to her your plans. I have fallen in love countless times but when I look at my plans and see the person wouldnt fit in or the love of my life came prematurely, my brain overrules my heart. Fear not, the heart would always find someone else to love, that is its specialty.

Bros, your own strong o....brain always overruling heart. You sure say those things wey you been feel na love?

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 6:58pm On Mar 09, 2016

duduade:
Abeg I have a sister I can hook that your friend up with...

You are funny dudu

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by chijen(f): 6:58pm On Mar 09, 2016

U don't know what u av until u lose it. The woman should be grateful to God for the type of husband she has, at least he is moving with the family not alone. Has she ever thought of living apart and another woman coming into the pics with kids for the man or the man been lazy or not family minded thereby chasing other women and Contacting std? The woman should take a chill pill and continue moving with the man. At worst, acquire a skill or work out ur differences. Marriage is all about sacrifice, compromise, understanding, communication and forgiveness. Ur decisions to divorce him on the basis of job relocation is baseless. Come to naija and see the nos of matured single women. It's not as of he is cheating on u or beating u. I pity u if u divorce him for such a flimsy reason. Think of ur children too. Abeg hubby, if she still divorces u, come to naija, plenty women are available in different shapes, Categories and beliefs.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by house5: 6:59pm On Mar 09, 2016

Is this man the same Ajala travels all over the world by Evangelist Ebenezer Obey

Just wondering.....Oga o!

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Excuzeme: 7:02pm On Mar 09, 2016

igbobuigbo:
A friend is in the situation described below:

Lived in Lagos until 2006
Got married in 2005 in Owerri.
Moved wife from Owerri (she was working there) to Lagos in 2005.
Moved wife from Lagos to Holland (2006-2008). He was studying for MSc; she could not work
Moved wife from Holland to UK (2008 - 2012). Obtained his PhD while wife did some okay paying, although not so great jobs.
Moved wife from UK to Minnesota, USA (he got a job with a sponsored H1 Visa) in 2012; but wife could not work with her H4 visa
Became a Green Card holder with wife in 2014. Wife started working and settling down in Minnesota.
Then he goes for a bigger job in Pennsylvania; moves wife along to Pittsburgh in 2015. Wife took several months to get a job because she is not as educationally advanced as hubby.
Now he wants to move to Washington, DC, for even a much bigger job. Wife says ''no way. This is becoming crazy. I have a life too''. I'd rather divorce than move this time''.

What do you think he should do?

If you notice, as long as "she did not work"........everything was Okay! (Money certainly was not the problem here).

So, the Hubby should make her two offers:

1.) Husband resign while wife works (at her current location) but she must ensure that the TOTAL INCOME to the Family does not drop below what it is currently

2.) She resigns while husband pays her exactly what she earns in current job, move with husband to Washington DC

Otherwise, may she carry her load commot.

But seriously, l tell you, when a woman starts giving her husband such impossible conditions, be sure she has everything worked out to her advantage!
She is already GONE,.... just waiting to collect the Divorce pay-check.

Probably already shagging some neighbour in that neighbourhood.
Plan-B activated

3 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by onoja12: 7:03pm On Mar 09, 2016

shut up,a mans duty is to provide for his family,a womans duty is to make the home.as long as the man is moving so that the life of his family can be better,the woman is a greedy selfish idiot.she just one collect money so she better divorce and stop hiding under who is selfish.if he was a brooks ass the same woman would be here shouting you are not a man,you are useless.now he is providing the new problem is that he is moving too much.am quite sorry for men who try to please women.

eyinjuege:

It's actually selfish of the man uprooting his family over and over again.

What of the children?
Having to start the whole process of making new friends and forming new attachments over and over again? I think it affects kids psychologically.

Everyone needs stability in their lives, especially at a young age.

Your friend should learn that money isn't everything.

2 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Tloc(m): 7:11pm On Mar 09, 2016

I guess if your friend gets a better job on Mars he wld relocate too. Abi? He should consider d stabilty and rounded development of his children if he doesn't consider that of his wife. Money and career isn't everything, he should be consider settling in a permanent city. His wife is a very considerate and patient woman whose life stood still for the growth of the husbands. My one kobo advice.

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by ojsenior: 7:11pm On Mar 09, 2016

The problem is not with man relocating, the problem is the wife's lost income while the man is relocating trying to better himself and his family.I believe if the husband is responsible, their should not be a problem. The woman should worry less about the guy making all the 6figures($$$$).
Ebenezer Obey, says, you can't never satisfy a human being.
Scenario 1: If the man had left the woman in Nigeria and go over the world adding value to himself. There may be problem as result of distant relationship(marriage) and infidelity which may lead to divorce.
Scenario 2: Let the man move alone to DC and I may promise you, the man is gone.I have friends in DC looking for a hard working Nigerian guy. They can cook and clean and ready to move with him.
You knew about his ambition before you married him. What will you tell your children in the future that you left their father because he is hardworking , trying to make money so that they can live better.

Let me tell you a personal story. I know a couple that married each other after their studies in UI 15 years ago. The husband got a job in the north after service while the wife was staying in lagos working. The man went to Belgium spent 2 years while the wife for for her master in UK,later in 2008 he travelled to US alone, spend two years. After he came back, the wife moved to the north with him. In 2013, he travelled to USA, while this time the wife travelled with him after 6 months.. They have 4 children. He is going to Nigeria next year for 2 years while the wife stays back. He is a very good man providing for his family while the wife with all her education has not be making money as she should. Should the wife divorce the man for being hardworking and ambitious? No.
Pls do not attack me, this is a reality, Thanks

****some Nigeria women believe that once they have papers and a job(money), the rule that binds a woman before cease to hold. Pls if you know you are selfish and can not sacrifice, stay single. The sacrifice is not you leaving your ex yahoo boy friend for me oooo, but putting about your family before yourself

3 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Excuzeme: 7:11pm On Mar 09, 2016

chisco82:

Best coment so far from a lady. Others are shouting selfish, selfish instaed of offering solution.
Kudos to you dear.

Probably the woman has gotten a boyfriend at the neighbourhood that she can't afford leaving behind, she want to start new life with the new guy with the cash from the money she will get from the husband.
Mtchew. No one should quote me oo.
Make she come live for naija naa.

I go quote you o!

That same thought crossed my mind! grin

I say "BEWARE" once your wife starts giving you "impossible conditions"! undecided

Levels don change be that! wink

2 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by justmenoni: 7:12pm On Mar 09, 2016

Tell ur wife to relax and divorce u if u move over to australia or asia

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by eyinjuege: 7:14pm On Mar 09, 2016

onoja12:
shut up,a mans duty is to provide for his family,a womans duty is to make the home.as long as the man is moving so that the life of his family can be better,the woman is a greedy selfish idiot.she just one collect money so she better divorce and stop hiding under who is selfish.if he was a brooks ass the same woman would be here shouting you are not a man,you are useless.now he is providing the new problem is that he is moving too much.am quite sorry for men who try to please women.

With your very irresponsible unaggravated abusive response to a discussion, I can just see that your primary care givers as a child failed woefully in their responsibility of instilling social skills, etiquette towards you.

Was it possible you moved about a lot as a child? Difficult period for you forming friendships and forming appropriate social skills?

It's such a pity, but all hope shouldn't be lost on you just yet. It's never too late.

2 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Excuzeme: 7:14pm On Mar 09, 2016

einsteino:
This is one of the reasons why I have been single for a while. If you are ambitious, you would know how much of a stumbling block marriage and serious relationships can be. I cherish the freedom of being able to leave for space the very next second, if thats the next goal to conquer.

I have no advice for this couple cos either ways one person would get hurt.. If the husby compromises he would see his wife as "his enemy of progress", if the wife does she would see the husby as the reason why she never amounted to anything more than his wife.

My advice is rather to young men like myself and ladies. Love is a great feeling but hey it isnt as important as compatibility. Know your partner well, be sure you fit into each others plans well. To yall accusing the husby of being selfish, there is nothing wrong with what the husby is doing, the prob is his kind of wife is equally ambitious. some ladies I know would give an arm and a foot to shuttle from city to city with a husby that is successful, some wouldnt mind being full time housewives so long as the money is rolling in. His only sin is not choosing a wife that fits into his plans... The wife also has every right to be ambitious, I love ambitious women... But she too never reached any agreement on what next after wedding.

For guys especially, make sure u achieve the fundamental goals first before talking about marriage. If at all you are in a hurry to wed a gal cos u love her too much to risk losing her, endeavour to point out to her your plans. I have fallen in love countless times but when I look at my plans and see the person wouldnt fit in or the love of my life came prematurely, my brain overrules my heart. Fear not, the heart would always find someone else to love, that is its specialty.

Nothing to add!

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by sleekdot(m): 7:29pm On Mar 09, 2016

OP.

Ask the wife if she would return the green card and move to owerri where she started

Dont be deceived, this is a well planned scheme. Why she no complain when dem dey Naija or when she no get Green card and was on H4

She dey wait to get the thing she needed

Abeg give her the dicorce and revoke the green card before she becomes a citizen. The kids are US citizens they can always come in anytime

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by GoodFaith: 8:02pm On Mar 09, 2016

Is there a different between the salary in Pennsylvania and DC?
What is the difference?
The cost of the same house in Pennsylvania for $250,000 might be $450,000 in DC area
Cost of live in DC is more than Pennsylvania
The belt way is not cheap
Beltway ---Maryland, DC and Virginia

2 Likes

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by glossy6(f): 8:03pm On Mar 09, 2016

TheArchangel:

Thank God for cyberspace/internet and its anonymous friends and enemies.

lmao

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 8:08pm On Mar 09, 2016

As husband and wife, they should be able to make sacrifices for each other.

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by GoodFaith: 8:11pm On Mar 09, 2016

Might make more income in Dc area but the cost of living
will consumer the new increase
Beltway area people making $60k have room mate

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 8:25pm On Mar 09, 2016

Excuzeme:

I go quote you o!

That same thought crossed my mind!

I say "BEWARE" once your wife starts giving you "impossible conditions"!
Levels don change be that!

Lol! Odikwa vely lisky oo!
Imagine, the only option for her was divorce and some ladies are here talking trash.

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 8:38pm On Mar 09, 2016

igbobuigbo:
A friend is in the situation described below:

Lived in Lagos until 2006
Got married in 2005 in Owerri.
Moved wife from Owerri (she was working there) to Lagos in 2005.
Moved wife from Lagos to Holland (2006-2008). He was studying for MSc; she could not work
Moved wife from Holland to UK (2008 - 2012). Obtained his PhD while wife did some okay paying, although not so great jobs.
Moved wife from UK to Minnesota, USA (he got a job with a sponsored H1 Visa) in 2012; but wife could not work with her H4 visa
Became a Green Card holder with wife in 2014. Wife started working and settling down in Minnesota.
Then he goes for a bigger job in Pennsylvania; moves wife along to Pittsburgh in 2015. Wife took several months to get a job because she is not as educationally advanced as hubby.
Now he wants to move to Washington, DC, for even a much bigger job. Wife says ''no way. This is becoming crazy. I have a life too''. I'd rather divorce than move this time''.

What do you think he should do?

, first of all make sure that you make thing right and get back to your loving mode, assure her everything will be alright and that you have decided to leave her and the children here while you commute between d.c and minesota to see them. Go to Washington and remain loving with through phone and visits, after a while reduce visits ,phone calls at night and start acting misterious, she is bound to miss you and your presence at home and everything you guys have together while together . She will be the one to pack up the kids and insist on going with you even to the end of the earth.i have seen it happen to men that move around alot without their family, the wife will pack and lay in wait for man,insisting on going with them,no amount of begging from the man ,all promises of of gradual relocation usually fall on deaf . Those women know the ache of being married and living single, let your wife feel it too, she go no say kaki no be leather.

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Elektra008(f): 8:42pm On Mar 09, 2016

Don't fall in love with a dreamer, cos he'll always take his leave, just when you you think you've really changed it, he'll leave you again

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Hafyz23(m): 8:43pm On Mar 09, 2016

I think relocating is still better than divorcing,for children's sake.

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by GoodFaith: 8:45pm On Mar 09, 2016

tochimas:
, first of all make sure that you make thing right and get back to your loving mode, assure her everything will be alright and that you have decided to leave her and the children here while you commute between d.c and minesota to see them. Go to Washington and remain loving with through phone and visits, after a while reduce visits ,phone calls at night and start acting misterious, she is bound to miss you and your presence at home and everything you guys have together while together . She will be the one to pack up the kids and insist on going with you even to the end of the earth.i have seen it happen to men that move around alot without their family, the wife will pack and lay in wait for man,insisting on going with them,no amount of begging from the man ,all promises of of gradual relocation usually fall on deaf . Those women know the ache of being married and living single, let your wife feel it too, she go no say kaki no be leather.

Bad Lady-- love ur comment

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Yteflon(m): 8:52pm On Mar 09, 2016

einsteino:
This is one of the reasons why I have been single for a while. If you are ambitious, you would know how much of a stumbling block marriage and serious relationships can be. I cherish the freedom of being able to leave for space the very next second, if thats the next goal to conquer.

I have no advice for this couple cos either ways one person would get hurt.. If the husby compromises he would see his wife as "his enemy of progress", if the wife does she would see the husby as the reason why she never amounted to anything more than his wife.

My advice is rather to young men like myself and ladies. Love is a great feeling but hey it isnt as important as compatibility. Know your partner well, be sure you fit into each others plans well. To yall accusing the husby of being selfish, there is nothing wrong with what the husby is doing, the prob is his kind of wife is equally ambitious. some ladies I know would give an arm and a foot to shuttle from city to city with a husby that is successful, some wouldnt mind being full time housewives so long as the money is rolling in. His only sin is not choosing a wife that fits into his plans... The wife also has every right to be ambitious, I love ambitious women... But she too never reached any agreement on what next after wedding.

For guys especially, make sure u achieve the fundamental goals first before talking about marriage. If at all you are in a hurry to wed a gal cos u love her too much to risk losing her, endeavour to point out to her your plans. I have fallen in love countless times but when I look at my plans and see the person wouldnt fit in or the love of my life came prematurely, my brain overrules my heart. Fear not, the heart would always find someone else to love, that is its specialty.

bros... Why u get sense like dis Na??!!
Na pple lyk u God create on sunday.. He calm down dash u confirm brain... D other posters commenting here are just reasoning randomly Wit no consideration but 4 their mind don as dey don spit small grammar.. Dey don giv advise b dat..

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by iWrite4People: 9:01pm On Mar 09, 2016

This situation is so confounding, but you made a lot of sense with your post.

einsteino:
This is one of the reasons why I have been single for a while. If you are ambitious, you would know how much of a stumbling block marriage and serious relationships can be. I cherish the freedom of being able to leave for space the very next second, if thats the next goal to conquer.

I have no advice for this couple cos either ways one person would get hurt.. If the husby compromises he would see his wife as "his enemy of progress", if the wife does she would see the husby as the reason why she never amounted to anything more than his wife.

My advice is rather to young men like myself and ladies. Love is a great feeling but hey it isnt as important as compatibility. Know your partner well, be sure you fit into each others plans well. To yall accusing the husby of being selfish, there is nothing wrong with what the husby is doing, the prob is his kind of wife is equally ambitious. some ladies I know would give an arm and a foot to shuttle from city to city with a husby that is successful, some wouldnt mind being full time housewives so long as the money is rolling in. His only sin is not choosing a wife that fits into his plans... The wife also has every right to be ambitious, I love ambitious women... But she too never reached any agreement on what next after wedding.

For guys especially, make sure u achieve the fundamental goals first before talking about marriage. If at all you are in a hurry to wed a gal cos u love her too much to risk losing her, endeavour to point out to her your plans. I have fallen in love countless times but when I look at my plans and see the person wouldnt fit in or the love of my life came prematurely, my brain overrules my heart. Fear not, the heart would always find someone else to love, that is its specialty.

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by thelish(f): 9:05pm On Mar 09, 2016

zigalo:
This is a good problem

exactly. na all this kind problem I dey find oooo.

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by Nobody: 9:21pm On Mar 09, 2016

GoodFaith:

Bad Lady-- love ur comment

on a serious note,I have seen it countless times, never seen a wife that refused to move with hubby, yes we might murmur of the inconveniences and all that but we still chose to move together given the alternative of staying behind while he move. My uncle worked with a commercial bank in those days and the wife was a teacher in a government sch, they were moving from west to north to east, everywhere till they landed in Anambra which is our home town. He spent few years there and the.wife settled in her teaching job.he was transfered to lag again. He went alone to secure accommodation and other things, a year after he is still giving different story to the wife, anyways, he came on his usual visit and the wife has a surprise for him. When the weekend was over and it was time to go, the wife was busy stuffing the booth with her bags and that of the kids, my grandparents begged, everybody but for where, they are going where he goes, nothing was done about it oh, na so the take join daddy. They ate mama put for a few days before fully buying the utensils they needed to make a home.

1 Like

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by blackprowler: 9:22pm On Mar 09, 2016

igbobuigbo:
A friend is in the situation described below:

Lived in Lagos until 2006
Got married in 2005 in Owerri.
Moved wife from Owerri (she was working there) to Lagos in 2005.
Moved wife from Lagos to Holland (2006-2008). He was studying for MSc; she could not work
Moved wife from Holland to UK (2008 - 2012). Obtained his PhD while wife did some okay paying, although not so great jobs.
Moved wife from UK to Minnesota, USA (he got a job with a sponsored H1 Visa) in 2012; but wife could not work with her H4 visa
Became a Green Card holder with wife in 2014. Wife started working and settling down in Minnesota.
Then he goes for a bigger job in Pennsylvania; moves wife along to Pittsburgh in 2015. Wife took several months to get a job because she is not as educationally advanced as hubby.
Now he wants to move to Washington, DC, for even a much bigger job. Wife says ''no way. This is becoming crazy. I have a life too''. I'd rather divorce than move this time''.

What do you think he should do?

Problem caused by enjoyment. I'm not yet on that level so I won't put mouth. Let him keep looking for more money as they taught him in his native country. One day, maybe too late, he'll realise that there's much more to life than chasing money. Don't mind PSquared - dem be small boy

Re: Wife To Separate From Husband For Relocating Too Much by thelish(f): 9:28pm On Mar 09, 2016

The man should bring her back to Owerri, make we know if divorce go still hungry her.

2 Likes

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