Is it necessary for a guy to ask for his girlfriend's parents permission and blessing before he proposes to her?

Even in the cause of inter-tribal/church marriage?

ArinzeAlec:
Is it necessary for a guy to ask for his girlfriend's parents permission and blessing before he proposes to her?

Even in the cause of inter-tribal/church marriage?

The most important factor in this equation is the girlfriend. You must first seek her consent before consulting any other party.

When a woman truly loves, she'd defy even God to be with her man so even if parents sometimes kick against the union, she may dare them. Again, if parents bless the union and she is opposed to it, you my friend, are wasting your time. This holds true never minding ethnic/racial undertones.

Ofcourse its avery good thing.

What if her parents grants your permission and she doesnt?



I think the girl is the most important person here.

4C2215131:


The most important factor in this equation is the girlfriend. You must first seek her consent before consulting any other party.

When a woman truly loves, she'd defy even God to be with her man so even if parents sometimes kick against the union, she may dare them. Again, if parents bless the union and she is opposed to it, you my friend, are wasting your time. This holds true never minding ethnic/racial undertones.

Some parents are still very much possessive even to the point of the "after proposal". They tend to disagree with the engagement probably after running some background check on you.

My obvious question is, is it necessary to seek your fiance's parents consent before or after proposal?

sinaj:
What if her parents grants your permission and she doesnt?



I think the girl is the most important person here.

In a situation where by that its already a mutual agreement between you and your lover, he proposes without your parents awareness. On getting to meet him, they dont like him and refuse giving their blessings... Whos is/are the important person there?

why notsome questions are not even ment to be asked..mtcheww

ArinzeAlec:


Some parents are still very much possessive even to the point of the "after proposal". They tend to disagree with the engagement probably after running some background check on you.

My obvious question is, is it necessary to seek your fiance's parents consent before or after proposal?

So if they tell you they aint with it, are you going to desist from proposing to your woman? If you can answer this question, you've gotten my answer to your query.

ArinzeAlec:


In a situation where by that its already a mutual agreement between you and your lover, he proposes without your parents awareness. On getting to meet him, they dont like him and refuse giving their blessings... Whos is/are the important person there?

Are you getting married to the parents? while it is important to have the blessings of parents we must understand that sometimes their selfishness prevents their kids from seeking true happiness (this is when both partners are upright in character and not one being of questionable character). They hide their selfishness under the guise of 'knowing what's best for you' (which they do sometimes).

If your partner consents to marrying you irrespective of her parents' wishes and you ove her enough to risk it, why hesitate?

4C2215131:


Are you getting married to the parents? while it is important to have the blessings of parents we must understand that sometimes their selfishness prevents their kids from seeking true happiness (this is when both partners are upright in character and not one being of questionable character). They hide their selfishness under the guise of 'knowing what's best for you' (which they do sometimes).

Amazing piece there but if you are igbo, you'd still understand the genesis of this thread. Most them core traditional parents/belivers still practise the "OSU" bullshit that You left to wonder what that has got to help for the betterment of the country's economy. A close friend was an example. Her parents was so point blank she aint going in that marriage.

ArinzeAlec:


In a situation where by that its already a mutual agreement between you and your lover, he proposes without your parents awareness. On getting to meet him, they dont like him and refuse giving their blessings... Whos is/are the important person there?

still me.


Am the one getting married to him here not them

sinaj:
What if her parents grants your permission and she doesnt?



I think the girl is the most important person here.

What if she says yes and her parents says NO and mean it?



Traditions and Opinions differ though. In the place where I come from, the engagement becomes useless once her parents are against it.

She may try to disobey them but it still won't work because my parents won't support me to marry someone's daughter by force so proposing to a lady is useless in my opinion.

I know if the lady I am with will marry me or not so the next step when I am ready is to give her parents a surprise visit.

If they're cool with it, good but if they ain't and I couldn't persuade them then that is the end.

Going against our parents' wish in marriage is very risky cause there's nobody to turn to when your partner reveals his/her true color after marriage. Such risk isn't worth taking again judging from the way people forget the past and abandon their promises.

Bottom Line: Don't Propose At all. just marry her already.

What kind of silly "what if" statements are these timid guys posting here


The only person whose consent should be sought for when proposing is the Girl and she alone.. not even her bestfrnd!



Even if she says yes but still says u should go seek permision from her parents before she concludes on d yes then I think such girl isn't matured enough to make her decisions!




What I have written, I have written

That's how you guys won't address the main issue.

How can you date someone and be planning to marry her without knowing her family or parents? Before proposal or anything like that, meet her parents first. Not to seek their permission but the action alone shows how serious you guys are. If. You don't see signs that they like you when they're not aware that you're their daughter's fiance then just forget about it. They can never like you.

But then again, what kind of relationship is it if you don't know your partner's parents and they don't know you? Even if they're in Antarctica, as long as I'm in love with their daughter and want to marry them, I'll find them and I'll see them. If I should decide not to see them before taking on other actions then I might as well not give a _fuck about their consent or permission or what not.

Dygeasy:
That's how you guys won't address the main issue.

How can you date someone and be planning to marry her without knowing her family or parents? Before proposal or anything like that, meet her parents first. Not to seek their permission but the action alone shows how serious you guys are. If. You don't see signs that they like you when they're not aware that you're their daughter's fiance then just forget about it. They can never like you.

But then again, what kind of relationship is it if you don't know your partner's parents and they don't know you? Even if they're in Antarctica, as long as I'm in love with their daughter and want to marry them, I'll find them and I'll see them. If I should decide not to see them before taking on other actions then I might as well not give a _fuck about their consent or permission or what not.

U seems to be the only one that really understood the question. How will u ask a lady to marry u without knowing her family members most especially parent. What if after the proposal the parent refused bluntly that u can't marry their daughter what will u do? Run away with their daughter! Withdraw ur Ring! Common this is common sense

mikedimeji:


U seems to be the only one that really understood the question. How will u ask a lady to marry u without knowing her family members most especially parent. What if after the proposal the parent refused bluntly that u can't marry their daughter what will u do? Run away with their daughter! Withdraw ur Ring! Common this is common sense

but your op was if you can ask the parent permission before you proposes.

you Dont even need to seek their permission at all, ypi will know if they want you by the time your gf introduces you

Tallesty1:
What if she says yes and her parents says NO and mean it?



Traditions and Opinions differ though. In the place where I come from, the engagement becomes useless once her parents are against it.

She may try to disobey them but it still won't work because my parents won't support me to marry someone's daughter by force so proposing to a lady is useless in my opinion.

I know if the lady I am with will marry me or not so the next step when I am ready is to give her parents a surprise visit.

If they're cool with it, good but if they ain't and I couldn't persuade them then that is the end.

Going against our parents' wish in marriage is very risky cause there's nobody to turn to when your partner reveals his/her true color after marriage. Such risk isn't worth taking again judging from the way people forget the past and abandon their promises.

Bottom Line: Don't Propose At all. just marry her already.

in this 21st century

sinaj:
in this 21st century

Century is a white man thing.


Our tradition no know am.

Na the parents you dey marry?
Except shez a village girl, then and only then would her parents consent superseed the girls'

ArinzeAlec:


Amazing piece there but if you are igbo, you'd still understand the genesis of this thread. Most them core traditional parents/belivers still practise the "OSU" bullshit that You left to wonder what that has got to help for the betterment of the country's economy. A close friend was an example. Her parents was so point blank she aint going in that marriage.

Like I opined earlier, it boils down to what she wants. OSU or not, if she truly believes her happiness lies with her man, she'd marry him. What's the worst that can happen? The cliched "Ï'll disown you". Well, there are a lot of successful orphans out there so, no wahala.

Parents can really be a bone in the neck ONLY if you allow them to. You have the right to self determination as an adult living with your mistakes and hopefully learning from it. The sooner parents start to respect the individuality of their cildren the better. You can even see this mentality playing out in our politics ala 'my godfather', 'my leadér', 'my chairman' etc. syndrome where the so called godfather is just interested in foistering his own selfish interests via invoking the supposed hold he has on his subject. End of story-messing up the nation!

mikedimeji:


U seems to be the only one that really understood the question. How will u ask a lady to marry u without knowing her family members most especially parent. What if after the proposal the parent refused bluntly that u can't marry their daughter what will u do? Run away with their daughter! Withdraw ur Ring! Common this is common sense

I tire o my brother.


I just dey read the comments above con dey wonder if na the same thread dem dey comment on. I felt like I fell on another thread. Lol

Why not, it's more important than anything else