Well, this is my first time posting here, been on here alot mostly for looking up random pidgin or igbo words and phrases. Basically I am hoping someone might offer me some insight or perhaps clarity on my situation. No, I'm not Nigerian, I'm Canadian.(family is Irish-French and very Catholic)
Long story short, I have had alot of close friends and family friends who are nigerians since I was in my younger teen years. I'm mostly familiar with Igbo culture because of a close friend who was a priest and an amazing man.
Basically I met a beautiful nigerian lady through online dating in my city in canada. (she is 3 years older than me but we talked about that early on and she said age was not a factor and she felt often that I was more mature than her) We clicked instantly and went on several dates for 3 weeks and everything seemed great and then she texted me and politely explained she wasn't feeling as strongly towards me as she needed to in order to continue a serious relationship(we had discussed what stage of our lives we were in and what we were looking for; settling down, serious relationships etc) so I was really dissappointed but said I understood and told her I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with her and wished her the best. I respected her wishes and let her be, no calls or texts, nothing. I prayed alot, felt pretty confused as I had felt things were going along well, and of course wish she would have given me a chance. When I returned from a trip to my family, I saw she had texted me saying that I haunted her and that she was hoping I'd see her again and we could give us a chance. Yep, you can imagine how I felt...just unbelievably overjoyed and I agreed of course. We started seeing each other for about 2 months (over the whole Christmas season) We saw each other about every day or second day between work or dates together, I fell in love with her pretty quickly. I have never enjoyed another persons company as much as I enjoy being around her... we have a similar sense of humor and views on a lot of subjects. The only word which I am aware of which could adequately attempt to describe her in my mind would be an Angel. Around January 6th, she basically stopped communicating with me. Period. We had had a great time at her close friends new year gathering/party. We went grocery shopping, spent some time together, watched some movies and then one evening while visiting her we made plans to go to a movie the next day so I bid her goodnight, as I had to return to my apartment to work on some online courses. The next day she ignored my call, and later on in the week texted something about not having the energy or time to do the things she wanted (which was a very confusing statement to be honest) and then basically she texted me once more after I suggested we go for dinner, saying she needed to talk to me...I said of course and called her, she said she'd text me that evening. She never did, so I called a day or so later and she ignored me again, I tried calling twice in the following 2 weeks, she basically ignored me again and that was the end of that. I couldn't understand any of it. That was this past January.

Fast forward to May and I tried to move on, signed up for a different dating site(currently I work a hectic schedule and have little social time/life) and she popped up right away as a top match...wonderful eh? So I attempted to be casual and messaged her asking how she was, mentioned alot had changed recently for me (it did, alot had happened) and if she would be interested in going for dinner or maybe the jazz concert that weekend etc she said sure and also said she was curious what changed but was glad it wasn't my good looks? hmm flirting or I was confused again? Anyhow so we met up after a week or so ( I work 10, off 4 days) and it was a great dinner together, even went for dessert after. I was probably abit stunned as I couldn't believe she was right there in front of me, but I didn't bring up anything from the past, we had a nice time, laughed alot, made lots of jokes and I complimented her of course etc...she looked beautiful as always. I thought the night went well, and as I dropped her home I asked when she might be free again, she laughed somewhat awkwardly and made a comment about how I haven't changed... I was kind of surprised and asked what she meant but she had to go at that point. We texted, she said she had a great time and it was good seeing me again and we could see each other when I returned from my next shift cycle. Needless to say, I was hopeful.

When I returned and called her she ignored me. I finally texted her and asked why she bothered to tell me we'd see each other if she hadn't meant it and also a few things about our former relationship. To summarize her responses she said it was complicated with me, she was sorry she ran off on me and basically encountered a "block" whenever she tried reaching a romantic place with me, although she said she found me really attractive and couldn't explain why that "chemistry" wasn't there. She basically said she'd hoped we could transition to friendship but if I didn't want to, she'd understand. She has never said she doesn't have feelings for me. When I did ask her to simply tell me that she didn't have feelings for me, and that I would understand if she said that, she said she couldn't as it wouldn't be true...

It's been almost 2 months and I finally texted her back as she is still on my heart and my mind. I casually said hi and asked how she is doing, I apologized about taking so long to get back to her on the subject of friendship and I asked if she was genuine in regard to transitioning to friendship and said I hoped things were going well for her...it's been 6 days and she hasn't responded, I am aware she could be seeing someone. I plan on texting her in a day or two as I return from work and there is a festival so I was hoping to ask her to join me in visiting it.
Basically I am mature enough to at least consider friendship with her, or at least attempt to. Yes, I still have feelings for her and would hope for more if she isn't in a relationship or if she is open to a conversation about it.

I know that was alot, I am hoping perhaps someone could provide some helpful insight, something I haven't considered or perhaps overlooked. I hope to talk with her soon and see if I could have a chance to try a relationship with her, She had asked me for a chance and basically I wish to do the same.

Physics 101... Ohhh sorry, is dis text book? Smh

нσω ɗσ υ єχρєċт мє тσ ʀєαɗ тнιѕ ℓσηg тнιηg

ur story is too damn long but at the end of the rope all she did was toying u..

She was keep playing on u and u keep chasing her ass...

horlamelekan:
нσω ɗσ υ єχρєċт мє тσ ʀєαɗ тнιѕ ℓσηg тнιηg

I swear I read it but I really don't get what he wants...

as oyibo don decide to do season film, d canadian boy don decide to do season novel.

SEASON 2 COMING UP SHORTHLY..!

What a long story.. jeez but your case is very simple. Do exactly what you did by leaving her for a few weeks or a month depending. Then tell her you've changed like you did and this time CHANGE. She told you, "you haven't changed" which is true so CHANGE

TrapQueen77:




I swear I read it but I really don't get what he wants...

Some insight into her thoughts, as I can't connect what she says and how she acts. And I am hoping to see her this weekend and just see how she is and maybe start anew. I get it though, I have been trying to move on.

Just save us d long epistle and move on with your life.It's really obvious she doesn't love u but rather sees u as her other option should in case things go wrong with her 'main lover'...

I no read oo

Sorry!! Long post, I just don't read em.

I suggest you try fecking her

Women and complication...she doesn't want a commitment with you...try and move on...don't try and be caught up In a web of her complication..move on...

'You pray a lot'?...that's great just hope you aren't the very religious type who isn't sexual?

Women love sex,and I feel like if you had sex you wouldn't be ranting like a kid .....you'll prolly forget the beech!!

Well , obviously you're dealing with an emotionally confused lady. She obviously likes you, yes but that's not enough. She's trying to bring herself to feel something much more deeper for you but it's not possible. Like she said, the chemistry just isn't there. So I'd advise you to stop texting her and communicating with her. Just leave her be so it won't seem like you're trying to force yourself on her. Maybe the relationship between you two would work better as just a friendship and nothing more.
*sigh* I know women could be confusing, but she's just being very wary, she doesn't want to make a mistake that she'll end up regretting. And, it might seem like she's tossing you around like a football. She's not doing this to be wicked, but she keeps on giving you chances just to see if she could bring herself to love you or something but it's not just working out.
Move on to another lady. I don't think this one would ever bring herself to be with you.

You don't wanna keep doing this with her. Yes today,no tomorrow. Before you know it,time's gone. It's a dreadful situation to be with. But be smart enough to get out of it now and fast. Don't make the mistake of trying to understand her. You can't,you won't. It's all about her. As hard as it might be,get out now. It will hurt of course. But you'll wake up one day and discover it doesn't hurt much anymore and that's how healing starts

Thanks MizTyna, Fabulocity, and Sashishalom, I know this is the case I've just been having a hard time actually moving on. Been going over this too many times in my head.. I'll be letting her know I wish her well and I will move on, been spending way too much energy and hope on this woman lately and I should accept the situation for what it is. Those who provided helpful feedback, you know who you are, thanks greatly.

u r loosing ur self esteem and Ego,which primarily ought to be protected jealously... u can still savage what is left and move on... she ain't emotionally stable, and the bad news is that she knows ur weak point... and finds joy in capitalizing on it.. u av been very good,sweet,caring and possess Every positive traits that would Mk a lady fall 4u... I hereby implore u 2 take a look at d options available below ..
1.exihibit that I don't care attitude or show her d opposite of what she knows u 2b 4d very last time,and tk her reaction in2 consideration.
2.tell her point blank 2 stay away from you, make her know, u knew she was taking u 4 a ride, and from henceforth.... it has stopped.
conclusively I av come 2d realization that no matter d effort a guy puts in when wooing a lady, if she isn't urs.. then u wasting your time. *peace**

Oh my gosh, I don try I read am half way na him sleep come catch meeeeeee... Zeeeeeeeeee

u grew up abroad and also catholic ..u must be the churchy type that hardly understands the rule of the game....u have good sense of humour which is good...bt u dont give drama...u do her all her biddings always calling and textin...damn!!ur chokin dat gal with love and attention.y not fix a date with her and cancel. it..stop calin incessantly...make her miss u....talk naughty sometimes...dnt be a nice guy...hide ur feelins.ur acting too desperate and needy for her likin......next time u fix a date withher,cancel it intentionally and dnt call or text her within d period..start actin as if ur nt interested..........u may still get get her again.....but ur performance so far is below par....u ve done pretty damage already...take charge nw and stop being a church boy..she is not virgin mary...




am available if u need to contact me on phone or somethin

"You have not changed"
The girl was expectant of something. Why can't u see!
Anyways, you being too nice.. countless number of dates and no single romantic encounter..
Sex could help

Godream:


Some insight into her thoughts, as I can't connect what she says and how she acts. And I am hoping to see her this weekend and just see how she is and maybe start anew. I get it though, I have been trying to move on.

When you give a girl too much time and attention, i mean when you be at every of her beck and call, she tends to see you as a desperado and hence starts forming and giving you some silly excuses like she did to you...reduce the way you text or call her, and if she ask why, tell her you want you both to define your relationshiop point and blank...otherwise you'd be making her to eat her cake and still have it.

She doesn't love you and for a lady when the love isn't there it's not there...

hey ...I read your story and feel your hurt. however, the truth must be told. it takes two to tangle. you can't keep loving someone who is never going to love you. be strong..move on. in doing this, nature abhors vacuums, therefore find an alternative.there are a thousand and one girls out there, even on that dating site. Finally, never make the mistake of going with the woman you love, you will always be a pawn on her chessboard. rather, go for a woman that loves you and you are the king. I got that from a wise old woman. Peace