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Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by TLKMama: 5:28pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@Bigfido @Modath..... As someone that have experienced in-laws issue, I think that you are judging her too harshly. We are humans and we all have our days when our patience just run out and you can be frustrated to a point where you just don't care anymore and you tell them to go hug transformers or tell them to go to hell not caring the consequences. I will NEVER STAY WITH IN-LAWS. In fact, On this missionary waka, I have an Uncle in Philly and relatives and friends that I could stay with and I choose to not stay with anybody because I am a firm believer that Fish and Guests begin to stink after 3 days. Now, there are exceptions to that rule but I would rather not find out. In-laws can be nasty believe me, down right evil sometimes and you have to fight for yourself if you want peace which is what I had to do but you learn to pick your fights and even your fight location sef. Maybe @Girlloom shouldn't have stepped to her MIL in her daughter's house but I get where she is coming from. modath: 9 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by bbaby84(f): 5:32pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
girlloom: I agree with bigfido but I still empathise with you. Its not easy being a new mom with no one in your camp. Like you said there's no excuse for bad behaviour (I love your attitude to correction) Just follow bigfido's advise to the letter. It's almost over, just hang in there. 4 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by passionantchica: 5:50pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
I wasn't aware of the traffic situation o. Hmmmm. I'll have to get info on this cos I'll actually be staying in Atl. So if getting to Cummings(Forsyth) will be an issue, it's to sit my ass in Atl jeje. Jist download the uber app, you'll find your way around the app easily. Iphie26: |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by vamum: 6:02pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
girlloom: Posted this a while ago: https://www.irs.gov/Help-%26-Resources/Tools-%26-FAQs/FAQs-for-Individuals/Frequently-Asked-Tax-Questions-%26-Answers/IRS-Procedures/Reporting-Fraud/Reporting-Fraud The link has information on finding out if your SSN has been compromised, etc. @Justwise can we please put this on the Frontpage, people need to stop taking advantage of others. So annoying when someone thinks he can play a fast one and get away with it. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by passionantchica: 6:18pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@girlloom I know it's not easy being 'alone' at a time like this. E-hugs from here.. But Please choose your battles. It's not easy at all, but whatever you can do to preserve the joy of your home, please do. It's obvious your hubs is quite attached to his family and has a very soft spot for them. So tread carefully. Whatever decision you want to make, really think about how your hubs will react to it before you proceed. Cos at the end of the day, when the chips are down, it's all about you, you alone, and your home. Be diplomatic, and be prayerful. 3 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 6:20pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
nefertitiram: It is well......how dem come know wia dollars dey exactly? 3 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by vamum: 6:45pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
justwise: Nope not in America you have from the beginning of the year, usually around mid January when companies send your W2 till April 15th to file your taxes. He could have used the ssn and i beg to differ on causing family wahala. Did he think about HIS own actions causing family wahala as well?? i guess not. the ball is in your court as vcole (i think) said if you feign ignorance trust me you are now an accomplice to tax fraud. that's up to you to decide. SSN can be used for more than tax fraud, it can be used to open accounts, work, get benefits and all that. You can virtually ruin someone with the SSN. Call social security and hear what they have to say. Not even sure it can be blocked/reissued. I think they can put alerts though. |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Popri(f): 6:51pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@girloom..Wisdom is profitable to direct First of all pray Secondly, you read so many good advices here which could be confusing at this time You know your husband well..Whatever decision that will not go down well with him at this time, pls avoid it The decision to leave or remain in your inlaw's house lies in you, decide wisely In everything, makesure you contact IRS and do the needful, also make every effort to leave Yankee ASAP, get your son an ETC 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 6:52pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Iwanawana: My dear I will blame you and you husband for what has befallen you. I cant imagine my wife's age mate asking my wife to call her aunty and I will concur to that. Secondly your husband needs to show that you matter in his life because if he puts his foot down on the issue they would have Long taken shape. The mad woman invaded you privacy and your husband asked you to apologise you came in to birth and they started stressing you and your husband kept mute. I am not the bravest person out there but for my wife that I took an oath to protect I will ensure we quarell o. But why will you stay that long my wife cant even bear to stay in Yankee for long na 4months is too much even you at some point will start to get upset. Please don't inform them of irs just flag the ssn secretly so that God can punish them. If they crawl close to using it. But in all be strong because this issue hasnt ended they will still come at you. Hian 34 yr old what's to be addressed as aunty. F**king lunatics 21 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by LadyGuinivere: 7:25pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Enizo of all the opinions so far. I align with urs 99percent. (The 1 percent na Minus the swear word ) I sincerely don't get it when men cannot be a Cover to their wives. 5 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by worry359(m): 7:29pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
LadyGuinivere: Is this where the arguments about mother or wife ruling a house start? |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 7:42pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
justwise: Cant someone assist to tip d authorities since she cant |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by vamum: 7:53pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Wow!!! Just caught up on all the drama. from stolen funds to stolen SSN. It is well! Now that i have the full context of your story girlloom, I will advice that you still go ahead and report the case to SSA and possibly IRS if the SSN was used for tax purposes. There's so much evil that can be done with one's SSN that you don't want your child involved. I watch all these Judge Judy cases and you see some children are still paying back after so many years of their parents messing up their records. If you are cash strapped, make peace with your SIL and get out of the house as soon as possible. Advise to people coming to the US try and get your own space. If you must stay with someone make sure both parties are in total agreement and you both understand the commitment it involves. Especially when it comes to in laws, make sure the invitation is coming from them and not husband volunteering on their behalf. Different characters, different backgrounds and upbringing, different country, etc. Be respectful of each other and their homes and help out as you can. Not nice for ppl to call other peoples homes "cabin" they opened up their homes to you. There have been too many horror stories of Hosts being TERRIBLE as well as the hosted being TERRIBLE. @ LeakyTribe I'm a little convinced with her story. Same thing happened to my grandma, she went to the market (nobody sent her o! cos she had a help). they followed her home, she gave them all her jewelry (even the ones she had forgotten where she hid them due to old age). Please investigate, and not sure about you keeping her in your home while that is going on. Please be careful with that before more evils happen. God will replenish you. 2 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by LadyGuinivere: 8:21pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
worry359:No its not cos its totally far from the context of the discourse... 2 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 8:28pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
vamum: The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Humans alone are quite capable of every wickedness. |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 8:33pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Enizo: |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by happytbaby: 8:38pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Biollar1 I laugh like a small radio at your advice o. Who remembers the lady that was staying in the house wey den no dey eat? The day the preggy went out and bought a few apples and ice cream, she was asked to return it, chastised like a child say dem no dey suffer. It's solid advice o but I have realised that no matter what you do, if you stay with people that don't have the God-given Grace to be accommodating, you simply can't win. Anything you do na issue. Between which, you quoted the same adage I quoted a few days earlier. I second you. Back to Girlloom, I knew they would use 'ogboju' for you. When it comes to in law issues, sometimes we have to take a lot of rubbish. I have learnt a lot in my short life and therefore before I react I always weigh the costs like I earlier asked you to do. You see it's not easy to live with people, that's why they say too much familiarity breeds contempt. Even you as a person if someone comes to stay with you for 2months you will see faults, they will inconvenience you. You have ways of doing things that your guests simply cannot comprehend. We fight with our siblings despite being brought up with the same set of values but we can't change them and we love them. Your sister in law no try at all, she not only went through your phone she had the guts to make you know. Please go apologise to her o, don't let them ' see your own to talk'. As for me o, I shall not be straining a lifetime relationship by going to stay with anyone for 2months, it's just not worth the headache, it's better to love each other from afar. biollar1: 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by jemin456: 8:48pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@ girlloom...really sorry bout your plight with your inlaws.....try your best possible to get ur tickets n leave asap....when u reach nija...sort your issues with hubby....most importantly on your knees. |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by jemin456: 9:00pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Pls i wld like to know the processing time it takes for an ETC to be ready......then any agent's name ? Or how does one go about it.....i am currently in lousiana...wld appreciate any1s response.....tx a bunch |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by customised87: 9:21pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
jemin456: Check the first page of this thread 1 Like |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Nobody: 9:22pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
jemin456:I you read back you'll see people who have used etc so you can PM them for the contact or something, nerf used etc so ask her or others who did |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Miracletwinee: 9:24pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Bia, girlloom everybody has been on this your issue since yesterday a part of me says I should advice you not to post an update on this platform anymore. You never can tell who is reading this thread and your descriptions are too vivid it's very easy to guess who you are. I think people have given you enough sincere and matured advice it's now left for you to do the needful. Somebody can know somebody that knows somebody that knows your SIL. Pls don't compound your problems you have enough to deal with already and besides its you marriage we are talking about here. Abeg e don do oooo.Come back home and warm yourself back into your DH heart. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by happytbaby: 9:24pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
My dear people, I am wondering if I am the only one that read the part where Girlloom said she is waiting for visa money as most people keep saying she should get out of the place. I noticed that one other person said she should ask her family for money though. Heirloom, please pardon my question, do you work? I have noticed men tend to behave the way your husband is behaving when you don't have your own source of income. And at the people saying what her husband should have and should have not done, please note that every marriage is very different and when people tell you what they can take or not, we all have different thresholds, you will be surprised at what some people take from their spouses. Abeg, if you are happy with your marriage aside of this in law issue, protect your home. This you can do by apologizing to all the parties concerned (it's painful I know, I will not be able to share my experiences here because it's a public forum and it's a very small world), try as much possible never to tell your husband anything wrong that his family members do (it's very hard my darling). Always say only positive things about them. One day they will misstep and it will be glaring that even though the are his people they have faults like every other person. Trust me on this, it always works but it's a game of patience. The person I blame in this current fiasco is Girloom herself, pardon my castigating you. Even without knowing the background, JW, Favoredgirl(i think) and I advocated that caution cos it's in law issue, you for give background.@Vavum, you said the man should also have thought of what this would do to the family, the man has nothing to lose o, it's her marriage that is at stake. It's unfortunate that in this part of the world, we treat wives as if our son is doing them a favour, which should not be because it's an exchange of value. The MIL issue, I can't really blame her for lashing out cos such things hurt especially when it's about our kids, but patience is endless in a Nigerian marriage, sometimes am tempted to say 'f. .k it, your son isn't doing me a goddamn favour' but I hold myself. An in law once asked me where I got a fair baby from, my Mum was there and was livid, I smiled sweetly and didn't utter a sound, I be like 'go do DNA test , that's the last you will see the child' . I know people who are lucky to have lovely in -laws but if you and yours don't see eye to eye, best thing is distance. Please don't leave, manage them, do some damage control, don't let them come between you and oga, block the SSN and never mention it to your husband. On a lighter note, please Girloom people plenty here wey you go dey call 'Aunty' ooo. Personally, I like it when people form Aunty for me cos if we went enter cab, obviously na Aunty go pay nau, abi how you guys see am? 21 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by customised87: 9:25pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
bepop: There can't be any issues, i suggest u hold ur marriage certificate to back up ur claim of who transferred the money. |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by chikos: 9:27pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@ girlloom, I knew this was going to happen since you are staying with your in law that why I suGgested to just change it without their knowledge and to carry your husband along. If you report the man and get them arrested or a criminal record, your husband won't clap for you when you return.from your story your hubby sounds like an only son or they are just close in their family.just take it easy withevery one till you come back home. Fast track every thing and move but first change the ssn or get a pin for it. Cheers 1 Like |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by oyin3: 10:18pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Miracletwinee: True talk o! Girlloom, take the rest to the Lord in prayer. All will be well with you, and home. |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by ujan: 10:33pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Let some body shout haleluyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.Good evening all and thanks to everyone who has contributed in one way or the other on this thread,may The Almighty God continue to Bless and keep you.My darling wife and I had our interview today in Abuja and we were granted.We were interview by the man in cubicle 9. Transcript went thus: ME:Good morning VO:Why do you want to go to the US ME:To have our baby VO:What do you all do ME:Am a staff of xxxxxxxx DW:I work with xxxxxxxxx VO:Your position and what you do ME:I xxxxxxx DW:am a xxxxxxx VO:Ok,thats good VO:How much do you earn ME:I earn xxxxxx including all allowances DW:I earn xxxxxx VO:Do you have any correspondence with a Dr or Hospital ME:I quickly passed it to him VO:He flip through and passed it to me VO:Have you ever travel ME:We both travel to UAE VO:Thats good,continue typing,handed the white paper and said pay all your bills,collect all your receipts and don't use Medicaid so that you wont be turn down when you apply in future. 5 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by girlloom(f): 10:58pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
Miracletwinee:Thanks for your advice and thanks to all who had something to say, I won't be able to reply all your messages. I have decided to make peace with my SIL and leave my husband to handle issues. For peace, I will play the fool. 11 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by bmanbaba: 11:14pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
@girlloom, I will advice u talk to ur husband abt tjis.Let him kW the importance of the SSN and also the implications of it falling into another person's hand. Have him google it or possibly let him read it here. I never knew the importance until I got it here, I would have been a victim.I was with my host gisting wen the wife came from work with mails she got on her way in. She started sorting them and gave one to me that my sons SSN was out, the guy collected it and b4 I could say jack, he opened it and was trying to crame the number bcus he was no more coherent, I quickly grabbed it from him and jokingly told him that he shld av allowed me hand it over to the owner(my son ) first since it was address to the boy.The point here is that I wouldnt av collected it from him like that, if I had not knwn the importance, I whould probably Hav seen it If its just like sumone flipping tru the pages of ur child's passport, which is no big deal. Pls explain to him,he may not kW.I bliv he wil support u. Trust me, u need his support in all this. I blive no man wil want anytin to affect his child negatively in the nearest future. All in all, make sure u call to protect the SSN no matter what. 3 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by MiddyO(f): 11:17pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
donugapi: I testify to this. We stayed almost 4 months with my Uncle and his family and there was no drama. They used to take me for my hospital appointments and drop me at the mall most times. My Uncle's wife stayed with me and momsie through out labour (27hrs), till delivery, planned my baby's naming ceremony. We received lots of gifts (Xmas etc in cash and kind). Thank God for kind hearted people, angels in disguise. Only God can reward them. 2 Likes |
Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by Amother4life: 11:18pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
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Re: Give Birth In USA: Cost And Procedures Part 3 by MiddyO(f): 11:25pm On Mar 21, 2016 |
bigfido: Pearls of wisdom. You couldn't have said it any better! Are you a marriage counselor It's obvious this man values his family members above his wife. Men should learn to protect their wives no matter what. You can scold her in private but don't ever let your family come between you and your wife! That's the beginning of doom in that marriage. 3 Likes 1 Share |
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