3 quick questions;


1. Is it psychologically sensible for a woman to retain her father's name, yet fail to retain the Miss even in marriage?


2. What makes a woman "Mrs"?

A. Her father's name
B. Her husband's name?
C. Sex
D. The cheap/expensive ring?


3. Why do this category of women (Mrs My Father's Name) love to eat their cake and have it?

A. Misguided feminism
B. Social Media insanity
C. Bandwagon disease

Hehehehe. laughing in Swahili


1. NO

2. B

3. no idea.

1. No

2.B

3.all of the above

1. No
2.B
3. All of the above.

Different strokes, different folks...

"Mrs" might mean the world to girl A and mean much less to B. Not everyone is getting married for change in title.

1. No.
However, I have met married women/mothers who have strictly maintained their father's name, and all official documents, bank documents, work documents bear Miss xxxx. Neighbors, friends, church members etc call her Mrs yyyy though, since they don't know whether she's done a change of name or not. These are people who've been married more than a decade btw.
Their marriages are still strong. Its only work collegues that call them Miss, though we know they're married with kids.
2. E- The marriage ceremony itself.

Mrs is a label making it easy to identify a woman who's married. Officially, I think you can remain a miss, and still tick married in all your documents


3. I'm afraid my answer is D- non of the above.
People do that for different reasons. A lot of those that do it are children of influential folks that their father's name opens doors and opportunities for them, or some just like the feel of hyphenated names so bear both together, or some have made a name for themselves, and got married afterwards

They don't have to be addressed as Mrs. It's not necessary.
Usually it is meant for official documents where their marital status information is important. But otherwise it's not important during dialogue.

I know societies differ, so I'm probably talking to the choir. But your marital status shouldn't affect how people talk to you. I know my naija sisters feels adding Mrs. To their names should equal automatic respect. Earned or not. In my neck of the woods, everyone is Ms. X or Z. Nobody cares whether you're married or not.

Save it for your DH.

Messar refers to a married man and messar's refers to his property(be she saint or devil)

Mr. Aiyebekha
Mrs. Aiyebekha

That is how women are "wired "

That is how women want it.

I once asked a lady friend who got marrieD why she took up all her husband's names.... (She changed her middle name to her husband first name sef so her name became Esther John Chizzi)

She said every girl looks forward to changing her father' s name to her husband's name... It feels good to them... Makes them feel "pride ".... Like .... "I now have a man over me ...."

But me as a guy, I don't understand/can't make sense out of even a sentence out of everything she said....

How can a human being derive joy by changing name to another human being ' s name?

She's speaking for herself not all women.

Usually it's an adjustment for most women.

oweniwe:
That is how women are "wired "

That is how women want it.

I once asked a lady friend who got marrieD why she took up all her husband's names.... (She changed her middle name to her husband first name sef so her name became Esther John Chizzi)

She said every girl looks forward to changing her father' s name to her husband's name... It feels good to them... Makes them feel "pride ".... Like .... "I now have a man over me ...."

But me as a guy, I don't understand/can't make sense out of even a sentence out of everything she said....

How can a human being derive joy by changing name to another human being ' s name?

cococandy:
She's speaking for herself not all women.

Well...

But 95% of women want it like that....

95% women want to change their father's name to husband ' s name and be called Mrs...

In short, that's what women want...!!..

How does wanting to keep one's father's name relate to feminism

Anything some guys don't like these days must be tagged feminism and in negative light. People have various reasons for whatever they do, your points a, b, c might have nothing to do with it. Is it your name or theirs?

Every married woman is Mrs. X immediately they are joined in matrimony and so neighbours, church members etc. will refer to them as Mr. & Mrs. X whether she changes her name or not.

Some women decide not to adopt their husband's name for reasons best known to them.

Again, not every woman likes to be addressed as 'Mrs'.

HaneefahRN:
How does wanting to keep one's father's name relate to feminism

Anything some guys don't like these days must be tagged feminism and in negative light. People have various reasons for whatever they do, your points a, b, c might have nothing to do with it. Is it your name or theirs?

Feminism gives some people heart attack. .

I know Muslim wives are not to change their surnames to their husbands after marriage.

Modified because I just realised I wasted my time and MB on a thread that was jobless

HaneefahRN:
How does wanting to keep one's father's name relate to feminism

Anything some guys don't like these days must be tagged feminism and in negative light. People have various reasons for whatever they do, your points a, b, c might have nothing to do with it. Is it your name or theirs?

The fact you're asking that question gives credence to your ignorance about the history of 'name change' as regards marriage...apologies for the choice of words, but I'm sure you already know that I don't sugarcoat on here.

Retaining one's maiden name after marriage became more of a thing after the advent of gender equality cum feminism - examples of places where feminism and gender equality birthed it include USA, France, Greece, Belgium, Québec, Italy, etc. and oh, Nigeria of course.

With the exception of USA, it is now against the law for a woman to change her name legally after marriage in Greece, Belgium, Québec, and Italy...thanks to feminism.


** It should be clear however that there are actually cultures and countries where it has always been a tradition for women to attach their maiden names names to their surnames (not still compulsory though) - and off the top of my head, Spain and most spanish-speaking territories fall under this category.

It was actually the Spanish that started and made popular this new fad of hyphenated names for married women - it has always been a tradition for them but for every other person who does it, it is simply follow-follow or some supposed gender equality.

Korea and Malaysia also have a custom of women not changing their names at all after marriage (still not compulsory).



Now that I have listed these countries, especially those who have always had it as a custom for women to retain their maiden names,
What then is the excuse of a Nigerian woman who wants to retain her surname after marriage?

Ahh wait, I think I know the answer going by the OP's third question with the following options:

A. Misguided feminism
B. Social Media insanity
C. Bandwagon disease

The answer is All of the above

crackhaus:

The fact you're asking that question gives credence to your ignorance about the history of 'name change' as regards marriage...apologies for the choice of words, but I'm sure you already know that I don't sugarcoat on here.

Retaining one's maiden name after marriage became more of a thing after the advent of gender equality cum feminism - examples of places where feminism and gender equality birthed it include USA, France, Greece, Belgium, Québec, Italy, etc. and oh, Nigeria of course.

With the exception of USA, it is now against the law for a woman to change her name legally after marriage in Greece, Belgium, Québec, and Italy...thanks to feminism.


** It should be clear however that there are actually cultures and countries where it has always been a tradition for women to attach their maiden names names to their surnames (not still compulsory though) - and off the top of my head, Spain and most spanish-speaking territories fall under this category.

It was actually the Spanish that started and made popular this new fad of hyphenated names for married women - it has always been a tradition for them but for every other person who does it, it is simply follow-follow or some supposed gender equality.

Korea and Malaysia also have a custom of women not changing their names at all after marriage (still not compulsory).



Now that I have listed these countries, especially those who have always had it as a custom for women to retain their maiden names,
What then is the excuse of a Nigerian woman who wants to retain her surname after marriage?

Ahh wait, I think I know the answer going by the OP's third question with the following options:

A. Misguided feminism
B. Social Media insanity
C. Bandwagon disease

The answer is All of the above

Not everything you read on the internet is true or maybe there is a misunderstanding. I lived in Greece for two entire years and I have not met one woman who has not taken her husband's name after marriage, not one. Moreover, the first grandson takes his granfather's name too.

I spent a considerable time in Athens, Thessaloniki and Halkidiki and I have visited the region close to Meteora.

bukatyne:


Feminism gives some people heart attack. .

I know Muslim wives are not to change their surnames to their husbands after marriage.

Na so.. you know! Knower...

What is the name of your president's wife?

You don't need to reply, just look into a mirror and shout it loud.

crackhaus:

Na so.. you know! Knower...

What is the name of your president's wife?

You don't need to reply, just look into a mirror and shout it loud.

Common sense is NOT common afterall...

Christians are not to commit adultery, yet they commit daily.

Muslim wives are not to change their surnames.

https://www.nairaland.com/931733/why-married-muslim-woman-must
https://islamqa.info/en/6241

Mindfulness:


Not everything you read on the internet is true or maybe there is a misunderstanding. I lived in Greece for two entire years and I have not met one woman who has not taken her husband's name after marriage, not one. Moreover, the first grandson takes his granfather's name too.

I spent a considerable time in Athens, Thessaloniki and Halkidiki and I have visited the region close to Meteora.

You don come again with your incomplete assimilated reading technique

Isn't this the bit in my comment you're trying to refute?
With the exception of USA, it is now against the law for a woman to change her name legally after marriage in Greece, Belgium, Québec, and Italy... thanks to feminism

Did you by any chance miss the word I underlined, or you just didn't see any thing in my entire post to disagree with so you had to manufacture something?

According to The Guardian, Times, and The Greek Reporter, just to mention but a few:
Since 1983, when Greece adopted a new marriage law which guaranteed gender equality between the spouses, women in Greece are required to keep their birth names for their whole life.

It is now left to you to send a mail to any of those sources telling them that Greece never passed that law in 1983, because you've travelled to Greece and didn't meet any woman who didn't change her surname.

bukatyne:


Common sense is NOT common afterall...

Christians are not to commit adultery, yet they commit daily.

Muslim wives are not to change their surnames.

https://www.nairaland.com/931733/why-married-muslim-woman-must
https://islamqa.info/en/6241

Quote the verse of the Qur'an that says so specifically and stop making a f00l of yourself by posting links to someone who made his own subjective interpretation on Nairaland, or on a blog.

And she had the guts to type 'common sense'.

All the popular Northern Muslim women you've heard of past and present, which ones are not bearing their husband's surname?

They are all 'Infidels' and guilty of 'Haram' I'm sure.

Dictionary definition of Mrs:
noun: Mrs
''the title used before a surname or full name to address or refer to a married woman without a higher or honorific or professional title. "Mrs Sally Jones"

Question one: Since the dictionary has made it clear that Mrs. is a title used before a surname{which could either be that of her father or her husband's] then yes, I think it is sensible for her to retain her father's name if she wants to and if her husband has no problem with it . And I don't think married women asked to be referred to as 'Miss'.

Question 2: What makes a woman Mrs is that she's married. It doesn't matter whether it's her father or husband's name.

Question 3: What do you mean by 'love to eat their cake and have it'. Of course I know what that idiom means - what I want to know is how it is connected? And what does misguided feminism, social media insanity and bandwagon disease have to do with a woman choosing to retain her father's name?

HaneefahRN:
How does wanting to keep one's father's name relate to feminism

Anything some guys don't like these days must be tagged feminism and in negative light. People have various reasons for whatever they do, your points a, b, c might have nothing to do with it. Is it your name or theirs?

The same way one witless imbécile ignorantly claimed that homosexuality was invented by the Whites and that it is related with feminism.

crackhaus:

You don come again with your incomplete assimilated reading technique

Isn't this the bit in my comment you're trying to refute?
With the exception of USA, it is now against the law for a woman to change her name legally after marriage in Greece, Belgium, Québec, and Italy... thanks to feminism

Did you by any chance miss the word I underlined, or you just didn't see any thing in my entire post to disagree with so you had to manufacture something?

According to The Guardian, Times, and The Greek Reporter, just to mention but a few:
Since 1983, when Greece adopted a new marriage law which guaranteed gender equality between the spouses, women in Greece are required to keep their birth names for their whole life.

It is now left to you to send a mail to any of those sources telling them that Greece never passed that law in 1983 because you've travelled to Greece and didn't meet any woman who didn't change her surname.

Female politicians/authors/singers/wives of national football players who have adopted their husband's name:

1. Aleka Papariga
2. Gianna Angelopoulos-Daskalaki
3. Alkistis Protopsalti
4. Nana Karagouni
5. Efi Katsourani


I have just seen that many female celebrities keep their maiden name but at the same time many take on their husband's name. As for the ordinary part of the Greek population, according to my experience, it is common for women to take on their husband's name.

Try to find the law that says that it is against the law to adopt the husband's name because I think that the law allows women to accept their husband's name or to keep their maiden name or to retain the one and add the other. I think it's about choice, maiden name, husband's name or hyphenated name.

And while we are at it, we should also mention that in Spain women drop their mother's name and hyphenate their father's name with that of their husband.

Mindfulness:



Female politicians/authors/singers/wives of national football players who have adopted their husband's name:

1. Aleka Papariga
2. Gianna Angelopoulos-Daskalaki
3. Alkistis Protopsalti
4. Nana Karagouni
5. Efi Katsourani


I have just seen that many female celebrities keep their maiden name but at the same time many take on their husband's name. As for the ordinary part of the Greek population, according to my experience, it is common for women to take on their husband's name.

Try to find the law that says that it is against the law to adopt the husband's name because I think that the law allows women to accept their husband's name or to keep their maiden name or to retain the one and add the other. I think it's about choice, maiden name, husband's name or hyphenated name.

[s]And while we are at it, we should also mention that in Spain women drop their mother's name and hyphenate their father's name with that of their husband. [/s]

Madam, I didn't make the laws...
Take your issues with those who did.

The bit I cancelled out has already been acknowledged - hyphenated names is Spanish tradition like I said, what else are you trying to say?

darkenedrebel:


The same way one witless imbécile ignorantly claimed that homosexuality was invented by the Whites and that it is related with feminism.

People assume it is a white construct because it's whites (more specifically, Americans ) that popularized it and are still trying to force it down everyone's throats - it certainly isn't a Negro construct. No single African/Nigerian here who grew up in Africa/Nigeria in the 80s and before, can claim he/she grew up seeing two men or two women having sex together as normal.

Did you hear about Queen Elizabeth II of Britain saying NO to gay marriage recently?
Care to tell us why...

Shaybebaby,

your boyfriend/fiance/hubby is Italian, isn't he?
Can you please ask him if Italian women take on their husband's name after marriage or if it is more common to keep one's maiden name?

And is it against the law - as Crackhaus claims - to take on your hubby's name?

crackhaus:

Madam, I didn't make the laws...
Take your issues with those who did.

The bit I cancelled out has already been acknowledged - hyphenated names is a Spanish tradition like I said, what else are you trying to say?

I have no issues. I am just questioning what you have written there based on my personal experience and if it was against the law to take on the husband's name, women wouldn't have their husband's name (politicians, celebrities etc.) because it would be impossible to change it.

Mindfulness:
Shaybebaby,

your boyfriend/fiance/hubby is Italian, isn't he?
Can you please ask him if Italian women take on their husband's name after marriage or if it is more common to keep one's maiden name?

And is it against the law - as Crackhaus claims - to take on your hubby's name?

Italian Civil Code (article 143 bis)
Read up on that, maybe I misread it.

I'm not the Italian legislature...take it up with them, not me.

Mindfulness:
Shaybebaby,

your boyfriend/fiance/hubby is Italian, isn't he?
Can you please ask him if Italian women take on their husband's name after marriage or if it is more common to keep one's maiden name?

And is it against the law - as Crackhaus claims - to take on your hubby's name?

I'll ask him when he gets home. Not sure if it is an issue over there.

Mindfulness:


I have no issues. I am just questioning what you have written there based on my personal experience and if it was against the law to take on the husband's name, women wouldn't have their husband's name (politicians, celebrities etc.) because it would be impossible to change it.

What you should be trying to find out is if it is indeed a fact that Greece enacted a law in 1983 stating that women should legally keep their birth name till death, and leave me the fvck alone.