Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

Your husband is still immature to be the man of the family. The problem isn't you but your husband, he is not incharge of his family. For a better advice, can you highlight some of these problems between you and your sisters-in-laws.

DissTroy:


Dimwits like you are scared of commitments or making an honest woman of that particular woman in your life would come online to insult people who have experience in courting and marriage.

Go get married, experience family life even for a month then come back to type this hogwash.

You know nothing about the intricacies of married life.

DissTroy, Stop tickling your fancies, I am legally married if you may wish to know. My siblings and in-laws has limit to which they can influence my marriage. I don't decide for them in their marriages so they have no right to decide what goes on in my marriage. They can only advice. Take that to the bank.

I understand what you're going through dear. But please, If begging will save your marriage- please beg.
You are not a foolish wife, you're just been wise!
At the long run, you, your children and husband is all that matters. Others are extended family members.

NB:Your husband ought to protect you but sonce he in not doing that kindly play the fool for the sake of your children and to keep the love of the man you care so much about.

#Myopinion

Best to focus on your family and avoid negative energy.

How have you been dealing with it for the past ten years?


Continue in the same way

They are lucky u are not some wicked woman...na to just prepare gud meal and serve dem.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

  I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 
    I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

    From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

  My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

   For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

    Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

   Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.
   My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
  Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

How does your SILs have such influence in your nuclear family?

Pussy immature man-boy...

He must be effeminate too...

What a manboy your husband is, how can his sisters have so much influence on him? Not even his mother? SMH!!! Ignore all of them, you don't need anyone's validation to exist in life, not even your husband, if he continues to side his sisters, pretend he doesn't exist and focus on your children.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

  I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 

I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

  

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

This is irrelevant to the subject

  

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more.

Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise

Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs

Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

Can you highlight some of the problem you are having with your SIL so that we can know how to advise you

Please what causes the lack of peace? You need to be specific.

Try to win the heart of your husband,once you have him fully on your side,maintain a good relationship with his siblings, leave the rest for God to handle

dawnomike:
I understand what you're going through dear. But please, If begging will save your marriage- please beg.
You are not a foolish wife, you're just been wise!
At the long run, you, your children and husband is all that matters. Others are extended family members.

NB:Your husband ought to protect you but sonce he in not doing that kindly play the fool for the sake of your children and to keep the love of the man you care so much about.

#Myopinion

Guy, don't be quick to take position because you are yet to get the fact. Do you think her in-laws are all foolish just like that to be making life uncomfortable for her without she doing anything? Do you think her husband is foolish to be telling her to make peace with his sisters? Guy, women are fond of owning the man in full without any "in-laws" coming. They love separating their husbands from their (husbands) families. They always want the man to support them at all times during any conflict with their in-laws (sisters and mother).

So, her husband telling her to settle her differences with his family is highly appropriate. As long as his in-laws aren't evil, any conflict must be resolved in its merit without any bias

MEGA4BILLION:
Your husband is still immature to be the man of the family. The problem isn't you but your husband, he is not incharge of his family. For a better advice, can you highlight some of these problems between you and your sisters-in-laws.

Are you married? Do you have loving family?

[s]

Fountainofyouth:
What a manboy your husband is, how can his sisters have so much influence on him? Not even his mother? SMH!!! Ignore all of them, you don't need anyone's validation to exist in life, not even your husband, if he continues to side his sisters, pretend he doesn't exist and focus on your children.

[/s]
Are you married?

freecocoahubby:


Yes, he's a man-boy just like your father who ejaculated a nincompop like you into your mother's rotten rectum - and that's why you have the shameless guts to open your dirty d!ck-sucker to call another woman's husband a "man-boy". Scallywag!

She is entitled to her flawed opinion bro... Blame the wife that brought her family issue to public forum.

Fountainofyouth:



Haa, wasn't he a boy before being a man? What is wrong in what I said? Is it because I joined the two together? Are you the husband? Nawa oo.

You talk a lot of trash and you're so fond of insulting people's husbands - which speaks volumes about where you are in life.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Best to focus on your family and avoid negative energy.

Are you married?

TonyeBarcanista:

She is entitled to her flawed opinion bro... Blame the wife that brought her family issue to public forum.

To be honest I blame these jobless housewives who litter nairaland with useless threads.. it's like they derive pleasure from watching bitter feminists ridicule their home, spouse and marriage - anyway, what's my own sef

TonyeBarcanista:

Guy, don't be quick to take position because you are yet to get the fact. Do you think her in-laws are all foolish just like that to be making life uncomfortable for her without she doing anything? Do you her husband is foolish to be telling her to make peace with his sisters? Guy, women are fond of owning the man in full without any "in-laws" coming. They love separating their husbands from their (husbands) families. They want the man to support them at all times during any conflict with their in-laws (sisters and mother). Telling her to settle her differences with his family is highly appropriate. As long as his in-laws aren't evil, any conflict must be resolved in its merit without any bias


Are you married? Do you have loving family?

Did you not see where she said she tried making peace with them by giving gifts etc? She tried everything she could to be the better person but they gave her cold shoulder, just because he's the only son and the most successful, did you not see that? Don't you think they envy the fact that she the wife is benefiting from the riches? If she is alienating the husband from them, will the husband join in the cold shoulder and with holding sex like a child? Doesn't that show immaturity in his part?

You see one thing with some so called men here, in their quest to sound unbiased and intelligent, they just couldn't help the fact that supporting the man is their sole aim, regardless of what is glaring, then if they can't avoid blaming the man, the come up with their famous words "we don't know the fact or the whole story" SMH!!!

freecocoahubby:

To be honest I blame these jobless housewives who litter nairaland with useless threads.. it's like they derive pleasure from watching bitter feminists ridicule their home, spouse and marriage - anyway, what's my own sef

That is an evidence that they are the problem.

The mumus will take advice of feminists and end up scattering their marriage. Then, they will start opening thread asking why single men discriminate divorces and single mothers.

Anyway, as long as a man is not hitting a wife, maltreating her nor cheating on her, SHE HAS NO REASON TO WAIL. All these conflicts with in-laws that could be resolved amicably aren't worth bringing to the public.

Na dem sabi sha

They are coming back, interesting times ahead on family section, still expecting others.

If you askee mee, na who I go ask?

Fountainofyouth:


Did you not see where she said she tried making peace with them by giving gifts etc? She tried everything she could to be the better person but they gave her cold shoulder, just because he's the only son and the most successful, did you not see that? Don't you think they envy the fact that she the wife is benefiting from the riches? If she is alienating the husband from them, will the husband join in the cold shoulder and with holding sex like a child? Doesn't that show immaturity in his part?

I don't expect her to say FULL TRUTH because humans are fond of saying half truths to make them appear as oppressed and garner public sympathy. I know that her in-laws aren't mad people to be taking gifts when she didn't err.

What did she do? What has she done? What is the recurring issue? Saying it is envy is the most FOOLISH assumption! Why should her SIL envy her? Is she their mate? Is she the one feeding their brother? Use your brain

You see one thing with some so called men here, in their quest to sound unbiased and intelligent, they just couldn't help the fact that supporting the man is their sole aim, regardless of what is glaring, then if they can't avoid blaming the man, the come up with their famous words "we don't know the fact or the whole story" SMH!!!

You can go hit your head on the wall if you are pained by that assertion!

Only those that don't know manipulating style of women will fall for this nonsense nag

BTW Are you married?

its very sad to see he cant stand up to his sisters and protect you. there's a way he can make peace without causing issues. too bad you married a man still tied to his sisters apron strings. you have to be very mature in dealing with this.

Zombiekiller010:
Try to win the heart of your husband,once you have him fully on your side,maintain a good relationship with his siblings, leave the rest for God to handle

The only way a woman can win my heart fully to hers is by showing love to my blood. There is no way a woman can love and respect you without showing same to your family

[s]

Fountainofyouth:


You are a very irritating human, so because he isn't hitting and cheating, she shouldn't wail abi? All other abuses and psychological, emotional trauma is allowed like the one Op complained about right? Pdp left government with your sense abi? Nonsense.

[/s]
I expect nothing different from angry, bitter, aggressive and frustrated feminist

Yimu

TonyeBarcanista:

I don't expect her to say FULL TRUTH because humans are fond of saying half truths to make them appear as oppressed and garner public sympathy. I know that her in-laws aren't mad people to be taking gifts when she didn't err.

What did she do? What has she done? What is the recurring issue? Saying it is envy is the most FOOLISH assumption! Why should her SIL envy her? Is she their mate? Is she the one feeding their brother? Use your brain


You can go hit your head on the wall if you are pained by that assertion!

Only those that don't know manipulating style of women will fall for this nonsense nag

BTW Are you married?

If you want the full story, get out of these thread and go look for the family and where they live, tell them you are a man supporting commenter here and you want to support the husband fully, you hear? Because according to you, women are manipulators, and men are always the truthful and right one, they do no wrong abi?

Are you fvcking married too? What has that got to do with anything? Rubbish.

MrMakaveli20:
its very sad to see he cant stand up to his sisters and protect you. there's a way he can make peace without causing issues. too bad you married a man still tied to his sisters apron strings. you have to be very mature in dealing with this.

You want him to stand up to his sisters and at same time expect amicable solution? Jesus!

And yes, the husband has a loving family that is as important as life itself. The wife has to blend by making peace with her husband's siblings. There is no ambiguity here!

I am saying this because I have loving family, I will never separate from my family because I married someone. She should be seeking true reconciliation with her SILs instead of seeking her husband "support".