I've had to watch someone at work. A male. He normally eats from a she food vendor who comes around, asks for his choice of meal and serves whatever he demanded. It wasn't anything to write home about as some men for whatever reason love eating out.
Now, their relationship seemingly upgraded to smile flashes. She comes with this cute smile that spells fondness and care and of course there's always a little chat which again is not my business but I caught myself wondering what the chat could be all about. I wondered if his wife will okay her bright smiles at her husband. I still wondered why he always eats lunch from a particular stranger. I tried tried fixing his Majesty in the man's shoes, nah!!! I've got me a kitchen!
So ladies, would you mind your man receiving that bright smile from a particular food vendor or will you rather pack his lunch?
Guys, I know you don't mind but what do you think?

Wen u hav a lot of ladies who can't cook nowadays, what do u expect?

Cutehector:
Wen u hav a lot of ladies who can't cook nowadays, what do u expect?

How many ladies have you eaten from?a lot?

Chidoks:

How many ladies have you eaten from?a lot?

I cook my food. Sorry.

The lesson is for ladies to know how to take care of their man..
If I leave home after a sumptuous meal everyday and ve a well packaged lunch that caresses my tongue everyday. There might be no need for an enticing food vendor

Is it true?
We have ladies who can't cook in dis century
Adonbilivit

Biko how many battle fronts does a woman have to fight over a man? Don't have maid, always cook for your husband, don't let the maid ever iron his clothes or dish his food, don't let him eat outside because he may start cheating. Look good, check his phone, dont check his phone, gym and diet forever, waist trainer till you die, learn every bedroom style as much as possible, run upandan to every church, mosque and babalawo. All this in the hope of keeping a Nigerian man.

Na wa o. Is it not easier to marry a foreigner and sleep peacefully at night, at least get a break from the constant worrying over a Nigerian man?

Man wey go catch feelings go catch feelings, even if you pound yam and make fresh ogbono soup daily and pack it in a bento box specially carved by 100 year old Japanese masters

After all, Musa Danjuma is cheating on his wife, Femi Otedola must have played away match on his yacht. And they are married to "yellow periperi" stunners, one whom I can say is a good cook and certainly must sent her man to work with lunch a couple of times.

Cutehector:
I cook my food. Sorry.

Ah! When you authouritatively said a lot of Ladies can't cook these days, I took it to mean you must have eaten from a lot of them. But since you prepare your meals; that's an assumption then, rght?

Chidoks:

Ah! When you authouritatively said a lot of Ladies can't cook these days, I took it to mean you must have eaten from a lot of them. But since you prepare your meals; that's an assumption then, rght?

it's not an assumption babe... can u cook?

[quote author=Richy4 post=43856052]OP your write ups reeks seriously as if you were green with envy over the food vendor.... Do u have a crush on that man or what?....It is ok...No judgment what so ever..... It clearly shows you got a healthy feeling [/quote
]

Envy kwa??
I love nairaland, different divergent views to one opinion but bros, will you eat consistently from one particular stranger or will you spread your tentacles?

Onegai:
Biko how many battle fronts does a woman have to fight over a man? Don't have maid, always cook for your husband, don't let the maid ever iron his clothes or dish his food, don't let him eat outside because he may start cheating. Look good, check his phone, dont check his phone, gym and diet forever, waist trainer till you die, learn every bedroom style as much as possible, run upandan to every church, mosque and babalawo. All this in the hope of keeping a Nigerian man.

Na wa o. Is it not easier to marry a foreigner and sleep peacefully at night, at least get a break from the constant worrying over a Nigerian man?

Man wey go catch feelings go catch feelings, even if you pound yam and make fresh ogbono soup daily and pack it in a bento box specially carved by 100 year old Japanese masters

After all, Musa Danjuma is cheating on his wife, Femi Otedola must have played away match on his yacht. And they are married to "yellow periperi" stunners, one whom I can say is a good cook and certainly must sent her man to work with lunch a couple of times.

To me it's about doing the right thing. It's about showing love and care.
Keeping fit is the right thing to do, packing his lunch is the right thing to do, praying for your marriage is the right thing to do.
There's a way you pamper your man that he remembers you with fondness no matter what he does. Love begets love, care begets care.
I don't compare my home with anybody's. What happened in otedola and danjuma's homes shouldn't have anything to do with mine, after all I don't have all their details.
It's not a battle per se, it's taking care of your own.

@ Onegai - I love u

@ Op - u have no clue what is going on in people's homes n u blaming the wife for ur colleague's straying eyes is quite judgemental. Or you've not heard of ppl who share their wife's well packaged lunch with their office crush?

The Super woman wife will wake up, get the kids ready n possibly head off to work n must still pack food for hubby. Yes she can, if the benefit does not exceed the stress but if the stress is too much, let hubby buy food n keep his emotions in check. Afterall if she starts looking worn out, that's another excuse for the bloke to cheat.

Mind u, cheating is not always the missus' fault.

Chidoks:

To me it's about doing the right thing. It's about showing love and care.
Keeping fit is the right thing to do, packing his lunch is the right thing to do, praying for your marriage is the right thing to do.
There's a way you pamper your man that he remembers you with fondness no matter what he does. Love begets love, care begets care.
I don't compare my home with anybody's. What happened in otedola and danjuma's homes shouldn't have anything to do with mine, after all I don't have all their details.
It's not a battle per se, it's taking care of your own.

If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

Well spoken!

ma'am i love you (no homo)
i always look out for your comments. I'm a huge fan

Chidoks:

To me it's about doing the right thing. It's about showing love and care.
Keeping fit is the right thing to do, packing his lunch is the right thing to do, praying for your marriage is the right thing to do.
There's a way you pamper your man that he remembers you with fondness no matter what he does. Love begets love, care begets care.
I don't compare my home with anybody's. What happened in otedola and danjuma's homes shouldn't have anything to do with mine, after all I don't have all their details.
It's not a battle per se, it's taking care of your own.

who told you packing lunch is the right thing to do that your man likes it doesn't make it right or that someone else doesn't park it doesn't make it wrong packing lunch is good for your hubby, but that guy in your office probably prefers to eat out instead of stressing wifey that's their own, y not focus on your home and do what you have to and stop using what you do to judge others, and who said love begets love laughs in Chinese trust me a man who will cheat will cheat you can only try but you won't stop him life is never black and white

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

nice one I like you sometimes

the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach.if i dont package my husband's food and prepare sumptous meals then who will?

op where are you going with this tale?

must people be stalked and harassed every minute of the day by your likes?

Been in the shoes of the said man before, I can relate.

There was this chick who normally comes to get my order daily, as I don't eat before leaving for work and finds it hard to take meal to the office.

It graduated to her getting my digits and calling often to know what I will eat. It extends to her coming personally to serve the food at our canteen even though it's already in a take away pack.

It equally graduated to my colleagues calling her my babe because she smiles whenever she comes to serve me and will ask about work and stuffs. I saw nothing bad about it till my colleagues pointed out that the lady is tripping.

It equally graduated to her calling my sweetie whenever she calls to take my order. That was when I lost my cool and told her enough. Warned her severely how it's bad for my image as a married man. In fact, my male colleagues were all speechless because I asked her to come and did it openly. While my female colleagues were happy especially the married ones that has been on my neck about not bringing meal to the office and my love for eating out.

Op, it depends on the up bringing of the said man, and his values. An irresponsible man would not wait for a lady food vendor to misbehave. They go all out depending on what triggers their lost

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

You're right, a good marriage is built on tough times. But I still believe you draw strength from the good times you've had to face whatever challenges fate and marriage throws at you. Perfection is difficult but striving to achieve it is paramount. Cheating men are everywhere but do we ignore pampering them because they have that tendency? I hate and despise adultary, it's the highest form of ungodliness and betrayal but what really can a good woman do other than do her best and hope for the best?
Blade21 please I'm judging no one. The piece you quoted was a reaction to another post. Different approach work for different people per time, I believe that too. I was thinking aloud, I'm judging no one for I'm very imperfect.

Gloriagee:
@ Onegai - I love u

@ Op - u have no clue what is going on in people's homes n u blaming the wife for ur colleague's straying eyes is quite judgemental. Or you've not heard of ppl who share their wife's well packaged lunch with their office crush?

The Super woman wife will wake up, get the kids ready n possibly head off to work n must still pack food for hubby. Yes she can, if the benefit does not exceed the stress but if the stress is too much, let hubby buy food n keep his emotions in check. Afterall if she starts looking worn out, that's another excuse for the bloke to cheat.

Mind u, cheating is not always the missus' fault.

Ah! Read well na. I'm not blaming the wife, I haven't accused anyone yet. I'm only wondering what his wife's reaction would be if she notices the relationship they are kind of breeding. Yes I already know, cheating is not always her fault.

corisande:


Well spoken!

ma'am i love you (no homo)
i always look out for your comments. I'm a huge fan

(Blushes) thanks

@Chidoks

No-one is saying not to care for your husband. But don't assume doing all that will keep him not cheating. It will help as a small part of building your marriage. But if you rely on all that, it will shock you to learn that he doesn't value your sacrifice the same way. Because his own idea of pampering may be an expensive gift or something else.

Example: le hubbs was out of state and his office called him to say he had to travel to another state for meetings. He had no clothes with him and his work laptop (which had some necessary programs) was in Lagos. He was already planning on flying to Lagos, rush toVI to pack and then fly out again that same day through Ikeja. I got his laptop, packed his suitcase and sent the driver to meet him at the airport, prepared and not having to rush. He sent me all sorts of kissy emoticons that day...but he wouldn't do it for any meal because he loves eating out (he reads reviews and tries the places out) and would be bored if I made up a lunchbox of what he had for dinner the night before. He may appreciate the sacrifice but won't be impressed by it. And I would be upset, because I would have expectations of him that he shouldn't have to fulfil. Then resentment will come in and oh look, there's an unnecessary fight tagging along.

He values my problem-solving ability more than waking up at 6am to pack a lunchbox. Because anyone can pack a lunchbox. Which is why a man will compare you to his maid, because you and the maid offer the exact same skill-set. When you should be different. Because wives should bring more to the table than domestic skills and yes, domestic skills are important but not the be-all and end-all.

See?

Onegai:

(Blushes) thanks
@Chidoks
No-one is saying not to care for your husband. But don't assume doing all that will keep him not cheating. It will help as a small part of building your marriage. But if you rely on all that, it will shock you to learn that he doesn't value your sacrifice the same way. Because his own idea of pampering may be an expensive gift or something else.
Example: le hubbs was out of state and his office called him to say he had to travel to another state for meetings. He had no clothes with him and his work laptop (which had some necessary programs) was in Lagos. He was already planning on flying to Lagos, rush toVI to pack and then fly out again that same day through Ikeja. I got his laptop, packed his suitcase and sent the driver to meet him at the airport, prepared and not having to rush. He sent me all sorts of kissy emoticons that day...but he wouldn't do it for any meal because he loves eating out (he reads reviews and tries the places out) and would be bored if I made up a lunchbox of what he had for dinner the night before. He may appreciate the sacrifice but won't be impressed by it. And I would be upset, because I would have expectations of him that he shouldn't have to fulfil. Then resentment will come in and oh look, there's an unnecessary fight tagging along.
He values my problem-solving ability more than waking up at 6am to pack a lunchbox. Because anyone can pack a lunchbox. Which is why a man will compare you to his maid, because you and the maid offer the exact same skill-set. When you should be different. Because wives should bring more to the table than domestic skills and yes, domestic skills are important but not the be-all and end-all.
See?

God bless you MA!

richyblink1:
Been in the shoes of the said man before, I can relate.

There was this chick who normally comes to get my order daily, as I don't eat before leaving for work and finds it hard to take meal to the office.

It graduated to her getting my digits and calling often to know what I will eat. It extends to her coming personally to serve the food at our canteen even though it's already in a take away pack.

It equally graduated to my colleagues calling her my babe because she smiles whenever she comes to serve me and will ask about work and stuffs. I saw nothing bad about it till my colleagues pointed out that the lady is tripping.

It equally graduated to her calling my sweetie whenever she calls to take my order. That was when I lost my cool and told her enough. Warned her severely how it's bad for my image as a married man. In fact, my male colleagues were all speechless because I asked her to come and did it openly. While my female colleagues were happy especially the married ones that has been on my neck about not bringing meal to the office and my love for eating out.

Op, it depends on the up bringing of the said man, and his values. An irresponsible man would not wait for a lady food vendor to misbehave. They go all out depending on what triggers their lost

Yes, it depends on what triggers their lust. But with your experience, you appreciate my observation and whatever ills that may erupt if that relationship is not checked and kept within its permitted boundaries.
That was a bold step you took there. Sometimes, it's not limited to your actions/ intentions but the way you may be read/ misread.

If cheating is not always the wife's fault, why did u suggest that if we don't pack lunch for our hubbies, it will always result in him receiving and in this case, being receptive to that bright smile from a particular food vendor?

Ok, she packs his lunch daily and he goes to the canteen to microwave it and there's a colleague smiling brightly at him, everyday, Is that also wifey's fault? If he can't stop the particular food vendor, who's to say, he'll stop his colleague from flirting with him.

For whatever it's worth, I try to prepare bfast for my spouse every morn. Now, if I'm ill, out of town , or hurt cos of his actions n don't prepare his bfast, so cheating is justified?

Chidoks:

Ah! Read well na. I'm not blaming the wife, I haven't accused anyone yet. I'm only wondering what his wife's reaction would be if she notices the relationship they are kind of breeding. Yes I already know, cheating is not always her fault.

Let a man eat where he wants to eat!!!

If a woman knows how to cook,he will always run home to eat that which is "PREPARED"
We shouldnt worry about everything in marriage.

Onegai:


(Blushes) thanks

@Chidoks

No-one is saying not to care for your husband. But don't assume doing all that will keep him not cheating. It will help as a small part of building your marriage. But if you rely on all that, it will shock you to learn that he doesn't value your sacrifice the same way. Because his own idea of pampering may be an expensive gift or something else.

Example: le hubbs was out of state and his office called him to say he had to travel to another state for meetings. He had no clothes with him and his work laptop (which had some necessary programs) was in Lagos. He was already planning on flying to Lagos, rush toVI to pack and then fly out again that same day through Ikeja. I got his laptop, packed his suitcase and sent the driver to meet him at the airport, prepared and not having to rush. He sent me all sorts of kissy emoticons that day...but he wouldn't do it for any meal because he loves eating out (he reads reviews and tries the places out) and would be bored if I made up a lunchbox of what he had for dinner the night before. He may appreciate the sacrifice but won't be impressed by it. And I would be upset, because I would have expectations of him that he shouldn't have to fulfil. Then resentment will come in and oh look, there's an unnecessary fight tagging along.

He values my problem-solving ability more than waking up at 6am to pack a lunchbox. Because anyone can pack a lunchbox. Which is why a man will compare you to his maid, because you and the maid offer the exact same skill-set. When you should be different. Because wives should bring more to the table than domestic skills and yes, domestic skills are important but not the be-all and end-all.

See?

I see. Well spoken too.
However, note that I'm not discussing the entire duty of a wife, no. I voiced an observation I made at work. Not from my kitchen. If I could work and deliver in a competitive environment and enjoy all the benefits therefrom, then contribute reasonably at home ( in all spheres) I think I contribute in proferring solutions at matters arising. In fact every working class wife has such skills though varying degrees.
My observation is limited to just a part of a wife's domestic duties. Of course, I understand that some men habitually eat out. My observation centers at the ills of eating from a particular person and not limiting it to the service rendered.

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

I wish I can buy you a drink, well said!!

This man's silly act isn't because he eats out, if it wasn't the food vendor, it could be his secretary. It's in him, even with a packed lunch, wandering eyes will always be busy.

Cutehector:
it's not an assumption babe... can u cook?

lol by making that statement "A lot of babes can't cook" and "you cook your own food", she kinda got you there

@OP
I don't see a big deal, no matter how much i might love someone's cooking there are certain ways some women cook that u can't resist, ave left from lagos to ilishan to eat from Iya Gbadun before, she sells ofada rice and it's out of the world. However the smiling and chit chat that's another entirely which i don't support. it should be business and business

They might have just been exchanging pleasantries, which is necessary for business.