Carter4luv:
nice point preye. my question how long has she been shwing u her bad side? frm ur story is jxt once, did u seat her down to talk sense into her. God created a man to guard his wife, if u gave up easily on her, dats to say ure not ready to get married, and also not ready to face life time challenges. all u jxt av to do is go talk to her, teach her if she decide not to change let her be and move on with ur life.

Agree with you. The first step is to ascertain if it is a 'one off' behaviour based on the circumstances at that moment or if it is a trend in which case she will need Psychiatrist care. Had to call off a relationship with a young lady with anger management issues (in my younger days). Her behaviour gradually degenerated from verbal assaults to shirt squeezing to Collar holding. Forgave her after each episode (although it was quite an effort to keep myself from hitting her). When it progressed to locking me indoor, I could not take it any more.

If I had been a bit more mature, I could have taken her for Psychiatrist help (even if I did not end up marrying her)

dearpreye:

Hmmmm.....

Yeah calling yr attention to emekamigo's post

Odunharry:

true observations.... it must always favor them.
I keep saying it anything that doesn't favor them, they shy away from it..

I'm sure if the op is female narrating how her Bf scolds at her and nearly beat her, many would come up with thousand reasons she should flee...
Now what do we get lol

Bros, na to just siddon look. It's really amusing when I see these wiminz talk from their ovaries.

tpiar:
What kind of person calls his friend nigger?

Why are you people so s.tupid sef, una matter tire me, cant you just use your common sense before talking or acting?

Why must you constantly be reminded to do so?

i do wonder sometimes why it is that most of your comments are usually off point or totally out of context from what is being discussed...

This could be a pointer to some underlying psychological issues. Please don't be offended, it's just an observation.

Timbuktou:


So, you'd have divorced her if you had nothing to lose! Interesting. One learns from adults everyday.

Well, so you would stay in an abusive relationship when you can get out without consequence?

tpiar:


The op is not a Christian as you probably know.

Are you yourself a Christian anyway, seems antichrists are quoting bible more these days.

Must you insult me?

MadCow1:



Well, so you would stay in an abusive relationship when you can get out without consequence?

Oh, of course I wouldn't. In fact, I did leave one even with great consequence as I reckon I valued my life over vanities and what may be described as emotional attachments.

However, my amusement stems from our divergence in opinion regarding the recent Equality Bill's contents, specifically, the option to not undertake a civil marriage considering the obvious demerits it would mean for a man such as yourself.

One can only chuckle at your apparent cognitive dissonance considering your very enviable situation. Turns out the very same situation I would like to avoid is the one you attempted, but woefully failed, to shame me to enter. Is this a classic case of misery loving company? Hmm. One wonders.

bebe2:


Since wen girl papa become so important in deciding if to marry her??

don't do that!

You already knew my point

enieme:

people can't control what they are born with. If it's a no go area for all guys, who would then marry them?

Impatience is something fairly common in most humans women especially.

impatience plus anger is a no go area. Combination of both is a suicide mission

Timbuktou:


Oh, of course I wouldn't. In fact, I did leave one even with great consequence as I reckon I valued my life over vanities and what may be described as emotional attachments.

However, my amusement stems from our divergence in opinion regarding the recent Equality Bill's contents, specifically, the option to not undertake a civil marriage considering the obvious demerits it would mean for a man such as yourself.

One can only chuckle at your apparent cognitive dissonance considering your very enviable situation.

Blood of God..


See Grammar!

We dey quarrel?!

If to say I no be child of God, I for consider this your response and attack on my intelligence.





Wait make I find dictionary to take read your post before I can revert with an intelligible and exotic sounding response to your grammatically challenging post.

Thanks!

..Good points op...I wonder why people put up with those kinds of people(male or female)

...Ladies please take note.Men with terrible habits or bad temper do not change!!.Dont endanger your lives or waste your time in the name of 'husband is scarce' rubbish which is a lie and a ploy by badly-behaved men in Nigeria to scare you into marrying their kind..

..You dont have to marry that badly-behaved or hot-tempered man you know.Dont think you can change him cos you cant...i detest hot-tempered and easily-provoked men and avoided them like a plague while i was single(regardless of how 'correct'they thought they were) cos i can be quite opinionated and no push-over..and yes i married the kind of man i like....Firm but kind and generous....be wise ladies,be wise.

cowgirl9090:


if I hear

if u hear wetin

enieme:

it could be psychological. They may try dealing with it but there'd surely be moments of uncontrolled outbursts which may be what the op experienced.

My dear sister, hope you didn't possess any of this character, because I have been reading your comments where you been trying to put-in defensive measures on behalf of the people that possess such character.

I don't mean any offence, but if you fall in that category CHANGE. I am not saying you are in that category oooo.

I just likened that your defensive measure to my ex girl friend. She is the type that would bring out knife that she would stab me whenever we are having serious issues after some moments she would be begging me to forgive her that she doesn't mean to stab me.

One love!

...I can see some ANGRY comments as usual..Some people clearly have no peace in their hearts ..

..really unfortunate.

Odunharry:

Yeah calling yr attention to emekamigo's post

It was a chilling one. Very chilling.

MadCow1:



Blood of God..


See Grammar!

We dey quarrel?!

If to say I no be child of God, I for consider this your response and attack on my intelligence.





Wait make I find dictionary to take read your post before I can revert with an intelligible and exotic sounding response to your grammatically challenging post.

Thanks!

. No be my fault. I just watch Hannibal finish. My brain done recalibrate.

Ngokafor:




..Good points op...I wonder why people put up with those kinds of people(male or female)

...Ladies please take note.Men with terrible habits or bad temper do not change!!.Dont endanger your lives or waste your time in the name of 'husband is scarce' rubbish which is a lie and a ploy by badly-behaved men in Nigeria to scare you into marrying their kind..

..You dont have to marry that badly-behaved or hot-tempered man you know.Dont think you can change him cos you cant...i detest hot-tempered and easily-provoked men and avoided them like a plague while i was single(regardless of how 'correct'they thought they were) cos i can be quite opinionated and no push-over..and yes i married the kind of man i like....Firm but kind and generous....be wise ladies,be wise.

He who has an ear, let him hear.

LaExpert:


Inherit what?

You don't 'inherit' such trait; you choose it.

It is just like saying being friendly can be inherited.



No one is born with an angry or impatient nature.
So many factors influences how an individual acts or what he turns out to be...environmental factors especially.


....if no one marries them, that nature will magically 'control' itself...since you suggest they can't control it.


Nice write-up dearpreye!

Thank you. We are totally responsible for our habits and character.

Ngokafor:



...I can see some ANGRY comments as usual..Some people clearly have no peace in their hearts ..

..really unfortunate.

you can say that again

People hardly change - Correct
People don't change- Incorrect

People change all the time. From good to bad and vice versa. Life experiences has its toll.

Only The Holy Spirit changes a man completely.

People cannot change people that why relationships built on trying to change the other fails.
I know a once very angry man. He is a lawyer. He married his first wife ,they didn't last 8months. They were always fighting. He got married to the 2nd,a medical doc after divorcing the first,they lasted one year,had a son and divorced after much beating and fighting. He got no 3 and they fought for 6months and he accepted Christ and changed completely. His marriage is like 20yrs now. Fight and violence no more exist in his home.

You can love someone but can't change that person. It's not even allowed to change someone you love because love is a choice of acceptance.

#thumbsup

Amhappy:
People hardly change - Correct
People don't change- Incorrect

People change all the time. From good to bad and vice versa. Life experiences has its toll.

Only The Holy Spirit changes a man completely.

People cannot change people that why relationships built on trying to change the other fails.
I know a once very angry man. He is a lawyer. He married his first wife ,they didn't last 8months. They were always fighting. He got married to the 2nd,a medical doc after divorcing the first,they lasted one year,had a son and divorced after much beating and fighting. He got no 3 and they fought for 6months and he accepted Christ and changed completely. His marriage is like 20yrs now. Fight and violence no more exist in his home.

You can love someone but can't change that person. It's not even allowed to change someone you love because love is a choice of acceptance.

People don't change easily.

i beg this one go correct.

Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.

Funkybabee:
@op u seems wrong in this analysis reason is that anger maybe genetic things I mean he/ she might inherit it. for somebody to usually get angry does not disqualified her not to involved in marriage everybody have is side effect no body is perfect only God is perfect.the advice I can give to those have such people is to advice them and pray for her.let me tell u one experience one man is a drunkard he always beat her wife whenever he is drunk and the woman didn't know about that before she marry him but one day that God want to change his life ,on that day her wife born pikin that make him to go and get drunked on that day. when he gone back home on that fateful day he is telling his wife to open the door but as far as his mother is around she just tell the wife not to worry and let her go and open the door for her husband, na his mama opened the door on that day and he beat his mother not knowing that she is not her wife.and in the morning when he woke up he just saw his mother on ground seeing how she beat her mother and she begin to beg is mum on that day, that he even curse himself that he will not drink alcohol in his life again. that's how he repent and give his life to Jesus so the thing I will say is that nobody is perfect we are just trying our best. that's my opinion on this matter

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

rinzylee:


Must you insult me?

where did I insult you?

Are you yourself a Christian is an insult?

or are you an antichrist?

DehtahGeh:
Hmmmmmmmmmmm

yeah

ghostmist:
i do wonder sometimes why it is that most of my comments are usually off point or totally out of context from what is being discussed...

This could be a pointer to some underlying psychological issues I have. Please don't be offended, it's just an observation.

I am sorry you had to disgrace yourself in this manner.

let me see if the person has removed his post yet.

It's still there.

get off your lazy non-thinking trollish butt and go find it.

Sorry

I never hit back in a violent confrontation its a habit i picked up as a child push me slap me o i will turn the other cheek

There has been once i was beaten to a pulp i cried out to the lord that he should show him Who is God the person had an accident that night car was totalled frontal impact but he came out unscathed and frightened

Do not harm anyone you can only come from a place of love anger is fleeting and can be tamed with love and respect. Incompatibility is another thing don't marry someone just because they look great marry someone you know will be there till the end. God can heal anyone and once your foundation (Love for God) is in place you will wither the storms

successismine:
Sorry am late...nice 1 op...I personally don't think an inherited anger can b change or tamed I once date a guy who has an anger issue. Wen we ve any issue he start insulting my family calling all sorts of name,if I talk back at him he will beat me blue black if I keep quite is as if am ignoring him n if i dnt run away he will end up hitting me. When he calm he will start begging n crying forgiveness wen we have issues he will repeat d same tin. Wen I noticed he got d anger issues from d mom I ran for my life oooo

Leaving the violent guy was a smart decision. We need to summon the courage to quit when it's absolutely necessary. He would have probably killed you one day had you not run away. Marriage isn't the most important thing in life.