kurlz:


whenever you beg for love you become a slave forever, all your life you will live at the other party's mercy and be on the quest to pls him or her for as long as the relationship lasts.
bsds this is a forum where your identity is not or barely known so you can discuss whatever is bugging you here instead of dying in silence.
mind you @op your husband doesn't want you to discuss your family issue whereas I'm sure his mistress is aware of every air you breathe in that house, it's his conscience that's judging him.
pray to God for direction.
peace.

In my little knowledge, love grows and diminishes. Begging for love in marriage is wanting to proof you could be loved if given such chance to profess it to your partner.
In the op case, they are married and there are still element of love. If not they wont be married. The character that promoted the love might have been lost. So if she is given another chance she may reignite that character and thus the love.

@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger

Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.

I have weighed the options made my decison.

MY REASON for saying such to my husband

Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways

No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all

I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.

Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.

Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God

Dirkcoyt:


Sarcasm is a good tool, when a slowpoke still play along after the sarcasm, then one wonders if he/she feign ignorance or he/she is just playing dumb.

Meaning?

mostyg:


In my little knowledge, love grows and diminishes. Begging for love in marriage is wanting to proof you could be loved if given such chance to profess it to your partner.
In the op case, they are married and there are still element of love. If not they wont be married. The character that promoted the love might have been lost. So if she is given another chance she may reignite that character and thus the love.

hnmmm I am scared of marriage.

Let that boy go, wait for a real man to locate you

kurlz:



hnmmm I am scared of marriage.

Why should you? Marriage should not only be on the basis of two people wanting to spend the rest of their lifes together. There must be other purposes which must also be shared by your would be partner.
Those other purposes must and will continue to bind you together even when the so called ' love' diminishes or totally disappears.
When choosing your partner, please choose the one that is merciful because when your love for him is at the lowest his mercifulness will reignite it in you and vice versa.

mostyg:


Why should you? Marriage should not only be on the basis of two people wanting to spend the rest of their lifes together. There must be other purposes which must also be shared by your would be partner.
Those other purposes must and will continue to bind you together even when the so called ' love' diminishes or totally disappears.
When choosing your partner, please choose the one that is merciful because when your love for him is at the lowest his mercifulness will reignite it in you and vice versa.

thanks. BTW r u married? u seem to know a lot about marriage.

cionon:
@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger

Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.

I have weighed the options made my decison.

MY REASON for saying such to my husband

Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways

No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all

I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.

Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.

Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God

Madam... pls are you legally married to your husband? If you arr... the law helps save a marriage. Divorce is usually tye last resort they give in to. So if u want to save.ur marriage... pray and take legal actions. Its also dangerous that u are away frm home for so long. This mistress might b pregnant already. Act fast. Seek legal advice. Stop begging. Unless u dont want that marriage, the law can still help u force him to sit tight.

Wait op. Is this the same guy that was reluctant to marry you after u gave him your masters money and lied to ur dad?

cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

No offense, but you sound like he could make you shoot yourself, if only he will take your corpse as his for a moment.

And so he wants to go. Are you so dependent on his provisions that you can't let go? You should know that marriage is simply the meeting of two strangers. Your spouse is just a stranger who can stab you in the back at any moment. If he decides to take you back, you'll have ish forever. He will always bring this up, reminding you how you begged him. How I wish I were him. I would take you back to teach you a lesson, in fact you'll be the one begging for a divorce.

Saw your modified post. You've had issues with him for a while, he flaunts that other person and you still want in?

Tellemall:


No offense, but you sound like he could make you shoot yourself, if only he will take your corpse as his for a moment.

And so he wants to go. Are you so dependent on his provisions that you can't let go? You should know that marriage is simply the meeting of two strangers. Your spouse is just a stranger who can stab you in the back at any moment. If he decides to take you back, you'll have ish forever. He will always bring this up, reminding you how you begged him. How I wish I were him. I would take you back to teach you a lesson, in fact you'll be the one begging for a divorce.

Saw your modified post. You've had issues with him for a while, he flaunts that other person and you still want in?

Op really seems self destructive. Im very worried about her.

tossen:


Op really seems self destructive. Im very worried about her.

Self destructive people don't come online. They quietly destroy themselves. She's not self destructive. She wants opinions.

Tellemall:


Self destructive people don't come online. They quietly destroy themselves. She's not self destructive. She wants opinions.

Sometimes you arr not evn conscious of your destructive actions. Your choices and the things you think u want are clearly not even good for u yet u keep trying hard and taking actions like coming online to seek help.

tossen:

Meaning?

Sorry you couldn't get my usage of word

Dirkcoyt:


Sorry you couldn't get my usage of word

If that were the case, i could have easily consulted the online dictionary. Ur comment makes a null point.

You didnt answer the question.it is a straight forward question?

cionon:


I never said someone adviced me to do magun. I have never even talked about juju things with anybody.

The magun thing which I am quite aware. A woman can't use it. I only said that to even scare him from travelling everytime to meet his mistress. But i later told him i cant do it. That no matter how much i am treated badly that i can never go that route. I were only discussing how to conceive and she was like I should be giving my husband herbs which I told her I can't try it. That was the end of discussion. Which she even said then i am not ready to conceive.

girlfriendsnatc:


I'm having a hard time believing you're an adult because you reason like a naive child. She tells one side of the story and you're already crucifying the husband without knowing his side of the story. And the fact is, from her side of the story it's obvious she's responsible for her predicament and very likely the most culpable between the two; that's why she's not the one pushing for a divorce but the husband is. She's probably holding back on some crucial information that possibly would indict her in this case, so why not ask her to tell you the whole truth, because women are known in cases like this to only tell the part of the story that makes her look innocent and the victim, even though she might be the aggressor. I mean what kind of a woman sublty threatens to kill her husband openly to his face and calls that a joke? He would be stupid to ignore her threats. Wake up, this is the real world and some women have killed their husbands simply based on their insecurity whims or unsubstantiated fabrications. For the fact that she's apologetic further proves she knows she did things wrong and, I think it's a good sign she remorseful — if genuine. But you didn't consider things from every perspective but were so quick to take on her side just because the complainant is a female, thus acting like the typical Nigerian male that is a toadying sycophantic obsessed bootlicker to girls that don't even give the least flying fu©k about you. Maybe you should buy a skirt and wear it around, so people can easily differentiate between us real men and you b!tch pûssy niggas that always suck up to women

Wait. Are you a misogynist? How come thus long comment became increasingly foul simply because someone took compassion based on the information provided?

It suddenly became a material for feminine hate.
Oh well... honestly, i also believe there are two sides to every story

tossen:


If that were the case, i could have easily consulted the online dictionary. Ur comment makes a null point.

Oooh what I posited there is not straight,it was a logical composition. The bottomline was you were being sarcastic with your post about the thread.

Anyway its great meeting you right?

tossen:


Sometimes you arr not evn conscious of your destructive actions. Your choices and the things you think u want are clearly not even good for u yet u keep trying hard and taking actions like coming online to seek help.

True enough. She knows the marriage is toxic, but by all means she wants to remain in it. Religiously, she has good grounds for divorce. And sensibly, she should, too. If she wasn't so obsessed with him.


He clearly isn't interested and never will be. She's been plastering herself on him the whole time. And she still coming out for opinions. Well, opinion flows towards her being desperate and senseless.

Dirkcoyt:


Oooh what I posited there is not straight,it was a logical composition. The bottomline was you were being sarcastic with your post about the thread.

Anyway its great meeting you right?

I dnt like insultive comments. so i decisively refuse to take part in it. i understood your comment. Yea, d lady didnt get my sacarsm. Fyi... a slowpoke is physically slow not mentally as u might have suggested.

Tellemall:


True enough. She knows the marriage is toxic, but by all means she wants to remain in it. Religiously, she has good grounds for divorce. And sensibly, she should, too. If she wasn't so obsessed with him.


He clearly isn't interested and never will be. She's been plastering herself on him the whole time. And she still coming out for opinions. Well, opinion flows towards her being desperate and senseless.

@ bolded defines, Self destructive, low self esteem, and fear of the societal opinion of ur personal life. She needs to tke charge of.her life and aspire for hapiness. Hapiness is the only TRUTH!

tossen:


@ bolded defines, Self destructive, low self esteem, and fear of the societal opinion of ur personal life. She needs to tke charge of.her life and aspire for hapiness. Hapiness is the only TRUTH!

How I wish I were that husband of hers. I would gently take her back and then make sure I have her running out when I'm done recounting her begging to return, as well as her past sins and punishing her for each and everyone of them.

Some women lack spines. He's showed you his ace and you remain a jack (a**).

Smh.

Tellemall:


No offense, but you sound like he could make you shoot yourself, if only he will take your corpse as his for a moment.

And so he wants to go. Are you so dependent on his provisions that you can't let go? You should know that marriage is simply the meeting of two strangers. Your spouse is just a stranger who can stab you in the back at any moment. If he decides to take you back, you'll have ish forever. He will always bring this up, reminding you how you begged him. How I wish I were him. I would take you back to teach you a lesson, in fact you'll be the one begging for a divorce.

Saw your modified post. You've had issues with him for a while, he flaunts that other person and you still want in?

excuse you. I am not dependent on anyone. I work and still have my parents. thank God. I wish you will get to go through a divorce. Then you will come back and tell me how easy it was to let go of someone you love. Who is asking you to being the husband? I have made my decisions. Its people like you that your spouse Will come hard for you and you will keep shut. Don't come forming holy. Who do u want to teach a lesson

Tellemall:


How I wish I were that husband of hers. I would gently take her back and then make sure I have her running out when I'm done recounting her begging to return, as well as her past sins and punishing her for each and everyone of them.

Some women lack spines. He's showed you his ace and you remain a jack (a**).

Smh.

You aint God. Many men see themselves as demigods, many women treat men better than they treat the God dey serve. Its such a messed up world

Tellemall:


True enough. She knows the marriage is toxic, but by all means she wants to remain in it. Religiously, she has good grounds for divorce. And sensibly, she should, too. If she wasn't so obsessed with him.


He clearly isn't interested and never will be. She's been plastering herself on him the whole time. And she still coming out for opinions. Well, opinion flows towards her being desperate and senseless.

You do not know my story. So keep mute or ask questions. I didn't force anyone to marry me. Ok?

tossen:


You aint God. Many men see themselves as demigods, many women treat men better than they treat the God dey serve. Its such a messed up world

I think it's a cultural thing. There's this fear or stigma of not being married or divorced that makes Nigerian women stay in the most detrimental relationships. There are the ones who are punch bags but won't leave because, "all my enemies will rejoice". And so they stay on to the point where he flaunts his extras boldly.

Oh well, provided they're happy. Who knows, maybe they derive pleasure from it?

tossen:
Wait op. Is this the same guy that was reluctant to marry you after u gave him your masters money and lied to ur dad?

No not him
I married my friend not my boyfriend

tossen:


I dnt like insultive comments. so i decisively refuse to take part in it. i understood your comment. Yea, d lady didnt get my sacarsm. Fyi... a slowpoke is physically slow not mentally as u might have suggested.

That I disagree with ooo, the physical is being controlled by the brain, so if the brain is retarded expect a slow physical reaction. Well good sarcasm and you didn't get me first not until I explantiate.

cionon:


excuse you. I am not dependent on anyone. I work and still have my parents. thank God. I wish you will get to go through a divorce. Then you will come back and tell me how easy it was to let go of someone you love. Who is asking you to being the husband? I have made my decisions. Its people like you that your spouse Will come hard for you and you will keep shut. Don't come forming holy. Who do u want to teach a lesson

Relax. Take in deep breaths.

Now listen: you have good grounds to divorce your husband. You're just forcing yourself on him. Stop wishing for people to get divorced, and don't think others will keep shut and revel in a cheating spouse the way you do.

cionon:


You do not know my story. So keep mute or ask questions. I didn't force anyone to marry me. Ok?

If you didn't force him to marry you, why are you forcing yourself to stay married to him?

I don't mean to be rude, but you put this up in public. Not everyone will sympathize with you.

I particularly don't like it when women try to fight for marriages to men who don't value them. He has showed you that you cannot trust him and that you will further live with him as if he is a snitch.

You come across, in your original post, as one of those women who hang on the hems of men's garments, because they just want to be there. Don't come after me, go after your husband, who has a mistress when he knows he's married and that woman who is complicit.



You said you've made up your mind on what to do. Wish you luck.

Dirkcoyt:


That I disagree with ooo, the physical is being controlled by the brain, so if the brain is retarded expect a slow physical reaction. Well good sarcasm and you didn't get me first not until I explantiate.

Let me leave u to argue with urself." meaning?" differs from "i dont get u".

but if thinking u have said something indecipherable makes u happy, have fun. Who knows how much effort u put into churning that altogether. Lol!

girlfriendsnatc:


I'm having a hard time believing you're an adult because you reason like a naive child. She tells one side of the story and you're already crucifying the husband without knowing his side of the story. And the fact is, from her side of the story it's obvious she's responsible for her predicament and very likely the most culpable between the two; that's why she's not the one pushing for a divorce but the husband is. She's probably holding back on some crucial information that possibly would indict her in this case, so why not ask her to tell you the whole truth, because women are known in cases like this to only tell the part of the story that makes her look innocent and the victim, even though she might be the aggressor. I mean what kind of a woman sublty threatens to kill her husband openly to his face and calls that a joke? He would be stupid to ignore her threats. Wake up, this is the real world and some women have killed their husbands simply based on their insecurity whims or unsubstantiated fabrications. For the fact that she's apologetic further proves she knows she did things wrong and, I think it's a good sign she remorseful — if genuine. But you didn't consider things from every perspective but were so quick to take on her side just because the complainant is a female, thus acting like the typical Nigerian male that is a toadying sycophantic obsessed bootlicker to girls that don't even give the least flying fu©k about you. Maybe you should buy a skirt and wear it around, so people can easily differentiate between us real men and you b!tch pûssy niggas that always suck up to women

Did you read well
If no, there is no place I threatened to kill my husband. He was the one that threatened. Well no need replying. Even my husband will simply tell you those two points are listed. His conscience judges him alot. After saying such. He tells them am a good person. Whatba discrepancy. Why should I come here to lie? I am looling for solution and not pity and also no insults talk fair. That's all