urahara:




Oga hardmirror no try hard mirroriize. Johnny abeg .

I am suffering from insomnia. Barely sleep 3hrs a day. Was hoping to find enough updates and comment here to keep me busy. Were is everyone

musKeeto:

Hey Chief SoL, how buddy? Been missing you

malvisguy212:
keep on working for the devil unknowingly. Listen!! Even the prophet in the bible don't really understand vision, they are only instructed to write what they see, when Ezekiel , jeremiah , isaiah use the word " I saw someone LIKE the son of man" what does it mean ? Even john in the book of revelation, john was describing a beast, the beast look like lion,horse, man, woman. John don't understand what he was seeing. He was only instructed to write what he saw , how much more canal minded men like you atheist. You guys don't know what you are doing, the devil is really at work hear. The end can come anytime, either by DEATH or whatever way God chose. Then you will have to give account of your sin. As for me, I intend to worship God till my last breath, their ain't know quitting on me. What about you ?

i deduced you learn all this from one giant humour book.

Episode 8

Job had shaved his head, left his beards untrimmed as he mourned his children, his wife also wore mourning clothes and they both mourned over their loss.

Back in hell Lucifer was wearing a long face, he had expected Job to renounce God by now but the man was busy mourning and lamenting, he was thinking about what to do when another thought came in.

"Yes that's it" He had to schedule an emergency meeting with God so he would propose other means of getting Job to bulge.

"Do you think he'll agree?" Abadeus asked wearing a worried face watching as Lucifer scampered for his phone to call God. He chuckled looked at Abadeus and shook his head.

"You probably don't know the guy, he'd do anything to satisfy and massage his extra-large ego" he told Abadeus who smiled and nodded.

In a while Lucifer had convinced Sachel, God's secretary that it was a meeting of utmost importance so he really needed to have a tete-a-tete with God.

Sachel hardly could refuse having gone on one or two raunchy escapades to hell a couple of times, the meeting was scheduled.

Just inside the throne room God sat with his hands on his face as the 24 elders kept going over their routines of throwing their crowns on ground, bowing with their heads touching the ground and singing

"holy holy holy lord......."

God rolled his eyes in utter frustration "These dumb bastards can't just give this a rest for a minute?" He blared out to no one in particular.

"But almighty, you have made them so" Sachel reminded tilting his face to the ground, he dare not look God squarely on the face.

"Yeah yeah i know, but this has grown dreadfully boring that i feel like throwing up, Jeeez what was i thinking when i made these guys?" He moaned slapping his fore-head.

Sachel shrugged, he too had also grown tired of those 24guys having to always stand before the throne to reel out God's schedules.

"No wonder Micheal asked for a transfer which ended up having me transfered here to watch this guys , i hate my Job" He thought casting a glaring look at the 24 elders who were rather uncaring to anything going on around them but continued their routine.

"Almighty majesty, you have a meeting with one of your sons today, Lucifer" Sachel announced just then Jesus emerged on the right moment to over hear the reminder.

"Uuurgh, Lucifer again today Father, seriously?" He groaned rolling his eyes.

"Sheeesh Jeez grow up" God replied waving his complaints off

Just then the small petit figure stepped in, with feet barely touching the ground, small head on a small body with pride and personality twice as big.

"Welcome Lucifer my son, how and what have you being up to?" God addressed.

"Nothing much just carrying out your little assignment and you know going to and fro here and there and roaming about" He replied in his already prepared syllables.

"So whats up with the Job dude, what's the latest? Jesus told me you've really dealt with the guy" God came again, Jesus twitched on his seat.

Lucifer grinned then replied "skin for skin. For his life a man would give everything he owns, but lay your hands on his flesh and bones and he will beef your a_ss"

"English bob, English, i am not ready for you proverbs today" God said in a mean tone.

"This is dumb!" Jesus remarked.

"Not another word young man!!" God warned taking back his gaze at Lucifer who still maintained his grin.

"what i mean father is, take away Job's wealth that won't affect him as much as afflicting his health, lets attack his skin"

God thought for a while chuckled a bit "So he aint bulged yet?" he asked.

"He will, in time with the right nudges" Lucifer replied. Jesus was dying to speak up but his words failed him.

"Brilliant idea luci, let's do it" God clapped out excitedly to the joyous excitement of Lucifer and Jesus got really pissed.

"WTF is this? How is this a brilliant plan. Damn this is real dumb!!!" He yelled as he walked away murmuring to himself.

"I am growing tired of your complains young man, one of these days i'm going to send your sorry a_ss to earth to learn your lessons, i'm seriously thinking about it!" God yelled back at him, he waved it aside taking giant strides out towards his chamber in total disgust at what was going on.

Lucifer took a simple bow and went on his way to continue his moves, "the game just got hotter and better" he thought to himself.

..Continued in next episode..

Immorttal:
i deduced you learn all this from one giant humour book.

alright.

Chai,





Even Angels need to get down sometimes

Wow what a fun read... now I understand why Jesus sorry ass was sent here to suffer in the hands of humans. Poor Jesus....

Now who will rescue Job

"I am growing tired of your complains young man, one of these days i'm going to send your sorry a_ss to earth to learn your lessons, i'm seriously thinking about it!" God yelled back at him, he waved it aside taking giant strides out towards his chamber in total disgust at what was going on."



This part got me cracking. That Jesus is just an "SU".

dragonEmperor:
Your user name is cool.★(･ิ ･ิ〃)


(*^_^*)

I guess you could call it...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...a CoolUsername.
YEEEEAAAHHH!!

Episode 9 coming soon guys, Nepa has been doing their own show, showing us their talent.

Pardon me but i'll update the episode 9 once i charge

"Wtf is this? How is this a brilliant plan. Damn this is really dumb!!!"He yelled as hw walked away murmuring to himself.


Lol.. Jesus using swear words

Episode 9




Jesus entered his chambers in growling anger, banging the door behind him rattling the golden door so much that it squeaked for the first time since literally forever.

He threw his golden belt on a hand cut polished marble table at the side, the belt slid off due to the force of the throw. He hissed hard didn't bother picking it up then dumped his whole weight on his soft extra-large king sized bed with a white bed spread edged with gold threads.

"I swear lucifer deh jazz dad!!" he ranted raising his fist into the air furiously.

"How els do you explain the fact that the guy turns into a literal moro_n and always falls for Lucifer's ridiculous plans?" He asked loudly to no one but himself.

He hissed again "So much for claiming all knowing"

Just then he started hearing faint voices from the left flank of his chambers where he usually keeps his house hold plants, it was weird cus it's out back and people rarely go there.

He got up and started walking towards that corner to see who was there.

At the extreme End of Jesus' chamber Angel Lachel and Jamiel stood talking, Jamiel was telling Lachel his experiences going over a raunchy escapade to hell.

"The girl-demon lucifer gave me nearly bonked me to oblivion" he reeled out excitedly "and she was so beautiful" he continued posing a dreamy look as the memories of his hell visit lingered on freshly on his mind.

"Shhhhhhh, bring down your voice" Lachel whispered peering around, "have you forgotten we are literally behind Jesus' chambers he might hear" betraying some untold fear.

"Calm down" Jamiel chuckled out "Jesus is always at the throne room this time of the day"

"Eeeehee speaking of which, what do you think exactly of this going bet between God and Lucifer over Job?" Jamiel added changing the subject.

"Bros e tire me, those two are literally dealing with the poor guy to see who is right and massage their over fed egos" Lachel sighed out.

"I really pity that guy"

"Who doesn't but what can we do, you can't just paw in when almighty is having fun with his creations" Lachel replied.

"Sometimes i wonder if the guy is really omniscient as they say, cus even i who is not omniscient can't fall for that childish taunting stunt of Lucifer's" Jamiel said with a blank unsure face.

"Aaah forget that, its just a ruse to cover his incompetence. What on the universe sake does Omniscience mean?" Lachel replied chuckling "There is nothing like that"

Just then Jesus opened the window facing out of that part of his chamber, he rarely open them only when he wants to look at his plants. Jamiel and Lachel were standing just beside his golden rose plant and they were startled immediately the window flew open.

"Sorry sir we are just........"

"Oh forget it, i heard everything and you guys are so right" he said smiling weirdly cus his eyes still showed a bolted in sadness.

Lachel and Jamiel looked at each other in total surprise, they had thought they were in total hot soup being that they were gossiping with the almighty and got caught by his Son, Jesus more like, who even seems he wanted to Join the conversation.

"You see guys i don't know how it is exactly Lucifer always confuses Father all the time" Jesus went on getting on his window seating astride it to get comfortable.

Both Lachel and Jamiel were scared to speak out but it was even weirder to keep silent when Jesus' is trying to have a conversation with you.

"It beats me Bro Jay" Lachel finally got the courage to say.

"This is exactly what happened in Eden" Jesus came again making the two angels pop their eyes in curiosity.

"In Eden?" they both asked.

"Yes, You see Father made a perfect garden in Eden so perfect that he usually leaves the splendour of his throne and heaven to go have a walk around eden on the young freshly made earth"

"Then what happend?" Jamiel asked as the two angels were getting increasingly comfortable.

"Then after he made Adam and eve, Lucifer somehow convinced him to add one more tree to the garden"

"WTF" Came Jamiel again

"Yeah you guessed right" Jesus replied and continued "He convinced father as usual and told him it would be cool and fun to test his new creations by putting the tree in Eden, and guess what? he did, he put the God damn tree of 'good and evil' right there in Eden. Plucked it literally out of the heavenly garden and placed it on earth to test his new toys Adam and eve"
Jesus sighed looked around gloomily then continued.

"And then Father knowing just how curious man was, just went ahead and was like 'Don't eat this fruit' to Adam and Eve, you know the first thing the bit_ch Eve did?, went right ahead and ate the damn fruit!!!" He sounded a little bit angry now.

"That is literally God's fault then, why put the tree there?" Lachel heard himself say not knowing when those words escaped his mouth.

"Yeah but God would blame every other person but himself, that's just how huge his ego is. He literally punished the poor snake for nothing and then blamed his creatures for something that was literally his fault" Jesus replied.

"You are right bro Jay" Jamiel came in "I mean who would blame his product for being bad and not himself for making a bad product?"

They talked way into the wee hours of the evening after which Jesus felt a bit better and they dispersed so the angels could go about their duties and Jesus would have his usual evening foot wash.

- - - - -

Job was seating in his now empty home, no servant, food or even money to buy some.
A plate of lamb stew his wife made was in front of him, one of their neighbours had given them a small part of a young lamb he slew out of pity.

Job stared at the small watery stew in front of him, there was nothing he dreaded more than being hungry except eating a meal from his wife, she was a terrible cook and nagged a lot even at it.

He knew he had no choice if he wished to survive, he had to swallow them like medicine even so the overly salty stew nearly melted his tongue but he swallowed them none the less, knowing fully well they might not get as lucky as get another meal for the day.

Just as he ate a sudden cold dropped on him, a pricking pin-like pains all over his body followed by an unbearably itchy sensation all over.

Lucifer had just unleashed one of the most severe skin diseases he had created in his lab on the poor unsuspecting Job just when he thought his troubles couldn't get much worse, God and lucifer just proved him dead wrong.

"shi_t just got real" Lucifer chuckled to himself as he had Job inflicted with the nasty licking itchy sore disease.


Continued in next episode..

"Shit just got real"

Lol... nice one Johnny

frank317:
Lol... nice one Johnny

The story is dropping a lot of mind pricking points for people to think over..
But ayam innocent ooo, no say na me tell you

johnydon22:


The story is dropping a lot of mind pricking points for people to think over..

But ayam innocent ooo, no say na me tell you

You are right Johnnydon.
Anyone who reads these should be evaluating their religious dogmas.

You've warned them...

johnydon22:


The story is dropping a lot of mind pricking points for people to think over..

But ayam innocent ooo, no say na me tell you

Of course it is....if God exists, he should be evaluating his past actions after reading this

Pyrrho:
You are right Johnnydon.
Anyone who reads these should be evaluating their religious dogmas.

You've warned them...

Any sane mind that reads it must ask questions concerning what he has been fed to believe all his life

frank317:


Of course it is....if God exists, he should be evaluating his past actions after reading this

Hahahahahaha No be small... Probably repent too if ego would allow it to

If you dont believe in Christianity , why not just leave it, why ridicule it so much

. You know you cant try this with Islam


I m really shocked that you are Igbo. What went wrong?

Larryfly:
If you dont believe in Christianity , why not just leave it, why ridicule it so much

. You know you cant try this with Islam


I m really shocked that you are Igbo. What went wrong?

Don't u have pity for Job?
How u ask him what went wrong... he felt bad for Job, that's what went wrong. What's right with u if u have no pity for Job?

Larryfly:
If you dont believe in Christianity , why not just leave it, why ridicule it so much

. You know you cant try this with Islam


I m really shocked that you are Igbo. What went wrong?

If telling stories based on your religious fundamentals is as same ridiculing it then something is seriously wrong with your religious fundamentals.

2ndly no idea should be above ridicule. it is a tool that panel beats human idea into a better shape.

If science, sex, politics and every other human idea can be placed under ridicule then why not Religion surely, you can never deny others the right to say what they want.

I have written against Islam many times here so there is really nothing to it..
https://www.nairaland.com/2694704/muhammed-flying-horse
https://www.nairaland.com/3047568/christianity-islam-two-sides-same
https://www.nairaland.com/2243457/muslims-justice
https://www.nairaland.com/2420021/islamic-sharia-death-sentence-kano
These are Just few of my threads against Islam, now remind me again i can't try this with Islam?.. LOL... People

We shouldn't be so damn respectful to ridiculous ideas or we'd have to respect every other nonsensical idea, whim or coercion out there.

By the way JOB is a Judaic story not a Christian story..

If you don't want your beliefs ridiculed, don't have ridiculous beliefs...

i gave a clean direct warning before starting this story.

How ever this story makes you feel is YOUR OWN BUSINESS simply don't read it if you can't swallow it.

frank317:


Don't u have pity for Job?
How u ask him what went wrong... he felt bad for Job, that's what went wrong. What's right with u if u have no pity for Job?

Christians are the most ridiculous hypocritical lot i know of, they feel like it is their divine mandate to propagate their religion and ridicule others openly but they would want to deny others the right to ridicule theirs.

He is asking i save Christianity the ridicule, why?

-Because Christianity don't ridicule other religions?
-Remember they don't go around pouring their religions on others
-they don't inconsiderately disturb others with bangs and shouts from their church
-Yeah Christians don't go about knocking on our doors to smear crap on our faces
-they don't come to your buses to pour out their ridiculous beliefs.
-they don't force little children to learn their religions in school
-they don't litter every nook and cranny of the nation with ware house churches
-they don't ridicule the traditional beliefs and even burn shrines unprovoked.
-remember Christians don't go about telling atheists how they'd burn..lol..
-Remember Christians don't go about telling other religions how ridiculous their beliefs are.

here is one big truth Christians would be the ones persecuting others but would be the ones shouting they are being persecuted..

they think it's their right to propagate their religion openly but feel like denying others the right of doing same or challenging it.

they do all the things i listed above, not to talk of the radio, t.v and everywhere but just a small internet niche an atheist uses to voice out his own ideas about religion. Christians wants to take that away too, they so bad want to save their religion from scrutiny, questions, ridicule and criticism.

showing just how vulnerable these beliefs are, the truth is always naked needs no protection. . Anything that needs to be protected like this is not far from being a LIE.

Oh well like i said Anybody who don't want their beliefs ridiculed shouldn't be having ridiculous beliefs since their belief is literally ridicule against itself.

I have no apologies to anybody and more is actually coming!!

LoJ:

Hey Chief SoL, how buddy? Been missing you

I'm good, Bro. Just laying low. Mod got my account. Hope ur good.

johnydon22:
The story you are about to read is a fantasy, a fictitious work of the writer Johnydon22 inspired by the biblical myth of Job.

[img]http://4.bp..com/-NWwZhU_vWow/VaUwbJ6U9sI/AAAAAAAADW8/_KcEy9B7OqI/s280/warning.png[/img]

By virtue of your beliefs if you'll find this work of literature offensive to your person or belief please DO NOT READ!!!

But if you care to read, see it as a work of literature inspired by a fascinating myth for your pleasure or as a tickle for some deep serious thoughts..

The writer is not responsible for how ever this story makes you feel, happy, sad or angry. That is sorely your business.


I'll be posting episode by episode ..

In order to make reading easier i will be adding links that will take the reader directly to the episode they want to read for easy access.

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Episode 9 New Update

Come and finish dis ur tory

reallest:


Come and finish dis ur tory

Of course Madam i will finish, its just work deh take my time and stupi_d NEPA no go give their papa light when i have time


Anyway you'll get an episode update tonight

johnydon22:


Of course Madam i will finish, its just work deh take my time and stupi_d NEPA no go give their papa light when i have light.

Anyway you'll get an episode update tonight

Yay keep it coming bro
As for musKeeto /sonoflucifer, am still preparing for your special deliverance. Those white demons can't succeed..You must finish your stories

Johnydon22 ....does your pm work ??.....deres dis matter at hand

dblackninja:

Yay keep it coming bro
As for musKeeto /sonoflucifer, am still preparing for your special deliverance. Those white demons can't succeed..You must finish your stories

Liljeez:
Johnydon22 ....does your pm work ??.....deres dis matter at hand

Yes my pm works... you can send directly to Johnydon22@yahoo.com though to avoid to protocols of NL

johnydon22:


Yes my pm works... you can send directly to Johnydon22@yahoo.com though to avoid to protocols of NL

Alryt....thanks