kcowen:
I don't think you need any other advise,this is the first time I have seen nairalanders speak in one mind & voice & if they do please you better take the advise and run kabakaba

Make me sef mark register.

Op Runn ohhhh! The prognosis is very poor! Unless u want to use your life as experiment, but I assure u, it's not worth it!

No matter what the man have done in the past, he still deserves some respect at least while you were there. The Bible says honour your father and mother so that your days on the planet earth will be long. This word of God will stand to the end of the world whether you believe it or not.
So, for your wife to be to treat her own father with disdain even in your presence speaks louder of an impending doom. The mother may do what she with her husband but definitely not the daughter. It's disastrous.
Be careful, my brother.

harsysky:
[b]Dear Op,
My comment may not actually make sense to anyone, but I don't care. I'm writing directly to you Op because you've come here for a solution. I've also read a lot of people's comments, especially the " run for your life!"

I would have easily said you should run, but come to think of it, "No one is perfect".
You ain't, Op, no matter how sympathetic and sensitive you may think you are. That girl of yours may have undergone series of assaults or brain-wiring that most or some of us have also undergone, Only that hers might have gotten into her so , so much. It may not be her fault actually. Be rest assured she can come of it and love like never before.

I like you a lot Op. Your sense of care and observation, I respect so much. You never can tell if you would have acted more than your wife-to-be if you were in her shoes. Leaving her and not picking her calls means one thing to me. You wana be those kind of people who know how to deal with a problem but leave it because they respect people's say more than theirs.
Talk to your girl. Atleast, there is something you've seen in her that has attracted you to her. Assuming you didn't see her Dad, you wouldn't be here complaining, right? Don't think the next person you will meet will be that saint. You could save that family. The head of that family might have done something anyone could even kill him for ,but I believe they still feed him atleast. It means there is still 1% love for the old man. They can still love him to the fullest but need to be convinced that one does not pay evil with evil otherwise evil will be in circulation.

I can never forget the advice my aunt gave me one precious day. I was having a problem with my Dad. I was thinking he never loved me. Then , the auto-correct advice came and it goes thus: " the only man who hates you is one who shuts you out all round. Does your Dad shut you out?". " No" I replied
"Then he loves you more than anything" she concluded

I believed her whole-heartedly. she is now my mentor.
[/b]

*chews kola*
*gulps dry gin*...
Erm...bros...so wen ur unmarried sista tells u one day she went to her fiance's ause nd saw him beating his mom mercilessly..which appears to be a routine from wat he told her; dat his mum did dis and dat in d past..
U wud repeat dis same epistle baa?

Flee brother Flee!!! If you can fly, fly!!!!

Be prepared to be the next house boy.

0ubenji:

Exactly my point mehn..but the wickedness in dem won't let him go unless dey av finished him..

Well, there's nothing to finish 'cause there's actually nothing left. That's the worse you can reduce a man to.

Op: Please yield to all these good advises ooo....

There's no point in investigating further. The lady said the mom turned him to that because he maltreated her, that's wickedness and your fiancee already has that spirit(mentality) in her.

Please quit as soon as possible before she carry your name go do something...

Run for ur life cus u maybe another victim

No matter what the man have done in the past, he still deserves some respect at least while you were there. The Bible says honour your father and mother so that your days on the planet earth will be long. This word of God will stand to the end of the world whether you believe it or not.
So, for your wife to be to treat her own father with disdain even in your presence speaks louder of an impending doom. The mother may do what she likes with her husband but definitely not the daughter. It's disastrous. Anyway, there is no problem with out a solution. You may be the solution God is sending to that family. Take time to find out what actually happened and then to mediate. If positive, good but if not, run for your life.
Be careful, my brother.

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

my nigga pls run....or better srill talk to d fada.bt no matter wat, run xus d mom wld b a big part of ur marriage

Okijajuju1:



Smartest Comment on this thread so far.

smartest comment indeed. will you be on sit and your momma give your dad money to buy fuel. and you still believed that he shouldn't make hasty decision. OK oooo

Okudiover:
Be prepared to be the next house boy.

the guy have his own ride. he will be very effective running errands.

nnamdibig:
If you are not ready to be like the man you saw, its time to move on. Because your fiancé will be taking advice from her mum.

on are second thought, if you have really decided to marry the girl, then go and spend some times with the man. am sure he will have something to tell you. at least you hear his own side of the story.

Are you sure the man is going to remember anything?

Pascalin90:
I would suggest you have a one-on-one chat with the man,that is,if truly you love the girl and wish to marry her. The man may be guilty of the accusations because there is no smoke without fire they say. But looking at it from a critical point of view, why hasn't your fiancee told you about this all along? She too needs to be investigated to avoid stories that touch.

Dis needless time u fink he shud spend investigating..
If he spends it seekin God in prayers and lookin very well dis time for anoda woman..he'll definitely see somtin better..

ChappyChase:
House Boy 2 Loading...................

I have three (3) points of advice for you.

Point 1: RUN
Point 2: RUNNNNNN!!!!!!
Point 3: RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for your life.

Note: Run only if your life matters to you.

Jamean:


Well, there's nothing to finish 'cause there's actually nothing left. That's the worse you can reduce a man to.

Lolz..bae..u juz only defined ur own definition of FINISH..
Who knws..!!...dey might av more sinister plans in mind to actually FINISH him..
Wickedness is an infinite term..

Ol boy, you're in luck. Congrats! Abeg befriend your future father-in-law quickly. Get useful tips on how to flourish as a servant, maiguard, errand boy and the like in your own house.

Una commentators sef too funny. This dude wants reassurance that all will be fine, that the man deserves his fate, that as long as the he behaves himself, his future wife will not do such to him, yada yada yada. Oblige him na.

He has proposed, he must marry na. Proposed to a woman whose home he knew nothing about, not even if her Dad was dead or alive.

If my junior brother dare ask this kind of help from me, I will use kokobo to design his body and reset/format his brain again.

Haba!

harsysky:
Dear Op,
My comment may not actually make sense to anyone, but I don't care. I'm writing directly to you Op because you've come here for a solution. I've also read a lot of people's comments, especially the " run for your life!"

I would have easily said you should run, but come to think of it, "[b]No one is perfect".
You ain't, Op, no matter how sympathetic and sensitive you may think you are. That girl of yours may have undergone series of assaults or brain-wiring that most or some of us have also undergone, Only that hers might have gotten into her so , so much. It may not be her fault actually. Be rest assured she can come of it and love like never before.

I like you a lot Op. Your sense of care and observation, I respect so much. You never can tell if you would have acted more than your wife-to-be if you were in her shoes. Leaving her and not picking her calls means one thing to me. You wana be those kind of people who know how to deal with a problem but leave it because they respect people's say more than theirs.
Talk to your girl. Atleast, there is something you've seen in her that has attracted you to her. Assuming you didn't see her Dad, you wouldn't be here complaining, right? Don't think the next person you will meet will be that saint. You could save that family. The head of that family might have done something anyone could even kill him for ,but I believe they still feed him atleast. It means there is still 1% love for the old man. They can still love him to the fullest but need to be convinced that one does not pay evil with evil otherwise evil will be in circulation.

I can never forget the advice my aunt gave me one precious day. I was having a problem with my Dad. I was thinking he never loved me. Then , the auto-correct advice came and it goes thus: " the only man who hates you is one who shuts you out all round. Does your Dad shut you out?". " No" I replied
"Then he loves you more than anything" she concluded

I believed her whole-heartedly. she is now my mentor.
[/b]

Uncle, I don't think you understand what the op was saying or probably you know nothing on how it feels to be in that situation. You said they still love him a bit by still feeding him. No matter what the man did does that warrant the woman trashing his destiny and turning him to a house boy? and you said the guy should save the family. It would have been very easy for the guy to work on the lady if she herself see it as a bad thing and not when she's supporting her mum and explaining to op why they did that. We have a case like that in my family(my uncle married a strange wife and the only thing we can do to save our uncle is prayer cos we were not there when he made his choice and we can't poke nose so much before she finish everyone in the family). I can't advice the op to go further...and I pray God will direct his steps sha...

No one is perfect as you've rightly said but some imperfections are still bearable....

Na wa o. Some ladies here are saying the man should have been forgiven by the woman as if it were to be them they would even be at peace with the man let alone accomodate and feed him. OP, pleaseelp me to tell the lady that her mother should send the father back to the woman that jeopardized his life. Awon oloriburuku okunrin.

habeemurfty:
Try nd find out wht is really goin on from their neighbours, I dont tink d excuses ur fiancee give are genuine. But I will not advise u to marry d lady, cos she nd d moda will av control over ur life.

Sinx u're of d opinion dat d OP shud nt marry the yeye gurl..
Biko..wat is the investigation for?
Need I tel u aw many ppl CURIOSITY has killed??

WinningSun:

smartest comment indeed. will you be on sit and your momma give your dad money to buy fuel. and you still believed that he shouldn't make hasty decision. OK oooo

No point trying to explain things to you.

It would be an exercise in futility.

@ sammily

Do not run, not yet. Help that man. He is a man like you. Go to him, have a moment with him alone. If possible, have him dress up, take him somewhere that his wife and daughter will not be present to influence his statements, gain his confidence and hear the entire stories of the lives.


Do not run, without changing the man's life for the better. This is the core reason that your God took you to that man, it might be for the man's salvation that you are there.

Billyonaire:
@ sammily
Do not run, not yet. Help that man. He is a man like you. Go to him, have a moment with him alone. If possible, have him dress up, take him somewhere that his wife and daughter will not be present to influence his statements, gain his confidence and hear the entire stories of the lives.
Do not run, without changing the man's life for the better. This is the core reason that your God took you to that man, it might be for the man's salvation that you are there.

wow. Well said.
Pls op help that man. I can just imagine what he is going through. Must be really hard.

whatever the man might have done in the past will never warrant that type of treatment in your own very presence,, bro think twice o,The FAM no get shame at all,be prayerful as you RUN away make their charm no reach you pls!!!!smh

U don enter one chance already, u need breakup quietly else, u go begin watch plate for their house before u do wedding sef

i believe they have charmed d man and dats wickedness cos no matter what he might have done in d past doesnt warrant such treatment. its nt a new thing hearing abt cases of husband maltreating wives (a senerio i hate). my dad maltreated my mom and even left us wen i was still at d age of 3, he got married to anoda woman nd later years he fell sick due to cancer and we all came around him nd cared for him nt minding what he has done in d past. Even when he was on d sick bed, we accorded him the respect he deserved until he passed on and my mom forgave him cos d bible said we shud forgive those who trepass against us so our sins may be forgiven.
ur girl need to remember dat d bible says honor ur father and mother so dat ur days may be long. ur girl will surely follow her mom footstep cos she believe in her. let her know ur mind before u run away so she can learn lessons.

Izen:


You've still not answered me. Was what the man did right? The evil men do eventually catch up with them. I'm sure you think what the man did to the family was nothing compared to this. If only you knew how much women endure. I may not do the same in the same position but I have no pity for him.

She has a choice of leaving him to his fate instead of destroying him in that manner. And again it's possible the man didn't do anything to them. There's this home video, 'Tea or coffee' , watch it

my brother,I beg u in the name of God,run for ur lyf.

Hum' its alright, but its retrogression. Show little kindness. Be a good example and drop embitterness.

My brother, that thing called love don't last forever. She claims to love you now,but believe me, you are going to be treated same way some day. It's a simple sign for you to run for your life. No look back too.

Exactly, he was very lucky

glossy6:


The fact that they displayed that stupid behaviour before a total stranger, an in law to be speaks volume. The op is lucky that he witnessed it "live" and not a prophecy by one pastor,