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Did I Act Too Desperate?? - Family - Nairaland

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Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Myhonor(f): 10:49am On May 26, 2016
Hello landers... I just created the thread because am confused... I started dating dis introvert because I thought dey were d best in relationships... My date is very calm, gentle, a gud cook and very intelligent.. He is actually a medical student in his finals... He is a kul guy but he has some annoying flaws.. He is kinda strange.. There are times he just gets angry for no reason.. This has happened like twice now.... After some time I asked him y he behaves like dat and he told me dat happens to him ever since he was young, dat he just gets angry and won't be in the mood to talk to anyone... He apologized so I 4gave him.. There was a time he dreamt I was pregnant so we both laughed about it den I asked wat if I get pregnant wat is he going to do... All he said was dat he was going to deny the pregnancy. .. I asked if he was serious he said yes and he was being honest with me(don't even know if he was still joking) so I just forgot about that issue... So there was a time we were discussing and I asked him wats going to happen to us after we graduate becus we both stay in different states.. I stay in delta and he stays in ph but we both attend the same sch.. After asking him dat he said he hasn't tot about it but it was gonna be difficult for him to be in a long relationship because we wud barely see each other.. I told him not to worry becus my sis is still around in ph but he was saying he might do his housemanship in lag or abuja and probably be staying with his uncles making it difficult to accommodate me.. I was disappointed with his response tho, so I asked him if he even has future plans for me dat he should tell me now instead of wasting my time... He told me he loves me but he hasn't really tot about dat... He said I was expecting too much from him and he is scared of disappointing me later in d future... He later told me he was going to think about everything and give me a response nextweek....d problem is dat I feel i acted too desperate by asking if he has future plans for me bcus am still young just 21 and he is 24.. . But I just wanted to be sure I wasn't wasting my time with him.... Sometimes I just feel like breaking up with him but I can't bcus I really love him.. I still have mature suitors asking me out but am scared because I think dey just want to have sex and I don't wanna be jumping from one relationship to another.... But dis my bf has not even made future plans for both of us ... So please i need mature advice on what to do dats y I posted it on this section....Thanks all.. .
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by emmykingkong: 10:53am On May 26, 2016
kk let me tink about it
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by sunnydayasaba(m): 10:57am On May 26, 2016
Myhonor:
Hello landers... I just created the thread because am confused... I started dating dis introvert because I thought dey were d best in relationships... My date is very calm, gentle, a gud cook and very intelligent.. He is actually a medical student in his finals... He is a kul guy but he has some annoying flaws.. He is kinda strange.. There are times he just gets angry for no reason.. This has happened like twice now.... After some time I asked him y he behaves like dat and he told me dat happens to him ever since he was young, dat he just gets angry and won't be in the mood to talk to anyone... He apologized so I 4gave him.. There was a time he dreamt I was pregnant so we both laughed about it den I asked wat if I get pregnant wat is he going to do... All he said was dat he was going to deny the pregnancy. .. I asked if he was serious he said yes and he was being honest with me(don't even know if he was still joking) so I just forgot about that issue... So there was a time we were discussing and I asked him wats going to happen to us after we graduate becus we both stay in different states.. I stay in delta and he stays in ph but we both attend the same sch.. After asking him dat he said he hasn't tot about it but it was gonna be difficult for him to be in a long relationship because we wud barely see each other.. I told him not to worry becus my sis is still around in ph but he was saying he might do his housemanship in lag or abuja and probably be staying with his uncles making it difficult to accommodate me.. I was disappointed with his response tho, so I asked him if he even has future plans for me dat he should tell me now instead of wasting my time... He told me he loves me but he hasn't really tot about dat... He said I was expecting too much from him and he is scared of disappointing me later in d future... He later told me he was going to think about everything and give me a response nextweek....d problem is dat I feel i acted too desperate by asking if he has future plans for me bcus am still young just 21 and he is 24.. . But I just wanted to be sure I wasn't wasting my time with him.... Sometimes I just feel like breaking up with him but I can't bcus I really love him.. I still have mature suitors asking me out but am scared because I think dey just want to have sex and I don't wanna be jumping from one relationship to another.... But dis my bf has not even made future plans for both of us ... So please i need mature advice on what to do dats y I posted it on this section....Thanks all.. .
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by sunnydayasaba(m): 10:58am On May 26, 2016
[quote au
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by sunnydayasaba(m): 10:58am On May 26, 2016
Myhonor:
Hello landers... I just created the thread because am confused... I started dating dis introvert because I thought dey were d best in relationships... My date is very calm, gentle, a gud cook and very intelligent.. He is actually a medical student in his finals... He is a kul guy but he has some annoying flaws.. He is kinda strange.. There are times he just gets angry for no reason.. This has happened like twice now.... After some time I asked him y he behaves like dat and he told me dat happens to him ever since he was young, dat he just gets angry and won't be in the mood to talk to anyone... He apologized so I 4gave him.. There was a time he dreamt I was pregnant so we both laughed about it den I asked wat if I get pregnant wat is he going to do... All he said was dat he was going to deny the pregnancy. .. I asked if he was serious he said yes and he was being honest with me(don't even know if he was still joking) so I just forgot about that issue... So there was a time we were discussing and I asked him wats going to happen to us after we graduate becus we both stay in different states.. I stay in delta and he stays in ph but we both attend the same sch.. After asking him dat he said he hasn't tot about it but it was gonna be difficult for him to be in a long relationship because we wud barely see each other.. I told him not to worry becus my sis is still around in ph but he was saying he might do his housemanship in lag or abuja and probably be staying with his uncles making it difficult to accommodate me.. I was disappointed with his response tho, so I asked him if he even has future plans for me dat he should tell me now instead of wasting my time... He told me he loves me but he hasn't really tot about dat... He said I was expecting too much from him and he is scared of disappointing me later in d future... He later told me he was going to think about everything and give me a response nextweek....d problem is dat I feel i acted too desperate by asking if he has future plans for me bcus am still young just 21 and he is 24.. . But I just wanted to be sure I wasn't wasting my time with him.... Sometimes I just feel like breaking up with him but I can't bcus I really love him.. I still have mature suitors asking me out but am scared because I think dey just want to have sex and I don't wanna be jumping from one relationship to another.... But dis my bf has not even made future plans for both of us ... So please i need mature advice on what to do dats y I posted it on this section....Thanks all.. .



Go and read your book, At 21 you talking abt future plans, Get a gud grade, graduate and let successful men come running after you. Your not in love yet, your just in lust. Open ur eyes and think with your brain. All you should need from any man now is FRIENDSHIP without any commitment or string attached not some fuckmate.


You can't determine who your future husband will be now, So face your studies so you can determine your grades

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by jashar(f): 11:03am On May 26, 2016
Nne.... why are you rushing the stages of your life?
@21. Biko, focus on your life and develop your self as much as you can.
Discover yourself 1st before one man will come and complicate your life cheesy(albeit in a good way wink ).

Oh yeah most importantly. Stop pre-marital sex.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Nobody: 11:11am On May 26, 2016
@Myhonor

For how long have you guys been together?
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Myhonor(f): 11:17am On May 26, 2016
sunnydayasaba:




Go and read your book, At 21 you talking abt future plans, Get a gud grade, graduate and let successful men come running after you. Your not in love yet, your just in lust. Open ur eyes and think with your brain. All you should need from any man now is FRIENDSHIP without any commitment or string attached not some fuckmate.


You can't determine who your future husband will be now, So face your studies so you can determine your grades
thanks for the advice

2 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Myhonor(f): 11:18am On May 26, 2016
jashar:
Nne.... why are you rushing the stages of your life?
@21. Biko, focus on your life and develop your self as much as you can.
Discover yourself 1st before one man will come and complicate your life cheesy(albeit in a good way wink ).

Oh yeah most importantly. Stop pre-marital sex.
thanks alot

2 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Myhonor(f): 11:19am On May 26, 2016
Mindfulness:
@Myhonor

For how long have you guys been together?
6months
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Beremx(f): 11:29am On May 26, 2016
jashar:
Nne.... why are you rushing the stages of your life?
@21. Biko, focus on your life and develop your self as much as you can.
Discover yourself 1st before one man will come and complicate your life cheesy(albeit in a good way wink ).

Oh yeah most importantly. Stop pre-marital sex.
Are you a virgin?

Op, concentrate on your studies for now. suitors will always come around when the time is right.

4 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Nobody: 11:30am On May 26, 2016
Myhonor:
6months

Why would you want to talk about 'unwanted pregnancies'?

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Fadamant: 11:40am On May 26, 2016
You are 21. He is 24. You have dated each other for 6 months and you want to marry him? Please, free yourself from that game of deception.

11 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Onegai(f): 11:42am On May 26, 2016
And the rush to make him commit is why....?

He doesn't have plans for you. He's not going to say it aloud but he doesn't. He's got a lot on his plate (Medicine is not beans to study or practise in Nigeria), he may not quite have the same depth of feeling for you as you have for him (and for Pete's sake don't try and do anything to "tie him down"wink or he's just not that into you. I dunno, but what is clear is that he doesn't have plans for you, because he has told you with his mouth so you best believe him. And that is not a sin. 6 months at 21 years is pretty short. Give him some time like 3 more months and keep things casual. Don't put your heart into this, so if it doesn't work out, you're not devastated (you'll be hurt but not losing weight-crying-praying-fasting-overnight manhating-sorrow devastation wink). Keep yourself busy. If he changes his mind, great! If not, you dated for a year, learnt something new and are willing to move on afterwards.

Now, as for your other mature toasters, well it's upto you to decide if you wanna rush off from this guy and rush headlong into their arms (God knows why. You do realise you're going to spend the rest of your life wishing you were single, not a parent and free right? grin Reality101).

Don't sleep with anyone. Not unless you're sure you won't regret whatever happens afterwards (and I'm referring to your feelings).

14 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by jashar(f): 11:49am On May 26, 2016
Beremx:
Are you a virgin?

Op, concentrate on your studies for now. suitors will always come around when the time is right.

@ bolded.... undecided and it's your business how?
Even if I'm not, does that mean I still engage in pre-marital sex? Maybe you've not heard of the transforming power of God.

I gave my advice, give yours without involving me bikonu.....

10 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by jashar(f): 11:51am On May 26, 2016
Myhonor:
thanks alot


You're welcome dear. May God strengthen you to make the right choices in this life. kiss

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Beremx(f): 12:08pm On May 26, 2016
jashar:


@ bolded.... undecided and it's your business how?
Even if I'm not, does that mean I still engage in pre-marital sex? Maybe you've not heard of the transforming power of God.

I gave my advice, give yours without involving me bikonu.....
Ok you don't engage in premarital sex? Thank God for you.
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by jashar(f): 12:17pm On May 26, 2016
Beremx:
Ok you don't engage in premarital sex? Thank God for you.

smiley amen.

4 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Dheartless: 12:23pm On May 26, 2016
But to be honest most women are desperados when it concerns relationship future plans o.

Na so some these ones wan put chain for my neck, now a days I dey fear to even say I love you talk more to press b... Erm something.

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Nobody: 1:46pm On May 26, 2016
Dheartless:
But to be honest most women are desperados when it concerns relationship future plans o.

Na so some these ones wan put chain for my neck, now a days I dey fear to even say I love you talk more to press b... Erm something.

Is desperation / insecurity not one of the most off-putting traits?
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by bukatyne(f): 2:16pm On May 26, 2016
@Myhonor:

You are 21yrs and he's 24yrs....

You are not old yet not too young to know the direction of your relationship.
.
Baby doctor has told you he is not interested/he hasn't thought of a long time relationship and I must say I give him kudos (that kind of truthfulness is commendable. I must also say your thoughtfulness on knowing the direction of your relationship is a nice one)

That aside, you need to seat down to map out your life at 21.

What kind of life do you want?

School >>>> Job >>>>>> Marriage?
School >>>> Marriage >>> Job? etc. etc.

Where do you see yourself in future? What kind of person are you? What kind of husband would complement your person? What kind of husband do you want?

It is only when you answer these questions truthfully you begin to think of a relationship and marriage

@Mature suitors coming your way: You mean mature suitors just visit your parents that they want to marry you or they are coming your way directly?

5 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Fkforyou(m): 2:44pm On May 26, 2016
Hmm...the things guys my age see in the hands of girls though.... undecided
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Myhonor(f): 2:57pm On May 26, 2016
bukatyne:
@Myhonor:

You are 21yrs and he's 24yrs....

You are not old yet not too young to know the direction of your relationship.
.
Baby doctor has told you he is not interested/he hasn't thought of a long time relationship and I must say I give him kudos (that kind of truthfulness is commendable. I must also say your thoughtfulness on knowing the direction of your relationship is a nice one)

That aside, you need to seat down to map out your life at 21.

What kind of life do you want?

School >>>> Job >>>>>> Marriage?
School >>>> Marriage >>> Job? etc. etc.

Where do you see yourself in future? What kind of person are you? What kind of husband would complement your person? What kind of husband do you want?

It is only when you answer these questions truthfully you begin to think of a relationship and marriage

@Mature suitors coming your way: You mean mature suitors just visit your parents that they want to marry you or they are coming your way directly?


thanks alot. .. I appreciate

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by byvan03: 3:37pm On May 26, 2016
Bukatyne has said all, leave this little boy to grow and consider other things she pointed out too.
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by WHOcarex: 3:53pm On May 26, 2016
Lol. Op is in LUST. I can relate to the feelings. **Op be like; awwww a medical student, ph boy, uncles in Abuja and Lagos, plus the qualities you mentioned above, awww I want this guy, he should just graduate so that we'd get married, but would he want to marry me? Maybe I should get pregnant for him, but first let me use style to find out his view about us hence all the dream and future talks**

Hey!!!! Wake up! Don't ruin your life and most importantly the life of an innocent boy with your day dream. Cos by the time reality slap you on the face, you will start cursing the day you were born.

I have much to say but I nor get time. A word is enough for the wise.
Caio!

4 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by bukatyne(f): 4:53pm On May 26, 2016
byvan03:
Bukatyne has said all, leave this little boy to grow and consider other things she pointed out too.

Thanks dear.

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by Blade21: 5:09pm On May 26, 2016
bukatyne:
@Myhonor:

You are 21yrs and he's 24yrs....

You are not old yet not too young to know the direction of your relationship.
.
Baby doctor has told you he is not interested/he hasn't thought of a long time relationship and I must say I give him kudos (that kind of truthfulness is commendable. I must also say your thoughtfulness on knowing the direction of your relationship is a nice one)

That aside, you need to seat down to map out your life at 21.

What kind of life do you want?

School >>>> Job >>>>>> Marriage?
School >>>> Marriage >>> Job? etc. etc.

Where do you see yourself in future? What kind of person are you? What kind of husband would complement your person? What kind of husband do you want?

It is only when you answer these questions truthfully you begin to think of a relationship and marriage

@Mature suitors coming your way: You mean mature suitors just visit your parents that they want to marry you or they are coming your way directly?


great advice I like you can be E friends grin
bukatyne:
@Myhonor:

You are 21yrs and he's 24yrs....

You are not old yet not too young to know the direction of your relationship.
.
Baby doctor has told you he is not interested/he hasn't thought of a long time relationship and I must say I give him kudos (that kind of truthfulness is commendable. I must also say your thoughtfulness on knowing the direction of your relationship is a nice one)

That aside, you need to seat down to map out your life at 21.

What kind of life do you want?

School >>>> Job >>>>>> Marriage?
School >>>> Marriage >>> Job? etc. etc.

Where do you see yourself in future? What kind of person are you? What kind of husband would complement your person? What kind of husband do you want?

It is only when you answer these questions truthfully you begin to think of a relationship and marriage

@Mature suitors coming your way: You mean mature suitors just visit your parents that they want to marry you or they are coming your way directly?


great advice I like you can be E friends
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by thorpido(m): 5:13pm On May 26, 2016
@24yrs old,the guy is too young to know exactly what direction ge is going and he is being truthful with you by letting you know he can't make promises now.You're 21yrs old and you should also pay more attention to your studies rather than thinking about marriage with someone who cannot even commit.
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by bukatyne(f): 5:17pm On May 26, 2016
thorpido post=45993203[b:
]@24yrs old,the guy is too young to know exactly what direction ge is going[/b] and he is being truthful with you by letting you know he can't make promises now.You're 21yrs old and you should also pay more attention to your studies rather than thinking about marriage with someone who cannot even commit.

@bold:

Some 24yr olds know what they want out of life.

6 Likes

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by bukatyne(f): 5:18pm On May 26, 2016
Blade21:
great advice I like you can be E friends grin great advice I like you can be E friends

Lol!

Thank you cheesy

+1 E-friend kiss kiss kiss kiss

Hope say your blade no go cut me sha cheesy
Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by treasuredkids(f): 5:21pm On May 26, 2016
@op, babe its clear the guy has no plans for u. Just move on as mere friends with nothing attached. More so I feel its too early for you @21 to be looking for life time commitments that will distract u from achieving other tins of import. At this stage, just take ur time to discover things you are good at and how u can be productive to ur generation. As a lady develop a mindset outside the traditional "marry and bear kids and be there for that special man". More so pls change that mindset of introverts being the best lover. It does not apply in all cases. Their baggage is not easy to carry abeg.

1 Like

Re: Did I Act Too Desperate?? by thorpido(m): 5:26pm On May 26, 2016
bukatyne:


@bold:

Some 24yr olds know what they want out of life.

That's true but in this guy's situation,he does not.I don't blame him though because he is still dealing with the pressures of medical school.

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