To people questioning why Ronke dated Kayode (It is still an allegation), I will like to say the same question should be asked of Lekan who impregnated another woman.

What is good for goose is good for gander. If men can flirt around, why can't the women?

The best marriage is to be faithful to each other but I am writing this to point to the fact that if a man feels manly to cheat, the woman can feel womanly to cheat too.

To those saying the reason a woman should not cheat, is so that she does not bring a bastard into the family......Sex does not mean pregnancy in 21st century unless you wish to. There is something called contraceptive.

My conclusion is that, men should always treat their wives with respect to earn it too. Bear in mind that she is human, she has sexual and sensual desire too and if you deny her the way that satisfies her, she has one of the three options; To live with bitterness and the unfulfilled marital life or to help herself by seeking what she need elsewhere or to divorce.

Why do men cheat?
Why do women cheat?

I am a woman but I do not agree with the fact that a woman has the right to cheat.jyst becos the man cheated, women has deeper heart to accommodate and forgive, that is our nature, men has little or no patience with a cheating wife, though I'm not trying to justify a cheating husband, it is VERY WRONG to cheat on ur partner, let's assume that it happened, as the man is boldly owning up before pple to say he sleeps around, can u a woman own up same before a group of pple? that is thr difference. women go fit hold body, men no dey fit, but it's not good for a man to cheat .

fancyupage:
thanks for stating your position with civility.

thanks for stating yo own position with civility.

mii4u:
I am a woman but I do not agree with the fact that a woman has the right to cheat.jyst becos the man cheated, women has deeper heart to accommodate and forgive, that is our nature, men has little or no patience with a cheating wife, though I'm not trying to justify a cheating husband, it is VERY WRONG to cheat on ur partner, let's assume that it happened, as the man is boldly owning up before pple to say he sleeps around, can u a woman own up same before a group of pple? that is thr difference. women go fit hold body, men no dey fit, but it's not good for a man to cheat .

Looks around

If you cheat then I sm justified to cheat too
Only if I don't find out sha

Ma ma fi ori Ku fun e
Iwo ma fi kiniyen daran

Kosi iyen mo

"men should always treat their wives with respect to earn it"...so women should not treat their husbands with respect to earn it abi??both husband and wife should treat themselves with respect.dont try to blame it on men alone..

mii4u:
I am a woman but I do not agree with the fact that a woman has the right to cheat.jyst becos the man cheated, women has deeper heart to accommodate and forgive, that is our nature, men has little or no patience with a cheating wife, though I'm not trying to justify a cheating husband, it is VERY WRONG to cheat on ur partner, let's assume that it happened, as the man is boldly owning up before pple to say he sleeps around, can u a woman own up same before a group of pple? that is thr difference. women go fit hold body, men no dey fit, but it's not good for a man to cheat .

Errm sorry o Madam but not every woman has the kain deep heart o. Which one is nature to forgive?Nature to forgive is in everyone not exclusive to women.
We have just been conditioned to believe that and accept the extreme behaviour of some men when cheated on to be viewed as normal.
Once the promise to be faithful has been broken,the wronged partner has every right to cheat back.When you breach the terms of a contract ,it becomes null and void.
Since society frowns on the lady cheating even when her man is proudly boasting of doing the same,she can say she sampled other options..it's just sampling not the same thing as cheating

misreal:
"men should always treat their wives with respect to earn it"...so women should not treat their husbands with respect to earn it abi??both husband and wife should treat themselves with respect.dont try to blame it on men alone..

Don't jump into conclusion, I never said women should disrespect their husbands, you said it. I was very clear, respect is reciprocal.

fancyupage:


Don't jump into conclusion, I never said women should disrespect their husbands, you said it. I was very clear, respect is reciprocal.

ok,but you sounded as if being disrespectful is a male thing..nice write up tho

So If my husband cheats, I should go out and find a man to cheat with?
Even if its not my nature
Even if it means disrespecting myself
Will it make me feel better?
I doubt it
Revenge seems sweet until you do it and then realise that it doesn't feel that good after all.

The person you are cheating with you will eventually break up with
....and the next one
.....and the next one

You will be the side chick and be ducking and hiding from the other mans wife.
Better to leave the marriage than to put yourself through more unnecessary emotional stress
The day you have headache you will say maybe its because God is angry with you
Anyway I no get that kain power
im too high maintenance to be anyone's side chick.

Women have more emotional needs than men. We need more than just sex. How will the man I am cheating with be able to fill all those needs whist I am under someone else's roof?
Can he turn and give me a cuddle and kiss in the night whilst I am in my bed with my cheating husband and he is in bed at home with his wife?
Personally I think any woman that settles for this is just selling herself short.
Better to leave the marriage and find a 100% available & committed man. Not stolen minutes with lover boy in Macdonalds car park.

tearoses:
So If my husband cheats, I should go out and find a man to cheat with?
Even if its not my nature
Even if it means disrespecting myself
Will it make me feel better?
I doubt it
Revenge seems sweet until you do it and then realise that it doesn't feel that good after all.

The person you are cheating with you will eventually break up with
....and the next one
.....and the next one

You will be the side chick and be ducking and hiding from the other mans wife.
Better to leave the marriage than to put yourself through more unnecessary emotional stress
The day you have headache you will say maybe its because God is angry with you
Anyway I no get that kain power
im too high maintenance to be anyone's side chick.

Women have more emotional needs than men. We need more than just sex. How will the man I am cheating with be able to fill all those needs whist I am under someone else's roof?
Can he turn and give me a cuddle and kiss in the night whilst I am in my bed with my cheating husband and he is in bed at home with his wife?
Personally I think any woman that settles for this is just selling herself short.
Better to leave the marriage and find a 100% available & committed man. Not stolen minutes with lover boy in Macdonalds car park.

I agree with your option, it is one of the three options a woman has

one stay in the marriage and endure bitterness and abuses.

two find a boyfriend that may temporary help with your affectionate need

three divorce and seek a new relationship.

my write up was not saying that a woman should cheat because her man cheated, I was clear, it meant that a man should expect to be treated as he treated his wife and not to expect anything different. The choice is that of the woman.

mii4u:
I am a woman but I do not agree with the fact that a woman has the right to cheat.jyst becos the man cheated, women has deeper heart to accommodate and forgive, that is our nature, men has little or no patience with a cheating wife, though I'm not trying to justify a cheating husband, it is VERY WRONG to cheat on ur partner, let's assume that it happened, as the man is boldly owning up before pple to say he sleeps around, can u a woman own up same before a group of pple? that is thr difference. women go fit hold body, men no dey fit, but it's not good for a man to cheat .

You have the right, that does not mean you should use it. No one can take the right to cheat from a woman.

mii4u:
I am a woman but I do not agree with the fact that a woman has the right to cheat.jyst becos the man cheated, women has deeper heart to accommodate and forgive, that is our nature, men has little or no patience with a cheating wife, though I'm not trying to justify a cheating husband, it is VERY WRONG to cheat on ur partner, let's assume that it happened, as the man is boldly owning up before pple to say he sleeps around, can u a woman own up same before a group of pple? that is thr difference. women go fit hold body, men no dey fit, but it's not good for a man to cheat .

Men no fit hold body and men decide not to hold body are two different things madam.

Stop making excuses for them, I have said it before, some women no dey help matter at all, haba!

sweetcocoa:
Men no fit hold body and men decide not to hold body are two different things madam.

Stop making excuses for them, I have said it before, some women no dey help matter at all, haba!

madam pls we are all entitled to our own opinion, I've just stated mine but if u feel otherwise doesn't make either of us wrong, it's subjective, but I stand strongly on miine. If u read my last sentence, I made it clear that it is not good for men to cheat, I never supported their cheating habit.

Jahblessme:


Errm sorry o Madam but not every woman has the kain deep heart o. Which one is nature to forgive?Nature to forgive is in everyone not exclusive to women.
We have just been conditioned to believe that and accept the extreme behaviour of some men when cheated on to be viewed as normal.
Once the promise to be faithful has been broken,the wronged partner has every right to cheat back.When you breach the terms of a contract ,it becomes null and void.
Since society frowns on the lady cheating even when her man is proudly boasting of doing the same,she can say she sampled other options..it's just sampling not the same thing as cheating

pls read my post again, I never supported the men to cheat, I only said that it is wrong for the wife to cheat back, btw why she no go boldly call am cheating as the husband go call am, why the word sampling ?

fancyupage:


You have the right, that does not mean you should use it. No one can take the right to cheat from a woman.

i never said that the men has the right to cheat. pls read my post again. thanks

Sweetcocoa the truth is that for whatever reason, when a woman cheats and is caught, the perceived "badness" is more than when a man cheats and is caught.
I don't know how it came to be, but that is just the plain truth.

So also a woman who leaves her kids and walks out is determined to be a worse human being than if a man ups and leaves his kids
Everyday we hear reunions of children who have forgiven their father but its rare to hear of reunions with mothers.

Please read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/3101122/nigerian-student-cleared-rape-uk

I was too tired to say anything on the thread yesterday, but please read the comments
Most people were like "thank God for the man, she is a wicked woman"

But the reality is that this man took home a lady he met in a club and proceeded to have sex with her even though he knew that she was drunk and she was screwing his friend.

I dont think one person said it for what it really was, which was an unscrupulous young man with poor morals who took advantage of a drunk and loose woman but the woman got the blame anyway and that is usually the case in these types of matters.

For it to get that far, the prosecution definitely thought that they had a case against him and He was probably let off on a technicality
not that he was innocent.

mii4u:





i never said that the men has the right to cheat. pls read my post again. thanks

Never said anything about man having a right or not. Please read and digest.

I said you have the RIGHT to cheat, it is left for you to use it if you so wish. A RIGHT IS YOUR FREE GIFT TO USE AT WILL.

fancyupage:


Never said anything about man having a right or not. Please read and digest.

I said you have the RIGHT to cheat, it is left for you to use it if you so wish. A RIGHT IS YOUR FREE GIFT TO USE AT WILL.

Morally?
lawfully?
any other lly?

Honey, two wrongs can't make a right. If the husband cheats, it's wrong. If the wife cheats, it's wrong. And by wrong, I mean a sin against God and a crime against the law.

Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful thing, where you love each other in sickness and in health, in riches and in lack.

But what we have today is a situation where husband and wife have turned themselves to enemies. They allow their hearts to be filled with mutual distrust, acrimony and bitterness. Your spouse isn't your enemy, rather both of you should stand side by side to face your Common enemy. "One shall chase a thousand, but two shall chase ten thousand"

In the event where you have a cheating or abusive spouse, I think it's better to move out of his/her life instead of engaging him/her in wrongdoing.

fancyupage:

...my write up was not saying that a woman should cheat because her man cheated, I was clear, it meant that a man should expect to be treated as he treated his wife and not to expect anything different. The choice is that of the woman.

No woman had the RIGHT to cheat - under any circumstances. Neither does any man.

Here you're advocating retaliatory cheating. Let highlight the damages that will certainly arise from that act

1. You have compromised your body. You yourself will feel a guilt of worthlessness and shame. You will weep instead of enjoying the act.
2. You continue in the act and you would sear your conscience. Then you have begun to lose hold on your ability to determine what's right or wrong. That has a far reaching consequence on other aspects of your life.
3. You increase the risk of having HIV/AIDS and other STDs.
4. Broken heart
5. Broken home,
6. Broken head and the worst of all...
7. You could get killed.

I'm not even talking about the negative impacts on Other people in your life like your kids, parents, friends etc.

tearoses:


Morally?
lawfully?
any other lly?

Moral and law are sometimes different. A right is a right, a right to go to sexy party, a right to associate, a right to go to religious house, a right to seek for work or not, a right to have kids or not, a right to divorce,

Remember it may be morally wrong in state A but morally right in B. We humans set moral standards.

Localamos:


No woman had the RIGHT to cheat - under any circumstances. Neither does any man.

Here you're advocating retaliatory cheating. Let highlight the damages that will certainly arise from that act

1. You have compromised your body. You yourself will feel a guilt of worthlessness and shame. You will weep instead of enjoying the act.
2. You continue in the act and you would sear your conscience. Then you have begun to lose hold on your ability to determine what's right or wrong. That has a far reaching consequence on other aspects of your life.
3. You increase the risk of having HIV/AIDS and other STDs.
4. Broken heart
5. Broken home,
6. Broken head and the worst of all...
7. You could get killed.

I'm not even talking about the negative impacts on Other people in your life like your kids, parents, friends etc.

A RIGHT IS A RIGHT, you have the right to eat cheese every day but the consequences are there.

You have the right to drink full fat coke daily but the consequences are there

Consequences does not deny you the RIGHT.

Localamos:
Honey, two wrongs can't make a right. If the husband cheats, it's wrong. If the wife cheats, it's wrong. And by wrong, I mean a sin against God and a crime against the law.
Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful thing, where you love each other in sickness and in health, in riches and in lack.
But what we have today is a situation where husband and wife have turned themselves to enemies. They allow their hearts to be filled with mutual distrust, acrimony and bitterness. Your spouse isn't your enemy, rather both of you should stand side by side to face your Common enemy. "One shall chase a thousand, but two shall chase ten thousand"
In the event where you have a cheating or abusive spouse, I think it's better to move out of his/her life instead of engaging him/her in wrongdoing.

tearoses:
So If my husband cheats, I should go out and find a man to cheat with?
Even if its not my nature
Even if it means disrespecting myself
Will it make me feel better?
I doubt it
Revenge seems sweet until you do it and then realise that it doesn't feel that good after all.

The person you are cheating with you will eventually break up with
....and the next one
.....and the next one

You will be the side chick and be ducking and hiding from the other mans wife.
Better to leave the marriage than to put yourself through more unnecessary emotional stress
The day you have headache you will say maybe its because God is angry with you
Anyway I no get that kain power
im too high maintenance to be anyone's side chick.

Women have more emotional needs than men. We need more than just sex. How will the man I am cheating with be able to fill all those needs whist I am under someone else's roof?
Can he turn and give me a cuddle and kiss in the night whilst I am in my bed with my cheating husband and he is in bed at home with his wife?
Personally I think any woman that settles for this is just selling herself short.
Better to leave the marriage and find a 100% available & committed man. Not stolen minutes with lover boy in Macdonalds car park.

Localamos:
Honey, two wrongs can't make a right. If the husband cheats, it's wrong. If the wife cheats, it's wrong. And by wrong, I mean a sin against God and a crime against the law.
Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful thing, where you love each other in sickness and in health, in riches and in lack.
But what we have today is a situation where husband and wife have turned themselves to enemies. They allow their hearts to be filled with mutual distrust, acrimony and bitterness. Your spouse isn't your enemy, rather both of you should stand side by side to face your Common enemy. "One shall chase a thousand, but two shall chase ten thousand"
In the event where you have a cheating or abusive spouse, I think it's better to move out of his/her life instead of engaging him/her in wrongdoing.

I agree with your point of views. I think the summary of what the OP is saying is that cheating husbands should be treated the same way cheating wives are treated i.e no double standards.

tearoses:
So If my husband cheats, I should go out and find a man to cheat with?
Even if its not my nature
Even if it means disrespecting myself
Will it make me feel better?
I doubt it
Revenge seems sweet until you do it and then realise that it doesn't feel that good after all.

The person you are cheating with you will eventually break up with
....and the next one
.....and the next one

You will be the side chick and be ducking and hiding from the other mans wife.
Better to leave the marriage than to put yourself through more unnecessary emotional stress
The day you have headache you will say maybe its because God is angry with you
Anyway I no get that kain power
im too high maintenance to be anyone's side chick.

Women have more emotional needs than men. We need more than just sex. How will the man I am cheating with be able to fill all those needs whist I am under someone else's roof?
Can he turn and give me a cuddle and kiss in the night whilst I am in my bed with my cheating husband and he is in bed at home with his wife?
Personally I think any woman that settles for this is just selling herself short.
Better to leave the marriage and find a 100% available & committed man. Not stolen minutes with lover boy in Macdonalds car park.

@Bold:
Women and men have 'emotional' needs which may differ though.

In a book His needs/Her needs, the author opined each sex has 5 basic needs from the other and when some/all those needs are not fulfilled, cheating occurs while the marriage is still maintained for the other needs the cheated spouse provides.

E.g. Man A has a domestically capable who is not presentable/ doesn't like his hobbies. Man A then meets a fellow colleague lady B who loves footie and likes going to stadium. Man A might start cheating with Lady B because she meets the need of recreational companionship but he will not divorce his wife because she is a good cook & takes good care of the home.

That way, Man A has all his needs met.

Ditto a woman/wife.

tearoses:
Sweetcocoa the truth is that for whatever reason, when a woman cheats and is caught, the perceived "badness" is more than when a man cheats and is caught.
I don't know how it came to be, but that is just the plain truth.

So also a woman who leaves her kids and walks out is determined to be a worse human being than if a man ups and leaves his kids
Everyday we hear reunions of children who have forgiven their father but its rare to hear of reunions with mothers.

Please read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/3101122/nigerian-student-cleared-rape-uk

I was too tired to say anything on the thread yesterday, but please read the comments
Most people were like "thank God for the man, she is a wicked woman"

But the reality is that this man took home a lady he met in a club and proceeded to have sex with her even though he knew that she was drunk and she was screwing his friend.

I dont think one person said it for what it really was, which was an unscrupulous young man with poor morals who took advantage of a drunk and loose woman but the woman got the blame anyway and that is usually the case in these types of matters.

For it to get that far, the prosecution definitely thought that they had a case against him and He was probably let off on a technicality
not that he was innocent.

I know men get away easier with things like this but it shouldn't be so, and should we because of that, continue to turn blind eyes to the injustice and subtly encourage it, like the lady I quoted did?

I won't encourage anyone to cheat in revenge but I won't discourage someone who wants to either, so long as they feel they can face whatever happens afterwards.

Checked the thread and I agree with you, dude just took advantage of the girl but she is very silly to accuse him of rape, that's just crazy.

mii4u:





madam pls we are all entitled to our own opinion, I've just stated mine but if u feel otherwise doesn't make either of us wrong, it's subjective, but I stand strongly on miine. If u read my last sentence, I made it clear that it is not good for men to cheat, I never supported their cheating habit.

Yea well, when you are giving your opinion, make it sound like just your opinion and not like a proven fact.

Saying women fit hold body and men no fit, is a conclusive statement and that is open to be challenged.

now I can see why people come into a thread, types e pain am and runs out

fancyupage:


A RIGHT IS A RIGHT, you have the right to eat cheese every day but the consequences are there.

You have the right to drink full fat coke daily but the consequences are there

Consequences does not deny you the RIGHT.

It's not a right. It's a CHOICE - with manifold negative consequences.

And what is wrong is wrong. A man should not beat his wife. He should remain faithful to her. He should cherish and adore her. The wife should do same and if any condition should threaten her virtues, (I think) it's better for her to call it quits rather than compromise her body.

I won't judge any woman who has done this, but I tell you, it doesn't solve the problems on hand. Rather, it complicates it - usually to the detriment of the woman.

Localamos:


It's not a right. It's a CHOICE - with manifold negative consequences.

And what is wrong is wrong. A man should not beat his wife. He should remain faithful to her. He should cherish and adore her. The wife should do same and if any condition should threaten her virtues, (I think) it's better for her to call it quits rather than compromise her body.

I won't judge any woman who has done this, but I tell you, it doesn't solve the problems on hand. Rather, it complicates it - usually to the detriment of the woman.

IT EITHER YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO A CHOICE OR YOU DON'T.

Ability to choose is called FREEDOM. YOU CAN USE GRAMMAR, Every woman can choose freedom or slavery.

You do not have to cheat because your husband cheated but it is your choice to make, hence it is your RIGHT because you have the sole right to the choice.

fancyupage:


I agree with your option, it is one of the three options a woman has

one stay in the marriage and endure bitterness and abuses.

two find a boyfriend that may temporary help with your affectionate need

three divorce and seek a new relationship.

my write up was not saying that a woman should cheat because her man cheated, I was clear, it meant that a man should expect to be treated as he treated his wife and not to expect anything different. The choice is that of the woman.

how can cheating be an option? it should NEVER be as it is NOT right... and just because many deluded people indulge in that act, doesnt make it any more right. there are only 2 options: foolishly stay or divorce.

Do people in a marriage have the right to cheat? isn't it why its called cheat in the first place like the act is unfair to the next party and robs the other party of something like an agreed expectation in the relationship.

Amazing how a man who not only cheated on his wife but also had a child outside the marriage while married thinks he has a right to even talk about her alleged cheating