I am new here so I need support and constructive criticism is allowed

What exactly do you seek to know?

lolaHikmat:
I am new here so I need support and constructive criticism is allowed

Been long I followed any story here....l like ur name, so lemme follow

Love they say happens and sometimes can be baffling. Some people spend their whole life looking for love in the wrong place.

Chapter one
She ooze self confidence. The perfect definition of beauty and class. Under all the facade is the real deal. Her best weapon is her smile it can melt the hardest ice. Meet Stella George the Daughter of Senator George. A graduate of Business Administration from Harvard university, little wonder about her smartness. After Graduation she went to fashion school and now has one of the biggest fashion house in Nigeria, all thanks to her father and proper connection. At 22 she is ranked the youngest and most successful fashionista in the country.
She seems to have everything and a loving man the envy of most ladies.
Preparing for her vacation in Paris with her boyfriend she decided to surprise him. He has been in Paris since Monday and she promised to join him on Wednesday so as to have time to wrap things up in the shop.
"Hello dear I am sorry I will not be able to make today got a bridal dress I must deliver"
"Can't you let your PA handle it"
"No dear the mother is an acquaintance of my dad"
"But we planned this out I have been here alone since Monday it is boring without you"
"I know and I will make it up to you dear"
"I pray, so when are you coming"
"First thing tomorrow morning"
"I guess I have no choice then"
"Thanks for your understanding, you are one in a million, Love you big.
" Love you too"
Now for the killer move Stella board the plane smiling.
It was noon when she got to Paris. She left the airport and board a cab to the hotel.

wasak:

Been long I followed any story here....l like ur name, so lemme follow

Thanks

Omoluabi16:
What exactly do you seek to know?

I am writing a book

Omoluabi16:
What exactly do you seek to know?

I want encouragement and constructive criticism

lolaHikmat:


I want encouragement and constructive criticism

I can't encourage or criticize you until I've seen excerpts from the book. all the best tho..

The trip from the airport to the hotel felt like forever to her she can't wait to be in her lovers arm. Ruminating on how she met James, she can't help but smile. She felt lucky to have been able to get is attention. They both met when they where an undergraduate in the university and she has always had a crush on him so when he eventually noticed her it was a dream come true.
Who wouldn't have a crush on him one of the most handsome on campus and an African america. So crushed on him for 2years before a drama which involved her dad ensued that got him to notice her she was eternally grateful to God for that incident that led to the beginning of her relationship.
The sound of her phone jolted her to life , it was her business partner and best friend
" Hello Lola, sup"
" Nothing much, just wanted to know if you are there already"
"Yes I am "
"I know I should have adapted but wanted to know why you are hellbent over this guy, I don't just like his character you know"
" I don't know what is wrong with you but I thought I told you that I love this guy and he has been my source of happiness "
"Just can't help thinking he is a leech though" she said
"Lola he is my boyfriend and I would appreciate if you talk to him and address him with courtesy" Stella warned
"Sorry o madam just don't say I didn't warn you"
"Nothing is going to happen" she assured her friend
"OK ma just wanted to know you are save, when you are back we will hangout"
"Yes ma, Got to go I just arrived in the hotel talk to you later OK "
"Okay, but don't get to dirty uhmm. Take care of your self and bye"
"Bye"
That is Lola the one and only friend I have we make a great team she love clothes and is one of the most Beautiful girl I know. It is hard to tell who is the most beautiful between us. I am dark and she is light and I am a little taller. But we are like sisters and we love ourselves a lot. Thou I am older she is like the mom and I am her baby. She is equally wealthy and connected but it is hard to tell because she is too humble.
Erasing Lola's thought she proceeded to the reception. Head turned in her direction and she gave everyone a smile
"Hello " she said to the receptionist
"Welcome ma can you fill this form " Lady replied with her English heavily accented with French
"Sure"
"Here is your key , Enjoy you stay" the receptionists said
"Merci" she replied

She rode the elevator with excitement and full of smile.
"I can't wait to surprise him"
When she got to the room the door was opened. "perfect" she thought
She turned the knob and entered.

Chapter 2

"What the hell" She muttered
The sight before her got her rooted to the spot. It was her beloved boyfriend getting dirty with a lady she can place . She kept watching for sometime until she couldn't take it anymore. She turned silently and was about to walk out she she heard James call her name but she was blinded with tears.
She kept running and bumped into someone.
"Hey be careful" he called out to her but she kept moving.
Her heart was breaking, she was blinded with rage and sorrow. She kept moving with no destination in mind, she just want to leave the vicinity

She stopped walking after what seems like an hour and later gave in to the tears that flooded her eyes. She can't help but feel pains and sorrow, the man she love with everything she has has decided to betray her love and trust. She kept crying until late in the evening. Her phone started ringing. She kept ignoring it thinking it was him, after a while she decided to check who it was and it turned out to be Lola
"Hello" she greeted "Sorry I am bothering you, it is just that I want to be sure if Mrs. Rose has balanced up so her clothes can be delivered tomorrow" she asked
"Yea, she has it was when you travelled on Tuesday that she paid the balance into the company's account" she answered trying to conceal her teary voice.
"What is wrong with you" her friend demanded
"Nothing"
"Don't you dare lie to me, what is going on"
"I caught James cheating on me"
"What? her friend screamed over the phone
" yes I caught him"
" That bastard he so going to hear it from me. I will personally deal with him. He thinks he can cheat on you and go scout free, no way. I will make sure I show him that you can't cheat on my friend"
"Lola calm down okay"
" I won't that guy is a complete nitwit, how could he" she foamed
"it is okay"
"And I am not there with you how can I be sure you are going to be fyn" she went into her mother hen mode
"I will be"
" Make sure you leave him off your mind and enjoy your stay there, if possible go out and don't let him affect you okay?"
"okay"
"That's my girl but can't help but say I told you so"
"Lola!!!!!"
"Sorry, forgot you are hurting"
"Okay, dear got to go"
"Bye"
She dropped the call and made up her mind to return to the hotel, she got up and took a cab back. When she got to the hotel the receptionist told her James has left.
She sighed and entered the room, she decided to enjoy her stay and throw caution to the wind for the period of 2weeks she is to spend.
Dressed to kill she decided to hit the hotel club. Heads turned in her direction but she didn't seem to mind or be disturbed.

The moment she entered, he saw her the lady that bumped into him in the lobby. She is both beautiful and hot, "How can someone be this lovely" he thought.

Nice one,glued to d end.....

prisomic:
Nice one,glued to d end.....

Thanks

She placed her order and surveyed her environment and someone got her attention. He was breathtakingly handsome with a ruggedness that will take you breath away, the way and manner he sits gives a suggestion that he is a successful man and possibly a billionaire. She felt him watch her and her breathing hitched, when he stood up and headed her way , her heart beat increased.
"Hello" he greeted
"Hi"
"what is a pretty woman like you doing here alone"
"just chilling"
"Can I buy you a drink"
"Sure"
"Give her a bloody Mary" he told the barman
"Lovely choice"
They got talking and she found out a little about him. He is Dare by name and he is also a Nigerian but it has been long he went home, though he is planning to return soon. His family is based in Lagos too. He has a sister and he is supervising a project here in Paris. He is a Civil Engineer.
"Dance with me" he said
"okay"
The song was slow and he was holding her too close. They kept staring into each other eyes and it happened, they locked lips.
The kiss was everything, he kissed her with vigor that shook her to the core it was both gentle and demanding. She returned the kiss which had him groaning. They didn't know who broke the kiss.
"Let me take you to my room"
"okay" she replied.
They both ran and walked to the elevator once they were in the elevator they were in each others arm again the kiss was steamy. The elevator stopped and they made it to his suite in record time.
The moment he closed the door they continued he had her against the door and kept loving her mouth. One hand was on her breast and the other on her thighs. Her mind went to what she was doing, did she want to lose her virginity to a complete stranger a one night thing. She had planned giving it to James this night already before the mess.
"Are you okay" He asked
"Am I going too fast" he kept asking
"Should I stop"
" No please continue "
They made it to the bed and he kept doing crazy things to her body, he loved the sound that comes out of her mouth never heard a sexy moan all his life.
He undressed them both and she became shy when she noticed the way he kept staring at her body . He had only his short on while she was completely naked.
"UnCloth completely"she said
" Okay"
He pulled off his short and she inhaled ruggedly in, she kept thinking of how he will fit.
He used protection and entered her, and he felt her stiffen and cry out.
"Damn, you are a virgin aren't you"
"Yes"
"you should have told me"
"It doesn't matter now"
"I would have been gentler"
"can you now move please"
He smiled and started thrusting gently it was a beautiful feeling for her and when she reach her peak she crashed with him following suit.
They did again later in the night and fell into a peaceful sleep. She woke him up around dawn for more.
He woke up to an empty space in the m
orning with just a note

Thanks for a wonderful night.
Stella
No lady has ever walked out on him and he vowed to look for her.

A year later

It was as busy as always in the Muritala MUhammad airport. clad in complete Armani suit is Dare looking as exquisitely handsome as always. HE kept checking his wrist watch which shows that he is waiting for someone.
'Stella can you please hurry up' Lola screamed from the car
"coming" her friend replied entering the vehicle
" you know it has been long since i set my eyes on him and i miss him so much"
"so how come i have never seen him or his picture before, Lola we have been friends for almost ten years now and i don't know what your brother look like." she inquired
" I am sorry dear, it is just that i myself saw him last 10 years ago and it seems like he ran away from the world. I only have his childhood picture" she navigated her way into the parking loot.

They got down and headed in the direction of the entrance of the airport. one of their customers called the attention of Stella and she chatted with her for sometimes. Lola proceeded and saw her brother anxiously looking out for her.
"Hey" she called out
Her brother enveloped her in a hug.
"it has been so long i saw you " he told her
" At least you had my pictures I had nothing of you with me" she replied
"Oh"
" Lets get you home mom and Dad is waiting" she said
Stella arrived and was about to apologize when the word hanged in her mouth. Her whole world stopped and she kept staring at the man she lost her virginity to. she suddenly got her voice back
" Is this your brother" she asked hoarsely
" Yes, have you met before" Lola inquired

Chapter 3

Dare couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the reason for his sleepless nights for a year now. The lady that had him waking up in the middle of the night aching.
"Yes" he replied before Stella can talk.
"What a small world" he directed at her
Stella kept her gaze to the floor, battling with different emotions. What should she do, how should she explain to Lola, how will she face him.
"Are you alright" Lola asked her.
That jolted her to life
"Yes" she replied.
"Let us move" Lola said cheerfully
She knew something was amiss and that her friend was disturbed she decided not to question her.
"Where did you guys meet" she couldn't help but ask.
"In Paris " her brother replied
" OK that should be a year ago"
"Yes" her brother replied
Stella was extremely quite throughout the whole journey. She just couldn't understand why life is treating her this way. How can he be her best friend's older brother she kept wondering. Of all
"we are home" Lola declared.
It was a happy re- union for the family and everyone was obviously happy.
"Mom I have to go now ma "Stella announced
" But dear you just arrived here " Lola's mom replied.
"I need to deliver a message for my Dad"she said.
" How is he by the way " Lola's father inquired
"He is fine sir" she hastily replied, and called out to Lola to let her know she is on her way .
"Okay, should I drop you?" she asked
"No I will find my way"
"I will see her to the gate" Dare suddenly announced.
"No you don't have to, you need to rest from such a long trip". she quickly said
" I insist"
She quietly let him lead her out of the house.
"So? he said
"so what?"
"Why did you leave that morning" he asked once they were outside
"I don't owe you an explanation" she replied
"Yes, you do and by God I am going to get it from you" he threatened.
"What will you do force words out of my mouth"
"Yes I that is what it takes"
"well I guess I have to go now"
" I will come for you"
Stella left the house with a very heavy heart .Her phone rang and she picked.
"Is this Stella George" the caller asked
"Yes, how may I help you" she inquired.
"Your dad was rushed here after he collapsed from heart failure" he is presently at the city hospital."
"What!!! I will be there right away" please lord protect him. She prayed.

Stella got to the hospital quickly, but she was directed to wait for the doctor that was attending to him. It seems like ages to her and she had various thought crossing her mind. She kept praying to God to please spare her father he is the only one she has, her mother died when she was 10 years of age. It was her father that has been in charge of her upbringing. Though a very busy man he had always been both a father and a mother. She needs him now more than ever.
The doctor came and told her to follow him to his office. She was told he had heart arrest and collapsed he was lucky to have been brought there on time. He has to spend 1 week in the hospital under proper medical attention, then they can decide when he is fit to leave.
After she left the doctor's office in tears she checked on her father and found him sleeping. She sat beside him and watched over him for hours. Around 6 pm she decided to put a call through to Lola
"Hello girlfriend" Lola answered
"Hi, I called to inform you that dad is in the hospital"
"what is wrong with him " she asked
"Nothing much, everything is under control now, just want you to know. I will be absent from the fashion house for some time"
"Have you eaten" Lola asked
"No, I have been pretty occupied"
"Which hospital are you right now, I will join you right away" Lola said.
"City hospital"
"Okay " Lola said.
Lola arrived 30 minutes later with a food flask and a change of clothe for her.
"I brought you these figure you won't leave his side" she said
"Thanks"
"How is he now"
"He is stable now"
"That is good"
"Please don't get yourself too worried, he is going to be fine"
"Thanks"
Lola stayed with her for 2hours then bade her goodbye.
She prayed throughout that night and made sure the press was kept out of the hospital premises.

I know I am just trying, but please I need your comments on what I have written. I am writing with a faulty laptop and so I make lot of mistakes but I need your corrections to know where I need to improve.
Thanks in anticipation

Captivating piece,ride on.

Missmossy:
Captivating piece,ride on.

Thank you so much

Missmossy:
Captivating piece,ride on.

Thank you so much, working on the next update

nyc nd captivatn story but let ur upload be a little lenghty or make it 2 upload weneave u wnts 2 upload

bummybummy:
nyc nd captivatn story but let ur upload be a little lenghty or make it 2 upload weneave u wnts 2 upload

OK thanks I will surely work on that.

After her father was discharged, she was warned to make sure he is not stressed or disturbed and everything he wants to be given to him and he needs maximum rest. She happily obeyed the doctors orders anything to bring her father to his feet. The Adams were really supporting throughout that period, they were the only one who stood by her. She will be forever grateful to them for the support given to her. She was happy she didn't have to face Dare at all for the past three weeks and at the same time it made her heart empty.
"You have a visitor " one of the maid told her .
"who"
"A Young man, ma"
"Okay I will be downstairs shortly"
She wondered who it was, she made her way downstairs and froze at the presence before her.
"Hi" Dare greeted.
"Hi, yourself"
"I wanted to check on, I had what happened to your father"
"Thanks"
"Lola who is there" Her father asked from the stairs
"Father you should be in resting"
"Stop treating me like a minor"
"I am not"
"Introduce me to your friend"
"He is not my friend he is Lola's brother"
" Malomo's son"
"Yes sir, I have heard a lot about you" Dare answered
"Welcome to my house, son. Your father told me you would arrive but due to my ailment I couldn't make it to the welcome party"
"It is Okay sir"
" How about, I host you and your family for dinner tomorrow "
" I would deliver the message "
"okay son, looking forward to meeting you very well"
Stella watched the exchange between her father and Dare and nearly lost it when her father invited dare to dinner the next day.Dare announced that he wants to be on his way and her father bade him goodbye and returned to his room.
"I will see you tomorrow" Dare told her, she saw him to his car and returned inside.

The next came, Stella was busy preparing for the Adams visit. She made sure the food was well cooked and had the maids arranged the dinning well. She bought different fruits. At around 6:30 she changed and made sure she was as simple in look as possible. The Adams arrived 30 minutes later and was welcomed. The men immediately took to discussing business and politics while Lola helped her in preparing the table. Dinner was delicious and Mrs Adams complimented her well. Her father took special liking to Dare to her dismay.
"So when do you plan to return" her father asked Dare
"Sir, I am actually back in Nigeria for good"
"Wow, that is good, so any plan on ground"
"I actually want to start my construction company here"
"That is good"
"I only need someone to help my feasibility study"
"Stella can do that"
"Dad I think Mr Dare can find another person" she pointed out.
"She would be perfect sir" Dare said eying her
"You will help him pumpkin, won't you" her father asked.
She felt cornered and didn't have a choice.
"Yes" she replied.
All through Lola was eying her suspiciously and felt there is something she is not telling her. Dare fixed her meeting with her at her shop and promised to pick her up on Monday.

****chapter 4****

Monday came with Stella been jumpy at work all through she vowed not to let Dare's presence affect her. Lola noticed her mood and asked if she wanted anything which she declined. At around 1pm Dare arrived looking all handsome, his sister attended to him immediately and Stella went to her office to round up the days work.
Lola asked her brother "What is between you and Stella, she has been jumpy and uncomfortable since you returned. She can barely spend 10mins in your presence"
"Nothing, we just have little unfinished business in Paris"
"Unfinished you say"
"Lola are you always this nosy"
"when it is about my friend, Yes"
"The thing is .....
" I am set" Stella announced cutting Dare's sentence midway .
Lola replied "okay dear have fun"
Dare guided Stella out by the arm, and help her settle in the car. The journey was quite until Dare broke it
"Why did you run that morning"
"I didn't run"
"What did you do"
"I only prevented the situation from been awkward",
" You think so"
"Yes"
"That was the best night of my life"
"So this is about sex"
"No but it is part of it "
"Let us just concentrate on getting your business settled"
Surprisingly they got along well and discussed various issues ranging from business to hobbies, the found out they like almost same things. They both shy away from going into their personal lives. Dare liked her character and the way she see things.

They continue their hunting until they found a suitable place not too far from her fashion house. Dare thanked her for her help and asked to take her out so that she can show him where to have fun in Lagos, but she declined.
"What if Lola is included "
"No problem then"
Dare vowed to do anything to get her to spend time with him. They decided to fix Thursday night and Dare said he was going to bring a friend along too.
Thursday arrived without much event, her father is now very better. She told him of her outing and he eagerly agreed.
The club was bubbling when they arrived and everyone was having fun Dare's friend, Subomi was equally very handsome but Stella had eyes for Dare alone. Everyone socialized and was enjoying the moment. Subomi asked Lola to dance which left Dare and Stella alone.
"should we dance"
"Yes"
They all got on the dance floor and soon Stella and Lola stole the show but the men too proved to be good dancers. It was a fun filled night for her.
She excused herself to go outside. She was enjoying the breeze when she felt a presence beside her.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look" Dare blew to her ears
"No"
"You are so beautiful that I find it difficult to keep my hands off you"
All the pent up emotions came rushing to the surface. She kept on staring at him an found it hard to swallow.
"Come here"
She hesitantly went into his arms. The kiss was urgent. it had the fervor of pent up emotions. They kept on kissing for long.
"We shouldn't be doing this " Stella said when it stopped
"Why not"
"You can't understand"
she said and left him standing confused

She got home Quietly and met her father waiting for her.
"Good evening Dad"
"Good evening dear"
"Why are you not in bed Yet"
"I have something very important to discuss with you"
"Hope it is not something difficult, that you had to wait up for me"
"It is important"
"Okay, dad"
"Your mother left a trust fund in your name and ask it to be given to you when you are 24 or the assets will be given out. But before you can claim this you must be married."
"What, why didn't you tell me before now"
"She made me promise not to tell you until 3 months to your birthday"
"But why"
"That is best known to her, I watched out hoping that you will bring a young man home"
"But Dad this is too sudden"
"I know, I just honored your mom final wish"
Good night pumpkin and sleep sweet".
Stella couldn't sleep well that night, event of the day kept thinking about the event of the day, from the kiss to the trust fund. She kept thinking of what to do, because right now she is not even in a relationship so getting married is like a miracle. An idea came to her mind.

Nice storyline following

Ride ön,kudos

CuteChiluv:
Nice storyline following

Thank you

more updates please

Gud write up,kip it cumin

Missmossy:
Ride ön,kudos

Thanks dear