I started dating this girl in 2013 when she was still seeking admission. I was already done with school managing a little business for survival when she got admitted into the university. My plan was to get married to her if things went as planned.

A year after she gained admission,, she started exhibiting some questionable characters which seemed hard to cope with. She started acting like she was too busy for me, she started replying cold tgo my chat, she no longer cared and a few to mention. Well, I wasn't surprised because ladies often turn a new leaf the moment they get into the university and start having various toasters. Though, I could read these were signs of possible break up due to the pressure from various suitors and perhaps, better offers. I tried to rekindle the fire of our love by having a heart to heart talk with her but all my effort seemed to be a waste.

Her strange attitude, which I could no longer cope with, persisted until I told her I needed a break hoping she would beg me and make things right. To my greatest surprise, she said was cool with it if that was what I wanted . We went separate ways for about 7 months after which we reconciled in April, this year. After a lengthy discussion blaming each other for our unseriousness and childishness, I inquired if she was still intact the way I left her and she told me she was. (Though, I would have confirmed that during cuddling but she was on her period that day)

She went home that day and later gave me a call back telling me she needed to see me the next day in order to make a confession. The moment she said it, I already knew she had lost it but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. She came the next day telling me she carelessly lost to a dude whom she wasn't dating it barely a month after we parted ways. . I was so disappointed and sad that, how could someone I dated for one and half year without touching just throw herself to a man whom met just a month after to defile her.

She cried and pleaded for mercy and since forgiveness is from God, I forgave her even though I found it hard to get it off my chest. Now, I can still see some components of infidelity in her despite trying my best not to reminisce on the past. Though, I still love her but not as before and I no longer trust her like I used to do

Nairalander, don't you think it's too risky to continue with a relationship considering the fact that the TRUST is gone already? Please am I wasting my time with this lady or I should let her go just to save myself from worry and nightmare?

Please your advice is highly needed

collect ur share n disembark

Eiyaa

Please forgive her if she's really sincere about the whole thing, shít happens, that's if you really love her as you claim..

Laveda:
Eiyaa

Please forgive her if she's really sincere about the whole thing, shít happens, that's if you really love her as you claim..

I'm trying hard to

my tongue is under lock

nnamdiokere45:
collect ur share n disembark

Well, I already collected my own share unaccountable number of times since she came back... My only fear is that I don't want to make a wrong choice

I inquired if she was still
intact the way I left her and she told me
she was. (Though, I would have confirmed that during cuddling but she
was on her period that day).
How were u sure she was pure if you hadn't touch her before? Cuz she told you so?

dump the b!tch they ain't loyal.
you will never be able to trust her again so just end it b4 anyone gets more hurt

Break up nd live ur life o jare

blaquemyc:
I inquired if she was still
intact the way I left her and she told me
she was. (Though, I would have confirmed that during cuddling but she
was on her period that day).
How were u sure she was pure if you hadn't touch her before? Cuz she told you so?

At least you're a man so you should understand what I'm trying to say.

I dont understand the fuss, you guys broke up, so why do you feel cheated? Its not like its your property, and she can give it to who ever she likes. She didn't sleep with him while you were dating, besides what's the probability you guys will end up married if you had been her first?

henrylowe:
I started dating this girl in 2013 when she was still seeking admission. I was already done with school managing a little business for survival when she got admitted into the university. My plan was to get married to her if things went as planned.

A year after she gained admission,, she started exhibiting some questionable characters which seemed hard to cope with. She started acting like she was too busy for me, she started replying cold to my chat, she no longer cared and a few to mention. Well, I wasn't surprised because ladies often turn a new leaf the moment they start having so many toasters. Though, I could read these were signs of possible break up due to the pressure from various suitors and perhaps, better offers. I tried to rekindle the fire of our love by having a heart to heart talk with her but all my effort seemed to be a waste.

Her strange attitude, which I could no longer cope with, persisted until I told her I needed a break hoping she would beg me and make things right. To my greatest surprise, she said was cool with it if that was what I wanted . We went separate ways for about 7 months after which we reconciled in April, this year. After a lengthy discussion blaming each other for our unseriousness and childishness, I inquired if she was still intact the way I left her and she told me she was. (Though, I would have confirmed that during cuddling but she was on her period that day)

She went home that day and later gave me a call back telling me she needed to see me the next day in order to make a confession. The moment she said it, I already knew she had lost it but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. She came the next day telling me she carelessly lost to a dude whom she wasn't dating it barely a month after we parted ways. . I was so disappointed and sad that, how could someone I dated for one and half year without touching just throw herself to a man whom met just a month after to defile her.

She cried and pleaded for mercy and since forgiveness is from God, I forgave her even though I found it hard to get it off my chest. Now, I can still see some components of infidelity in her despite trying my best not to reminisce on the past. Though, I still love her but not as before and I no longer trust her like I used to do

Nairalander, don't you think it's too risky to continue with a relationship considering the fact that the TRUST is gone already? Please am I wasting my time with this lady or I should let her go just to save myself from worry and nightmare?

Please your advice is highly needed

If she is truly sorry It's better you forgive and forget.
But if she is not really sorry. It's better you move on

henrylowe:
At least you're a man so you should understand what I'm trying to say.

I feel your pain sha. Just so you knw, gals are smart, very very smart.

JustHere2Observ:
I dont understand the fuss, you guys broke up, so why do you feel cheated? Its not like its your property, and she can give it to who ever she likes. She didn't sleep with him while you were dating, besides what's the probability you guys will end up married if you had been her first?

hmmmm

how could someone I dated for one and half year without touching just throw herself to a man whom met just a month after to defile her.

I inquired if she was still intact the way I left her and she told me she was. (Though, I would have confirmed that during cuddling but she was on her period that day

smh just listen to yourself. You be amateur sha that haven't understood how the mind of an average naija girl works. Look, if you have a gf and you are not bang**g her right, trust me, she will never appreciate you nor respect you as her man. If you like buy the entire world for her, her cold and cheating attitude won't change towards you. She will always *cheat* on u with another sharp guy.

Most naija girls don't want love( well they don't even understand what love means). What they mostly want is goodsex, your money and your bad boy behavior. I really pity amateurish guys like you sha. Na una dey show our naija girls love pass and na bad boys dey enjoy una girlfriends pass. lol

Op take heart sha bcuz na you fuckup, so don't blame ur gal

The truth is, she already lost before the break up that was why she started exhibiting some questionable characters in order to piss you off. Even though she claimed she met another that she gave it just barely a month after your separation, it clearly shows that lady has no integrity at all.. Just a month? it's funny I must say

lagosflexcamp:
smh. Just listen to yourself. You be amateur sha that haven't understood how the mind of an average naija girl works. Look if you have a gf and you are not bang**g her right, trust me, she will never appreciate you nor respect you as her man. If you buy the entire world for her, her cold and cheating attitude won't change towards you.

Most naija girls don't want love( well they don't even understand what love means). What they mostly want is goodsex, your money and your bad boy behavior. I really pity amateurish guys like you sha. Na una dey show our naija girls love pass and na bad boys dey enjoy una girlfriends pass.

Op take heart sha bcuz na you fuckup, so don't blame ur gal

It's not like I'm dull or something, since I aim at marrying her, I felt there was no need to rush sex

Op its better you let her go...it won't work out and it'll become worst if you get married to her...don't manage her because obviously that's what your trying to do...


Sometimes love and sex isn't just enough to determine a relationship....

halfricanadian:
Break up nd live ur life o jare

You that is always crying here on Nairaland? So you can actually sound mean but when it comes to yours, the whole romance land will hear about it....Talk about hypocrisy...no hard feelings though

Chop ur own b4 it's too late

henrylowe:
It's not like I'm dull or something, since I aim at marrying her, I felt there was no need to rush sex

That's what you wanted, the *no sex thingy* until both of you tie the knots. But she(your gf) doesn't want that even though she hasn't told you. Look when a girl agrees to date you and do all that bf/gf stuff with you, she has already given you access to her body, to spend on her and to flirt with her. Your failure not to do two outta that three things I mentioned will definitely see your relationship hit a big rock.

If u still have her phone number, put a call tru her now, tell her to come see u tonight that u wanna discuss something very important(emphasize on the importance) with her. When she eventually shows up later, make sure you make some good love to her that she will scream your name. And if she don't change her demeaning attitude towards you the next day when you guys meet or when you talk to her via phone, then I guess am a fool.

Your girl *likes* you, is just that you are ignoring her sexual urge and that's why she is cold with you.

My 2cents

I think the relationship is dead and you might be tempted to cheat since your love for her is not that strong again, you should break up with her before its too late at least you are not breaking her heart, she is definitely still seeing the one who took her virginity, ladies doesn't forget the person they loss their viginity to like that

Laveda:
Eiyaa

Please forgive her if she's really sincere about the whole thing, shít happens, that's if you really love her as you claim..

No!

It hurt after you preserve a girl until after marriage,she later give the thing out to a guy who didn't struggle like you to have it.Any girl who get an admission into a university should be dump.

Lalasticlala. Come and see food oh!

mizzbouqui:
I think the relationship is dead and you might be tempted to cheat since your love for her is not that strong again, you should break up with her before its too late at least you are not breaking her heart, she is definitely still seeing the one who took her virginity, ladies doesn't forget the person they loss their viginity to like that

I think she still has a bond with the dude till date

Women will always support each order,why dont you just give him a neutral advice instead of been biase.SHIT HAPPENS,she does not deserve dat guy my dearie.GUY MY ADVICE IS DIS EAT HER CAKE AND MOVE ON WITH UR LIFE COZ U YOU VE LOST PASSION TO LOVE HER AGAIN.

Laveda:
Eiyaa

Please forgive her if she's really sincere about the whole thing, shít happens, that's if you really love her as you claim..

ones bitten twice shy..
don't be Fooled bro.
if she can carelessly lost it with a one month stranger then she ain't cool to be trusted...