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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! (60903 Views)
60% Of Married Women Don’t Love Their Husbands- Lady Says, See Response / My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate / 46 Kenyan Women Strip Unclad Because Their Husbands Can't Satisfy Them Sexually (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Yoyostic: 11:59am On Aug 18, 2016 |
Men,once they hook you,they forget the 'romance' side of them. What have you done personally to spice up her sex life? sometimes it's not just all about sex. Things like cuddling,romantic talks,showing real care and concern,holding hands,love messages,assisting her once in a while with chores e.t.c. hmm.You won't even need to start begging for sex if you try few of these.But the average african man will hardly do these,their ego will never permit such.How u wan take climb woman that is botg emotionally and physically drained? 14 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 12:27pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
You're a married man. What sort of conversations are you having with these ladies that they're asking you to "shine their congo?". You mean you had intimate female friends like these before you got married and didn't delete their numbers/cease communication with them when you got married?. Bro, if you haven't cheated on your wife physically, you have cheated on her emotionallly. Emotionally cheating/affair constitutes having sexual conversations with a woman/women other than your wife, sharing details about your sexual needs and wants with them, sharing details about your marriage with them, etc. Parties involved usually start off as friends, like you have, and the intimacy level of the relationship proceeds thereafter. Since you're doing these, how do you expect to have a healthy sex life with your wife? If you're being intimate with other women to the point where they're telling you things they want you to do them (knowing fully well that you're married) and you have the audacity to say you cannot change and get rid of them, your sex life and marriage as a whole will suffer because the emotional connection you should be sharing and building with your wife, you're giving away to other women. So, instead of blaming your wife, know that you are (also) at fault. If you want to see change, then you yourself have to change the things you're doing. innovestor: 27 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 12:44pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
i think you should take your wife out once in a while, do something romantic. (let your kids stay with grand ma or one of yous family just for a couple of days .let her rest gist remind her where you guys started from and where you guys are now... moving forward) women love romantic gestures all the time maybe she needs rest, being a mum to little kids isnt easy also, i think shes just bored,women get bored quickly and easily im not married but if i was a guy this is what i would do other babes are bound to come up since this kinda stuff is happening even if you didnt see them before.... they would be shining like diamond now 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by BellaElla(f): 12:57pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
OP your situation isn't strange, but how u go about determines the result u will get you have already made some mistakes like threatening to sleep outside. the day my husband threatens me with infidelity, I doubt he would get the solution he desires. the issue here is both of you are on different sexual wavelengths. Some women are just not naturally adventurous in bed, some see things like giving head and talking dirty in bed a taboo if she grew up like that, then there is nothing you can do, its already ingrained in her. what you can however do is to try and increase the frequency of the action. do you only hold her when you want some? do you flaunt her on social media? how often do you compliment her? do you cuddle her at night? are on chatting with other women in her presence? have you bought her any intimate stuff, buy her sexy lingerie, turn her to your model, carry her on ur laps and tell her how beautiful and irresistible she is to you. that you are lucky to have her etc, etc. some women need their inner sirens to be cajoled out, every woman loves to be wooed and sweet talked by her man. whether he means it or not ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() finally lose those your female friends numbers, it is highly disrespectful. you are married and as such the only females you should be interacting with those that benefit you financially, academically or business wise. if your wives male friends before marriage should start calling her frequently, I guess you wont fancy it. what would even give a single woman the morale to tell u to come and chop, that means your female friends are highly promiscuous and have no shame, you cant make progress in your home if you still keep those loose girls as your friends and confidants. 38 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Onegai(f): 1:20pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Yieldings is right: the emotional nurturing you should be giving to your wife is what you're giving outside. And no, you cannot keep sharing yourself out equally, no-one has that much of themselves to give. Ask yourself this question: what conversations am I having with my female friends that they are willing to sleep with me, a married guy? What type of conversations and interactions am I having with my wife that she feels nothing towards me except for familiarity and gratitude? No-one is asking you to delete numbers, but be sensible about these things. Imagine if Himself picks my phone and sees me having serious conversations with a male friend, telling him how my day was, asking how his day went, sharing jokes and even sending broadcast prayers and what not. Then I say "lighten up, he's my friend from before I met you, stop checking my phone". How will he feel? How will you feel if he tells you? All those girls, if they liked you so much, they should have married you. Now that you're settled and shining, they're appreciating the peace of mind you have at home. Let them go and build up their own men and you stop using them to feed your ego. Btw, don't use threats to ask for stuff like sex. Himself and I both know full well that all of the people that cheat, almost all of them are married men and women. And the married cheatings are harder to catch (so devoted to their husbands and kids! So prayerful! So dressed decently! Always up and doing and keeping busy! Knacking another man on the downlow! ![]() 14 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by innovestor(m): 2:01pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
BellaElla: Comments and advice taken in good faith. Thanks so much. The embolden section was not stated by me. Also not all the female friends, just a couple. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by innovestor(m): 2:04pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
If I did not quote your comments be rest assured that it is read, sieved, the bad thing taken off and the good things reserved for implementation. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 2:43pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Double post. |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by crackhaus: 2:48pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Sexual issues seem to always be the number one cause of discontent among young couples, second only to finances. I really have had it up to my guts having to sit around guys listening to them talk about not having enough sex, and looking to score with some random chic I can hook them up with. [size=13pt] JESUS, get a hobby you people! ![]() ![]() And while distracting yourself with a hobby, leave your wife for a while to build-up enough current/congil in her body—and then watch as she'll be the one wondering why you no longer make the moves... just for a while tho, don't do it too long so she doesn't get used to it. [/size] ![]() If however you can't bear the time it takes to play the game of making her wait and wonder, you can always make use of your hand and w∆nk your troubles away... assuming you don't see this as an abomination. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 2:50pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
In as much as our men sabi carry prick share outside, sometimes the fault comes from the wife herself . Just like what one female pastor said one day, "Woman if your husband still sleeps with you be happy!Tell him after the whole kwokirikwo, dim thank you".Because he get some women wey their husband no dey fiyck again. They now drill the holes if their numerous girlfriends. You women don't realise you have power . As a wife, you have to be creative and calculating. Let's take for example, men are moved by what they see, whether it is imagined first or not. I don't see the reason why a woman will just tie wrapper and Sit at home till evening. Why ![]() ![]() ![]() As a wife you must always be in the mood except of cause you are tired or exhausted. Some women go fast for one month, yamsh sef dem no go give oga. Once you're married, your toto is no longer ya own. Like I was saying, you know sey oga go enter house by 5pm, why not take a clean bath, look clean, presentable amd alluring, wear your short skirt with white pant inside. Food wey them wrap dey attract pass . You fit just lay down "carelessly" for bedroom untop Africa Magic or WWF and pretend of course after greeting him, that you are engrossed with the TV. If you notice say oga Don dey u use style look that side as him dey comot suit, you can "carelessly" adjust the position to reveal more whites".Even if he is tired he will be confused, by the time you carelessly stand up and ask him,"Obim what will yo love to eat?".He will be like,"Em. ..what did I want to eat *carry eyes up like say the food dey ceiling fan*. ..haa!*sits down on the bed*you know what, let me just lie down and make that decision. ...."Know mind oga, na Bleep dey hungry am . join him in that bed and see if he won't pound you like yam. 42 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by MadCow1: 2:58pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
innovestor: Talk to her.. Then once in a while, play away match wey you know say second leg no dey.. ![]() Then try and be dominant during sex.. Tell her to turn around, talk dirty to her and make her respond.. Ask her 'Who is your Daddy?' Hopefully She does not call her Fathers name.. ![]() Basically have a talk and get dominate in the bedroom.. Buy her lingeries and stuff. But you must take the lead and hopefully she will follow. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Segzee1(m): 3:31pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
kindly visit bisiadewale.com you will get the right answer/solution there. |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by cococandy(f): 3:34pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
innovestor: What has my marital status got to do with your predicament? Yes I suggest you change your number. It's a cost married women bear all the time. Tell me, if your wife has men begging her to come sleep with them that you'll be happy if she continues to keep the connection between herself and them alive. You guys actually have guts. Talking about how you can easily get it outside. Like this thread won't be up in flame by now if your wife was the OP and made such careless statement like you did. No you've to do what you have to do to save your marriage (if it means something to you) So yes change it. It's not that big of a cost. The important people will have your new number. Stop keeping temptation alive in your home. We are all humans and can fall to prolonged temptation. Don't tempt yourself. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Onegai(f): 3:54pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
LynnPetra: ![]() This is totally very true (infact I'm brushing my hair right now because of it!) But the reality is that, children are the death of Sex in Marriage. Baby age 2 months: you will prefer to sleep rather than be awake thinking of nyashing. Because you haven't slept upto 3 hours straight in 2 months ![]() Baby age 6 months: your husband (rubbing thigh suggestively), assumed the position and suddenly you hear "nyaaahhhh" Baby age 8 months: you wear bum shorts and your baby, desperate to fight all your weaning attempts, chooks his head into your laps looking for a way to open your top (I shi.t you not this happens till breastfeeding ends) ![]() Baby age 11 months: you wear your white pant and bum shorts, guess who is going to spit up food all over it and rub her mouth on your top in vex that you're giving her solids ![]() Toddler age 1 year: you lie down, your toddler follows you. You stand up, your toddler follows you. You go to the toilet and your toddler drums on the door until you come out. It's called Separation Anxiety. ![]() Toddler age 1.6 years: you arrange and package yourself on the bed and carry remote control to watch, what was it, Africa Magic. Your toddler begins to scream blue murder, because they were showing Teletubbies, how dare you change the channel! ![]() Terrible Twos and older: you and husband get down. Halfway through, you realise the house is quiet. Strangely quiet. That is because your child is drinking from the toilet, about to put a metal fork in a socket, pouring water into your speakers, trying to pull a chest of drawers on top of their silly head, eating Omo, about to "superman" off the balconey etc ![]() See, until age 4, just go with the flow. You may end up throwing away pre-intimacy just so you can knack in between baby naps, on the floor with dirty clothes on. It is because they don't prepare men to be fathers that they don't realise this. Those that have stayed with families who had really young kids when they are old enough to remember are usually understanding when their turn comes. Fathers should hang in there, because it will get better some day and you don't want your marriage in shambles by the time kids become independent. When they start school, things get better a bit. 95 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by HaneefahRN(f): 4:25pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Onegai: OMG, this is so hilarious 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 4:45pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: Hilarious. . . . . .but excessively bloated. Kids do not create lacunae in marital sex. I once had to live with a distant relative who put to bed 5/6 months prior to when I moved into the house. . . .and boy oh boy, those guys were on a perennial shaggïng-spree. They boinkëd like silverbacks high on viagra. When the kids come all it takes is little tetris done on the sex time-table and the case is settled. I need a favour. Checkity check ASAP!!! |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by shaybebaby(f): 4:45pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Onegai:Girl, you had me crying with laughter! ![]() But all you said is true. To keep intimacy alive when there are children involved, you NEED to be selfish and get some time alone from them, just the two of you. Arrange a sitter, sleepover at grand parents at the weekends etc and get away by yourselves. I recommend a change of scenery when you do this, book a night or two away, go out together.. Remind her of the girl she was before responsibility came along. She would probably not be entirely comfortable being away of the kids, that is to be expected but don't give up, keep up such breaks with regularity and you'll see that with time, she'll be the one to look forward to it and ask, when next are we getting away. Keep up the youthfulness in your marriage and you will show your kids too for when it's their turn that they can have such as well by looking at you two as examples. Laugh a lot together, tease and even at the times she is not in the mood, make light of it even whilst you are accepting of it. Good luck. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by HaneefahRN(f): 5:10pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
darkenedrebel: Lolz, true. But some children can be very demanding though, always seeking attention .Unless they have something or someone to distract them or perhaps sleep comes by, mummy isn't going to be left alone. But truly it depends on how the couple is able to manage things. Alright, I'll do that. |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 5:45pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: But that shouldn't discontinue sex. Sex may not be the be-all and end-all, but it's a barometer of the state of a relationship - once it's not recrudescent then that marriage begins to unravel. So really, using the kids as an excuse is rather flimsy. Did you know that in a survey carried out for married couples, 66% of them that had checkered sexual intercoursë were parents of teenagers. . . . .and the remaining 49% were parents of children aged between 5-12? always seeking attention .Unless they have something or someone to distract them or perhaps sleep comes by, mummy isn't going to be left alone. But truly it depends on how the couple is able to manage things . . . .and intelligence and proper planning. . . .
Okey dokey. |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nyceguy92: 6:52pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
OP did not tell us what the beginning was like so we can begin to trace where/how water take enter pumpkin stem. I agree totally with ikupakuti . You need to learn, read about, or study, the psychology of women and how their body responds to situations. There is hardly any woman that does not like good sex, unless she is sick. Are you the type that shoots without first getting a strong foothold and then aim? Women are slow to respond in sexual matters so you need to take time to work on her. It could be that you are not satisfying her so she employs those excuses to ward you off. Take her out occasionally, tell stories and jokes, be humorous. Women like these and they make them relax. Does your wife feel free to express her feelings no matter what? Ask her what she wants and what you are not doing right. I am certain she has something to say but feels it may offend you. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Acidosis(m): 7:34pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Onegai: All this wahala just for se. x?? Haba! See why some men would rather pay 'opo' N5k to get it done and closed. Time is money please. You can display affection at a leisure time, but you shouldn't recommend these assignments as means to get s.ex with one's wife. 10 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by MizMyColi(f): 8:01pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Onegai: I had to stop reading the thread to blow you kisses. ![]() ![]() ![]() (Something is wrong with NL emoticon scripting) Timboktou, you are a Selfish fellow. Change! 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by MizMyColi(f): 8:05pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Acidosis: Pray tell, what exactly is the work here? Another selfish fellow spotted. 16 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Dyt(f): 8:54pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Acidosis: Hmmmmm |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Acidosis(m): 10:42pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
MizMyColi: Lol According to her narration; for each round of sex, husband has to prepare 3 days 'upfront'. Thursday --->> Saturday. Na wa. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Acidosis(m): 10:44pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Dyt:What? Want some? 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Acidosis(m): 10:46pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
Dyt:What? Want some? |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 11:28pm On Aug 18, 2016 |
The thread has been very interesting so far and it shows how different people / women are. I love my man to do some of the things suggested here (a weekend alone, an evening out, help with chores, gifts ![]() ![]() OP needs to find out what pushes his wife's buttons. Everyone is different. What MOST women have in common, however, is that they like freshness so OP ask yourself if your personal hygiene meets all required standards. Some men let themselves go after marriage - and before someone starts to hyperventilate - some women too. ![]() 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 12:09am On Aug 19, 2016 |
They have come with their unrealistic and untested advice for a sexûally starved fellow. Dine out this, movie that, hairdo the other. Oga Innovestor, there are millions of men who are doing way more than all these useless suggestions who dîcks are drier than the Sahara. You think all those men you see in fancy restaurants are being blown by their wives? Dream on. You will wash plate and sweep and mop your in-laws house and you will have even less action than septuagenarian. If I were you, I would not breach the subject. You've already done so three times without any atom of progress. Is this how you will dancing about because of one ponmo? She knew the kind of person you were before she married you and she should not have gone ahead to do so if she doesn't like your ways. If you begin to bend for the pûssy now, you will bend until she gets tired of this bending style and then she tell you "change your style, another style" then you begin to twist. Get a bloody side chick and sleep with her when she thinks she's in the mood. And if she makes the first move, never deny her, fûck the hell out of her. That way, she knows she can't control you using séx. I done talk my own. 20 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by Nobody: 12:12am On Aug 19, 2016 |
MizMyColi: That's not how to spell my name, by the way. What makes me selfish? Do you have a penîs? Do you know how crucial the vagïna is for a dîck? 12 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by innovestor(m): 7:17am On Aug 19, 2016 |
cococandy: Please don't take offence whatsoever. The answer to that question is this: Imagine an Engineer preferring a medical solution to a Doctor. He might be right in the solution but it might come from an engineering point of view. The practicality of the solution would be confirmed during application. Read some posts before now and you will understand what i mean. I am not the fan of "changing number things". She still has her number. Like i said whatever does not change before marriage does not change because of marriage. Change is an individual resolve. 9 Likes |
Re: Why Do Most Wives Deny Their Husbands Sex? They Need To CHANGE! by benjibabs(m): 7:26am On Aug 19, 2016 |
1.) did you really tell your wife you will not discuss the subject again after trying twice? So, how would you resolve the issue na? Oh, you will grab one of your side chicks already inviting you, Shey? Wrong move! You will only end up destroying your home. Biko, don't do it. 2.) I don't completely agree with dumping your female friends just because you got married; some friends are worth keeping. However, those ones that are inviting you to bed, you need to get rid of them double fast. They are temptation and trouble waiting to happen. If you keep communicating with them, it will happen one day. Those ones with good heads on their shoulders, make them your family friends. Never keep female friends who your wife is not friend with. I'm talking of close friends and not acquaintances. 3.) I read a book where the author describes the mind of woman as a stack of books and the mind of man as a set of books in a shelf. If a woman desires to read the book at the bottom of the stack, she will have to remove all the books on top of it to reach it. For man, he can simply reach and pull any book to read any time. In a nutshell, if your wife has anything on her mind bothering her and se.x has been pushed to the bottom of the stack of issues, you will have to help her clear the issues before se.x can happen. We men can keep issues aside and enjoy good se.x and tackle issues later. So, open that channel of communication on the issue again and get to the bottom of the issue. Don't be too quick to say she has no issues because you provide everything she needs. A lot of times it is not about needs. You will be surprise what you will turn up. Most of the time, it is something simple but overlooked. 4.) Men are visual, while women are emotional. No matter how tired you are, if your wife walks around in se.xy lingerie, you will respond and perform. For women, visuals alone will not do it. You need to press your wife's emotional botton to get your desired response. It seems you have chores and other distractions under control, but are you engaging her? Do you guys spend time together before retiring to the bedroom after work ? Read Onegai's response again about spending time with your wife. Don't ask for se.x, create the atmosphere for it. 5.) Your wife's attention is divided when the kids start to roll in. It will only get "worse" with increasing number of children. Your alone time with your wife will be reduced to almost nothing; cuddling in front of TV while watching a good movie will disappear, se.x anytime and anywhere in the house will suddenly go extinct etc. Onegai wrote about kids timeline and what to expect in her second response. Read it again and that will give you a good picture what your wife might be going through since you mentioned you have kids. Taking care of children is a FULL TIME job. I doff my hat to all mothers in the house; may God bless their efforts on their children. With children around, you have to make conscious effort to plan for se.x, otherwise it will be left in the back burner, either by one or both of you. Now, go and put together a creative strategy to get enough of the "Wetin call" to your satisfaction. And, while at it, get rid of all those side chicks you are using as safety net. 21 Likes |
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