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Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Hotguy27: 12:05am On Apr 01, 2016
Donlittle:
you are diagnosing someone you met through a forum even to the extent of saying she is not beautiful. Thats really funny to me.
A woman's beauty can boost her confidence and self esteem which I didnt find in her discuss. Qoute me anywhere.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Bhella5(m): 12:07am On Apr 01, 2016
You were not wrong to intimate your hubby. But what i frown @ is that you failed to weight the gravity of magun. It's a potent and deadly charm how do i know this? Story for another day. You erred bigtime but he is a bigger fool to have used that as an opportunity to divorce you. He was supposed to just cautioned you as an elder person would to a younger and innexperience person. I believe he is much older than you right? My verdict; move on. No issues yet so it wont be too hard to take on the long run. God bless u sis.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Nobody: 12:08am On Apr 01, 2016
Hotguy27:

A woman's beauty can boost her confidence and self esteem which I didnt find in her discuss. Qoute me anywhere.
she is trying to work on her broken home. Everyone on here will say she is feeling too big if she starts talking of her beauty. Whatever though

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by tosyne2much(m): 12:10am On Apr 01, 2016
baby124:

You are exactly right. But she doesn't see the handwriting on the wall yet. She's still trying to pray and cast and bind something that was never there. The man has probably seen way to travel abroad and change his life. She is here believing his lies and blaming herself.
Bro, I was just shaking my head reading comments of people blaming the woman... The truth of the matter is that a man who wants to dump a woman will definitely look for a way to push the blame on her

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by romance247(m): 12:11am On Apr 01, 2016
jmichlins:
He does not deserve you. You are worth more much to be cheated on so let him go
I think you will marry her after she let him go.........end time advice
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Nobody: 12:13am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:


You must not comment. Get something doing. If you got no advice kindly leave the thread. Except you have itching fingers.

take your own advice, Mrs clueless and get something doing.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by bankybobo11: 12:17am On Apr 01, 2016
Happy new month to these wonderful nairalanders: demigoddess (my Igbo bae), SANDOSKI, vheekie (geek), naijaboiy (swag), smellymouth (ladies man) and sinaj (beauty) grin grin grin grin grin grin grin cheesy
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by baby124: 12:17am On Apr 01, 2016
tosyne2much:
Bro, I was just shaking my head reading comments of people blaming the woman... The truth of the matter is that a man who wants to dump a woman will definitely look for a way to push the blame on her
I am a woman. But yes, it's obvious she's pouring water into a basket. God is preventing that pregnancy to save her so she can move on. But here she is fighting for pregnancy. She doesn't see that all her prayers have been answered by God. But it's not the answer she is looking for. As a Christian she is supposed to understand that God's ways are not our ways. When something is so difficult and we have prayed and prayed. Yet no way, it's God telling her she is on the wrong track and giving her another chance. Her own husband is probably looking for her. But here she is, fasting and praying. Opening herself to disease and high blood pressure. She can't fight for her own dignity but another man's love who doesn't give a toss about her. Too bad.

3 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by tosyne2much(m): 12:21am On Apr 01, 2016
baby124:

I am a woman. But yes, it's obvious she's pouring water into a basket. God is preventing that pregnancy to save her so she can move on. But here she is fighting for pregnancy. She doesn't see that all her prayers have been answered by God. But it's not the answer she is looking for. As a Christian she is supposed to understand that God's ways are not our ways. When something is so difficult and we have prayed and prayed. Yet no way, it's God telling her she is on the wrong track and giving her another chance. Her own husband is probably looking for her. But here she is, fasting and praying. Opening herself to disease and high blood pressure. She can't fight for her own dignity but another man's love who doesn't give a toss about her. Too bad.
You have spoken well my sister... It's just so obvious that the man no longer need her. However, even if she never seek relationship advice from her neighbour, I'm pretty sure her husband will still look for another blame to put on her just to discard her


I just pray that God restructures her marriage and if the man insists on divorce may God help her sha

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by baby124: 12:31am On Apr 01, 2016
tosyne2much:
You have spoken well my sister... It's just so obvious that the man no longer need her. However, even if she never seek relationship advice from her neighbour, I'm pretty sure her husband will still look for another blame to put on her just to discard her


I just pray that God restructures her marriage and if the man insists on divorce may God help her sha
You are a reasonable man. God bless you. She doesn't see she is fighting for a man with low moral character, and a very fickle human being. He is the type that cannot be there in hard times. He has seen greener pastures and has turned the whole family against her. Probably even lied to the mistress about her. She can never win with this guy in her life. And it will be a big blessing to let him be another woman's problem. He's manipulative too and a liar. Also very wicked. She is better off throwing a send off party for this guy. He's bad news to any woman. Goodluck to the mistress. She better hope she's Bill Gates daughter because a tiger is a tiger any day.

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by tosyne2much(m): 12:35am On Apr 01, 2016
baby124:

You are a reasonable man. God bless you. She doesn't see she is fighting for a man with low moral character, and a very fickle human being. He is the type that cannot be there in hard times. He has seen greener pastures and has turned the whole family against her. Probably even lied to the mistress about her. She can never win with this guy in her life. And it will be a big blessing to let him be another woman's problem. He's manipulative too and a liar. Also very wicked. She is better off throwing a send off party for this guy. He's bad news to any woman. Goodluck to the mistress. She better hope she's Bill Gates daughter because a tiger is a tiger any day.
Brilliant one ! Are you married ?
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by ladyF(f): 12:37am On Apr 01, 2016
So many reasons why some of us are not eager to get married!!!

Is marriage really necessary sef? grin
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Dirkcoyt: 12:43am On Apr 01, 2016
tossen:


I know a woman who prayed and fasted for 30years. She is still miserable. And shes already too old to start over. All her children are dysfunctional in one way or another. Advice her pls

Sarcasm is a good tool, when a slowpoke still play along after the sarcasm, then one wonders if he/she feign ignorance or he/she is just playing dumb.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by kittykat1(f): 12:45am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:


Okay I thought it was me. I am not here for flinging but to get a solution. Even if this present marriage doesn't work out I will, be a better person in my next marriage
Unfortunately you are getting a lot of bad advise here. Please I will talk to you personally.

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Nobody: 12:48am On Apr 01, 2016
baby124:

I am a woman. But yes, it's obvious she's pouring water into a basket. God is preventing that pregnancy to save her so she can move on. But here she is fighting for pregnancy. She doesn't see that all her prayers have been answered by God. But it's not the answer she is looking for. As a Christian she is supposed to understand that God's ways are not our ways. When something is so difficult and we have prayed and prayed. Yet no way, it's God telling her she is on the wrong track and giving her another chance. Her own husband is probably looking for her. But here she is, fasting and praying. Opening herself to disease and high blood pressure. She can't fight for her own dignity but another man's love who doesn't give a toss about her. Too bad.
The society makes it seem like marriage is a do or die affair, thats why she is doing everything to save it, but a man that cheats on you and threathen to leave you because you confided in him his no man. She should Count her losses, and move on. She is atill young, and nothing would be lost.

3 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by DExplorer1: 12:55am On Apr 01, 2016
To this man I read his story, even if you didn't open up he would still cheat on you.

Don't regret your act of open-mindedness. He was made to cheat since the day he told you you were still a baby.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Nobody: 1:04am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

Your gossip landed you here. What kind of conversation were you having discussing native doctor with your Neigbour if you were not interested tying the poor man down.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by edpunter(m): 1:10am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confiding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.


Nigeria men sha, they always get away with so many things. Anyways, not everything you gossip with your neighbor/family/friends you share with your husband, men always capitalize or give reference to them @ the long-run, no matter how nice your man maybe don't share such cos they will smile over it and later crucify you. Some stuffs/secret are better be kept rather than shared. In Nigeria women control their home, hence always watch what you do or say as a woman.

Keep to yourself and don't be worried about him threatening to divorce you, if you have kids with him focus on them for now and give him whatever he wants then try to make him happy, whenever he brings same topic always keep quiet and don't say a word but always feel remorse, he will come to his senses someday. Above all pray about your marriage like always.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by abimic(m): 1:12am On Apr 01, 2016
If a man loves a woman, there's nothing the woman would do, he would find by all means to forgive her and settle issue with her, but if reverse was the case, the man would be looking for the next available slight opportunity to make the courtship somersault. That u sought counsel wasn't the reason he filed a divorce, he was just tired of u, moreover, he already said his weakness was women and u could have sought to help him by asking from him what u need do from the moment u knew this. Also, nairaland isn't the only place to seek a broad view of advice, best is one that speaks to your hubby,u at same time and u both pick your pieces together and move on: u should have had a family pastor since u are a Christian, even me that I'm single, if I have a fiancee, we would surely have a God ordained pastor that believes in upholding marriages that we Can both visit when things become cloudy how much more when I am married. I hate discussing marriage issue with outsiders not even one's mum as most mothers would not be so blunt as needed and if one becomes blunt, the offended side from the conversation won't feel too happy, so pastor is the best bet. U seem very nice for u to have begged to save the marriage but for how long? Don't u know your husband is worst in Character than u? what explains his cheating nature? men that cheat in marriages deserve no respect from their spouses as that's a sign that their wives are worthless. No child is involved and Bible doesn't go against quitting marriage most esp when there's a clear sign of adultery as it brings distrust. Pray and seek the face of the Lord, meet your church's pastor for counsel and if he's your God chosen husband, he would come back and if he's not, God surely has a better plan for your life,better dude would come that would treat u like the mistress that u've always craved for.

3 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by edpunter(m): 1:16am On Apr 01, 2016
MIPNIG:


Your gossip landed you here. What kind of conversation were you having discussing native doctor with your Neigbour if you were not interested tying the poor man down.

You should understand the neighbor is fearless and knows the husband cheats on her, a good husband will tell her not to get close to such people again with authority rather than telling her she's a baby. Let me ask you a question, if you are told by your neighbor or friend that your mom is a witch @ the age of 18-24 yrs, what will you do?
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Wowzer(m): 1:28am On Apr 01, 2016
Op. There is more to your one sided story. In Feb.2015, you threatened to divorce your husband, leave his house. He gave you tfare to leave the next day and you refused to follow through your threat.

Now he is telling you to follow it through. You claim to love him so much, yet because of heated argument. You decided to threaten him with divorce. Now that divorce is staring at you...why not follow it through. That's the implication of braggadocio.

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by jmichlins(m): 2:02am On Apr 01, 2016
romance247:
I think you will marry her after she let him go.........end time advice
did you read the point she said her life is threatened by the husband. The man moved on with his mistress to another apartment so what will you have her do if she is your sister

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Smellymouth: 2:03am On Apr 01, 2016
bankybobo11:
Happy new month to these wonderful nairalanders: demigod.dess (my Igbo bae), SANDO.SKI, vh.eekie (geek), naija.boiy (swag), smellym.outh (ladies man) and sina.j (beauty) grin grin grin grin grin grin grin cheesy

I dobale for you baba..

Happy new month and may all ur wishes, dreams and aspirations come to pass this new month...

Ekaro oooooo grin

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by 9jatatafo(m): 2:04am On Apr 01, 2016
You have revealed more than you can reveal. Your mouth is very open and wide
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by onoja12: 3:07am On Apr 01, 2016
let me ask you,and try to be honest with yourself,what would be your reaction if your husband had jokingly told you just as you said that his friend advised that he put some charm in your food??please be honest

cionon:


Ok I get u. What happens to when a woman is emotionally down? Is her husband not supposed to uplift her by giving word of advice instead of kicking for divorce? Why are then now a couple if one cannot be her strength when she is weak? Should it be the woman duty alone to be the strength I her husband in weakness?
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by paycash: 3:45am On Apr 01, 2016
Do humble enough to save your marriage.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Bollinger(m): 3:48am On Apr 01, 2016
Vision4God:
Watch ur words, let dem b more encouraging to ur husband. pray more for him, and bcareful hu u listen n talk to(so called friends)

Did you read the post at all? The man has been having extra marital affairs since forever and the best advice you can give is to "pray for him". What is wrong with Nigerians for God's sake?

3 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Bollinger(m): 3:50am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

You and your husband have serious mental issues that needs to be resolved.

1 Like

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by papadjaji: 4:10am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:


I come hear cos it's a faceless forum instead of going to friends who will broadcast my issue. I come for advice. And for all. I didn't marry my boyfriend whom I wrote about before. My husband was a friend before he asked me to marry him

I think you need maturity. Firstly, You do not respond to every stupid post like the one above. It is not ur duty to carry everyone along, those who understand you will comment on the topic and not attack your person.
Secondly, I personally think it is wrong to beg to be loved. Asking 4 another chance is more or less killing d little respect he has for u.

2 Likes

Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Malakh: 4:16am On Apr 01, 2016
if you know what true love is,you would beg for it and work for it...
k4kenny:


You nailed it right there. You can't beg or force someone to love you. I feel so sorry for the OP. This is the same man that gave her T fare to go back to her parents' house, even taking her keys, after she made an idle threat. From what I can see the man doesn't want you in his house any longer and he's looking for the slightest excuse to be rid of you.

From your past thread, your previous relationship ended in 2013, you married this guy in 2014, I don't think you guys got to know eachother really well before tying the knot.

On the issue of conception. I hope you know you have a ticking biological clock. Why do you want to waste your youth on a philanderer who doesn't want to have kids with you? It may be because he doesn't want you to have his kids that he's not paying attention to his motility.

I see you want to do everything to save your marriage so maybe you should listen to those that said you should try to be the best wife you can be, but just remember if he REALLY loves you, he won't want you out of his house at the slightest provocation.

All the best.
Re: Was I Wrong Opening Up To My Husband? by Nobody: 4:16am On Apr 01, 2016
cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.
Your husband is not comfortable with you anymore and also believes that you're cheating on him.

Just call a family meeting and asks for forgiveness and that you meant no harm towards him. Only wanted to scare him off. That's all!

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